Google or Bing - Which is More Racist?

Okay, MAYBE that title is a little misleading.

How many times have you went to your favorite search engine of choice, with the auto-complete on, and been thoroughly surprised? You start typing and “Wait, you mean people search for these things?”

In a nutshell, auto-complete works in the same way that Google search does: the most popular and relevant results are at the top of the page. So basically what auto-complete is showing you is the most searched for topics starting with the few characters you have entered.

Easy enough, right? Sure. But an unintended consequence of this is that when you put in certain phrases, you can see how HORRIBLY RACIST AND UNINFORMED people are in general.

So this was my experiment:

1) Start with an innocuous first couple of words. The phrase for this experiment is “Why are…”

2) Create a list of equal opportunity races, religions, and sexes, and enter them after #1. The list is:

a. White people

b. Black people

c. Hispanics

d. Men

e. Women

f. Christians

g. Jews

h. Muslims


3) Enter into both Google and Bing

4) Laugh a lot at how horrible people on the internet are.

5) Highlight my favorite (i.e., most offensive, or most ridiculous) and take a screenshot.

6) ????

7) Profit!?


For future reference: The Google results will be listed first, then Bing.

Got it? Good. Here we go!

White People

Mayonnaise – You know, I’m not a racist, but those people are right:  Us honkies love us some mayonnaise!
Mayonnaise – You know, I’m not a racist, but those people are right: Us honkies love us some mayonnaise!
Wet Dogs – Wait, we do?!  I figured we just smelled like mayonnaise and freedom.  AMERICA!!!
Wet Dogs – Wait, we do?! I figured we just smelled like mayonnaise and freedom. AMERICA!!!

Black People

Big P – You know, that’s not healthy.  You shouldn’t hold in your p so long, just to have one big one.  It’s not good on the bladder
Big P – You know, that’s not healthy. You shouldn’t hold in your p so long, just to have one big one. It’s not good on the bladder
None – I can’t even make a joke about any of these; they’re all terrible things to think.
None – I can’t even make a joke about any of these; they’re all terrible things to think.

Asian People

Different Eyes – There are 1.3 Billion people living in China alone, and you want them to share ONE PAIR OF EYES!?  That’s really unreasonable.
Different Eyes – There are 1.3 Billion people living in China alone, and you want them to share ONE PAIR OF EYES!? That’s really unreasonable.
Hot Water – That’s!....... that’s a good question.  Is that true?  Like just plain hot water, not tea or coffee?  Man, now I want to know why Asian people drink hot water!
Hot Water – That’s!....... that’s a good question. Is that true? Like just plain hot water, not tea or coffee? Man, now I want to know why Asian people drink hot water!

Men

Nipples Book – Is “Nipples Book “ a codename for Hustlers and Playboys? Because if it is, then the answer is pretty obvious….
Nipples Book – Is “Nipples Book “ a codename for Hustlers and Playboys? Because if it is, then the answer is pretty obvious….
Fall In Love – I just imagine some recently dumped guy sitting at his computer in his underwear, eating ice cream, and crying.  Oh, and it’s pouring down rain, and depressing music is playing.  Also that guy is Ryan Gosling.
Fall In Love – I just imagine some recently dumped guy sitting at his computer in his underwear, eating ice cream, and crying. Oh, and it’s pouring down rain, and depressing music is playing. Also that guy is Ryan Gosling.

Women

Talk So Much – Next time you’re on a date, ask Siri this question. You are guaranteed to not have to worry about the next date, because it will not exist.
Talk So Much – Next time you’re on a date, ask Siri this question. You are guaranteed to not have to worry about the next date, because it will not exist.
Chocolate – Hey, different people like different things!  I like chocolate on peanuts and pretzels, but I’ve never tried it on periods.
Chocolate – Hey, different people like different things! I like chocolate on peanuts and pretzels, but I’ve never tried it on periods.

Christians

Hate Science – What has science ever done for us?  Other than basically doubling the life expectancy over the last 100 years, and giving you the ability to read these hilarious jokes at all…
Hate Science – What has science ever done for us? Other than basically doubling the life expectancy over the last 100 years, and giving you the ability to read these hilarious jokes at all…
Eat Pork – Bacon.  That is why.
Eat Pork – Bacon. That is why.
Wear Hats
Wear Hats
– You have to take these two together, just to show that Bing users have no idea how to spell yarmulke, and Google users have no idea how to spell yarmulke, but are smart enough not to try.
– You have to take these two together, just to show that Bing users have no idea how to spell yarmulke, and Google users have no idea how to spell yarmulke, but are smart enough not to try.

Muslims

Hate America Yahoo – Are they asking Yahoo why Muslims hate America, or is there someone named America Yahoo?  By the way, my new rap name is America Yahoo.
Hate America Yahoo – Are they asking Yahoo why Muslims hate America, or is there someone named America Yahoo? By the way, my new rap name is America Yahoo.
Fast – Man, there are a lot of people made that typo.  It’s “Why ARE Muslims fast?”  And the answer is…. Because they train, I guess?
Fast – Man, there are a lot of people made that typo. It’s “Why ARE Muslims fast?” And the answer is…. Because they train, I guess?

Democrats

Blame Bush – Well, they needed to blame everything on SOMEONE, and the Republicans already took Obama…
Blame Bush – Well, they needed to blame everything on SOMEONE, and the Republicans already took Obama…
Call people names – The rest of the list is pretty great, but I like thinking that Republicans are upset at Democrats, because they keep calling people doodie heads.
Call people names – The rest of the list is pretty great, but I like thinking that Republicans are upset at Democrats, because they keep calling people doodie heads.

Republicans

– Love Reagan – I like thinking this is because Democrats keep thinking “What’s up with loving Reagan so much?  He’s not that great…  Let’s ask Google what’s up!”
– Love Reagan – I like thinking this is because Democrats keep thinking “What’s up with loving Reagan so much? He’s not that great… Let’s ask Google what’s up!”
Hate – They just hate SO MANY THINGS, and they hate those things SO MUCH!!  I just want to know why!
Hate – They just hate SO MANY THINGS, and they hate those things SO MUCH!! I just want to know why!

So what do you think? Are Google users more racist than Bing users? Do Bing users have a weirder view of their world than Googlers?

The World May Never Know ©

Or, tell me what you think in the comments ©

That last part should NOT be copyrighted….

Who do you think is more racist?

See results without voting

More by this Author


Comments

No comments yet.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working