I Don't Have An Ass, A Cock Or A Pussy. But I Do Have A Bitch And Her Brother!

Look what you have started rocknjoe! I loved your hub Please Rate My Wife's Naked Chest after it was brought to my attention by B.T. who's hub If You See My Wifes Ass Grab It came out to pay homage your work. Then the lovely mistyhorizon blew me away with her hub "I Want You To Play With My Pussy " (no longer published) and I just had to get involved. I know this is a bit of a stretch from the brilliance of your topics but I'm going to give it a whirl.

So I created this hub to tell you all about my bitch. My bitch can be frisky and even a bit playful sometimes but even then she is still a bitch. You don't want to get on the wrong side of my bitch although I think her bark is worse than her bite. She has been know to snap at you if you take her by surprise but I think that's just the kind of nervous bitch she is.

I know many of you don't really care for bitches but there are many reasons I like to have my bitch around the house. She keeps me company when I'm alone in the house, although I will say that I usually have to give her my full undivided attention or she will not get out of my face. My bitch gets easily excited but I can usually calm her down by giving her something, you know the whole throw the dog a bone thing. Another good reason for having a bitch around is that they are overly protective. If a stranger walks by the house, no matter what time it is, you better look out. If my bitch hears them she will let them know to stay away. Nobody barks like my bitch. I suppose my bitch can be loving too although I get the feeling it's all about her getting what she wants more than her feelings for me. You know the kind, bitches that are always looking to get praise or demand to be stroked. My bitch is hairy too and sometimes smells terrible. But I'm not allowed to say anything or she might get her feelings hurt. I think the worst thing about my bitch is that her hair falls out all the time. My bitch is a natural blond and everywhere you go in the house there is this short blond hair. I clean it up and an hour later a pile of hair from my bitch is there again. I don't know what to do. It's not like I can get rid of her. That would be too upsetting to her brother. Don't even get me started about him!

Yes I have a bitch and her brother in my house and they think a lot alike. I'll tell you life with them both is interesting. They fight like cats and dogs! I have learned a few things since they came into my life like, don't leave a pair of brand new Oakley sunglasses on the counter. For some reason they thought I left the Oakleys out for them to play with so they grabbed them off the counter and broke them. Actually it looked more like they tried to cover it up because I found them buried in the yard. And I've learned not to leave food out because they are hungry all the time. And they will eat anything. The bitch seems to like bananas while her brother loves chocolate. I know chocolate isn't good for him but he loves it anyway and will go to great lengths to get to it even if I hide it from him.

Besides the hair and the property damage and not being able to bathe themselves and all of the eating and then pooping whenever and wherever they want, (Not going there) I guess it's not so bad having them around. My wife loves the bitches brother, he's her favorite. But they both bring joy to our family and I guess after 3-1/2 years they have become part of it. We go on long walks together and they never fight or talk back while we are out so that's nice. We go to the sand dunes and go riding and they have a great time running around in the wide open space and playing with my sister's bitch. So all in all I guess life with a bitch and her brother in the house isn't so bad. But don't tell my wife, she thinks I don't like having the bitch or her brother in the house. That way she thinks I'm doing her a favor by letting her keep them.

So by now you have obviously figured out that I am talking about my two dogs, Savanna (the bitch) and Cooper (the brother). They are pure bred Yellow Labs that we've had since they were six weeks old and are the loves of my wife's life. I have included many pictures on my hub so I hope you like them.

To the wonderful writers of the hubs I mentioned at the beginning, I salute all three of you. My writing pales in comparison but I will continue to study your work and strive to be as clever and funny as you some day. Enjoy!

Jim B


Source

The Bitch and Her Brother

Cooper and Savanna Six Weeks Old and The Newest Additions To Our Family.
Cooper and Savanna Six Weeks Old and The Newest Additions To Our Family.
They love to play together.
They love to play together.
They are very close and have to sleep touching each other most of the time.
They are very close and have to sleep touching each other most of the time.
Even when they were pups they were very close.
Even when they were pups they were very close.
Cooper loves the water.
Cooper loves the water.
He had to sleep under the table when he was a pup. This was how we found him the day we picked them up from the breeder.
He had to sleep under the table when he was a pup. This was how we found him the day we picked them up from the breeder.
Their favorite thing to do, Swim. They would swim all day if we let them.
Their favorite thing to do, Swim. They would swim all day if we let them.

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Comments 43 comments

Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Thought this was coming! LOL By the way, don't you keep your bicth (and her brother) on a leash?


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

I'll trade you bitches.


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 7 years ago from Hell, MI

At least your bitch is cute. My wife's ass is old, fat, and covered with gray hair! But now that it's gone, I really do miss it. Treat your bitch well, or you will end up in the doghouse, like me!


rockinjoe profile image

rockinjoe 7 years ago from Standing right behind you!

I surrender. Great hub. I can't wait to see what's next.


Kulsum Mehmood profile image

Kulsum Mehmood 7 years ago from Nagpur, India

Lovely bitch. Lovely her brother.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Sorry all I published kinda late and had to get some sleep.

cris-my bitch goes anywhere she wants. The only time I can ever get a leash on her is when she wants to go out in public.

goldentoad-I'm not sure but isn't that illegal? :)

B.T.-Your wife's ass is a bit gray but from the picture it still looked like a fine ass. I hope you get it back soon.

rockinjoe-no need to surrender, you've been around here way longer than me. I am just riding on the coattails of your success. Thanks again for starting it all.

Kulsum-yes I suppose my bitch and her brother could be called lovely. My wife will be happy to know someone else agrees with her.

Thank you all for your comments.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Wonderful hub Jim, I am totally into your bitch, and both of your cute dogs are adorable and I could play with them for hours.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

That's one of your best qualities misty, your playfulness. One thing though, if you come to play with my dogs you might want to leave your pussy at home they might try to eat it. Thanks for the nice comment and your great hub too.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

I do find it kind of annoying the way everyone keeps trying to eat my pussy I have to admit. :)


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Now I'm blushing. I tried to word it differently and you just come and put it right out there. Awesome!


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

Great hub - lots of fun - cheers.....


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Thanks ajcor.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

No worries Jim, most people I know are attracted to my furry little critter, but that is the problem with having such an adorable pussy. :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

What a lovely bitch. And her brother ain't bad either (I swing both ways -- like a bi-caninual--so I can appreciate both!).


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

misty-So many things I want to say but at this point I can't make sense of them all in my head. Suffice it to say that I agree that it is an adorable pussy. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Christoph-always nice to meet someone who appreciates my bitch. Her brother is actually a better looking specimen so it's not difficult to be bi-caninial. Thanks for the comment.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Thanks Jim, my pussy is always open to being paid attention by anyone willing to fondle it.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Good to know misty. Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. If I ever feel the need to fondle someones pussy I'll look you up. The pussy's in my area are all kind of old and not very friendly.


KT pdx profile image

KT pdx 7 years ago from Vancouver, WA, USA

Awww...how cute! Great hub. LOL, my pussy loves bitches. Can it come over to play with yours and her brother?


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

I don't know if that's such a great idea. As I stated earlier my bitch and her brother might try to eat your pussy and you don't want that, do you? That would be like two on one. :)


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 7 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

Great hub, Labradors make fantastic pets, especially around kids. The bitch is always better. BTW if the grow up together, sometimes pussies are quite safe around them, depends on there territory.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

You are right Rodney, Labs do make fantastic pets. They have always been really protective of our kids but especially the bitch. If she hears a loud noise outside, she'll run outside to see what it is and then run back inside to make sure the family is okay. It's pretty awesome to witness. I'm sure you are right about them growing up together but my wifes just not into the whole pussy thing.

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate everyone reading my hubs. Check out my other ones if you get a chance. Especially the ones about my wife and my hub score.


KT pdx profile image

KT pdx 7 years ago from Vancouver, WA, USA

I grew up with a very protective bitch, a mix of other herding breeds (Australian shepherd, golden retriever). She was like Nana in Peter Pan, always watching out for us kids, making sure we were ok, telling my parents if anything was the matter. She kept us away from the road, herding us back towards the yard if we got close.

It's really funny, my pussy Tabby absolutely loves dogs! I took her to a pet expo and the first thing she did was get down and play with an Aussie shep pup! She was the first cat the puppy had ever seen, and he did an immediate "play bow" when he saw her, then they ran around having fun! It really just depends on personality. Also at that pet expo, there were goldens and labs who were guide dogs (almost done with their training) at one of the booths, and Tabby jumped out of my arms when she saw them, went over and sat underneath one of them! The dog kept on glancing under her, like "Is that cat still there? What in the world is it doing sitting under me?"


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Sounds like a really cool pussy. Interesting how the bitches are so protective, huh? Thanks for the story and for commenting on my hub.


Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

very cool pussy


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

mistyhorizon2003-I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say this comment is for you but thanks for taking the time to comment Lgali. I see you everywhere and I think it's very cool that you leave comments to everyone.


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 7 years ago from West Virginia

This is good! Your Bitch and her brother are the cutest!!


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Thank you so much Lady G. We like them.


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong

I like the bitch, but not her brother. But which is which? I mean, which is the bitch?


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Benson-The bitch is actually not as nice as her brother. Afterall she is a bitch and they tend to be a bit slimmer than the males. The bitch is the skinnier of the two. She has a smaller head. Thanks for reading.


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong

Dear Jim,

I got you. I also have a dog of the fairer sex. I certainly know which is the bitch. I just liked the rhyme and had to use it, as I rarely come up with one.

cheers.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Gotcha Benson. Sorry I'm a bit slow sometimes. Thanks for hanging out and reading my Hubs.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

I like the bitch in the pool. Hot.


Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

Wonderful hub Jim, I like your bitch


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Hello again Tom. Nice to see you again. Yes she was extra hot that day.

Thanks Lgali. Are you into bitches?


Wednesday Morning profile image

Wednesday Morning 7 years ago

Nice bitch. I have a black bitch. She's absolutely perfect!


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

My dad had a black bitch once. He told me he would never get anything else. So I guess what they say is true, once you go black...you'll never want another kind of hunting dog again(or something like that) :)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Thats a beautiful bitch you got there.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 7 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Hey thanks gwendymom. How very nice of you to notice :)


patdmania profile image

patdmania 5 years ago from waterford, mi

Love the title! I had to read your hub as soon as i seen it. Very cute bitches!


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 5 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Thanks patdmania! we think so too.


4tune profile image

4tune 5 years ago from Michigan

OMG I love this hub too funny, and cute dogs too.


Jim Batuyong profile image

Jim Batuyong 5 years ago from Anaheim, CA Author

Hey thanks 4tune. They are hairy pains in the butt sometimes but we like them.

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