Zombie's : Nature's Brat

Over the years, Zombies have been known to be quite a nuisance. While not many people encounter Zombies in their life time, there are an unfortunate number of people that do. I, myself, have been one of the lucky ones to have never had to deal with one of these paranormal beings. I have however, researched ways to repel Zombies and some things that Zombies don't like.

Zombies are not really that predominate in the U.S.A. now-a-days, but photo evidence does show that some exist. The last Zombie sighting was actually in Hollywood, which really disturbed everyone. People didn't know what to do as usual and they panicked. The Zombie was appeased by being granted a contract to make music. It's a risk that we, as Americans will have to live with for a long time. See picture to the right.

Rob, you Zombie you, go eat some brussell sprouts and leave us Americans alone.
Rob, you Zombie you, go eat some brussell sprouts and leave us Americans alone.

1rst Tip to get rid of Zombies

First off, everyone that has a Zombie bothering them should know that Zombies absolutely hate classical music. Anything like Beethoven or some good old Mozart should do the trick. Scientists say that the music reminds them of their past life because it was the music that was predominant when they were alive.

2nd Tip to get rid of Zombies

Secondly, Zombies are actually scared of orange-beaked finches. The small stature of a finch frightens the Zombie. He thinks it is an evil being that wants to make a nest in his wrappings. The shrills chirps of the finch also bother the Zombie. So if you want to make sure that Zombies stay out of your house, this is a great way to do it.

3rd Tip to get rid of Zombies

The third thing that can repel a Zombie is brussell sprouts. They can't stand them. The reason for this is because Zombies are actually nothing but spoiled brats. When they were living their parents always made them eat their brussell sprouts at the dinner table. Be aware though, if you encounter a Zombie, you don't want to be holding the brussell sprout, as they hate them so much that whenever they see them they take and stomp on them until they turn to mush. The interesting thing about that though, is that after they finish stomping the brussell sprout to mush, they always get a wet cloth and clean it up. That's right, Zombies are OCD clean freaks. In fact they always carry hand sanitizer with them.

4th Tip to get rid of Zombies

The fourth and maybe most effective way to keep a Zombie away from you is to act as if you are a hippie. Hippies are Zombies worst fear. They hate hippies because whenever appearing to hippies, they don't get scared. Hippies always think they are tripping when they see a Zombie and quickly address the Zombie as "Hey Toilet Paper Dude". This really angers the Zombie. Zombies are also somehow unable to get away from hippies whenever encountering them, as the hippies always want the Zombie to stick around and play hacky sack with them and make sculptures out of sticks they find in their back yards. I know what you are thinking; Why doesn't the Zombie just eat the hippies brains and kill them? It's not that simple you see. Hippies actually don't have brains. Who'd have thunk it? That's right. Years of abusive drug use have dissentegrated the hippies brains into virtual crumbs. Even though you may not be a hippie, a Zombie would not take a chance to approach you.

5th Tip to get rid of Zombies

Wow everybody. This is a new tip I just discovered  on how to get rid of Zombies. Since I first wrote this information, I have come in contact with a Zombie. I know, it's unbelievable, but true. The Zombie said his name was Al Gore, but I don't believe that was his name. It was probably just a name he made up. I was able to easily get him to go away without even trying. I was merely sitting on a park bench when he approached me and I don't guess he noticed what I was doing at first. After he rambled nonsense, he eventually looked down and saw I was holding a book in my hands. After he realize it was by Dr. Seuss, he ran off screaming, "Al no like big words. Al no like big words". At first I didn't realize, but figured out that it must have been the book. Zombie's must not like to read. So remember this helpful tip. It has been one of the easiest ways I could ever think of.

Even though none of these tips will help you kill a Zombie, they will definitely help keep them away from you. I recognize everyone's right to live and do not condone killing any living being. However, some of you probably don't feel the same. So if you really must know the best way to kill a Zombie, the only advice I can give you is video games. You can kill thousands of Zombies in Video Games. Resident Evil, Blade and Night of the Living Dead are some examples. Well I hope this information has helped and my thoughts are with you in your quest to rid yourself of your Zombie if you have one bothering you.

If you are not a member of Hubpages, go ahead and Sign Up now. It's fast, free and best of all can make you money. If you are having troubles figuring out how to make money off of hubpages visit my how to guide.

More by this Author

  • Aliens in the Bible
    15

    One of the greatest mysteries of all time whether or not there are other life forms other than humans in our universe. I'm not saying that I believe in them, but the evidence I am about to show you will definitely make...

  • How I lost 30 lbs in 30 days
    21

    It seems everyone nowadays is trying to find easy ways to lose weight. The problem is, that's it's not as easy as most would like it to be. Everyone wants that magical pill or weight loss video. Many marketers have made...

  • Insider Secrets of DirecTV
    16

    DirecTV insider secrets If you are reading this, you have just stumbled upon some information that you will not find anywhere else on the internet. I am a former employee of DirecTV and have many tips on how you can...


Comments 8 comments

poetvix profile image

poetvix 6 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

Ok you made me laugh in the real...time to get serious... brussell sprouts time... leave all over the place and I get free zombie cleaning and then I can simply drive them out of the house w/ Mozart :). This is every woman's dream!


Fenixfan profile image

Fenixfan 6 years ago from Mississippi Author

Glad I could brighten your day with a ridiculous hub.


libby101a profile image

libby101a 6 years ago from KY

This was hilarious! Thanks for the humor!


BaseCharity profile image

BaseCharity 6 years ago from www.BaseCharity.com

Hilarious hub!


NikiiLeeReyes 6 years ago

Ahahaha!!!! That is all I have to say ^^


@MagicBoy profile image

@MagicBoy 6 years ago from Qatar

Very funny, kept me giggling all the way through..Cheers


Helen Bolam profile image

Helen Bolam 6 years ago from South Shields

Great Hub. After recently watching Day of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Zombieland, Night of the Living Dead, shooting them in the head isn't the only thing to kill off a zombie. I can also recommend "Shaun of the Dead" and "28 Days Later". But that's just me plugging a couple of British flicks. Keep up the good work.


backword_65 profile image

backword_65 6 years ago

LOL, very clever and thoughtful. P.S. I love Zombies, especially the Al Gore reference. HAHA

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working