Funny True Stories

THE IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHERS

My Dad has these rich friends who are identical twins, Jerry and Jack. I mean they are so identical that nobody can tell them apart. It is uncanny how much they look alike.

The brothers used to be in the country music business in Nashville. When that was over, they got into construction. Through some personal connections, they ended up building many of the new palaces in Saudi Arabia after the 1970s oil boom.

The brothers got in trouble with the Internal Revenue Service over income taxes from the millions they made in construction in Saudi Arabia. Only Jerry's name was on the paperwork for the business. He was convicted of tax fraud and sentenced to a few years in federal prison. But his brother Jack got off scot free.


The sentence was to be served at Eglin Air Force Base Prison Camp. This is like a country club, with swimming pools, tennis courts, and a golf course. It is the kind of place where government officials go when convicted of corruption or high end tax cheats and Wall Street swindlers. It has no fence around it—just a fat yellow line you are not allowed to cross. There are no armed guards. It is on the honor system. But the incentive not to cross that line is strong. If you are caught, you have to go to a real prison with murderers and rapists.

So Jerry gets sent to prison. His brother Jack feels so bad that he agrees to a scheme whereby they will alternate serving the time. Every other month, Jerry sneaks out across the fat yellow line and Jack sneaks in to take his place. Nobody seems the wiser.

Well, it ends up that the boys get to know the warden very well. They find out that the warden is a huge Willie Nelson fan. It just so happens that the boys are best buddies with Willie. Jerry asks the warden how he would like it if he could get Willie Nelson to come and do a free concert at the prison. The warden is thrilled beyond belief. Sure enough, the boys get Willie to come and play for the prisoners for free.

Well, the show is great and the warden gets to spend some quality time with his idol. After it is all over, Jerry goes to see the warden and says, "Warden. I was kind of hoping you might lop some time off my sentence now." The warden looks at Jerry with a steely eye and replies: "Son. One of you is going to have to do the time."


James Watkins
James Watkins
Jim Watkins on the drum kit
Jim Watkins on the drum kit
My band: White Summer
My band: White Summer

WHAT WE KNOW THAT YOU DON'T KNOW


I have two brothers, who are younger than me by an average of five years. Once upon a time, when I was about twenty-years-old, one of my brothers joined me and my dad on a 22-hour drive from Michigan to Florida in my dad's customized Ford van.


Now my brother, who shall remain nameless, might have taken some hallucinogenic drug on the way. At least that is what I suspected. He was acting kind of strange.


We left at night, intending to take turns driving and going all the way without stopping to sleep. Sometime after midnight, my brother, who was in the back, suddenly jumped up into the front in between my dad and me in our captain's chairs and yelled, "I want to know what you guys know that I don't know! I want to know what you guys know that you won't tell me!" He jumps back into the rear of the van. But he comes back several times to repeat these same pleadings. Frankly, we have no idea what he is talking about.


It ends up that we all really needed to urinate. It is late and there are no service stations around. We pull off to the side of the interstate to relieve ourselves. My dad and I take up positions in front of the van and get down to business. My brother jumps into a ditch in front of us to do the same. It is pitch black out there, and a strong wind is blowing.


Right then a car comes over the hill and its headlights shine right on us. I look at my brother and he looks at me. We can both see a fine mist of my piss blowing right on him. I say: "Son. Do you want to know what we know that you don't know? Don't stand downwind."


Me in my younger days
Me in my younger days
 A FUNNY LOOKING DOG
A FUNNY LOOKING DOG

THE STORY OF THE Y-PIPE


I was once the top salesman at the largest volume Buick dealer in the world, Orange Buick in Orlando, Florida. One of the men I sold a new Buick to appeared in our showroom a few years later. He was out of control, screaming at the top of his lungs about what crooks we were (or Buick was).


My boss hurried over and told me to calm the man down, get him into my office and find out what his problem was. I was pretty good at that and I got him to relax and sit down in my office. He explained that he had developed a small hole in his exhaust pipe, up near the manifold that was making a lot of noise. The car was out of warranty.


It so happened that the exhaust pipe was shaped like a "Y" and what he was mad about was that the auto parts stores had told him he had to purchase the whole nine-foot pipe for well over $100. That was real money in 1983. He demanded of me that I find a way for him to only buy the little section of the Y-Pipe with the hole in it.


Well, I knew that the longer I could keep him calm the better things would be. We could not have a big scene in the middle of the showroom of a Buick dealer. This was a very quiet and dignified spaced at the time. So, I got him a sandwich and some coffee and told him that I would go to the parts department and try to solve his dilemma.


When I got to the parts department, there was a long line. So I had to wait. Finally, I got up to the parts clerk. The thing is, I grew up in the auto parts business. My grandfather started an auto parts warehouse in the 1940s that had grown into a huge family business and I had worked there for many years. I KNEW that there was nothing I could do. You cannot split a Y-Pipe. I was just buying time.


At that moment, I didn't want the parts clerk to think I was an idiot, so I said to him, "Joe, some dumb son-of-a-bitch wants to buy half a Y-Pipe." Joe looked strangely over my shoulder. I half turned around and there was my customer! He had gotten impatient and come looking for me. Thinking quickly on my feet, I exclaimed: "And this nice gentleman would like to buy the other half!"



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Comments 102 comments

Lynn S. Murphy 4 years ago

OMG. LOL. These are just too precious. And you just can't beat real life.


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 4 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

Some good ones there James. This is so different from your usual style, what's up?


arksys profile image

arksys 4 years ago from Adelaide, Australia

great stories. very funny indeed. :)


femmeflashpoint 4 years ago

Who are you, and what have you done with James Watkins?

(Grin)

A very cool set, lol!

I'm feeling really, reallllly sorry for your brother!


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Funny, gives me ideas. Mind if I borrow your idea?


lone77star profile image

lone77star 4 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Outrageous, James! Hilarious!

So, did you end up buying the other half like you said? I know it's hard being a dumb son-of-a-bitch, but somebody's got to do it, right? ;)


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

I'm still laughing.


Seira Girl profile image

Seira Girl 4 years ago from North Carolina

Funny stuff - thanks for sharing!


Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 4 years ago from Isle of Man

I really appreciate the insight into the man behind the perfect hubs :) I hope you write more like this and thank you for showing us another side to you.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Very funny stories, James, and quite a departure from your more serious hubs. But fun to read. The Y-pipe story gives me actual evidence that you really were the top auto salesman. Quick thinking, my friend.


jiberish profile image

jiberish 4 years ago from florida

LOL, its nice to see the other side of you!


SanneL profile image

SanneL 4 years ago from Sweden

Funny stories, indeed!!

Thanks for sharing, so I could enjoy a good chuckle!

Sannel


CASE1WORKER profile image

CASE1WORKER 4 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

Very enjoyable and I especially liked the cartoons as they gave a visual treat.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest

Hilarious. If I hadn't seen your name I never would have guessed you authored this. Very funny stuff.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi James,

I had a good laugh over these true stories of your and the cartoons are priceless. lol

Voted up, up and away!


Kaie Arwen profile image

Kaie Arwen 4 years ago

J- You, my dear, are a VERY FUNNY man............. I could actually see you chuckling while you wrote these up ;-D Kaie


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Lynn S. Murphy— Thank you for being my first visitor! What do we have for the little lady?

Real life is stranger than fiction. Thank you for visiting and commenting! :-)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Gypsy Willow— So good to "see" you here, my dear. It is always a pleasure to hear from you.

Not much up, really. I had long been wanting to share some of my funny personal stories. This seems to be well received. I've got a million of 'em! :D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

arksys— Thank you!! Thank you very much! :)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

femmeflashpoint— I understand you feeling sorry for my brother. That is why I didn't name him. So, people who know me personally have a fifty-fifty shot at guessing. But don't worry. I have in waiting a hilarious story about my other brother involving "participation circus." Coming soon, to a Hub near you.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Becky Katz— Of course you may borrow my idea. I will be flattered if you do.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

lone77star— What a distinct pleasure to hear from you again, my friend! I am so glad that you enjoyed these stories. Thank you for making your presence known to me.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Gypsy Rose Lee— Thank you! Thank you very much.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Seira Girl— You are welcome. Thank you for visiting and commenting. It is a pleasure to hear from you again.


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 4 years ago from USA

Oh my gosh! I am so glad I stopped by for a visit before we took off again. I loved these stories! They are hilarious. Thanks for giving me such a great laugh this morning. I am looking forward to reading more when I get back. :) Keep them coming!


Ask_DJ_Lyons profile image

Ask_DJ_Lyons 4 years ago from Mosheim, Tennessee

I enjoyed reading this. Thanks!


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 4 years ago from Stepping past clutter

James, how refreshing! You are a human being after all. And a wonderful storyteller. Absolutely read every word. (Even the couple type-os, lol). Voted up and funny!!! Seriously. Great job. Thank you.


lilyfly profile image

lilyfly 4 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

Hilarious! Didn't tell the one about your Brother's gay piolet licence? haha! Loved it! lily


sweetoneangel profile image

sweetoneangel 4 years ago from New Jersey

Awesome, I am still laughing.


Alexander Mark profile image

Alexander Mark 4 years ago from beautiful, rainy, green Portland, Oregon

You've had an interesting life James, thanks for the chuckle.


jesusmyjoy profile image

jesusmyjoy 4 years ago from Bucyrus Ohio

cool


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Spirit Whisperer— You are quite welcome, my friend. This Hub has been well received so perhaps I will publish some more of my little funny true stories. Thank you for the kind compliments. :D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

drbj— I must confess I was pretty good at moving iron. I was doing so well that I was being groomed to take over as General Manager when I quit after receiving an offer to go back on the road with my band—which was my true love.

I am glad you enjoyed these stories. Thank you for visiting. :-)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

jiberish— It is great to hear from you again. I have missed our interactions and your Hubs. Thank you for dropping in!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

SanneL— You are most welcome. I am very pleased that you enjoyed these stories and got a chuckle out of them. Thanks for coming!

James


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

CASE1WORKER— Thank you!! Thank you very much! :)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

lambservant— Thank you very much for reading my stories. I appreciate your gracious compliments. I thought it was time for something completely different. And so, here it is.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Sueswan— Hello Sue,

I am glad you like the cartoons. Thank you for the voted up, up and away! It's good to hear that I made you laugh.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Kaie Arwen— It is always a distinct pleasure to hear from you. I haven't seen any new Hubs from you in quite some time. I hope you get back to writing. You are great at it. Thanks for making your presence here known to me. :D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

tlpoague— You are welcome. I hope you have a fine trip. Just remember not to stand down wind.

Thank you ever much for the awesome accolades. I will see you soon on the flip side. :-)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Ask_DJ_Lyons— I am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for saying so. And you're welcome. :)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Storytellersrus— You are surprised that I am a human being!? What did you think I was? An alien? :-)

Gosh, I have re-read this thing three times after receiving your comment and I must be blind to the typos! I cannot see them! :(

Thank you for the voted up and funny and your gracious compliments. And you are welcome.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

lilyfly— Thank you for chiming in, Lily. It is good to hear from you, as always. No, I didn't tell the story this time of how I signed up my little brother for the Gay Pilots Association. But that is a hilarious story because when his starter kit arrived at our front desk it caused quite a stir (he is not "gay"). He does not know I am the one who did it. :D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

sweetoneangel— Thank you!! Thank you very much! :-)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Alexander Mark— Yes I have. You are welcome. And I thank you for visiting and commenting.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

jesusmyjoy— Thank you! Thank you very much. :)


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 4 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

Whole not hole!


GmaGoldie profile image

GmaGoldie 4 years ago from Madison, Wisconsin

James,

Very enjoyable - as your writing is always. I want to hear more about the book you are writing...You must bring us up to date.


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 4 years ago

I like the way your story about the y-pipe ended. If it was my story, it would have ended with me turning red and sinking into the floor. Which is why I learned early on to simply keep quiet - because I have a way of putting my foot in my mouth. I admire how you saved yourself.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 4 years ago from US

Well now a couple of them grossed me out some but hey, if you can't beat em join em, hey? I am still smiling. Got your poem out today and it is the only one ever I lost points on the same day I posted it! Crazy. Go figure. Well hope you can laugh too.


Tamarajo profile image

Tamarajo 4 years ago from Southern Minnesota

funny stuff...clever back peddling with the customer.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 4 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

James, NOW it looks as if you are ready for Vegas!!

and be sure to tell the folks they gotta try the Veil!

One thing is for sure, YOU are diversified!

funny stuff!


stars439 profile image

stars439 4 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful hub. It was funny how the twins worked out serving the prison time together. God Bless You precious friend, and brother.


MonetteforJack profile image

MonetteforJack 4 years ago from Tuckerton, NJ

Sir James, I clicked everything and up! The cartoons are beautiful and funny, too. It is refreshing to read this kind of reading from you. Now I know you really are a great writer. Reading funny stuff from you is timely. My husband and I needed a good laugh after a harrowing time with our neighbor's family. By the way, it is close to December, I'd appreciate letting me in the know about your book? More successes to you, Sir James and God bless!


Springboard profile image

Springboard 4 years ago from Wisconsin

The last one cracked the biggest smile. :) Gosh, me and my big mouth have gotten me into LOADS of trouble over time. You and I appear to at least have the ability to think fast on our feet. It's the only thing that helps to ease the pain a little bit.

Great stuff.


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Voted up and all across James. Still trying to catch my breath. Absolutely funny and ideal. A great way to start the morning. The pics are awesome, all around awesome. Great stuff pal. Best wishes and have a good weekend.


Charles James profile image

Charles James 4 years ago from Yorkshire, UK

Very good James

Do a hub about humour in the rock music business. Finding stories you can print may be a challenge!


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 4 years ago from Taos, NM

These stories are hysterical! The truth is stranger than fiction sometimes!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Gypsy Willow— Thank you!! Thank you very much! :D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

GmaGoldie— Thank you for the kind compliments. I am writing four or even five books actually. All of them are in process but none are done. I seem to hit a wall at some point and then I switch gears to a different book altogether. But I circle back around and make progress on all of them. I am close to finishing one. It is on the History of the Christian Faith, from Jesus to Joel Osteen. :-)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

sheila b.— I am glad you enjoyed the Y-Pipe story. Thank you ever much for taking the time to read my Hub. I sincerely appreciate your comments. :)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Polly— Thank you for your remarks, especially for telling me about the poem you published. I have been away from HP for a couple weeks. I will go over and read it shortly. :D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Tamarajo— Thank you! Thank you very much. :-)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

CMerritt— Viva Las Vegas! I can follow right in Elvis' footsteps. :)

Thank you for checking out my stories, my friend. I appreciate your appreciation of them.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

stars439— You are most welcome, my friend and brother. Thank you for visiting and commenting. God Bless You!!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

MonetteforJack— Thank you very much for clicking up and everything! This warms the cockles of my heart, dear lady.

I am glad you enjoyed the cartoons and I hope everything turned out alright with your neighbor.

I thought I would have my first book done by Christmas but alas it will not be. I had to take some down time to prepare for a concert I played in last week. But I will get it done soon! I appreciate your interest.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Springboard— What a pleasure to hear from you and to see that you are still with us on HubPages. Thank you for the kind compliments. I appreciate this visitation and your excellent comments.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

thelyricwriter— I surely appreciate the accolades as well as the 'Voted up and all across!'

I am glad you liked the cartoons, too. Thank you for coming by and leaving such warm words.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Charles James— Charles! Long time no see, my friend. I do have a few good ones about my time in the rock and roll business. I'll try to clean them up a bit for this family publication. Thank you for reading my stories.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

suzettenaples— Yes it is. I am well pleased that you got a good laugh out of my funny little stories. Thank you for saying so.


RamyMehelba profile image

RamyMehelba 4 years ago from Egypt

Just Hilarious :) Made my day!


Bail Up ! profile image

Bail Up ! 4 years ago

Pretty funny stories and oh...I loved the cartoons! Great way to start MY morning.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Wonderful stories, Jim. They say that, "truth is stranger, and far more interesting, than fiction." I couldn't agree more...especially, after reading these delightful stories. Well done...thank you!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

RamyMehelba— Thank you!! Thank you very much! :D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Bail Up !— Awesome! Glad you liked the cartoons. Good to hear from you again. Thanks for coming!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Genna East— You are welcome, Genna. I agree with that saying. Thank you very much for the laudations. I appreciate this visitation from you today! :)


mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

Oh, I'm so glad to have come across this hub. I loved the stories and the cartoons. I needed a smile today and your writing gsve it to me.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

mljdgulley354— Well I am well pleased to have brought a smile to your face. Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate the visit and your comments. And I welcome you to Hub Pages!


April Reynolds profile image

April Reynolds 4 years ago from Arizona

Ha Ha, these are pretty funny James. Thanks for making me laugh!


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

What a fun hub with such funny stories. I laughed all the way through these. Thanks for the laughs!


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

What a departure from your usual hubs...but a delight. Has me smiling! Thanks!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

These were Fun Stories James, different from the History Lesson that we all know, and Love when you do...I like this change of pace as well...The Cartoons were a Hoot as well!


Leesleez profile image

Leesleez 4 years ago from New York

Grinning ear to ear. Need more.


Barbara Kay profile image

Barbara Kay 4 years ago from USA

The joke on the side about Colonel Sanders is really gross. These are funny stories.


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 4 years ago from Virginia

A nice collection of funny stories that you have put together....I liked the second one the best...but they are worth repeating....nice job...voting up and funny.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

April Reynolds— You are quite welcome. Thank you for reading my funny true stories. Welcome to the HubPages Community!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Just Ask Susan— You're welcome. I am glad I made you laugh. Thank you for telling me. I very much appreciate this visit from you. :)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Peggy W— You are most welcome! Thank you for reading my little stories. I am glad you enjoyed them. It is always a pleasure to hear from you. :-)


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 4 years ago from California

Laughed and laughed. Good stories.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

b. Malin— I am glad that you enjoyed the change of pace. I will have to do this more often. I also appreciate your recognition of the cartoons strategically placed in this Hub. :-)

Thank you very much for visiting and commenting.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Leesleez— Thank you! Thank you very much. :D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Barbara Kay— Thank you!! Thank you very much! :)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

Cogerson— Thank you for the compliments, as well as the voted up and funny. I am glad you enjoyed my funny true stories. And as always, I appreciate having you visit.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

tirelesstraveler— Thank you!!! Thank you very much!! :)


kunynghame profile image

kunynghame 4 years ago from Clarks Summit, PA

Always seems that true stories are funnier than fabricated ones. Thanks for the hub and laughs.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago Author

kunynghame— You are quite welcome, my new friend. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Welcome to the HubPages Community! :)


xanzacow profile image

xanzacow 3 years ago from North Myrtle Beach, SC

Outstanding! So different from your other hubs. I laughed out loud about you and your un-named brother!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 3 years ago from Chicago Author

xanzacow— Thank you!! I am so glad you got a laugh out of my stories. I appreciate you taking the time to come by and read my Hub. :D


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 3 years ago from Central United States of America

Stunningly hysterical in story and cartoon. I'm sorta hiding my computer screen from myself though! ? And looking around to see if anybody is peeking from upwind! Ha ha. Enjoyed (blushingly)the guffaws you gave this evening! Great stories!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 3 years ago from Chicago Author

frogyfish--- Thank you for expressing your enjoyment of my True Funny Stories. They are True and I am glad you found them funny.

I surely appreciate the visitation and your warm words, my friend. I look forward to reading more of your writings as well, which I shall tend to shortly.

Thanks again,

James


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

This was truly funny, James. Thanks for a good laugh. I had a friend, a former bank president, who was serving time in one of those "honor" facilities. I guess white collar crime doesn't pay.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 3 years ago from Chicago Author

PegCole17--- You are quite welcome, milady. I am happy that you found these true stories of mine funny.

Thank you for coming to visit. It is always a pleasure to "see" you and I sure appreciate it. :-)

James

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