Glee Recap: S03E13: Heart

It is Valentine’s Day at McKinley High, and love, as always, is in the air. Will it be a repeat of last year, when heartbreak ruled until a gathering at Breadstix eased the pain of lonely hearts? Or will love bring our favorite couples even closer together?

Sugar celebrates her favorite holiday.
Sugar celebrates her favorite holiday.

Oh Sugar, Sugar

With Regionals fast approaching, the glee club must consider the issue of money. Apparently, they are $250 short of their goal. Mr. Schue, conveniently forgetting all of the troubles that have come in the past from fundraisers (pot brownies!) and singing in classrooms (who throws a shoe?) suggests singing Valentines. The whole club, excepting Rachel, protests, but luckily Sugar steps up to the plate. She pulls the money from her purse, because her father is rich and she can do that. Problem solved!

Now that the matter of Regionals is settled, Sugar takes a moment for another announcement. It turns out that Valentine’s Day is Sugar’s favorite holiday, and in its honor, she got everyone presents. As everyone reaches under their chairs for their presents (since Artie’s chair moves, his present is in the wastebasket), she reveals her other plans. She will be holding a party at Breadstix, which will be renamed the “Sugar Shack,” and the entire glee club is invited, providing they all bring dates.

Sugar herself is single, as the club is quick to point out, but she does not plan to stay single for long. Artie and Rory rise to this challenge and begin to fight for her hand. Amidst many gifts that grow ever larger, Artie temporarily wins when he serenades Sugar with “Let Me Love You.” But when Rory announces that he will not be able to extend his student VISA and will be returning to Ireland at the end of the year, the tide turns. She feels worse for Rory, so he will be her Valentine’s date. Much later, at Breadstix, Rory seems to have forgotten he will be deported. Someone lied! The oblivious Sugar considers having her father buy Ireland to keep Rory in the US. Now that’s True Love (sure to be forgotten in an episode’s time)!

Brittany's technical abilities fluctuate from episode to episode, but she finds ways to show her love for Santana nonetheless.
Brittany's technical abilities fluctuate from episode to episode, but she finds ways to show her love for Santana nonetheless.
Mercedes expresses her love while keeping her distance.
Mercedes expresses her love while keeping her distance.

The Kissing Dilemma

If the Glee Club will not rise to the challenge of singing Valentines, someone must fill the void. Enter the “God Squad,” complete with a new member. Meet Joseph “Joe” Hart (aka Samuel Larsen, runner-up on the Glee Project). He has bible verses tattooed on his body. Each of his dreads is named after a book in the bible. He was home schooled, so he is technically a sophomore (thanks for clearing that up right away, writers!) who is used to going to classes barefoot. As Quinn says, he is “teen Jesus.” Although he is not in line to join the Glee Club, he does play guitar. Luckily, teen Jesus can also sing, as he proves when the God Squad serenades Rachel with at Finn’s request with the popular song “Stereo Hearts.”

This very public display of heterosexual love begs the question of what is acceptable at school. Earlier that day, Principal Figgins had stopped Brittany and Santana from sharing in a chaste kiss in the hallways. He had some complaints about their PDA, so he had to put a stop to it. Of course, nothing is done about heterosexual couples, as Santana pointed out. We get a recap of Finn and Rachel about to make out in public, and Santana’s reaction to the very graphic kiss is hysterical.

Santana surmises that the complaint came from someone with a religious background, so she decides to force the situation by paying the God Squad to sing to Brittany, who she points out, is her girlfriend. Joe looks conflicted. The God Squad convenes to discuss singing for a gay couple. The discussion turns to statistics; if 1 in 10 people are gay, then that means an apostle might have been gay (it is accepted by the group that if this is true, it would be Simon). The glee clubbers know where they stand, but Joe has to think about it. “You have to look at the hard topics and dilemmas and be honest and truthful. If you ask me, that’s what being Christian is really about,” Quinn offers, which is a good stance to have when you were a pregnant teen mom. In the end, Joe decides “love is love, man,” and the group serenades Brittany at the Sugar Shack.

All of this discussion causes Mercedes to think long and hard about her romantic predicament. Sadly, this does not work to Sam’s benefit. “I have to face the truth,” she tells him. “When it comes to love, I don’t know who I am. And until I find out, I can’t be with anyone. I can’t be with you.”

Hiram and Leroy scheme to delay the wedding.
Hiram and Leroy scheme to delay the wedding.

The Best of the Berrys

1. They lure Finn and Rachel to the auditorium with notes signed “Love, Mandy Patinkin”

2. “We agreed to sing it straight. No vocal runs. That’s how Jennifer Hudson got kicked off American Idol.” “I’d like to see you sing something straight.”

3. Hiram is jealous that Leroy had an ice fishing dream about “Hollywood heartthrob, Tony Danza”

4. The Berrys do dinner theatre rather than just dinner

5. Hiram talks bad lube and squeaky rubber with Burt… cars of course!

6. Hiram claims that “Nate Berkus [is] a dear, dear friend.”

7. “Let me tell you the secret to a long and happy marriage. Never go to bed without moisturizing.”

8. “And then we are going to commence with the teenage love-making.”

Finn and Rachel make up after their fight.
Finn and Rachel make up after their fight.

Lessons in Showing Support

Remember when Finn proposed to Rachel and she accepted? Yes, Finn and Rachel are getting married, but they have yet to tell their parents. But someone handled that for them. A cryptic note brings both Rachel and Finn to the auditorium to find Rachel dads already there. They enter singing “Going to the Chapel,” making it clear that they know of their little girl’s impending nuptials. Their genius cannot truly be recounted, but suffice it to say that the casting of Jeff Goldblum and Brain Stokes Mitchell was brilliant. In the most comedic way possible (see some highlights to the right), they let the kids know that they actually support the engagement. They are so supportive, in fact, that they will be hosting a get-to-know-you dinner at their house for the Hudmels (Hudson-Hummels, for the uninformed).

With the parents informed, it is now time to tell their other family: the Glee Club. When Rachel and Finn stand in front of the club and tell them of their engagement, the responses are varied. Puck wants to know, “When’s the baby’s due date?” Most just seemed stunned, but Kurt and Quinn are vocal with their protests. It was Kurt who told the Berrys of the upcoming wedding in the first place. Though others show their support, Rachel is saddened by this betrayal by her best friend and former worst enemy because she wanted to see both of them in bridesmaid dresses.

The dinner occurs without Kurt, but the Hudson-Hummels and Berrys seem to be getting along swimmingly. Hiram and Burt discuss car repair while Carole and Leroy discuss interior design. And all parents are in agreement when it comes to the end of the night. The newly engaged couple, being old enough to make such a decision, can now live as consenting adults. They get to go upstairs and have an adult sleepover, complete with sex. Though the announcement shocks Rachel and Finn, they do accept certain parts of the plan. There will be no sex under the Berrys’ roof, but cohabitating for the night is not out of the question. At least, cohabitation was an option before they faced the struggles of actually including another person into their respective lives. Rachel’s refusal to let Finn use her bathroom leads to a big argument that leaves both lovebirds wondering whether or not marriage is a good idea.

The couple eventually makes up and heads off to Breadstix to take a break and spend time with their friends. This goes against the plans of the Berrys and Hudmels. They had hoped that a bit of reverse psychology would keep the marriage from happening. Of course the parents do not believe that their young children should commit so fully at such a young age. Though the brief argument meant their plan could work, the result makes a new, better plan necessary immediately. Rachel and Finn have decided to move the wedding to May, directly after Nationals, so that they will have time to get accustomed to married life prior to their stressful move to New York.

Is Blaine's first reappearance in a gorilla costume?
Is Blaine's first reappearance in a gorilla costume?
No. Karofsky returns to express his blossoming love for Kurt.
No. Karofsky returns to express his blossoming love for Kurt.

An Absent Boyfriend/A Secret Admirer

Following last year’s Valentine’s Day disappointment, Kurt Hummel is embracing the new year. He is finally dating the hunky Blaine Anderson, the guy he had been crushing on last year. And despite being absent from school due to the slushie injury he sustained in “Michael,” it seems like Blaine has not forgotten his Valentine’s duties. Kurt receives a Gorilla Gram from an unknown admirer, but naturally he assumes his Blaine is behind it.

So when his admirer requests an early meet-up at Breadstix, Kurt shows up to see this “mysterious” man. He expects Blaine, but when the gorilla takes off his mask, Kurt finds Karofsky instead. David had transferred to another school to escape McKinley after the Prom Queen debacle. Now he seems more secure in his sexuality, and convinced of the fact that he is in love with Kurt, the out and proud boy that inspires him. Kurt might want to be friends, but he certainly cannot love David back, and he makes that clear. To make matters worse for poor David, one of his new football friends sees him with Kurt. What can come of this?

Kurt may have been disappointed that his secret admirer was not his boyfriend, but he does not have to remain dateless for long. Sugar has a surprise for her audience: “It’s time for my extra special guest. Back from the dead, and as cute and compact as ever!” Blaine is back, eye patch free! Kurt can shake off his disappointments long enough to enjoy a song with his boyfriend, and all seems well as it has ended well, for now.

Grading the Songs

Love is the name of the game in this edition of “Grading the Songs.” You get some classics with some new songs, all beautifully sung by the cast. And you get one show-stopping number that could not be better timed if they planned it.

L.O.V.E. - B+

Adorable montage! I love when they let the underused Jenna Ushkowitz sing, and it is even better when she and Harry Shum, Jr. get to show off their on-screen chemistry. Despite my love of Klaine, Chang-Chang is the cutest couple on Glee. And they sound great together! A perfect classic love song for a perfect couple.

Let Me Love You - A-

Kevin McHale’s smooth voice shines as the lead on these soul songs. And when you make it into a cute little boy band number, you cannot go wrong. I certainly would have been wooed by this performance! Love the song; love the choreography. The grade slips slightly only because there are better songs in the episode.

Stereo Hearts - A

A great way to introduce the new guy. Samuel Larsen gets his vocal debut on a very popular song. And while Samuel is no Adam Levine, he sounds amazing on this track. The original song is infectious; the cover is just as delightful. Even Chord Overstreet shines on the rap portion of the song. So cute and perfect! A definite must for your music library.

Home - B-

As with all of Damien’s songs, this one does not meet my expectations. The original song by Michael Bublé is filled with emotion, but Damien does not seem to connect with the lyrics as fully. His voice sounds nice, but with this song, the sky is the limit. While pretty, this song just ends up being a bit dreary.

I Will Always Love You - A+

Show stopper! Immediately following the shocking death of Whitney Houston, this already planned cover of her iconic song by the amah-zing Amber Riley could not have been better timed (a full Whitney tribute episode is coming later in the season). Amber kills the vocal, complete with all of the heart wrenching emotion you could wish for. When you sing a song like this that has been covered many times over and butchered at many a karaoke bar, you must bring your A game, and Amber brings even more to the table.

You’re the Top - B-

I appreciate the release of this song despite its short inclusion in the show. When you cast such stars as Brain Stokes Mitchell and Jeff Goldblum, you have to use their talents to their fullest, so a full-length song seems only appropriate. That said, the song that was released is not as enjoyable as the snippet included in the show. And Lea Michele should have been added to provide some much needed harmonizing.

Cherish / Cherish - B

This was a decent mash-up. Not knowing the original songs makes it difficult for me to tell where one ends and the other begins. I love when all members of the God Squad sing but could do without the Dianna Agron solos. Her voice is pretty, but seems thin on songs like these. Jenna’s voice would be better suited, but I suppose they could not have added the Goth chick to the group just for the night. That would have been going too far, even for the Glee writers.

Love Shack - B+

Fun fun fun! And a great way to gratuitously add the recently absent Darren Criss (fresh from his Broadway premiere) back into the mix. There is nothing amazing about this song, but it is a great flashback that is credibly sung. My Klaine-loving heart thrills at the cute moments between the two reunited lovebirds, and don’t they sound great together?

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