If I Were A Cantaloupe

FYI

The cantaloupe is sometimes referred to as 'muskmelon', a most august entity, indeed.

cantaloupe |ˈkantlˌōp| (also cantaloupe melon)

noun

a small, round melon of a variety with orange flesh and ribbed skin

ORIGIN, late 18th cent.: from French cantaloup, from CantaluppinearRome, where it was first grown in Europe after being introduced from Armenia.

Well now, let’s examine the inference in that phrase, "If I were a cantaloupe" . . .

It’s a present conditional situation, allowing that whatever I’ve been before or might become later on, or a possible manifestation of what my being is or could be as a cantaloupe. I don’t like to brag, but there are a few things I could tell you about that. I’ll spare you both the ancient history and the grammar lesson.

But let’s not deviate from the present primary premise pirouetting profusely in my cantaloupe brain. I have to mention - well - maybe not that imperative - but I feel the strong need and desire to mention that what’s bothersome in this assigned title (though also willingly chosen) is that it seems to rule out several quite valid possibilities, such as that I may have already been and still may be (oh! here I go again - sorry ‘bout that!) - but picture me being a lovely succulent melon grown in the tropical region of the Texas “Rio Grande Valley” - -

where everyone must know the best and sweetest cantaloupes ARE grown.


Now try to visualize that now I may have, could have, what-fun-it-would-be if I actually had metamorphosed into a silver haired, silver tongued poetess, so that no one is any the wiser about my origins. Never thought of that, did you?

Good.

Otherwise, you’d have stolen my hub story and probably would have written it up better. I must grab the cantaloupe by the - er - ball - and run with it now, if I’m ever to get into cantaloupe elite-ville.


OR - and don’t rule this out: I might even now BE a cantaloupe in disguise as such a silver-haired, silver-tongued person having been through a process of undergoing an extreme DNA upgrade which - in the future - -  

yes, will render me not only said succulent melon, easily taken for a Rio Grande Valley cantaloupe, but such a super-cantaloupe as the world has never beheld or even imagined. Is your credulity stretched sufficiently now to ponder the possibilities, fine Hubber or fair Hubberess?

In any of these cases, however, my cantaloupeness is/would be (if it were/ had been/ will be to become), so much more sophisticated, complicated and amazing than just your typical, run of the mill, everyday cantaloupe, you see, - not to mention straining the average non-Cantaloupian Hubber's credulity and/or comprehensiveness beyond containment.  In fact, my own rind may burst with the thought of it momentarily! Read on. . . .


You need to understand that my seeds are/would be extraordinary. From one measly little slimy seed from the bowels of my round little body, entire barrels of clone-seeds would quickly form, emerge and germinate.

These would be fully capable of being self-sown across the land, being more than enough to cover the whole of South Texas, Mexico and the entire Isthmus down there, and more. No obstacle, natural or man-made would impede this progress.

Cantaglobe

There would soon be lovely vines bearing multitudes of these delicious, round, plump, healthy, moisturizing, beta-carotene-bearing fruits whose insides are so sweet to the palate and immensely habit-forming that the entire dangerous drug industry in all those countries would be put out of business while their former customers craved and sought more cantaloupes! Fortunately for all concerned, the supply would be limitless.


Cantahead

Cantaladdicts would become so sublimely healthy that doctors, pharmacists (and all their rigamarole, including those vile TV ads prompting unsuspecting folks to beg for their risky wares, serious side-effects, notwithstanding) would soon be closing their doors, shut down, out-of-business, kapoot. Hospitals would be open only for new births and old-age cases of the unfortunates who didn’t get a chance to be in on the Cantaloupe Bounty in time. Those who do have access will survive indefinitely. People will be wiser, healthier, stronger, live longer, be funny, sexy, never be be bored, take themselves less seriously and give each other benefit of the doubt.

A diplomatic contingent of these Cantalaheroes will seek out someone named Stan Fletcher in order to confer the highest honors and Nobel Peace Prize upon him. He will be elated to write the world’s most original and popular Ode to a Frog yet ever written. Even the Frog itself will become a prime mover in the Cantaloupe Culture.



Beautiful Cantaloupe Blossom
Beautiful Cantaloupe Blossom


The Cantaloupe Bounty Society will convene to elect national and international leaders who will abolish all the bad stuff, including child labor, childbirth labor, air pollution, diseases and other ugly stuff that has been either bad luck or bad neighbors generated. No blame, no shame, simply vast improvement - even into and including North Korea.  All will simply turn into Cantalophiles.


The permanent Cantaloupe Counsel  will meet as often as needed to review and revise the practical measures, although their major emphasis will be on directing the good stuff, since the bad stuff will quickly become obsolete to the degree that no one will any longer recognize anything about any of it,  - any, none.    


Yegads! I think I’m about to sprout!

Ah. That felt good!! It’s been a load on my chest these many years. Happy Birthdays to me!




Hey - er - please - be gentle with that knife, will you?

Disclaimer . . .

This hub is my silly entry in Stan Fletcher’s latest hub-writing contest, Another Fantabulous Contest, (or words to that effect - go check it out for yoursel!) Vote it up - maybe I’ll win! (wink, wink - sure - maybe the Cowboys will be last minute substitutes for the Packers in the Superbowl, too!)

Check out links below!

If you are entering a hub in the contest, please be sure to enter the key tag, "seattlestan" in the tag area with it, so its link will be added and will appear here and on others' list of entries. Check with Austinstar's comment @ Stan's hub for complete directions about this.

More by this Author


Comments 70 comments

JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

Hi, Nellieanna, the High Priestess of Cantloupia. You have a fertile imagination and a distinctly marvelous way with words. Loved the sibilance....You will be pleased to know that I'm already a Cantaladdict. I'm also an afficionado of all things Texan (well, not the football, which I realize is heresy) as I lived in the Dallas area for eight years and loved it. Texas is like a separate country in the U.S. (which I think native Texans believe). Sorry, I digress. Talking about Texas does that to me. Really enjoyed your glorious entry into Stan's contest. Your prose is quite poetic, so I'll look forward to reading your poetry. JAYE


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, Jaye - sister southern lady. I have some fond memories of Mississippi too. I'm happy that you're a Cantaladdict. Such a good fruit! I have to forgive your football preference, which I'd guess is Ole Miss. Being a real native Texan & having two alma maters in Texas - (SMU and UT in Austin) - I can understand team loyalty. I'm not a rabid sports fan but in a family such as mine, with a palette of alma maters, step-kids all Texan who ARE rabid about Texas teams, but not all family are into southern schools, since my own progeny are a bunch of Hoosiers with a few Buckeyes, - I fully understand sports mania or enthusiasm.

By the way - of course - Texas IS a whole 'nuther country!!!! And I'm proud that you got acquainted with tit. My real roots are in the border areas of Southwest Texas, where I am still very much involved.c It is nothing like Dallas and North Texas.

I had fun with this contest and writing the hub. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it. I've been struggling with a glitch in the way it showed up, but hopefully that has been ironed out now and was not in my system. I look forward to reading your hubs, too!

i hope others will participate in the contest. It's such fun.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

If I were a cantaloupe I would have severe indigestion!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Aw, breatkfkastpop - that is so sad! ;-) Except, of course - since you're not one, there is no indigestion from being one! tee hee.

What do you have for breakfast, then? :-)

Hugs! (if you don't mind being hugged by one!!)


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

I'm glad you are not a cantaloupe, because if you were, you would probably be eaten before you get to read this.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

I don't really want to be a cantaloupe but you seem to have it all figured it out.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

hahahahahaha!!!! Delightful! That is just so funny and cute, ChristopherA. Thank you for making my evening! I'm still smiling. Since the President's State of the Union address is about to be shown "live" on TV, it will nice to enter into it with a lighter heart! ;-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Pamela - ah! But it was just such a nifty opportunity to step outside my usual self and almost rule the world. Hehe. Thanks for reading and commenting!


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

I will always look at cantaloupes differently now - who knows where the silver haired, silver tongued poetess may be hiding! :)


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I got it! Nellieanna, the RSS is trying to parse the line with the odd characters in it - "cantaloupe |?kantl??p| (also cantaloupe melon)cantaloupe |?kantl??p| (also cantaloupe melon)"

which is the first line of your hub (that the RSS sees) it's ok as is and I would just leave it that way. Computers sometimes read odd characters as something different.

This is a cool hub, I'm going to read it now.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Oh, I love your new avatar photo! It's Fantabulous! You sure look great for a cantaloupe.

This hub made me wish I had a sweet Pecos melon right now! I have to wait for Spring, I think. Yum, Yum.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 5 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Now I have a craving for cantaloupe! Was chuckling at the suggestion to be "gentle with the knife".

Voted up of course! :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

hahahaha! Feline Prophet - I just hope it will be a WELCOME sight for you to behold, knowing your overall indifference to poetry! But I also know you like this poetess, so I feel safe! Thank you for the smile (yours and the one it brought to my face) - and complement! Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

But, but - - Austinstar - I fixed it so that the first line was nowhere NEAR the following word-definition which needed parsing! I realized it must have picked them up originally, since they were in the same capsule with the single beginning line. Oh well, I did everything I could think of to fix it.

Well maybe not quite everything. I just noticed that some of the extraneous characters are no longer there and it occurred to me that my first line was not a technically complete sentence and maybe that's the problem. So I fixed that and will see what happens.

A more general question about using RSS entries, though: since I didn't add my own link to the RSS but it materialized anyway, how did the link know to pick it up at all? And will it add other links as more hubs are being written for the contest, or will I need to go back and add each one? Are they being accumulated in one place where they can be gathered up? When Silvergenes sponsered the Halloween writing contest, I didn't enter any of those links on my hub using an RSS capsule setup, but merely added them one by one as separate links, using a link capsule for each one, as I watched and found they'd been written. So I don't know exactly how the intricacies of how RSS capsules work.

When my own link was added to the list without my help here on this RSS capsule, I figured there was something programmed into how you set it up, which caused all additions to be added. I found I had no editing access to my link on the capsule, either, in order to try to fix it, which convinced me that the first link had set it up to continue adding new ones in some way you'd set up.

But if it is up to me to add them as the hubs occur, I could just redo the RSS capsule and add mine so that those odd characters would not be picked up, now that I fixed it so that there is just the one unadorned sentence in its beginning capsule.

Guess maybe I should have read the instructions. LOL. In typical fashion, I just saw what was needed to be done in the RSS capsule itself and let 'er rip! LOL

By the way - I've gotten some very good cantaloupes recently at Fiesta Mart as well as Albertson's. They could be from south of the border, but they are as yummy As Valley ones. Usually I hold off buying any during winter months. They're often disappointing.

Thanks for your help and comments too, not to mention the nice complement. hehe, A real native cantaloupe I am! Born in Del Rio! (My step-grands live in Pfleugerville, just outside of Austin, you know. Also, I lived on campus & completed a semester of graduate work, getting my permanent teaching certification, at UT - back in the dark ages!)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

VioletSun - thank you, m'dear! Well, I don't relish being butchered, cantaloupe or no cantaloupe. hehe. My bod is not nearly so round and padded, nor is my rind so thick and leathery! ;-) Thank you for the delightful response and vote!!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

Wow, that was a bit of a cantaloupe explotion lol.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

OH, dear, hello, hello. Suppose the NAFTPOCTC will come after me? I hadn't thought of that dire possibility!!! hehe Actually I rather thought I was flattering the lowly cultivar by identifying with it. But, yes, I can see your point. Exploiting a poor lower form of life which has no recourse of its own is a rather ghastly deed. But the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, so now it's simply too late for apologies or for withdrawing my blatant exploitation of the poor thang.

Thank you for a hilarious (as well as thought-provoking) comment!


maven101 profile image

maven101 5 years ago from Northern Arizona

Fantastically funny and frivolous, full of metaphorical import...Bravo, and voted way up...

I like my cantaloupe sliced thin and wrapped in prosciutto, yummers !! Thank you for this exquisite mind trip...Larry


Santi Lio profile image

Santi Lio 5 years ago from erehwon

Nellieanna,

Ahh.. Cantaloupes, such sweet and savory sepals they are, made all the sweeter by this hub. I thoroughly enjoyed your work. Good luck with the contest. I'll vote you up daily. You've undoubtedly set some sort of precedent in fruit literature.

GREAT READ!

Santi Lio


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Hi Nell! The RSS feed will pick up any hub with the tag "seattlestan" in the tag area. It will do this automatically as they become available. No redo required. Just add the tag to your hubs.

You have to do both things to make it work. Add the tag and add the rss capsule.

I wish I had gone to U.T.A. Instead, I went to Sam Houston State (which used to be a teacher's college). I followed my hero, Dan Rather.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Larry - Thank you! I had ever so much fun writing this. It was wonderfully frivolous.

You always have such wonderful ideas and present them so temptingly~.

I like my cantaloupe - period~ ;-> Fruit is my only medicine. :-)

I'm so pleased with your visit! Thank you for the votes!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Santi Lio - How lovely! I am smiling. Thinking of the concept of "fruit literature" reminds me of those clever fruit sculpturing people have done. Fruit is really pretty humorous!

Thank you for the read and votes, as well. I'm not terribly competitive but I am quite pleased with being appreciated for effort! One major motive for accepting Stan's challenges is that it gets me writing on more humorous themes than ordinarily I do. And it is such FUN - I do enjoy fun and foolishness! :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ahhh, AS -Of course - that's the key, the tag word. Yes - I included "seattlestan" in my tags as I was first launching the hub. So that is why it picked up my own title as well as Jaye's. It should pick up all others which are tagged with seattlestan. I really did think that was the purpose of including that tag, but then it slipped my mind when I was futzing with the various glitches of the day. And now - whoopee- hallelujah! My own link with it's corrected first sentence appears with no distractions. This is great - fine-tuned learning of this feature. I'll "have it" from now on.

I know that some others have written hubs for the contest, but are not listing here yet. Maybe they didn't use the key word? There are still only the two of ours on my list as yet.

Sam Houston is a fine school and Dan Rather is quite a lead! I finished my undergraduate work at SMU, having STRONG influence from my eldest sister to go there. It's quite a school but the football really turned sour.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Ah, sweet cantaloupe, at last I've found you. I am strong and sturdy and unattached at the moment. Will you marry me? Signed, Lonesome Watermelon :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

What a lovely proposal, LW! I delivered it to the cantaloupe alter-ego, who requests a bio from you, since, though you're a melon, - well - there are melons and then there are melons! Could you be prevailed upon to write a hub about yourself? We will be good friends in the meantime! No need to be lonesome!

Hugs - (a little squshy, naturally. . . .) Thanks for noticing my mellow melonness! Thank you ever so much!


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

Nellie - you've knocked this one out of the park. About halfway through, I had never wanted a cantaloupe so badly in all my life, and by the end I was ravenous. And to think world peace could be achieved as a bonus! You've outdone yourself here! Rated up and hit all the buttons!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

In my language we call it a “spanspek” – meaning literally: “Spanish bacon”. Do you know that South Africa's spanspek is vastly superior to any equivalent elsewhere? So guess who is going to have cantaloupe for breakfast tomorrow. Well done with this contribution to Stan’s challenge, Nellieanna. This is a great tribute to the cantaloupe - I enjoyed the read. Take care!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 5 years ago from UK

.

Can I have a bite? :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Stan! Wow -Thank you! One should never underestimate Cantaloupe Power. NOT ONLY world peace but an end to diseases, so no more need for a health-care plan. The Cantaloupe Plan will be more than sufficient! :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Martie - Just so you're inspired to have spanspek right away. If you believe that South Africa's is superior, that is all that is required, though I'm sure the Pecos country cantaloupes are beyond any. But just so there are high quality ones all over the globe- that's all that matters! Glad it gave you pleasure!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dimitris - yes, you may, - but only if it's in exchange for a bite of your wonderful hand-crafted Greek yogurt!!

:-)


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

Hex-leafed sultry orange blossom

Draw fair nose to parted petals

Yield luscious melons full bossom

Palmed ripely; licked; savored balls;

Scooped fleshy orbs consumed; mellowed

Fresh fluid fills fired thirsty palate;

Juicy fruit bitten chewed swallowed

Dripping; mouthfuls sucked fruit salad.

sligobay


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

What a sensuous Cantalorgy! LOL. :-)

And thank you for tagging your hub so it appears on the list!


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

You are so sensuous and flirtatious as you approach the anniversary of your birth. Cantalorgy is a fine word to coin; especially for a cantaloupe bulging with juices. LOL


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Grin. A privilege of maturity is to enjoy being ripe. ;->


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 5 years ago from Florida

This was hilarious, Nellieanna. I loved the fun you had with grammar! I also liked your last comment: "A privilege of maturity is to enjoy being ripe." Cute pictures, too.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

mysterylady - I'm delighted that you enjoyed the romp! I had great good fun with it. I love to write and also very much enjoy the visual arts. I'm pleased that you enjoyed this! Thank you for the great compliments.


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 5 years ago from Philippines

After finding out that you entered Stan's contest.With trembling hands on the keyboard I hurriedly sought this hub.Thankful that my favorite poetess didn't turn into a melon or cantaloupe.The definition of both in the Urban dictionary is not flattering.I'm glad that superior intelligence and a kind heart have triumph once again.(please read my comment in Stan's hub to fully understand the reason of this comment...I hope it's still there :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

My dearest Silent Reed - I'm pleased that you overcame your caution and disdain so you could come visit my Cantaloupehub and see that it was OK! I seem unable to play without having a "moral of the story is. . ." eventually. LOL. My Dad was always reading me those kids' poems and stories which ended by pointing out their moral finally. LOL

While I would never wish to offend YOU, and I consider myself to be fairly discrimination in what I participate, I welcome & enjoy these fun contests of Stan's. Though there may be manipulation and mind-control afoot, even in these, it is so much milder than the typical Pharmaceutical advertisement on TV telling you that such and such a drug will fix your depression, though it may damage your liver, alter your heart's rhythm, constipate you to the point of sepsis, deepen your dementia and be fatal - their "moral of the story" seems to be to beg your doctor to prescribe it and hope it doesn't deepen your depression, which is one of its possible side-effects - - all of which are intoned in the same syrupy sweet voice by the gorgeous chick or hunk as the possible benefits.

We live in a risky, dangerous world. There's no place to hide, but we can apply good judgment and also often can either resist or defuse the causes of likely damage. Having survived some pretty demoralizing efforts to diminish me, I have a degree of courage, but am not foolhardy. I did read your comment on Stan's hub and his following it and left a little one of my own.

Thank you for risking coming over and reading my Cantaloupe spoof. Perhaps it has helped us know each other a little more deeply, as well. I always respect your thoughts and this is no exception! And I love cantaloupe to eat, as well as some other melons. They are very healthful and delicious, whatever slant put on them by the Urban dictionary - of which I'm unacquainted. If I were to chose another entity to become, it would not be vegetative, though. A dolphin perhaps. Not a melon!

Hugs, thanks and love!


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 5 years ago from Philippines

I have always love melons and now you will forever be etch in my mind whenever I see or eat one :) which will make the experience doubly pleasurable.My comment on Stan's hub was made with a poker face :) and I did leave another comment about my "affliction" :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Silent Reed! You're wonderful! I'm tickled-pink (as we say here) that you'll write for the contest! Hugs!

ps - when it comes to interpreting wry or dry humor from someone in whom I'm not personally acquainted with that facet of the person or between persons, I prefer to err on the more serious or sensitive side. Now that I know you better I may never take you 100% seriously again. hehehehe! (wink, wink)


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

Just dropped by for a little squeeze, please. May your melon always be ripe!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

How delightful, Gerry! :-) How's this? -Hug!


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

Hugs right back at ya, darlin'!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

And I such a sucker for hugs and sweet talk! ;-


ralwus 5 years ago

suuuweeet!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

hehehe -- Hugs, Charlie!


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 5 years ago from South Africa

Cantaloupes of the world unite! You've nothing to loose but your skins!

I love cantaloupes very much. Here in South Africa they are known as "spanspek" which could mean "Spanish bacon" or "team bacon" - how it got that name I have absolutely no idea. But whatever they're called they taste as sweet, as the Bard might have said.

Loved this and the tasty pix!

Thanks for a great read in the great Nellieanna tradition!

Love and peace

Tony


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Tony - Thank you! As I was writing it, I felt like 'nothing should be so much fun to do!" It was fun.

The names it's called in your SA are puzzling, to be sure. I can think of no relevancy with bacon unless it's a tendency to eat either of them with breakfast. Or maybe it is to tempt kids to eat them, since all kids seem to love bacon. But as you say - they taste just as sweet no matter what they're called.

Hugs - you are so kind!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Brava! (as they say) I have been looking for an analogy for a texture i need for the writing of a story I am involved with... and I was looking into your hubs (as is my wont, of late) to find it raised its lovely metaphorical head.

Look for the word muskmelon (the true cantaloupe) in a magnificent novella by some obscure writer. And there it will be, in all its golden fleshed glory.

Ah! The Armenians, clever chaps, to a man.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ian, my friend - I'm thrilled if I can supply a little word or source for such a writer as you! Thank you for the tribute, my pet - and, of course, as always, for your visits. :-)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Thinking of you and all my North American friends. I am sitting in the dining room, where I have the computer; no study, just a computer in a corner. I'm thinking it's not too cool to put on the central heating, and there you all are, up to your whatevers in that horrible white stuff I abhor. To rub it in. it’s a mild, sunny day.

And with the beauty of the Internet, I don't have to brave the weather to look at your hubs; which I love doing, Nellie.

By the way: Happy New Year!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Ian - You know, I hope, that this wintry weather is NOT typical for Dallas, Texas! We are really miffed by it. The week before we got this blast of winter it was 70F here and quite balmy. Oh well. Normally I am the one rubbing it in to my more northern US and Canadian online friends! Serves me right, I suppose, hm?

Well, anyway - as you say - on the Internet - weather is hardly ever a factor, unless someone has a power outage from it. I got out briefly yesterday afternoon after the temperature got to 54F and some of the ice and snow thawed. I just went a few blocks to the grocery store to stock up on fruit and a few other items, though. I had been invited for lunch but postponed it. Just too risky, especially for an unnecessary venture out.

I'm glad you ventured to my Cantaloupe fantasy. LOL. And it is a Happy New Year! Thank you - and the same for you, along with a big cyberHug!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

And a big hug to you, my new found, but no less precious, friend.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah-h-h-h - that felt GOOD! Thank you!


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago

Once again you never seem to amaze me.Your words are articulate and proper.I seek Honey Dew melons but they are too expensive.I really love cantaloupe and the really ripe kind where the juice drips down my lips.I heard if you touch the end and you want it to be soft.If you see any white marks on it put it back.If you shake it it is ready to eat.I usually put them out on the counter for a couple of days and then take my chances.Most of the time I am pleasantly surprised.Cutting up one seems to be a process.When I grew up we use to eat them in slices and hold their firm skin and eat it so close to the rind.Making sure we didn't waste any.I see you have thought of everything and more.Now years later I cut up my succullent canaloupe into little bite size squares so different than what I am use to.Why I am not sure.Lazy I guess and it is so easy to eat later and I add some whip cream as if it isn't sweet enough.I love it for breakfast and any afternoon.Late night snack can be fun too.I guess you already know anytime of the day will do.I think one reason I cut it up is that I have seen people eat the canaloupe cut up in slices and they leave so much still left on the skin.I feel it is a sin.To waste all that wonderful fruit.So this way I cut it up and eat any leftovers.Greedy I guess.I love your hubs and even a layman can see your talent absorbed in everything you write.You boggle my mind and your pictures are delicately refined.I am just out of my mind.As I see how sweet and kind you are and rare as they come. I leave my cantaloupe on the counter now so I can watch and stare.I have known you all my life and just didn't know you were in my home since I was a little tike.As I grew older you were always piled high as soon as you walk in the supermarket always teasing every customer as soon as they walk in.Even if we didn't buy cantaloupe because you got too expensive for my taste.Your thoughts crossed my mind subconsciously and consciously every time.I have never seen a cantaloupe go eight months without a bite.I am here to make sure it doesn't happen again.You are what you say you are and so much more.Love the hub and will have to go back to it many times to understand the many play on words you so talently include.Funny and without mention a mouthful.Without any ado I adore you.P.s. when I read your hubs words that I have not used in years come to mind.I don't know if they are in proper usage of the english grammar (probably not).My English teachers would have a field day.In my defense all I can say is Thank God I don't have to be graded.I would end up staying after school for the rest of my summer.(lol)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

I usually cut mine into 4ths and then each 4th into 3rds, so they are in wedges. Then I use a skinny serrated knife to slice the fruit off the rind. If I miss any of it doing that, I run the skinny knife along the skin to get it all. I'm with you - NO waste! I'd rather eat some that is a little green than waste some of the ripe fruit.

In picking a melon, I usually go by the color. I look for a more golden color to the outside, and at the stem end. If they are green, they are not usually very ripe. Some folks judge by the aroma, but I don't trust it. All cantaloupes smell rather cantaloupe-y. haha.

I store the peeled wedges in a covered container and when I get them out to eat, then I cut them into bite-sized hunks. A cut up cantaloupe lasts well in the fridge. I eat a LOT of variety of fruit for my first meal of each day. I like to have some melon and/or berries and alway have a banana, and some citrus (either grapefruit or orange), grapes, apple, and any other fruit in season, such as pear or peach. This morning I'm having grapes, apple, peach, banana, orange, slice of fresh pineapple & watermelon. It's a pretty big bowl of fruit!

I buy those small cantaloupe-sized watermelons. I cut them in two and then slice off a wedge to be eaten right away. Slice the melon from the peel with that same skinny knife and then cut it up to eat. I just cover the remaining parts with plastic wrap and store in the peel in the fridge.

I''m a BIG believer in health benefits of fresh raw fruit, eaten before any other food and without anything added. Other food and stuff slows down its digestion, which is ideally fast. If other foods are eaten with it, it has to lie in the stomach waiting to get on with its digestive process and it begins to ferment. That's one cause of the intolerance some folks have with fruit. It's eaten with other stuff. By a half-hour, though, the fruit is on its way and other food can begin its process of slower digestion. Also - I avoid cooking fruit. The cooking process acidifies it.

Yes, I love the look of stacks of melons, too. Being a Texan, cantaloupe are a native crop - from the Rio Grande Valley. They are the BEST cantaloup anywhere!Texas Ruby Red Grapefruit are another yummy crop from down there.

Here is my philosophy about fruit prices: They are all much cheaper than medicine and doctors! And I'm a living example of someone who uses NO prescription meeds and almost never go to the doctor except a yearly checkup to show I'm healthy. I apologize to the doctor for having nothing wrong to be treated. haha - And you may know - I'll be 80 on Feb. 2, 2012!!

So I advise to spend what the fruit costs and save on the meds which always seem to lead to needing more meds to treat the 'side effects'! If you eat the fruit properly, it causes no side-effects other than sparkling health and vitality! My folks had little money when I was a kid. It was during the Great Depression and they had to save on everything to pay the mortgage on the ranch. But they believed in the health benefits of fruit and veggies and we always had fresh ones. NO waste, of course! Mother canned and made preserves with any that was getting too ripe.

Once we had a bushel of apples and little Nellieanna ate apples all day and left the cores all around the window-sills of the screened-in sleeping porch. When my Dad saw what I'd done, he made me go back and eat them, seeds and all! ugh. I never ate cores after that, but there would be only the seeds & that hard pocket they're in left when I ate apples. To this day, I waste almost none of an apple -and I try to eat one every day.

This hub was at the suggestion of Hubber Stan Fletcher. For awhile he put out a list of wild subjects and challenged folk to pick one and write a hub about it. Since I love cantaloupes, I picked "If I Were A Cantaloupe" and I had so much fun writing it!

So I'm really glad you enjoyed it, my friend Dream On!! Since I was taking the part of the cantaloupe, of course I didn't mention eating any! That would have sounded cannibalistic! haha!!

Never hesitate to use your vocabulary. Secret: If I'm in doubt about a word, I look it up! My computer has a handy dictionary, but I have also kept a real dictionary right by the computer. Sometimes I question whether I have spelled a word right or even used it correctly. It's comforting to look it up and be sure! And I used to do those

"Word Power" quizzes in Reader's Digest. I think they still feature that, though I don't currently subscribe to the magazine. I learned a lot of words I didn't otherwise know. My George was in the Navy in WWII and he said the reading material was scarce aboard ship, so he read the dictionary! haha. He came out with lots of words I hadn't heard used much! As for grammar and usage, a tiny book titled "Elements of Style'" is a good reference and very pleasant reading - much better than dictionaries!

English was one of my best subjects in school and I give Miss Carstarphen in the 4th grade a lot of credit for it. She had a way of teaching it that was so painless, it almost seemed like she just much have injected it into our brains! But to show how unfair things can sometimes be, she got fired because she didn't have a degree, though she was so educated on her own and with whatever amount of schooling she had. All her students learned English grammar and spelling better than from any other teachers. It was just "there" and no big deal. I'll always remember her. I started to school quite young so I was only 8 in the 4th grade.

But, no, you don't have to be graded. However, the way you obviously love language and using it, it would be like second-nature to you to keep polishing it. That's what I do. Noone is born knowing it!


ThomasRydder 5 years ago

Miss Nell....

I never thought I'd be jealous of a cantaloupe. I'm but a novice, and your writing staggers me. At the risk of morphing into a fawning schoolboy, this is why I joined hubpages-to learn from Masters/Mistresses. I'm honored (and no, I'm not kidding)

A post-script; the next time I wander through the fruit and veggie aisle, I'll be glancing surreptitiously at the 'loupes and wondering what the little buggers are thinkin' :)TR


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, ThomasRydder. Thank you so much for visiting my zany hub and leaving such an enjoyable comment. Also thanks for the follow and fan mail.

I adore fruits and melons are among the most favorite. Not only yummy, but packed with health.

I've just zotted over to your hubsite and read one of your hubs, on which I will leave a comment. Very interesting! You should do well here and enjoy the camaraderie. Welcome aboard!


ThomasRydder 5 years ago

Thank you, ma'am...I've enjoyed it so far....it was a pleasure today.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

I've just visited your hubsite and read every one of your hubs 'so far', Thomas. I left a comment on that first one I read and also applied for fanship. :-) It's a pleasure to read your work.


ThomasRydder 5 years ago

Good Lord...I just managed to pry my tongue off the roof of my mouth and get my breathing back under control. Wow...ok...now I AM prattling. One thing I mentioned on my profile, and am absolutely insistent upon...I want to get better. I see that many on here compliment one another (which is perfectly fine), and I certainly appreciate yours. But I also want to know what I'm doing wrong...how else do we grow? if you'd be so kind...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, I read your profile; then was surprised to see how accomplished your work is.

May I ask you a question? Where do YOU feel you may need improvement or guidance? Or, in what area?

Since I truly perceive you to be quite a good writer naturally and/or from training or practice, no doubt I'd expect much more of you if it were mine to deliberately attempt to influence. :-)


ThomasRydder 5 years ago

Good morning, Miss Nellie..

My training, as it were, comes from much reading, and writing about two dozen college papers on various subjects for a couple teens who lacked the gumption to do it on their own. That's about it.

Not being schooled in the various facets of writing, I really have no idea where improvements might lie. I've not experienced rejection yet, so a perspective is hard to formulate.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, Thomas ~

Sounds like a case of why mess with what's working! I see no glaring errors, either.

As for general advice, actually I favor vast and varied reading and keen observation of it for training one's writing skill, and then being super-over-and-under authentic and true to one's own light. No one can 'do' you better than you. What is missing from the world is your own contribution. No one else can do it, much less improve on it.

I perceive your being authentic. You're the best expert on that if you're in touch with your innards. If something feels amiss, you'll know it, as well as how to bring it into line.

That's why I asked what you thought. That inner guide is inevitably valid. Wherever your strengths and weaknesses lay, you are in the best position to recognize and identify them. And reading good stuff is a great way to develop your sensitivity to those. That's what you've done, as well as practicing it yourself. Your talent shows.

Even if you should get criticism along the way, you need to fit it into your own scheme. If it works there, use it. If not, discard it. If it feels foreign, it probably is. And who better than you to know what feels 'in sync'?

Well, you asked me! ;-} Carry on!

ps - if a specific question arises or even a specific piece you'd like my opinion about, I'd be glad to give it. (It might be that it's perfect as it is! It would be my genuine opinion. Honest praise is a critique, too!)


ThomasRydder 5 years ago

Thank you, ma'am...that clears up much for me. I just copy/pasted that into a little journal I'm keeping for notes and such. I'm about to publish a new hub-I don't typically announce that to anyone, but I feel I can to you, without fear of censure. Thank you for the kind words and guidance :)TR


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Good! I'm pleased if it makes sense to you and may be helpful.

I can take no credit for your wonderful poem! You really had that ability in you! I'm honored that you told me you were preparing to publish it, and sorry it took me awhile to get here to see. I've had some things needing attention.

Why on earth would there have been any fear of censure?

And why are we having these discussions on this Cantaloupe page? ;-)


emichael profile image

emichael 5 years ago from New Orleans

My cantahead is reeling...but I enjoyed every minute of it.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

hahaha! Thank you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

HELLO

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