Growing Up Busty

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A 100th hub should be some kind of marker. I've stalled for days knowing it needs to be randy in topic and more that just another one of my poems. So I've decided to cheat. Hubpages unpublished one of my best grossing articles about six months ago. I've removed all the beautiful cleavage photos and all the naughty comments. So here is my story dusted off, from A to D.

We americans have a love affair with breasts. It permeates our culture and is magnified in our media. And as an eleven year old girl, it permeated me. I longed to have them. My sister and I would stick rolled up socks in our shirts and dance around pretending to be our buxom older sisters. I did pec. exercises and chanted, “we must, we must, we must increase our bust.” When I did finally blossom, I had a year of “coming along nicely” that in one summer turned into “what in the hell happened to you.” By the time I was 15 I had jumped from a B to a D and had the stretch marks to prove it.

My newly formed bust line created a wedge between me and my best girlfriends. I first realized this when I was no longer aloud to play the “does this shirt make me look flat” game. This is a game, for you guys that don’t know, that is played among young women. It's a bonding ritual acted out in front of bedroom and school bathroom mirrors. It is a game replaced later in life by the, “do these pants make my butt look too big” game. Another occasion the breast wedge reared its ugly head, was an evening my girlfriend and I were vying for the attention of this fox we spied while cruising. (Fox is what we called cute guys way back then. Cruising meant driving around in circles cause there is nothing else to do when you live in the sticks.) So my girlfriend and I would just see who the fox liked better, fair enough. “But no sticking your chest out,” she snapped at me. I rounded my shoulders as I had learned to do and lost track of my smile.

Guys were worse than girls of course, forgetting I had a face just six little inches north of there. But that was excusable. It was the comments, especially the ones from older guys. (keep in mind anything older than eighteen is OLD to a sixteen year old girl) I remember once walking through our mall, dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans. I was all excited about the new tricolor eye shadow I had just bought at Pay Less, when this older guy wolf whistled at me. I ignored him and hoped no one was looking at me. “Damn honey, you got a nice set of lungs on you,” he yelled at me across the mall. I rounded my shoulders, and lost track of my smile and made for the door.

The years went by and I learned to live with them. I still had bad days though, like shopping for bras. Lingerie departments always hang the pretty lacy bras on display. But when I’d ask to try one of these on, the sales lady would say, “I don’t know if we have any in YOUR size, but if we do they’re in that bottom drawer.” Luckily though times were changing. Breast implants were really starting to take off and that tipped the scales in my favor. There were more large breasted women around and Victoria Secret led the pack supplying bras and tops to support them. Like a kid in a candy store, I snatched up under wire bikinis, tank tops with built in bras, and blouses designed for curves. Thanks to all those lovely plastic surgeons passing out silicone like girl scout cookies, I was no longer big busted I had become mainstream!



The Day My Breasts Saved My Life


I don’t remember what I needed to put up there that day. Perhaps it was the case of wine glasses I got at the dollar store , or maybe it was a bag of baby bottles my breast fed son refused to entertain. Anything we didn’t know what to do with went up there. Up there was a loft. It could have been a second story, but it wasn’t supposed to be, at all. It just happened when our trusses didn’t show up and our contractor decided to stick frame our roof instead. Voila', a loft with no way to get to it. So it became our storage area that could only be gotten to by ladder. On this particular day, I was stashing something up there that needed stashing. And I was reaching it with a ladder that almost reached. The ladder was just tall enough that I could kinda hop off the top step and pull my belly up on to the floor of the loft, swing a leg over and be good to go.

I know what you’re thinking, don’t ladders have a sticker that say, “do not stand above this step.” Ya, but who listens to those overzealous ladder people really. So after stowing my stuff, I laid down on my belly and shimmied backward down to the ladder. I felt around with my toes and when I found the top of the ladder I let myself slide down on to it. Perhaps the uneven slate floor didn’t allow the ladder a solid footing, or maybe I was not properly centered, but as my feet found their way to the top of the ladder it decided to tip. One second I had a footing. The next second my feet were swinging under me and my fingernails were scratching into the loft floor, trying to stop the inevitable. I imagined the sound my head would make hitting the stone floor from nine and a half feet. Would it sound like a hard boiled egg? Would I be lying twisted and bleeding on the floor when my family came home? But then my decent was halted. My breasts had caught on the edge of the floor. It was only a fraction of a second, but it was enough time that my hands got a grip and my feet swung back and found a part of the ladder and balanced there. I carefully lifted my weight off the girls and scrambled to the floor. I think I started laughing immediately. My double ds had just saved my life.

How many times had I wondered why God had endowed me with large breasts but not the personality to carry them. Had they been given to me just to tantalize school boys who would never be allowed to touch them? Were they just intended to be play things for the men who would come later? Or was their most important role to be a four year stint in the over production of milk and staining of shirts biz? Today I finally knew the answer. When my creator was putting me together for my time on earth, he glanced at my life chart and said, “We’d better give her bigger boobs. They’re gonna have to save her life one day.”


Comments 67 comments

Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

omg RB!!! The only way I have anything there is with the good ol' push up and gaining weight EVERYWHERE (which moots the... point) Oh.. where to start! What happened to you, and saved you, led my sister to her early demise. Mom was quite endowed and I guess us girls took after dad! She was at work, atop a ladder, fell off, hit her head, and when the work did MRI to see if she would be ok, they found clusters of blood vessel's bursting one by one. Apparently they were there already, but hitting her head that hard caused them to burst and she passed in 04.

I'm actually really glad you posted this, let the men gawk, they'll never know the fear you had that day. But your life was spared for a reason, and maybe the reason was to let other girls who, still to this day roll in their shoulders and fear that's the only reason the man will like them can know, maybe they are there so a baby won't starve, but other reasons as well.

Here's one girl that only gets cleavage with the roll under it lol, but I'm going to share this with someone who'll just read. But I hope somehow it'll make her feel better. Before anyone had seen her whole body, they actually wrote her and asked for advice on plus size clothes!!! Uh.. previously she'd showed some new clothing NOTHING that indicated she was a plus size gal.

It can be so hard for a young girl, not knowing how much it can be appreciated later. I remember the chant, we used to do it too! lol. pushing our palms together! Oh my, well, it never worked for me! Just gaining weight did! But, welp, there's always that friend who had 'em and could buy our booze, nothing like being judged for something that is natural and NORMAL, and the things people say! I wonder if they have a brain at all sometimes!

Hey I made a "chit chat nothing but drivel yakky yakky" hub if you'd like to come over and jump in! Well, I better hurry and hit post before the flock of testosterone floods your comments LOL!!! (Ah, we love 'em, especially the foxy ones) Those were the days, wish I hadda been there to share your hidings at least I would have been able to help ya back down the ladder! :) MAYBE.. AAAH! :) I woulda put a "you rock" but there isn't that option! lol! -Kat


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

oh DUH.. CONGRATS ON 100!!!! I deem this "Breast o' Meter 101" .. since it is! :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Kat you always crack me up with your comments. I'm sorry about your sister. I hope my sarcasm about the ladder wasn't inappropriate. If this helps some girl out there not round her shoulders I'll be pleased


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

LOL hey sometimes I crack myself up then say "I SAID THAT?" LOL! Thanks bout my sis but her husband was rich she worked at frikin' KMART so she wouldn't be bored! She could have volunteered at a day care! Nothing about your hub is inappropriate!

But yeah, I'm definitely going to show my friend this hub, but if she gets anything from it to help her, then you dangling by your god given.. double d's.. then it'll have helped more than you! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Randy - I've heard some very strange stories in my life, but this one is absolutely amazing. You've heard of the Emmy, I know. Well, you have earned the AAMA - the well-known award for Astounding Acts of Mammary Agility. Well told and very funny, girl.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi drbj! I'm glad you liked it. And thanks so much for the award :D


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

I enjoyed this hub all the way :))) Well-written and captivating. Keep on sticking them out!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

That made me laugh out loud, for real. Thanks for the comment Martie.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

I used to want bigger busts, then I got older and gained weight...


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

HAHA Nice story! Gotta love those breasts now, huh?


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

@Cardisa Well I always wanted smaller and had kids, viola. Gotta trust mother nature.

Hi Nikki, yea they kinda served a vital purpose.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Martie made me lol for real too! I'm like Cardisa.. when I got gained a few lbs at least SOME of it went there too! But WHY is it the first thing to go when I lose weight.. sooooo not fair! lol :)


randslam profile image

randslam 5 years ago from Kelowna, British Columbia

What a great story. I remember those awkward years for girls in the junior high school years, and some poor girls did have 'em.

That they saved your life from concussion is reason enough for the joy of back pain, eye strain and personality behaviours that shouldn't have been worn by a young girl.

The western mind just isn't prepared for nature's gifts, and that's sad, because what with all that natural beauty--the man upstairs also gave you a brain. A gifted one, at that.

Thanks for sharing your tale of titular difficulty, the story of "flat shirt," never heard that one, and simply, your sincere discussion of something that can't really be hindered, helped, yes, but not hindered. Some mothers do have 'em, and the realm of feminine mystique should be applauded--not whistled at.

The whole whistling wolf thing has never seemed appropriate, but that's probably because of the way I grew up--and when.

Thanks, Randy, a bust out hit voted funny, beautiful and useful. Thanks for parting the veil so many wolfish men.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Kat I've decided Its impossible to get my bust and butt to look their best at the same weight. Oh well.

Ahhh RS, what a perfectly lovely comment. I curtsey to you.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Randy, call me a mere ill educated male, but I laughed like drain with your: "So here is my story dusted off, from A to D." A brilliantly well written and entertaining hub, my friend, Loved it.

Marked up, of course.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks TL! I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for visiting my 100th hub, now I can get back to poetry.


Joyus Crynoid profile image

Joyus Crynoid 5 years ago from Eden

Another engrossing read RB. I love your hubs!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thank Joyus! What a sweet thing to say.


Jane Bovary profile image

Jane Bovary 5 years ago from The Fatal Shore

Randy, I like that chant, “we must, we must, we must increase our bust.” Is this a case of 'careful what you wish for'? Big breasts sure do get noticed. As a teenager my best friend had enormous breasts and as a result, in certain male company I was often barely acknowledged. It's not nice to be overshadowed by a mammory gland..:)

But who would have thought your breasts would serve such a wonderfully practical purpose?! Love it.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks Jane. Thing is unless one has surgery we can't help the hand we've been dealt.


ejazahmed2609 profile image

ejazahmed2609 5 years ago from Abu Dahbi, UAE

excellent hub with great stuffs. thanks for sharing.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

No "stuffs" ejazahmed2609, they're authentic. lol.


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

lol or excellent hubs. heh.. ;)


cooldad profile image

cooldad 5 years ago from Florida

great hub, i enjoyed that. It's amazing how boobs truly rule the world. Of the many great things man has achieved throughout history, most of it can be attributed to man trying to impress a woman and get to the boobs. I know that's simplistic, but I truly believe that.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

That's hilarious cooldad! I'd like to read your thesis on this. :P


W. B. Isley profile image

W. B. Isley 5 years ago from Monett, MO

I just loved reading this. You have a wonderful way of telling a good story. Consider more stories in addition to your poetry. Your writing style is truly a gift. The metaphors you use in your poetry translate into wonderful prose too.

My wife has the double D thing going for her too, only she got here with enough self esteem to 'slap the crap' out of any guy who would be so rude as to do the wolf call thing, and has.

To me, the female form is God's greatest art work. It is a shame that it has been turned into a marketing gimmick for crapitalists to make money from. It is also a shame that most men don't seem to have the ability to appreciate female beauty without turning into cave men.

I have truly never thought about the extra mass up there being able to support the human body. I am truly thankful that it did, as you wouldn't be here to relay one of your breast...um...best stories yet.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

WB you made me giggle. Yay for your wife's spirit... I'm too shy or that.

"Crapitalists," love that word!

I got a little bruised but they did the job. Thanks for reading me.


W. B. Isley profile image

W. B. Isley 5 years ago from Monett, MO

I'm glad I could touch you in the giggle spot. >:*

I like the word crapitalists too. It seems to fit the extremely greedy.

It is my pleasure to read you, when I make the time for it.


upal19 profile image

upal19 5 years ago from Dhaka

Great pleasure to read this nice hub. I hope the hub author will not treat me as an intruder.


deadlyking 5 years ago

nich hub


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for coming by upal19.

Thank you deadlyking.


coexist73 profile image

coexist73 5 years ago from Muskegon, Michigan

LOVEED your hub :)I too experienced the same troubles growing up, what 13 year old girl wants to be whistled at by dirty old men?? I didn't even know what was going on at that age haha. Last year i lost entirely too much weight and found that my large breasts (which i had resented since the 6th grade) had turned into nothing more than unoticable A cups, for a while i was extremely happy to be able to wear a tank top and not look like i was "trying too hard" as some of the more un-kind females in my life have told me. I thought that finally i would be taken seriously.

As it turns out, i gained some weight, and my breasts reappeared, it was like meeting back up with an old friend and i couldn't be happier, it takes a strong woman to carry around that "burden", and its a part of who i am, as im sure you understand. Glad to have found you here on hubs, looking forward to reading more :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Coexist, nice to meet you. Having children knocked them down to size for me. I'm a very comfortable C now. Thanks for popping by!


cooldad profile image

cooldad 5 years ago from Florida

Randy- I think I'm on to something here. Difficult to prove, but I think I could in time. I really don't want to go back to college though. I, like most men, have done some seriously stupid things in pursuit of the almighty boobs. Maybe I should write a book, "In Pursuit of Boobs; A Man's Journey." Would you mind writing the forward?


Web World Watcher profile image

Web World Watcher 5 years ago

Great hub. I have to admit the title is what drew me to it...for less than innocent reasons. but found some really great and interesting perspectives that I would never have analyzed otherwise (Being a guy and all). Thanks fo that


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Like I said Cooldad, I await! Really :)

Thanks WWW. Teaching the masses about boobs... not my intended path, but whatever.


bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

Funny, I never thought of you this way. I mean I knew you were gorgeous, and your avatar is one of the best, and I'm sure you would be a subliminal distraction, but for me, personally, I'm an eye man.

There's nothing more incredible that looking a woman in the eye, and yes, of course knowing that she is beautiful, and obviously watching her whenever the chance arises, but again, it's what you women have going in your hearts and minds that knocks me out, and your eyes are that window...

Someday, at our respective book signings or shows we'll get that chance my friend...

much love,

bb


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

I know you just thought I was all brains. I get a lot of that, lol.


bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

Hmmmm...don't know if your kidding or not, but girl, you have one hell of a brain...


Mablu profile image

Mablu 5 years ago from Bangalore, Karnataka State

Interesting article


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks Mablu.


Jaspals profile image

Jaspals 5 years ago from India / Australia

Fantastic Hubs. I enjoyed reading. Keep adding more.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Did you read all 100, already?


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 5 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

I love this hub! This hub proves that women can talk about their boobs and get away with it. And you write this so well. Women can become very self-conscious about their size and they can in certain circumstances, take attention from our faces. This is awesome! I'm going to tweet this! :)


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

LOL RB!!!


Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Oh.. forgot to mention about "brains" I saw a girl's avi that reminded me of you only her's were just her "lifesavers" LOL and the saying said "I wish these were brains".. some of us just get no luck at all lol! :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for the tweet Cheeky Girl, I'm honored.

Katherella, men often keep their brains else where, so I don't see why shouldn't. :)


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

I really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing it so well


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Oh you are entirely welcome NightHag! Thanks for dropping in :)


Jennie Demario profile image

Jennie Demario 5 years ago from Floating in the clouds

lol this is unfair I can not compete with this hub on so many levels :( ha ha. well written Randy Behavior and kudos to you on your one hundredth hub! P.S. From a B to a D in one year.. that almost sounds painful!! lol


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Jennie! I actually don't remember. I do have stretch marks on my breasts and hips from growing so quickly though.


Captainausume profile image

Captainausume 5 years ago from New Jersey

My older sister and I were both "blessed" with almost unreasonably large breasts. I wasn't a late bloomer either. At about age 12 I was already a C cup. Now, here I am at age 25 with solid G's. Yup, G cups. I have to pay at least 60 dollars for every bra I buy. I actually have to save up for new bras. Luckily, for me, I live right down the street from a lingerie store which carries bras up to a size J. Not necessarily cheap, but I've accepted this. One of my closest friends also happens to work there, she has worked there since she was in high school and is an expert at finding the perfect bras. I only go when she is working because she knows what fits me. She just takes me to a fitting room, walks away, then comes back with bras for me to try.

But don't even talk to me about high school. I was a bullied kid as it was, and my "ta-tas" were just another target. People actually told me my breasts were TOO big. You would think there is no such thing. Try running track in gym class with the girls bouncing all over the place.

They were much more welcomed by the time I got to college.

Let's just say that now, my main problem is dresses and bras. I can live with it.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Captainausume its sounds like you have made peace with your cup size which is awesome. You are a much bigger woman that I. ;) Thanks for the great comment.


BakerRambles profile image

BakerRambles 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

Well I gotta say you do have a way with words. Great hub, and I'll have to check out your others.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for the read Baker! Ditto.


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 4 years ago from home

Randy,

as this is one of my favorite areas of study just ask my wife- i found your stories amusing plusible and well written.

I'll admit the title got me the story kept me- well done- too bad i missed the "raunchy article" :( ha

TH


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 4 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

This one may not last either. The advertising has been disabled on it already. They just like the word boobs I guess. Thanks for reading.


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 4 years ago from home

*tee-hee* you said boobs...

TH

Im 40 going on 8.


JoshuaDR profile image

JoshuaDR 4 years ago from Charleston, SC

Guys almost always notice boobs before the face. Boobs definitely rule the world! I'll have to check out some of your other hubs. My only complaint... could have used more pictures =)

voted up


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 4 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Joshua. The original hub that was band was riddled with pictures. This is the less fleshy version :)


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 4 years ago from home

randy/josh,

we notice them because they show up first...yes I am a 12 yr old in a 40 yr old body

TH


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Boobs small or big is an issue you have made good points here and so well written, and can be difficult to cope with you have certainly explained properly.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 3 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for the read DDE.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 3 years ago

Randy , I had forgotten how funny you could be ! We men you know , sure do love "the girls ".........ha ! one , a one to one two .......To All de Girlss I'ved luvffed Before .......come on sing with me !.......Ed


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 3 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi ahorseback, hope life is good. Ta ta for now ;)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

Hey Randy, first of your hubs I've read...but won't be the last. I'm off to read more now...those 'boobs' got my attention..lol


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 3 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for reading me Jodah. I'm glad you enjoyed it.. err them :D

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