Let’s Take Away Every Celebrity’s Driver’s License Starting With George Michael
So this past weekend at Gay Pride in London, George Michael crashes his car into a store front. The news was quick to report that it was a “posh” shoppe and I’m sure that the people who own it are pleased that they’re being listed as the “posh shoppe” George Michael ran into (insert eye roll). But with Lindsay Lohan going to jail after her violation on her probation (I sound like someone who has been to prison, “The edification of the mummification of the masturbation of the sentence heretofore…”) I started to think (as you know that I do) let’s take away every celebrity’s driver’s license starting with George Michael – Don’t Get Me Started!
I get that celebrities should be able to drive if they want to but time and time again they’ve shown that they just can’t. Think of all the trouble it would have saved Mel Gibson (well, until he opened up his mouth with his recent tirade on his girlfriend which included several times of calling her the ”N” word but also included apparently threatening to burn down her house after screwing her!) that guy just needs to be locked up, period. The thing is that these people make plenty of money to have a driver and in most cases a car and a driver so why don’t they just suck it up and do it?
I personally would love to have a car and driver. I would sit in the back seat and give them advice about how they’re driving and then tell them to take alternative routes and probably go through them like water (i.e., Holly Hunter in Broadcast News)but I think that if I had one it would get me out of a lot of trouble. Not only would I not get traffic tickets but I wouldn’t have to take the glare of my fellow motorists who for some reason aren’t all that wild about having a red Mini Cooper up their ass! I would love to leave the driving to someone else and when these celebs are going out on the town I don’t get why they don’t want to have someone else driving for them.
Let’s face it, for some of them I think that a judge should just make it mandatory. Take away their licenses and hold them at the county courthouse until they can’t get arrested in show business and are now the spokesperson for a brand of beef jerky. When they hit that point in their career then they can go ahead and have their driver’s license back. I’ll sit on the board of these hearings. Mel Gibson – denied, George Michael –denied, Joyce DeWitt – approved, give her the license back. See how simple it is?
Celebrities surround themselves with a bunch of sycophants they call an “entourage” who just tell them how right and wonderful they are all day long. Can’t any of these leeches, these “hanger-oners” drive? I mean, someone in the group must have more skills than complaining that the Pellegrino isn’t room temperature, right?
I’m going to make a vow right now that when I become famous, I mean really famous, that I will get a driver. You may hear stories of me in the tabloids for other types of exploits but the one embarrassment I will never suffer is getting out of a car showing that I have no underwear on nor will I be stopped for driving infractions which include drunken driving or running into a “posh shoppe.” Let’s take away every celebrity’s driver’s license starting with George Michael – Don’t Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com
More by this Author
I know this will shock many of you (as it has shocked me) that for years (yes, years) I have not received an International Male catalog. I almost thought they must be out of business. For those six people who are...
Here I thought that there would be certain phrases that we would never have to hear again. You know, like "Cowabunga" from when the Simpsons first came out or "What's uaaaaaaaaaaap?" from that insipid commercial. You...