I will dispel another old TV show myth
if you grew up when I did, back when the dinosaurs roamed more or less, you watched shows like The Brady Bunch, The Addams Family, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, and a bunch of others. Myself, being a kid, I loved those shows, but I had a lot of questions. Stand-up comics seem to have had the same kind of questions about 'em. Logical ones.
Why the hell did Darren have a problem that his wife was a witch? He could quit his stupid advertising job and she could wiggle her nose and they could move to Costa Rica. What's his problem again? Endora, the mother-in-law? Paul Lynde?
Jeannie needed to be hidden because she called that astronaut dude "Master" and could make wishes come true? Was he insane?
Mr. Ed could talk and no one asked for a press conference?
The Addams family had a great marriage, who cared what the neighbors think? They all seemed happy.
For a three hour cruise, how come most of the Minnow's guests brought a wardrobe to last a couple of months?
Ok, these questions have been asked and pondered, but I have one other. I have never heard a stand-up comic ask this one. If I'm wrong please lemme know. Ok, here goes.
To quote "The Beverly Hillbillies" theme song:
Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin' at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin' crude.
Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.
Well the first thing you know ole Jed's a millionaire,
Kinfolk said "Jed move away from there"
Said "Californy is the place you ought to be"
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.
Wait, wait, wait. Just a minute. Let's look at that again. Ok, the Clampetts are living in squalor-esque sub-Deliverance standards. Then Jed strikes oil, and gets rich. Really rich. Like Donald Trump-rich, at least back in them days.
And what do the kinfolk say?? WTF? Come again? Can we take it from the top?
"Jed move away from there"'??
I can buy the concept of a flying nun, a talking car, a suburban witch, a slave girl living in a genie bottle. You bet.
But relatives of a newly made millionaire that say "Hey, go on, get out of this dump, go to Beverly Hills and build you a cement pond with Granny, your Dr. Doolitte-esque sexpot niece and Jethro your new bodyguard/lesbian magnet. Don't bother buying us indoor plumbing or anything. We'll just stay back here and eat possum and roadkill and enjoy our outhouses....don't pay us no nevermind. We're your own flesh and blood! But you high-falutin' oil baron, now go on and get outta here."
Nope. I'm not buying it. They'd be lined up to Pigeon Forge, with their lame reasons and hands outstretched, asking for dough. If he tried to load up that truck, they'd have shot him.
Am I right?