John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Fourty-Four: Mountain of the Cannibal God

The least offensive thing I could find. Probably sums up the movie, though.
The least offensive thing I could find. Probably sums up the movie, though.

Oh man. Why am I reviewing this movie?

Susan and her brother head off to some jungle in New Guinea to look for her husband. We get the normal animal deaths, a boneheaded bunch of arguments, and a scene where Susan is smeared in paint while nude and declared a god. We get a penis lopped off, some gutting, and a smack in the forehead twist that will leave fans of these goofball movies wondering why they bothered.

So why am I reviewing this? Well, it's a Video Nasty, for one. Although I'm not sure why. There's so little in this movie that without the labeling of it as such, no one would have ever watched it. There's a scene with a rubber lizard that made me laugh loudly, and paper mache crocodiles that make Ed Wood's movies seem high budget.

Not to mention the bizzaro adventure sequences with members of the group being left behind to die, leading to arguments that aren't worth the viewer's time. Also, it turns out Susan is after Uranium, not her brother.

Too bad the Puka (close to Puke) cannibals eat most of the group first.

This movie isn't good for effects, story, or nastiness. It's just plain boring. And to make matters worse, a monkey gets eaten by a snake for the "good of entertainment."

Puka indeed

This is more than you need to see.

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