So August 5th is the first Hubbie Awards. What a wonderful idea. I'm going to use this Hub to shamelessly campaign for an award.
It just so happens that August 15th is my birthday. What a nice present an award would be.
Why I Should Win
I'll list the awards and give my best speech on why I should win.
Best All-Around Hubber
Of course I think that all my material is the best. However, this being the first ever award, I think it should go to someone who has been around longer and contributed more material.If anyone wants my vote, I can be bought. Just kidding. Buying votes is illegal in Hubland too.
Best All-Around Hub
I vote for my "Socks Are Really Space Aliens" hub. This hub is both informative and brings to light the serious threat that Socks pose to the safety of mankind. You may think this Hub is the ramblings of a nut, but you must admit, it all makers sense.
Forum King and Forum Queen
Not very active in forums so I guess I can't BS my way to this award.
Most Likely to Become a Millionaire
My hub, "If I Were To Rob A Bank", should explain why I should get serious consideration for this award. Let's get real. If I were to rob a few banks, I'm sure I could become a millionaire. It's a matter of simple math.
If I have to rely on my earnings here, then I'm not even in the running. However, It doesn't specify how to become a millionaire, just who is most likely.
Most Political Hubber or Most Religious Hubber
Politics and Religion aren't my thing. So I'll step aside on this one.
Everything I do is funny. I live for humor. I find people falling down funny. Everything I write I try to interject some humor. Even my profile picture is funny. If there is such a thing as a sure thing, then this is it! I should start writing my acceptance speech now.
Best HubPages Poet
I ain't got no time to make my stuff rhyme.
Best HubPages Fiction Writer
I guess I won't get this award. Everything I write is true. At least in my sick little world. Oh well, somone else will take this award home.
Most Likely to have Hubs Go Viral
Again I won't qualify for this. None of my Hubs contain any viruses. Therefore, my Hubs are safe to read and will not harm your computer. They may harm your brain, but not your computer.
Don't call me stupid! I know this means passed around the net. I'm being funny. Remember I want the Funniest Hubber award.
Best HubPages Teacher
Damn! Another category I don't stand a chance of winning. Guess I could throw a Hail Mary out there. 2+2 = 4. There, I taught you something. Hope it's enough to get votes.
Most Cheerful Hubber
Trust me, I'm cheerful. Here's my cheer.
Hubpages, HubPage Rah Rah Rah
HubPages, HubPages Sis Boom Bah
Most Supportive Hubber
I have to be one of the most supportive Hubbers. I wrote about underwear and bras. They are the pillars of support. If I need to write about Jock Straps to win I will. Someone just let me know!
Most Helpful Hubber
I've answered a lot of questions here. Some were short precise answers, while others were in Hub form. I'm guessing that my answers have improved the lives of many people. The world is a far better place due to my helpfulness.
Best HubPages Community Activist
Already know it's not me, so I'll move on.
Best HubPages Avatar
They say a picture is worth one thousand words. Just look around and tell me who has the best.
HubPages Class Clown
I know I said I was funny, but I'm no clown! No funny hair, shoes, pants or nose. Wait, I am a clown! I dress like that everyday! Alright, more votes coming my way!
Most Likely to Become a HubPages Employee
You mean I'm doing this for free? Forget about hiring me, I'm looking to retire not get another job. I'll pass on this award.
Most Likely to be Banned from the Forums
Can't be considered for this award. I've banned myself. It's less painful then allowing someone else to do it.
Most Interesting Hub
This is a trick category. All my Hubs are interesting. They are like train wrecks. You know it won't be pretty, but you just have to look!
Most Useful Hub
Again, most of my Hubs are useful. I'd nominate "Holding Your Girls Purse In Public". It puts at ease a very embarrassing situation. However, the majority of my Hubs come from questions other Hubbers ask. So, aren't all my Hubs useful?
Most Beautiful Hub
Like I said earlier, my Hubs are train wrecks. beautiful train wrecks, but train wrecks for sure. (Note to self. Think about using train wrecks as a keyword. I've used it enough.)
Most Informative Hub
"Creative ways To Inform The World You Farted". This Hub is full of useful information on how to let others know of your gas contribution. You can fart all day and never announce it the same way. Naturally, I'm the author. I know a little about farts.
Most Awesome Hub
All my hubs are awesome. Don't believe me? Check it out yourself!
"My Breast Jokes is my funniest. Why? Because it's just jokes. Jokes are funny. So to have a Huib of nothing but jokes, it has to be the funniest.
That's My Story And I'm Stickin To It!
So those are the reasons you should vote for me. If I should win an award, I'll lower taxes, cure cancer and put a chicken in every pot. Should I not win, I'll throw the biggest temper tantrum you have every seen. Kicking, crying, screaming and thrashing about. I will sink into the deepest depression and may never crawl out of my dark space. That's my story and I'm stickin to it!