Jamaica Vacation Gone Awry

While flipping through the travel magazine I ran across an ad for Jamaica. The photos consisted of beautiful sunsets, powdered sand beaches, and lush tropical gardens, “I think I know where we’re going for vacation,” I said to my husband, interrupting him momentarily from his work, while placing the magazine under his nose. “Looks great, think you can get the tickets fast enough? I only have one week cleared on my calendar this month.” “Let’s see what I can do,” I said while opening the laptop.

Finding last minute trips was something I was accustomed to, due to my husband's line of work, therefore I had a variety of saved sites ready and waiting for me to search. Usually I research every vacation prior to scheduling a trip viewing what activities are available, what areas to avoid and where to stay. But on this one particular trip I found for Jamaica it guaranteed a 5 star hotel with one drawback, you didn’t know exactly where you would be staying on the island. The cost was unbelievable, compared to other last minute prices, therefore we grabbed it.

The day finally arrived, mid-January near blizzard conditions, but we were on our way to a fun filled trip to Jamaica. Upon landing and going through customs my husband grabbed the lighter of the two suitcases and walked away. I knew he wanted to get a reaction out of me and he had no intentions of me carrying my overweight suitcase, but before he could turn around this Jamaican man ran to my aid, “I can carry your baggage for $5,” he said. I looked at him and replied, “Its ok my husband is right there, and he’s just acting smart. You know sometimes I can just choke him.” While my husband started to approach us, the man said, “I can choke him for you for $5.” I started laughing and said, “Hey hon, this man said he’d be willing to choke you for five bucks. Shoot, I’ll give him 10 if he’ll smack you too!” My husband immediately glared at the man, picked up my suitcase while looking at me sideways, “Very funny Sly. Let’s go.”

While turning our luggage over to the travel representative, another man approached us, “Would you like some ganja?” “What is ganja?” I asked inquisitively. “You know weed mon,” he stated, as if I should know. “Weed? Hon, this guy wants to sell us some weed,” I said, while tugging on my husband’s shirt. “Sly! Get in the van,” was all my husband said as I busted out in laughter, “You know sometimes I can just…Ahhh,” was all I got out, as my husband grabbed me around the waist, picked me up, and carried me over to the van, “Boy, you’re just a barrel of laughs today,” he said while shaking his head as if to say, I don‘t know what I‘m going to do with you..

The sites seen on our ride towards the hotel was absolutely breath taking, the floral habitat was like none I have ever seen before with it‘s vibrant greens and thick, waxy, fragrant floral blooms. Upon arriving at our destination my husband was ready for some fun in the sun. As we hit the room the first thing said was, “Grab your swimsuit and snorkel gear and let’s go, we can unpack later,” and I was all for it.

While snorkeling, my husband dove into the water pointing at something odd resting on a reef nearby. I was having problems with my goggles fogging up so I removed my goggles, while under water, to take a closer look. By doing so, I left my eyes vulnerable for this “thing” my husband was pointing at to puff out, projecting these long spikes that skimmed across my left eyeball. I shot out of the water like a bullet, holding my eye, screaming, “My eye is poked out!” As we both got to shore my husband examined my eye, “It’s not poked out. I don’t see anything wrong with it.” Yet, it felt like someone was sticking a hot poker iron in my eyeball. “I need a doctor,” I screamed while cupping my hand over my eye.

We went into the hotel and requested to see a doctor, yet they claimed there wasn’t a doctor available saying, “Just rinse your eye out in the ocean.” “What?” I said in shock. “Ya, the ocean has iodine in it and will help your eye.” “That’s where I got this from! Dear God, help me, will someone please call a cab so I can go to the nearest hospital?” The desk clerk picked up the phone and called a cab, “A cab will be outside waiting for you in a moment.” I breathed a sigh of relief, “Ok, hon take the snorkel gear upstairs and meet me outside,” I said while in excruciating pain. As the taxi pulled up I jumped in saying, “Hold on, my husband is on his way,” but even with one eye closed I was able to recognize the driver, “Hey, aren’t you the one that tried to sell me ganja at the airport?”

“Ya mon, I’m Tony, what happened to your eye?” “I need to go to the hospital; something poked me in the eye… “ as I went on trying to explain what happened to my eye my husband appeared saying, “Dog-gone-it, the hotel room door handle caught on to the back pocket of my shorts and ripped a huge hole, now my a$$ is hanging out!” This was the last thing I heard while Tony peeled off into the sunset for the nearest Jamaican hospital…(Stay tuned for Part II)


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