How to Open a Door
You May Enter!
Recently, it has come to my attention that some folks have not mastered one of the most basic tasks we face in our society: opening a door. Yes, I know, I was pretty surprised to learn this was an issue, too. It turns out, people are pretty baffled about doors. As if doors are not bad enough, some even have locks. Well, that is just too much. The charitable part of me has decided to help everyone out with some important (snarky) tips on how to open a door.
Pull or Push?
So you go to an establishment and you encounter one of these pesky door situations. The time has come for you to open the door, or stand around and look silly until someone else goes in or out.
First of all, does the door have a knob? Does it have a handle? What about one of those bars you push down on? Wow, so many options, so little time. If you see a bar that says "push," well you are in luck. Most of the work is already done for you. Go right ahead and push that bad boy. You are opening that door with the best of them. If the door has a knob, try turning it. If it has a handle, see if you need to turn it or push a button. Yes, I know, this is the most complex of all the scenerios, but you can do it!
Once you've got a handle on that (get it... handle on that? Never mind.) you are on your way to opening the door. If you push in the door and it does not move, trying pulling the door instead. If you pull the door and have no success, instead try pushing. It is OK to make some mistakes at first. However, if you've been using the same door for years, you might not want to admit to anyone that you don't have the whole process down yet.
In Case Doors Just Are Not Working Out For You:
Automated Doors - What's Up With That?
Automated doors are just like something from the future, aren't they? It is just like being on an episode of Star Trek or something. I am just waiting for Scotty to beam me up. I mean, seriously, what's next?
Just remember, automated doors sometimes open slowly. I understand you might get super enthused and try to run through the door. This is not a good idea! Calm down and wait for the door to open. Furthermore, you might want to make sure you don't run into anyone else since you are excited about this technology. After all, what a great germ-free way to enter stores without touching doors.
Revolving Doors - Are They Designed By Satan?
As it turns out, revolving doors seem to be the most evil of all doors. Revolving doors are installed in many public locations. For some reason, many museums and office buildings enjoy torturing visitors with revolving doors.
The easiest way to handle a revolving door situation is to stand back and watch others first. See what type of pace everyone is going and then just join right on in there. Make sure not to jump in if someone else is already in there. That is super creepy and probably dangerous. Don't go too fast and don't go too slow; just keep it moving. Once you get inside the building, make sure to exit. It is a bad idea to remain inside the revolving doors and just walk in circles for a while. Don't be afraid - jump out when you get a chance.
Remember that using revolving doors is not a team experience. Step in and keep moving, but you don't need to go as a team. Basically, just one person should be between the doors at any given time, unless you are carrying a small child. In all honestly, revolving doors are fairly evil, so I am not sure why they still exist. But since they do still exist, it is best to teach your children not to fear them at a young age. Encourage the child to stay in your arms with you and once the child is a little older, the time has come to let him give it a go on his own. Just pretend it is a fun-filled adventure and your child will be happy to see revolving doors in the future.
Unlock the Door - Unlock Your Future!
What is waiting for you outside that door? Who knows? The adventures are just about to begin for you. But remember, you need to unlock the door before you leave your home. Also, you will want to lock the door behind you when leaving. You don't want anyone stealing your stuff, right? I know, I know, so much responsibility! Let's talk about locking and unlocking doors.
Many homes have one or two locks on the door. If you live in certain areas, you might have 6 locks on the door. Umm... you might want to just stay in. But for the rest of us, unlocking the door is an essential start to the journey. First, you are going to need your key with some locks. You might be lucky enough to have a deadbolt that just turns; if so, you can skip the rest of this paragraph. Next, insert the key in the lock. And then... turn! If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Some locks are annoying and you have to learn a trick to jiggling the lock. After a while, you will be an unlocking pro!
Once you've made it out the door, turn around! Make sure to now lock the door before you leave all your cool stuff behind. When you return, you will do this process all over again, but in reverse. If you are having a tough time with this process because the lock simply won't work, perhaps you need to mention it to your landlord or if you own the property, it might be time to replace the lock.
Car Doors - Are They ALL Childproof?
Car doors are probably the most evil doors on the planet. If it is your car, eventually you will learn all the tricks to your driver's side door. You might have the cool car door opener or you might need a key. You might even crawl through the window that is always rolled down. Hey, we don't all have the luxury of working car doors and windows!
If you are getting into someone else's car, make sure that person has already clicked to unlock the doors. You look totally ridiculous impatiently pulling the handle when the whole car is locked. So stop doing that! Once the doors are unlocked, you usually pull up on the handles. If you can't get in on a couple of tries, find out if the door has a child safety lock. There is no use in looking foolish if you could not possibly get the door to open no matter what.
The worst time to forget how doors work...
Please Note the Exit Doors
Now that we are almost through, it is time to discuss exit doors. In some stores, exiting is the same as entering. You just need to make sure you kindly open the door for anyone entering the establishment the same time you are leaving. That is simply polite.
If there are separate doors, please use the exit door to exit just like you used the enter door to enter. It might seem simple, but apparently this task presents quite a challenge for many folks. So just remember, with a little patience, you can open and close doors with the best of them! I am so proud (and surprised!) anyone has made it this far in this groundbreaking tutorial. Now, go out there and open some doors!
Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle
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