I Love Cutting My Grass – NOT!

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If there is anything I hate more in this world other than mowing the lawn, it has to be weed whacking. Living in Florida, where the turf is forever green, and forever growing, for me the task is a constant nightmare.

Now, I know of a few people that love that yard backbreaking work, and to that I say “more power to you,” but as for me? No thank you! I’d rather be doing something else than cutting grass in humid, mosquito-swarming-97-degree weather. If the sun and humidity doesn’t kill you, the mosquitoes will. And let’s not forget those nasty little wasps and fire ants that are hiding their nests in areas you need to work in, ready to strategically go in for the kill at the slightest disturbance of their habitat.

Many years ago when I bought my house, I looked at my slopping front yard and ample backyard of my property and figured, well if it means that my child will have a good size front and backyard to run and play, then it’s worth the work. I decided to fence it because I did not want my pets to wander off and it would keep both, my child and my dogs safely on their property, but little did I know that this was not going to end up as planned.

Rainy season would begin around May and would run for what seemed months. The grass will literally grow an inch a day after the daily rains; however, the grass is not so much the problem as the weeds are. Weeds like to crawl up your fence and grow in areas where a lawn mower cannot go. That’s a job for the weed whacker or a strong arm that can pull and pull weeds until one drops. Since my yard is big, the weed whacker got the job. Some have suggested spraying toxic cancer-causing weed killer, but I was hesitant to use these with a child and pets running all over the yard.

Therefore, I set out to find an economical lawn mower and weed whacker at the local home improvement store. After seeing all the options, price being a determinant, I chose an economical push mower, and boy did I learn that there are certain things you just don’t go the cheap way. If I had to go back to that day, I would have saved a bit more money and would have purchased a self-propelled mower.

I pushed that mower for nine long years! After all the backbreaking work, and the painful knees and arms, I would only manage to lose five pounds each rainy season, only to gain them back around the holidays. I pushed, I mean PUSHED that mower to exhaustion. Then when my son turned twelve, I decided to assign him some of the yard work. I made a deal with him. We would alternate each week. He would do the front yard one week, while I did the backyard. The same with the weed whacking. That seemed to work out just fine until he happily went off to college, a far away college. I’ve often wondered why he left in such a hurry with a peculiar grin on his face.

So, I was left alone to do the job again. I can’t tell you how much I dreaded waking up on the weekends to the sound of the neighbor’s lawnmower. I would lay in my cozy bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling, willing myself to get out of bed before the noon sun begin it’s scorching job. I’d whine and complain while I would put on my mowing uniform: old jogging pants, T-shirt, and sneakers. I’d arm myself with my sunglasses, bug repellant, face mask, a jug of water, and yes, plenty of deodorant.

Two hours later, I would drag myself back into my air-conditioned house, covered in grass clippings and dirt, hair and clothes plastered to my skin from the sweat, and the fresh smell of deodorant has been replaced by eau de toilette Le Stink, a combination of wet-grass odor and an odd monkey smell that kept my dogs away. One sniff and they’d run in the opposite direction sneezing and shaking their heads. The nerve, as if their breaths smelled any better!

The day came when I finally saved enough money to buy myself a riding mower. This purchase was one of the best investments I have ever made. It was like bringing a new baby into the home. I named it “Mom’s Cadillac” and I fell in love with her. Everything ran smooth, well it vibrated and jerked a bit, but I didn’t complain. It also had one flaw, it did not reach corners and areas as the push mower would; therefore, I had to use the weed whacker a whole lot more.

Mom's Cadillac

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http://myfreecopyright.com/registered_mcn/CY2QW-43XAS-G9SB4 | Source

By the time I was done mowing and weed whacking, my back, arms, and legs would be doing their own willful thing while my brain would send unresponsive commands to my body, maybe it was because my brain somehow go disconnected from all the jerking. I would plop on my recliner under a ceiling fan while my legs literally shook from tiredness, and my back, hands and arms would be cramped from holding the heavy weed whacker that constantly broke its string. The next day, you’d think a semi-trailer ran over my body… several times.

Did I mention that a riding mower needs their blades, belts, battery and all sorts of things maintained? I learned that the hard way one summer when it did not want to turn-on. I cried like a baby, as if I had lost a loved one. Meanwhile my grass grew inches by the minute as the City code enforcement officer drove by my house fining me for the tall grass and weeds. After that, I learned very quickly how to maintain my own riding mower, and I pray that it will never die on me again; after all, we are like best friends. Now, if I could only rig my weed whacker to the riding mower, all my problems would be solved.

I look back now remembering all the plans I had for the yard: the fence for privacy and safety, the planting of shade trees, bushes, and beautiful flowers. A wonderful haven for my family where they could frolic and play safely while I sipped my ice tea to the sound of beautiful birds and in the company of beautiful butterflies.

I had imagined myself relaxing in my favorite patio chair, a book in hand, while the wind is blowing through my hair, and then I’m brought back to reality by the sound of all the lawn mowers in the neighborhood and the smell of stinky wet grass and weeds.

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http://myfreecopyright.com/registered_mcn/C2MLD-S2S9R-M9DBY | Source

No, there are no trees, no bushes, and no flowers in my yard, Hurricane Charley and Frances took care of that. The way I look at it is, the less plants and shrubs, the less yard work there is for me. Now only the fence remains. A fence that is a magnet for weedy vines. As to providing a yard where my son and dogs would play, my son never liked to play in his yard. As to the dogs? I spent more time chasing the dogs after they dug under the fence than anything else. Now it's just me and my old rickety mower… and the weed whacker. You can say we have a love-hate relationship. I hate them but I couldn’t do without them.

Now I dream of living in a condo with a pool, and lots and lots of concrete surrounding the property, making my lawn-mowing weed-whacking days a thing of the past.



THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY. IF YOU LIKE THIS HUB, PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO VOTE.



©Faithful Daughter

All rights reserved. Any redistribution, reproduction, republishing, rebroadcasting or rewriting of part or all of the contents in any form or manner is prohibited without the express written consent of the author and owner, Faithful Daughter.
All rights reserved. Any redistribution, reproduction, republishing, rebroadcasting or rewriting of part or all of the contents in any form or manner is prohibited without the express written consent of the author and owner, Faithful Daughter. | Source

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Comments 18 comments

optimus grimlock profile image

optimus grimlock 5 years ago

quit crying!!!! I like doing yard work its a good workout! I'm in south fl so I know what you mean.


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

optimus,

lol, no I will not quit crying, and whinning, and complaining. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Maybe you can come by and do mine after doing yours :)


FriendofTruth profile image

FriendofTruth 5 years ago from Michigan

you are so funny! Loved it!

Blessings to you, your mower, your weed whacker, and your lawn:-)


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

FriendofTruth,

Glad to see you again. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Yes, I need all the blessings I can get every weekend when I have to drag myself to do the lawn. I always say a little prayer before I hop on the mower "Lord please let this work today," then I turn on the key with my eyes closed (lol).


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

I feel for you!, having in the past high maintenance yards, all traded for a lush pile of sand and cactus, the way God planted it save for a few transplanted Mesquites and Grease wood bushes, I still get grass popping up from birds? around spots that water drips, maybe from the hay I haul in but poisoning it fast makes it easy. I think living like you a huge roll of plastic and gravel/sand to cover it smothering the grass would be a route for me.

I enjoyed the write and had to smile, I feel your pain, voted up, 50


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Hi 50 Caliber,

You are funny! I’m glad you enjoyed my ranting. Thanks for the vote.

I wish I could do as you suggested with the roll of plastic and gravel, but the city code in my area will not permit that, otherwise I would have done it years ago. I think the code states we have to have 80% of grass, and it has to be grass mentioned in their city codes, anything else has to have a permit. They are very fastidious about things like this in my area. Meanwhile, I’ll continue to drag my behind every weekend… UGH!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

You said it Daughter: those fire ants are baad news! With the others advising not to use those poisons. Self-propelled is the way to go with large areas but nine years! You really got some exercise and your money's worth.Those Weed-whackers can give the most trouble of all, but ya gotta have em. Thanks for your yard adventures and speaking for a lot of us Faithful Daughter.


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Yes they are Alastar, their stings are terrible, and yes pushing a mower for 9 years left me with some hefty (sore) muscles. I try to keep my ridding mower working as best as possible because I dread having to go back to a push mower. From one mower to another, thanks for stopping by.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

I like mowing my front yard and then I am over it. So I cough up the 25 dollars or my son in law does it for me. I am using that time to write. Bless you in that Florida heat.


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Hyphenbird,

Count your blessings if you have someone else to do it. I had two kids doing it and they quit their first week. The professional guys want too much money for doing half of what I do. So, I'm stuck doing the lawn for a while longer. Between my full time job and all the weekend chores, my schedule is full, leaving me with very little time for enjoyment. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

Faithful Daughter! This was so much fun to read! Voted up, up and away!


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Thanks Dexter,

This was an attempt to add humor to a very tedious chore. I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the vote.


Becky 5 years ago

I got tired of the weed whacker and planted cement under the fence. Weeds no longer entwine in the fence. Then I got tired of the corners, so I put plastic and covered it with redwood chips. Put a few rose bushes in with the chips. The plastic is edged with concrete. The concrete is all level with the ground so I can mow right over it. Now I sit on my riding mower and mow it all. Never have to do anything but replace the plastic every couple of years.


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Becky,

Great idea! Unfortunately, I have a very large yard and it will take a lot of cement. I've thought about doing this at one time when my dogs kept digging under the fence. Then I thought about laying down a weed blocker and rocks, but again it was costly and would take a ton of rocks for my size yard. But the plastic and redwood chips around the perimeter of the fence is a great idea. I'm going to have to try that. I don't know if it will help with the weeds that want to climb up the fence though, but I'm willing to give anything a try. Thanks for the suggestions.


PoweroftheCross profile image

PoweroftheCross 5 years ago from Above and Beyond...

I love your artwork. I just love your illustrations, they are so cute. Your writing is too entertaining. I felt every beat of your angst. Love this and voted up.


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 5 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Thank you PoweroftheCross,

I'm glad you enjoyed the hub and my attempt at drawing cartoons. I try to find humor in the things I like the least; I find it helps me to deal with it. Also, thanks for the vote.


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

I'd rather do the grass than plow the snow. Well, because I hate the cold weather! It's just me! :)

Very creative though, words and illustrations combined.

Up and funny!


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 2 years ago from Sunny Florida Author

Thanks CrisSp. I guess we all have our pet peeves. My son rather mow the lawn than vacuum... go figure! I rather do anything BUT mow (lol). Too bad he already moved out and has his own place, otherwise he'd be mowing right about now :)

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