Hints that it's Time to Find a New Band

Some bands last a long time - The Rolling Stones, for example - and some bands don't.  When I was in bands, their average lifespan was less then a year.  Sometimes it was less than a month.  Sometimes it was one rehearsal. 

How, bucko, can you know when it's time to find a new band?  Well, here's some helpful hints. 

It might be time to find a new band if: 

  • You are the only one who still shows up for rehearsals
  • You are the only one who still shows up for gigs
  • There are no gigs
  • The rest of the band decides it would rather stay in the garage and not do gigs
  • You are a horn player, and the keyboard player has just purchased a keyboard that produces excellent electronic horn sounds
  • You are a horn player, and the band starts to do gigs without the horn section
  • You are a horn player
  • The female vocalist (known in the biz as the 'chick singer') who was formerly in a relationship with the guitarist is now in a relationship with the drummer. 
  • The female vocalist who was formerly in a relationship with your band leader is now in a relationship with the leader of some other band, but still singing with your band. 
  • The female vocalist is in a relationship with the entire band. 
  • The female vocalist, previously not in a relationship with anyone in the band, is now in a relationship with any member of the band
  • The otherwise all-male band has a female vocalist
  • You are a female vocalist
  • You are a vocalist
  • You are the only male in a metal band otherwise comprised of lesbians - unless you just plain don't talk at all and look somewhat like a girl
  • You hear that part of the band did a gig without some other part of the band
  • You hear, not from anyone in the band, that the band did a gig without you
  • Your band decides to go on the road and you realize that you can't stand these people
  • Your band decides to go on the road and doesn't tell you
  • Your band cannot keep a bass player
  • The band leader tells you, pointedly, "We're moving in a new direction." 
  • Mostly the band leader tells you, "Lay out." 
  • You repeatedly find after each set that someone has unplugged your instrument
  • The band repeatedly gives you the wrong address for the gig
  • The band keeps gigs secret from you
  • The band keeps rehearsals secret from you
  • The band changes its name and leaves town without you
  • The band files a restraining order against you

More by this Author


Comments 15 comments

Kushal Poddar profile image

Kushal Poddar 7 years ago from Kolkata,India

Your sense of humor is great. I love reading you.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Kushal!


Am I dead, yet? 7 years ago

xD Laugh Out Loud! Tom, this is truly helpful. I am certain the chick singer would have some problems if the band members rotate amongst each other and most a definitive clue as you so stated 'when the band decides to go on tour' and not tell you, yeah, that would pretty much sum it up for me. This list is a must have for those interested in joining a band. xD = ROFL


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

And I learned this stuff the hard way, AIDY. LOL


Candie V profile image

Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

LOL! I would say a "restraining order" is a dead give-away! Oh, to be a female lead singer! You forgot about a member of the band finding a "Yoko Ono".. LMAO!


AsherKade profile image

AsherKade 7 years ago from Texas

God that's great....most people think I'm crazy for listening to 70's-80's music! The reasons are similiar to the ones you listed in this hub....


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Oh, ya, Candie. A nightmare come true: an integral member of the band brings in a wife who is personally powerful AND a bad singer. My.

AsherKade, thank you. The old man feels vindicated.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

LOL Tom...I love this...so much is true.....we had a one legged drummer....called him "Hopsticks" Thanks! :)


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

We had a tuba player instead of a bass player in one band. It was actually pretty cool, though :0)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

My band went through a whole lot of players over the years. I enjoyed reading your witty take on things. Thanks!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Every band is a cast of characters, isn't it?


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

Oh man! I am writing a book about that very subject. 20 years of crazy band mates on the road.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

The business attracts crazies and reinforces their behavior.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Ha,ha! I'll be sure to be on the look out for any of these sure signs if I start a band. But do I really have to do without the female singer?


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States Author

Christoph, whereas a "chick singer" can be a liability and a destabilizing factor, an actual, educated, proficient, genuinely talented female vocalist is an asset and anchor. Downside? The "chick singer" might be a lot more fun in the short term :0)

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working