Perfume or Her Fumes - How much is too much?

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You wake up early, ready to start your day. You take a shower and pick out something nice to wear. Then you go for that little something extra, just a spritz. Oh just one more… there, that will do it. You stop on the way to work for some coffee, wow everyone in line must have come down with something. I really hope I don’t get sick. They’re almost gagging.

This story is all too real for some. The sad thing is, it’s easily preventable. Wearing to much perfume or cologne is a common mistake, but one that harms everyone in its path. The smell can linger in the elevator well past lunch. The bathroom can smell like a barber shop. The toxic fumes can cause headaches, nausea, coughing, watery eyes, sneezing fits, and in extreme cases, diarrhea.

How much is too much? How do you know if you are wearing too much? According to ehow, less should be used on warm days, and more on the colder ones. This really doesn’t tell us a precise amount. Perhaps there isn't a certain amount for everyone. How about gauging people’s reactions? If you walk into a room and everyone is gagging and coughing, chances are that you over did it.

And men are just as guilty as women, sometimes more so. Whether it be the older men with their aftershave or the younger ones armed with half a can of Axe, the results can be quite pungent. So I came up with some easy ways to tell if perhaps you're wearing too much of your go to sniff.

Here are a few more basic ways to tell you are using too much cologne or perfume:

  • You find yourself constantly alone in the elevator.
  • You set off a smoke detector.
  • You hop into a cab and the driver flat out refuses to take you anywhere.
  • Your dog or cat will not come near you.
  • If the way someone asks “Are you wearing cologne?” is more of a threat than a question.
  • If you cause a chemical reaction in a swimming pool.
  • If people are afraid to smoke near you.
  • Your car smells like your fragrance, at the end of the day.
  • If your coworker asks if you ran out of gas this morning.
  • You walk into the bathroom and the occupants start coughing and sneezing uncontrollably.
  • If people can smell you in a sports stadium.
  • If you set off a metal detector.
  • If you set of a detector, period, due to your smell.
  • If you come across more than two people with nose bleeds on the same day.
  • Your clothes still smell of perfume or cologne after washing.
  • You have a rash on your neck.
  • People have to squint while talking to you.
  • You have to hold your breath while applying
  • You are prohibited from boarding a plane
  • Small plants wilt and die in your presence.
  • You are quarantined
  • You fail a breathalyzer, completely sober.
  • You have been questioned by the EPA

These are some sure fire ways to tell if you are wearing too much cologne or perfume. If one or more of these has happened to you, you may want to tone it down on the fragrance. Don't feel bad, chances are you became immune to the high levels of perfume long ago and had no idea you smelled like a walking department store.

Just remember, soap and water can work wonders. We all want to smell pleasant, but we shouldn't have to harm others by doing so. Less is more and none is great. If you are going to use a fragrance, one small spray should get you, and others, through the day.


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Comments 15 comments

Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 4 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

A great perfume is one that isn't too strong and provides only a hint of something good.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

(snicker!)

I can stand too much perfume on a woman, but too much stink-um on a man is just intolerable. I once sent a guy home to wash it off because it was making my eye water!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

Agreed Fiddleman, thanks!

Funny stuff Will Star!


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

I thought I was going to throw up yesterday because someone was wearing too much perfume. But I would add someone who also can't stand to be touched since they were so much. It' just not good. That stuff has too many chemicals in it and for someone like me with allergies it's intolerable.


gryphin423 profile image

gryphin423 4 years ago from Florida

You're hysterical. But you are right on the money about the dogs and cats backing away. My cats hate ANY fragrance. It's like I have ebola or something. And I bought a used car once that had the smell of Drakkar Noir, thankfully I actually liked it and so it was my permanent freshener. The previous owner must have drenched himself in that stuff! Great hub, voted up and Too Funny!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

That's how this hub started Alecia, I feel your pain!

Thanks gryphin, it is strange how a smell can linger in a car forever!


mathira 4 years ago

Less of perfume is always better than soaking yourself in perfume. Good one weestro.


albertsj profile image

albertsj 4 years ago from Pittsfield, Ma

Thank you for writing this. I have grown to detest perfume/cologn because I am so sick of gagging over the overwhelming...uh...taste almost. Al I like is just light & clean. Excellent hub. Voting up & awesome.


Robin Oatley profile image

Robin Oatley 4 years ago

Great hub! People who wear too much perfume can be so annoying. Especially when they come and sit next to you while on public transport. I mean, what do you do?! Do you stand up and just go and sit somewhere else? That is kind of rude. But then again the person with the perfume was the rude one in the first place. Dilemmas..


iamaudraleigh 4 years ago

LOL...great hub...so true!!!


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

LOL, sometimes you can taste it albertsj!

I know what you mean Robin, I work at an office, sometimes it can be unbearable!

Thanks iamaudraleigh!

Thanks for reading guys!


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

Another sign you're wearing too much perfume: The person next to you on the airplane has a severe asthma attack & they have to land before the destination.

I've gotten to the point of hating scents, and I used to never go out without my perfume. But some people apparently fill their bathtubs with it. Perfume should not be strong enough for people 10 or 20 feet away to smell it. Just strong enough for that person whispering in your ear to wonder what is tantalizing him.

Voted up and useful.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

That would have to be the worst...there's no where to go! Thanks for reading and commenting!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I can't handle harsh perfume smells, it gets in my sinuses and takes forever to leave. Ewww!! If people just use water to shower instead of perfume or cologne we would all be better off.


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

I agree, soap and water can work wonders!

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