I've Watched The Sound Of Music One Time Too Many

I’m still without cable and not really missing it much, surprisingly. My VCR is on the blitz. So all I can do is watch my limited collection of DVDs over and over, again. And I’ve really watched The Sound Of Music too many times, as I’ve started created a really nasty dialogue while watching the movie. Nasty but funny, as when I do it, I kind of crack myself up.

The movie starts with all the nuns aside from the nun who went on to play Lila Quartermaine on General Hospital acting like mean girls about Maria and basically telling the Mother Superior, “Get rid of her NOW!” So what does the Mother Superior do? Sends her off to Von Trapp to take care of his kids. Maybe she hopes if Maria is out in the world she’ll realize she doesn’t want to become a nun and never come back. I’m sure that’s what all the nuns were praying for. Anyway off she goes.

Do you know how many times watching this movie it’s taken for me to realize Von Trapp’s butler is a Nazi mole? Too many. I think it was the third viewing that I finally realized it was the butler standing at the window while the Family Von Trapp were pushing their car off the estate afraid to start it in case they made too much noise. Of course, the mole alerted that Nazi Dick who was waiting outside the gate for Von Trapp.

Speaking of the Nazi Dick, he embodies exactly why the Nazi Party failed. Trying to shove his party down everyone’s throats and having a fit because Von Trapp flew the Austrian flag instead of his precious German flag. The little termite even had the nerve to hang his flag on Von Trapp’s house while he was off on his honeymoon and Von Trapp promptly ripped the foul thing down when he came home. Hey, douche bag, you’re in Austria and they have their own flag. Why should they have to fly yours? It’s that very intolerance over something as simple as allowing Austrians the freedom to fly their own flag that doomed the Nazi Party to failure.

And why this cretin was so determined for Von Trapp to serve in the German Army is beyond me. That’s another reason they party was doomed to failure. You want people who support your values in your army, not someone who disdains everything you stand for.

The first time I watched the movie I kind of wondered what killed the kids’ mother, but after really listening as those kids were shooting off their age, I wonder no more. In a few instances those kid’s were a year apart in age. That means right after Mrs. Von Trapp had a baby, Von Trapp knocked her up with another one. Child birth is the most traumatic thing a woman’s body goes through and not being given proper time to let your body fully recover takes a toll on your health. By the time she popped out the seventh kid, I’m sure the poor woman was worn out. Back in the days when women were treated like cats who were expected to have a large litter of kittens, they also had a high mortality rate of dying at a young age.

I actually have a few problems with good old Maria. I get she wants the kids to like her, but she knows a sixteen year old girl is doing something out in the middle of the night. She can guess that it’s a boy, and yet she covers for her. If that girl ended up pregnant because of Maria covering for her, it would be all her fault. She’s supposed to be protecting her. Then after Mother Superior tells the ninny to go climb Mount Von Trapp and let him fish in her sea, she gives the kids this preachy speech about not running away from their problems. You mean like she did when the Baroness made her feel like a dirty bad girl for having feelings for Von Trapp?

That’s another problem I have. When Maria and Von Trapp are declaring their love, they start claiming the moment they first starting loving each other and I call it utter BS. Yeah, she started loving him when he tried to dehumanize her by reducing her to a whistle tone. And he claimed to have loved her when she sat on a pine cone. Unless he put the pine cone on her chair, how would he even know what she sat down on? He started loving her when he danced with her; he didn’t even take notice of her until she called him out for being a dick to his kids. And she got all hot and bothered over Von Trapp when he sang a song like he was Elvis and the Beatles rolled into one.

Speaking of the way Von Trapp totally dehumanized his kids and tried to turn them into soldiers in his own private army, maybe that’s why Von Trapp is so taken with Miss Maria. She’s as big of a hypocrite as he is. It’s really hard to buy his disdain for Hitler when you watch the way he’s completely dehumanized his own children and reduced them to the sound of a whistle. I mean, some of his kids are little more than babies. That’s a pretty foul thing to do. I guess it’s just all right when he does it.

Strangely the character I’ve actually come to feel the most sorry for is the Rolf character. When the movie starts out he’s a sweet kid, but by the end of it he’s well on his way to transforming into a total Nazi. It’s too bad he didn’t take Von Trapp up on his offer to go with them; he might have been saved, but even by then it seemed too late for him.

Anyway, as you can see I really have watched this movie one time too many. I think it’s time to take a break from it. Maybe I’ll over-watch some Fred and Ginger movies and see if they hold up under repeated viewings.

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