Growing Up With Not Me!

Not Me Still Lives on!

 

Grrrrr!- how I used to hate that little guy or gal! Responsible for spilled milk, wet bathrooms, torn up flower beds, empty gas tanks, lost clothing, dirty dishes under the couch, and on and on and on. Not Me has lived at my house for over 20 years. From my oldest at 21 to my youngest at 3, I have lived with Not Me for half of my lifetime.

 

But, I have discovered something about Not Me that parents need to know – this kid is the perfect kid! Not Me finds new ways with each of my children to display talents I would never have dreamed that could be contained in only one child.  Not Me is creative, funny, smart, athletic, studious, brave, cheerful, thrifty, stylish and more!

I know, this is hard to believe, but let me give you just a few examples of Not Me showing off.

Cuter than my real kids at the time!
Cuter than my real kids at the time!

 

Not Me is responsible for singlehandedly getting me to repaint the front room and the kitchen at the same time. There was no other way to repair the walls after the permanent marker art mural was completed. Can we say budding artist?   Not Me, stylish to the extreme, has taught each of my children the art of cutting. By cutting hair, cutting holes in jeans and cutting off sleeves each of my children owes part of their sense of style to Not Me.  

 

Not Me’s athletic prowess cannot be denied. Responsible for everything from pants at the top of our tree to library books on the roof and able to slay breakable furniture and knick knacks with just a touch, Not Me was destined for the Olympics. Not Me’s bravery and cheerfulness are legendary. In taking the blame for a multitude of wacky, weird, outrageous and sometimes dangerous behavior such as parking mom’s car and forgetting about gas tank readings or using the riding mower to attempt to tow a jalopy down the street to a friend’s house, Not Me has never once complained about the lack of respect given to these accomplishments.

 

Not Me has thrifty ways that truly bring out the smart yet funny nature of this child.  For example, in hiding all the dirty underwear and socks behind the door to the attic, a load of laundry was eliminated. My child, believing Not Me’s logic, was convinced that the disappearance of the items meant that he would neither have to wear or fold these items.  Not Me has also convinced all of my children that empty boxes in cupboards such as crackers are really not empty, if you leave them there long enough, they will magically refill themselves.

 

I’ve spent 20 years living with Not Me and I have a fond storehouse of memories as well as a few nightmares.  I recently remarked to a good friend that it should be about time for Not Me to get a job as long as that child was going to continue living under my roof and running up repair bills.  I even considered telling the child to move in with relatives- maybe their cousin I Don’t Know down the street. 

 

Not Me must have overheard that conversation, taken it to heart and decided to get a job. Unfortunately, I still have to deal with Not Me every day.  Not Me is responsible for missing files and paperwork, running the copier out of ink and paper, forgetting to turn off coffeepots, leaving food in the refrigerator for weeks at a time and not emptying trash.  Worse yet, he also managed to get his cousin, I Don’t Know, hired here as well.

I guess, adding Not Me to my will, may not be such a crazy idea after all.

More by this Author

  • The Practical Guide to PMS for Men
    31

    Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, Psychotic Mood Shift, Puffy Mid-Section, Perpetual Munching Spree, Pass My Snacks, Potential Murder Suspect or very simply PMS. These very initials often send a shiver of dread down the spine of...

  • The Cult of the Wooden Spoon
    9

    I was sitting at my computer the other day and daydreaming, trying to decide on another topic to write about. Nothing was coming to me, and there was no doubt about the source of my frustration, Emily. For what seemed...

  • Globalization and the Impact Upon Unions
    7

    I wrote this originally as a class paper in early 2008 to explore whether or not and how much globalization has affected the unions and whether or not this has had an impact upon our standard of living. I let the...


Comments 6 comments

Gerg profile image

Gerg 7 years ago from California

Cute hub - thanks for sharing!


Nanny J.O.A.T. profile image

Nanny J.O.A.T. 7 years ago from Somewhere over the rainbow Author

Thanks - I'm still new - so any words of praise are like a burst of sunshine - "you like me - you really like me!!!! LOL!!!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

I really like you! You have a great sense of humor, and have had me smiling, if not outright laughing, through 2 hubs now! What a wonderful way to prepare for my day. I will be back later to read and laugh more! Thanks for setting the tone of my day. :D


Nanny J.O.A.T. profile image

Nanny J.O.A.T. 7 years ago from Somewhere over the rainbow Author

You're quite welcome! with 4 kids - iffen I doan laff I gonna cwy! LOL!

Glad I could help!


2C's 7 years ago

Hi there. This is a fun read and as a granparent I was gladd when Not Me left years ago. LOL But las he has returned in the form of four paws and long ears and a wagging tail. Not me is amongst my 3 basset hounds and tears up furniture and anything he can get a hold of. All was fine until the eldest fathered 0 of the lill brats and we took two for our own. Terrible twins they are too. Dad was never that bad. haha Well, we got to love 'em anyway. Great story and a neat way of telling about mommyhood. LOL


Nanny J.O.A.T. profile image

Nanny J.O.A.T. 7 years ago from Somewhere over the rainbow Author

Not exactly returned - with animals - it's Not Me's distant cousin once removed-Who Me? It's the look you get when you bring an animals attention to any mess they have made....At least that's who lives among our four cats.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working