A Rap Artist is Living in My Head! Funny Story

Setting up home in my Head!

Now I don't know about you, but I try to be a nice person. I do. Honestly. I help people in the street, I do people's shopping for them, I even helped my brother with moving into his own house and sitting on his backside while I hung the darn curtains, but my nice me of the week was helping an old man carry his deckchairs back to the car after sitting in the park. Evidently he had gone stiff as a board, I know how he feels I am getting to that age too! Well I feel like it anyway!

So what's that got to do with a devil living in my head? Or even more bizarre, the occasional burst of information from my residential rap star yelling in my ear, or should I say shouting in my cerebellum!

Mad? Well let me explain. For example, I was walking down the town with my son the other day and there was this, well, how shall I put it? large woman in front of me. I carried on walking behind her, listening to my son warbling on in my ear talking about cars or something as riveting, and suddenly without even thinking it, I swear it wasn't me thinking it, the words nearly popped out of my mouth to the large woman, 'I ain't obeese I iz just faaaaat!!'

I swear to goodness right here right now, I didn't have a clue where it came from. It was my mouth, and my brain, but who the hell just said that?

Shut The Hell Up!

I swear I clamped my hands over my mouth. It nearly came out! Suffice to say my son was in hysterics at me. 'Mum, you are nasty to her, it's not her fault she is fat' he said, smirking at me for the look on my face. I was mortified, what if she had heard me?

The point is, why are we like this? I am sure that everybody knows exactly what I am talking about. However good we are, there is a full sized bitch and a half living inside our heads! I have realised over the years that the one inside me is male, the reason being at least it has a sense of humour! Why I say this is because i can't stand bitchiness, and some women do it to your face. At least mine is hidden away nicely inside my stupid brain! I don't want to be like that, I feel so guilty after I have thought it. But mine is definitely got a wicked sense of humour. Hence the male!

I try to be nice, I do honestly! But if you are confronted with a big woman in front of you wibbling and wobbling about, what else are you going to think? Let's be honest here. I ain't perfect far from it, and my conscious brain is a good little girl. But for some reason the other part of my brain decides to tell it like it is. Like Whoopi Goldberg in the film Jumping Jack Flash, when she's given the truth drug and can't keep her mouth shut. And for some reason mine sounds just like a rapper.


The worse thing that gets my rapper going is young girls on their cell phones. Now I know it is probably jealousy, I mean let's face it, if you think something bitchy it is just that. Jealousy! There is no other reason for it, you can make excuses up in your mind that it is for other reasons, but no there is no other reason. Apart from a big, well, person in front of you, I mean.

Every time I see a young girl warbling into her phone J.D. the rap star, starts yelling, 'Oy you stupid bimbo, get outta ma face, before I stick that phone where the sun don't shine! get a brain, get a life, BUT GET THE HELL OUTTA MY WAY! This usually happens when I am trying to get past with about ten bags of shopping, and the girl is wandering along aimlessly talking about parties and is he really that gorgeous? Ummm. Sooooo Fiiiine! Bah Humbug! Occasionally J.D. gets the urge to trip her up. 'Go on, ya know ya wanna!' 'Shut up!' I yell silently to my residential pain in the neck, 'Don't be nasty'.

It's like he's sitting on my shoulder, trying to blow her over or something, with a big grin on his face.



Dizzee Rascal And Eminem doing the rap!

But what's a girl, well woman, to do when Dizzee and Eminem start to do a duet in my head when I am in the middle of Sainsbury's grocery shop on a Saturday morning, for goodness sake? To be fair, it was partly my fault. Well, actually probably quite a bit my fault. I have had a bad foot for a few weeks and I tend to hobble slightly and be very careful when I walk. The trouble is, the more you try and be careful the more clumsy you get. Badly clumsy. I was sashaying around, swishing my basket too and fro, humming to myself under my breath, when all of a sudden, out of the blue, and I mean blue, a girl wearing a blue mini dress, high heels and would you believe the Paris Hilton of her, a bloody yappy lap dog in her bag, careered into me, while she was cooing to the stupid rat like creature in the said bag! well, me being the most graceful of ladees, swung round to apologise to her, thinking it was an old lady who had tripped over, and was met with a look that could seer glass better than a nuclear explosion.

To my amazement she said, ' CAN'T YOU WATCH WHERE YOUR BLOODY GOING'! DIDN'T YOU SEEEE MEEE YOU STUPID COW! Well, that was it, my decorum took a dive and without thinking my stupid brain yelled, oh I don't believe it it yelled, wait for it, 'IS IT A NIGHTCLUB? IS IT A DANCE FLOOR, DO YOU ALWAYS WALK AROUND LOOKING LIKE A FLOOZY AT THIS TIME OF THE DAY? (Floozy? where the hell did that come from?) But Dizzy, or Eminem, couldn't tell which, decided this wasn't enough. Oh no, that would be too, well easy.

'SO IT'S PARIS BLOODY HILTON IS IT? 'THIS IS SAINSBURY'S NOT THE MINISTRY OF SOUND! (I must admit I quite liked that one, it's the only nightclub I knew of in London!) She stared at me. I stared back, J.D, or Dizzy or... well you get the picture, sat grinning from ear to ear in my imagination. I knew they were there, I could here a quiet mumbling of ' That's it, go girl' in the background of my mind.


At last the me, decided to turn up. UHUM! I cleared my throat. 'Why are you dressed like an evening out, with those shoes no wonder you trod on me. I said with dignity! Dignity my ass, my face was red, my mouth needed a gobstopper, and wanted out of there! The place was silent. Everybody was watching and snickering. At her mainly, thank goodness, well she did look ridiculous. I hope.

The Silence Is Deafening!

She glared at me. But her mouth didn't seem to want to work. Well, it did, in a funny twitchy sort of way. Then to my relief, she flung back her hair, tottered, and I mean tottered, the heels were very high!, and flounced out the door. J.D, a combination of the two, decided that was funny, and as I turned around to walk away, my head down, face flaming red, I could hear an echo floating through my mind.

'That was fuuunny! An' she aint all that!' hee hee

Slight Exaggeration, Well, I Hope!

Now, I know what you are thinking. Mad as a hatter!. I know, it does sound like it, doesn't it? But don't worry, I know it's just me. I haven't got a split personality or something like that, well I don't think so, I am a Gemini, so maybe I have. I think it is just that if I blame it on a person completely different to me, I can say, 'Well it wasn't me!' So don't worry, I am in complete control of my rapper, well most of the time!

No rappers were hurt in the making of this hub, well, not really. I mean I do yell at them sometimes, but then what's a girl to do?!

I am not that into Rap music, but believe me when I say, I love Eminem. He's not a Rapper he's a Poet with Attitude!

Why not check Eminem below? And Dizzee is cute and pretty talented too.

Eminem Not A Rapper, But A Poet With Attitude!

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Comments 63 comments

Arthur Windermere profile image

Arthur Windermere 6 years ago

Got up in her grill! You go girl! Word. She be a ho and had it comin', 'cuz she a hater not a 'preciater.

Oh, I'm also interested in your son's conspiracy theory that the fat lady was being force-fed into obesity.

(I broke my month-plus vacation from HubPages for this article. Impressissimo!)

Smell ya later

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Hahahaha.... I can't stop laughing! Ah, Nell, you are such delight! I guess that is why that 100 number love you very much!

I have mine too, the devil in me, I mean. But she is not that worst even she can be really wicked sometimes but I don't mind since I think it is from her I got all twisted story I ever wrote. And yes, she took over me once a while and made me really embarrassed by her attitude. I guess we all have dark side somewhere inside of us and that is why human is unique creature.

By the way, why do you think it is he than she? She can be more wicked the he in so many times, dear. Except if he once drooling over beautiful Paris Hilton then, it is he indeed!

Wonderful work, Nell. It always fun to read something from you. ^_^

carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

It sounds pretty damned normal to me...

but then, I'm not sure that's a good indicator. LOL!!!!

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"Quill" 6 years ago

Hi Nell... what a hoot you tell it like it is... we all have those stupid words in our heads at times... keep beating on them girl and they will go away and be replaced by something els...

Know that you are loved and hugs have arrived from Canada

Blessings as always

RevLady profile image

RevLady 6 years ago from Lantana, Florida

Thank you for sharing the tragedy/comedy of humanity. Love it!

Forever His,

Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

I think we all got it. I definitely do it. Thank you for a good laugh.

CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 6 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

Nell your hub did make me laugh, but are you sure its not just your mother sounding like a rapper? Sometimes a thought pops out from nowhere straight into my head, that is pure my mother - you know the kind of thing 'look at the length of that skirt, totally indecent!'

The thing that is most likely to get my inner voices going is women or girls who use their baby buggies like offensive weapons on the street, either shoving them onto the bus scattering other passengers as they go, or ramming them into your shins on the pavement to get you to move out of the way.

rgarnett profile image

rgarnett 6 years ago from KC, MO

Awesome, Nell. I think your story is something I can relate to. Though you have much more restraint than I do. I usually spout off whatever it is that comes to my head. Not so much with the 'large person' but with twittering teen girls and skanky dressed women in grocery stores. :P Thanks for the laugh so early in the morning.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Arthur, I have been out all day and just come in to find your funny comment! lol Brilliant, as for breaking your Hubpage vacation, thanks for the compliment, I love it! so, bro, you get down wiv the music, and I smell you later, and yeah she was a h... um me back again now! lol thanks again, nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Freya, lovely to see you, and thanks for liking it, I believe my 'alter ego' is a male because I think women are bitchy but not funny, but 'he' is funny! I know that it is me really, but as long as I try to keep it with humourous funnies, it takes the sting away! lol thanks so much again nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, carolina muscle, seems like we both got a little bit of rapper in us! lol thanks nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Quill, thanks for reading it, I have been mentally beating it up for ages now! lol but it is strange why we do it, maybe that is the point, people who let the horrible voice dominate are the ones who are, well, horrible! at least mine has a sense of humour! thanks as always nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, RevLady, thanks so much for stopping to read it, I am trying to get rid of that annoying voice! lol well, I had better keep trying because it's driving me mad! cheers nell

Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Girl you shore is funny!

akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Oh lord - if we were accountable for the devil voice inside of us, I'm be doomed! Bob says that the amount of times that I roll my eyes and/or make the 'lame-o' sign should be an indicator that I have the devil in me ANYHOW but he doesn't hear the half of it! I always get a laugh from him though when we're out driving and I saw off some particularly 'colorful' remark - I call it venting. I figure as long as the folks can't actually HEAR me, I'm safe, right??? I hope I don't have to account for all these someday!

davidseeger profile image

davidseeger 6 years ago from Bethany, OK

Hilarious, kid! Those are the things we wish we had said but seldom think of at the time. The only time I personaly have responded in that way is when I've been so mad that I wasn't really awary of time or place. Thanks again.

kimh039 profile image

kimh039 6 years ago

Hey Nell. I'll be the "devil's advocate" here. What she did to you was hurtful and what you did to her was hurtful. It doesn't mean you're a bad person for having done it. Hurt people hurt people, and in that regard we're all capable of hurting others. We're all human and we all "fall short." I can't laugh or cheer you on, but I did enjoy hearing about your conflict and appreciate the way you presented it. You are truly gifted. Take care!

Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

most delightful, most, I laughed so hard. You go girl! No one should be in a store with a bug in a bag and high heels like that, hahaha I could just see all that in my head, so so funny! I love reading your stories. Thumbs across the board girl! ~Aloha~

fundamentallife profile image

fundamentallife 6 years ago

Entertaining to say the least, wish I had been there! Sounds normal to me, I get 'inner voices' telling me the same sorts of things!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, G.H, thanks for reading it, I do try and see the funny side of things! lol cheers nell

Hi, Audrey, i am not like this usually, she just got me on a bad day! lol my foot was hurting and she was stumbling about falling over every one! I am sure that you are much more demure than me! hee hee thanks again nell

Hi, david, I think that was it, I was in my own little dream world and she started on me! so without thinking I opened my mouth and let loose the rapper! ha ha thanks again nell

Hi, kim, I did feel bad afterwards, my mother never brought me up to be what she called a 'fishwife'! lol I will make sure it doesn't happen again, I hope! cheers nell

Hi, Sa'ge, a bug in a bag! ha ha I think that was what done it to me, just seeing the fact that she was carrying one of those tiny dogs, at that time of the morning wearing those clothes! ooops! I will learn my lesson, I will not yell! I will not let out the rapper! I will not..... na not going to work! hee hee cheers nell

Hi, AJ, sounds normal? thank goodness for that! ha ha thanks for reading it, cheers nell

SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 6 years ago from Philippines

I wonder,hmm..... if it were the fat lady in mini and heels, the rap of the imp would have been deliciously funny. ;)

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, SilentReed, ha ha that would have been funny! thanks for reading it, cheers nell

prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

I have admit to you, My English is not good enough. So I have to understand what rapper say. Maybe good in slow motion...hahaha. I often find rude words in rap music and this is not good for kids. I am worried they will imitate bad sentences from rapper. But I also found the positive from rapper. Thanks for share with us. Vote up as usual


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, prasetio, it was a bit of a joke really, because I found myself thinking funny things in a rap singer type voice, but it was me having not very nice thoughts about people! ha ha thanks so much again nell

Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

Nell, it would be a rip to sit and have an espresso with you at some corner sidewalk cafe, omg! it would be! ha ha ha sorry can't help it i just got a picture in me head of us sitting there laughing busting our sides. oh my i better stop here, cause i am starting to not stop now! haha

Dardia profile image

Dardia 6 years ago from Michigan

Hello, Nell! I think women can have a good sense of humor about things like that as well. I say this because my inner bad voice has a wonderful sense of humor and I believe it is a she. I too find myself thinking thoughts like that. Let's face it we use it to put others down to make us feel better about ourselves. I was always ready with a great come back when someone got in my face as well. I also thought if the person didn't hear me make my smart-alack comment that I wasn't hurting anyone. One day though I thought about it and realized that even if the person didn't hear me say it-- I did-- and doing this I was hurting myself. Because I was giving in to that devil-side of me instead of fighting it.

Recently, I encountered a most unpleasant man. He was continuously putting everyone down, including his wife. I had so much trouble fighting back that "witty-slammer" inside me. At one point I couldn't control it and it came out. The man had made the comment that his wife didn't have any friends. My "witty-slammer" came back with, "I can see why she wouldn't have friends with a husband like you." He stopped and looked at me in great surprise. His response however when he finally spoke was, There it is! I love when they wake up." I told him it was awake all along and that he didn't want to get me going. I said, "I grew up in a large family with 4 brothers and 6 sisters all putting me down. I had to learn how to come back to these insults and I learned it too well." My husband looked at him and said, "Yeah, you don't want to get here started." Ed, the man who was so rude, said, "Then why aren't you using it?" I said, "I don't want to be that person." He had a whole new respect for me after that.

I'm not telling you you are bad or that you should be ashamed of this. I find it funny and even now I will retort if provoked. I just want to be the one in charge of it not my witty-slammer, or "rapper" as you call yours. I don't want it to take me over again.

I loved your hub though. :)

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Sa'ge, ha ha now you have got me laughing, hee hee I wish I could get on a plane now, and just come over, so we can have a real laugh, it would be fantastic! I wasn't sure whether to keep this hub here or not as I thought it was a bit, well, insulting! lol but then I realised that the only person it was insulting was me! ha ha, so it doesn't matter! now I have got a big smile on my face, thanks so much nell

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Dardia, thanks for commenting, good for you! lol I think that sometimes when we are provoked we do just open our mouths and the first thing comes out! it could have been a worse outburst from me, and I must learn to keep my big mouth shut, but she caught me on the hop! I will try and be a bit more lady like in future! lol thanks so much nell

ahostagesituation profile image

ahostagesituation 6 years ago

LOL! I've mentioned to more than one person that nearly all of us have an inner gangster rapper in our heads...Mine is funny but lethal. Thank goodness for social manners...and assault laws. Thanks!

E.Welch profile image

E.Welch 6 years ago

Funny Funny hub, Nell let's face it when we get to our age we know every woman has the same thing.. some young women don't get that, and we don't want to see there's at the grocery let alone have one of them step on a sore foot.. hah..hah.. still laughing you go girl!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, ahostagesituation,yeah! I'm not the only one! ha ha thank goodness for that, it drives me mad sometimes! I think it was my sons fault really because he loves rap music so it has probably sunk into my brain too! lol thanks again nell

Hi, E.Welch, they drive me mad! ha ha I am sure I didn't strut around like that when I was that age, I got dressed up to go out, still do, but not the heels no definitely not the heels! hee hee

tasksgirl profile image

tasksgirl 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

lol......!!!!!!!! this is the funniest thing I have read in a long time.. I kept laughing seriously 5 times just imagining the "I am not obese I iz just faaat" LOL!! And the Paris Hilton thing?? Priceless!!!!!! And well deserved hahaha... BTW I am a Gemini too - I totally get what you mean!! :P

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, tasksgirl, my mind does tend to wander off on it's own occasionally! ha ha i always feel bad at myself when I think it, but whats a brain to do when it does what it wants? hee hee I will learn to be nice......Gemini's! who would have them? lol

Couples Tips profile image

Couples Tips 6 years ago from Sunny Florida!

I wish more people reacted like that...you know really put people in their place when they think that they're all that. Good job and maybe you should let your inside rapper out a little more. I'm sure it's pretty stress relieving. You can't be nice all the time... :)

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Couples, thanks so much for reading it, I think I do need to let the rapper out more often! lol it's getting a bit boring being nice! ha ha cheers nell

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

You know- just checkin' out the tunes and hittin' yo butt-uns!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Micky, you checkin out my buttons again?!! ha ha

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gwennies pen 6 years ago

Cute and funny hub Nell. I loved it!! I have had things that I couldn't quite explain happen to me, such as an outburst of words when someone had it coming. I am usually shy, and try to keep my mouth shut. ;) I could relate fully to this hub though. Now I know what to call these unexplained outburst...the red devil sitting on my shoulder. Usually I prefer the angelic one on the other side. Wish my brain worked as yours does...with all that rap.:)

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, gwennies, I sometimes open my mouth and I have no idea what is likely to come out! ha ha sometimes it is a rap star, another time it is just the little devil! I think we all need that though, we can't be nice all the time! it's not normal! hee hee cheers nell

pmccray profile image

pmccray 6 years ago from Utah

Too bad I can only mark funny this piece was hilarious. Your voices are actually the collective voices of us all that are dying to say those things, but don't.

Those of us tired of ill manner brats hogging the walkways, while endlessly blabbing on cell phones like their carrying on the business of moguls. The entitled who drive like drunken sailors while "texting" brainlessly oblivious to the hazard.

Yes we all can attest to that rapping, but we do so silently. Bravo on this hub, voted up, marked funny and shared.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, pmccray, ha ha I totally understand what you are saying, my brother hates young people on mobile phones, it drives him to insanity! thanks so much for the vote, I really appreciate it, and I am glad you found it funny, cheers nell

Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

Hehe, we all have this little devil, in many occasions it is so good when we allow him to speak. I do allow him to speak (many people don`t) and do not feel guilty afterwards any more. At least, I must admit - little devil is telling the truth. My politeness would lie.

Thank you, enjoyed your Hub sooo much.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Tatjana, lol I know, it is funny when we get like this, I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes, but you are right, at least we are telling the truth! hee hee thanks again, nell

WeNdYpOoPoO profile image

WeNdYpOoPoO 6 years ago from Hudson Valley NY

Nell!!!OMG I was reading this laughing my butt off to mymom on the phone. I thought that everyone in the UK were thin being you have to pay to park everywhere so everyone walked lmfao.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Wendy, ha ha Oh my God no! they are as fat and round as a pudding! hee hee We have an obese problem over here, mainly up the north end of the country, I have no idea why that is, it is exactly the same as the U.S.A, fat people skinny people and everything in between, don't you have to pay to park over there? wow! I walk everywhere anyway, I find it much easier, and you get some fresh air, I couldn't stand being stuck in a car, but then again, I only live in a small town. I e-mailed your mum earlier, sorry it took so long, cheers nell

CharlotteHughes profile image

CharlotteHughes 6 years ago

Take it from me, this woman is funny!!!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, Charlotte, thanks so much, I that humour is probably the best way to put up with things sometimes! ha ha cheers nell

burning bush profile image

burning bush 6 years ago

Its difficult not to picture an old Monty Python routine when I read this story. It did make me laugh. I now wonder if you are channeling me as your inner voice. Your internal advisor apparently knows exactly what I would be saying...or at least wish I was thinking. I certainly do give you credit for giving a clever response during the shopping cart incident. I so envy anyone who can make a dagger-like remark on a moment's notice. I always get flustered and later think "oh I wish I had said such and such". Nell, the world is not ready to hear what we really think and like you, I have found myself actually saying things out loud that were never intended to go beyond my frontal lobes. Fortunately the aging process provides a natural embarassment-protection shield which becomes stronger every day. There comes a time when you can forget to put on your trousers whilst leaving the house and it will only disturb others. You won't be bothered at all. Anyway as always, love your hubs. When it comes to humour, nothing is funnier than the truth and you are one of the "truthiest" people I know. Cheers.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, burning bush, yep that's me! open mouth insert foot! ha ha I did it again the other day, I won't go into details but believe me when I say that I nearly stuck my whole glove in my mouth to shut myself up! lol thanks so much for reading it, and I love the way that we both think alike! cheers nell

michael ely profile image

michael ely 6 years ago from Scotland

Hi Nell Rose, That was an enjoyable read. You should maybe think about writing down any other incidents to keep us up to date with you and your inner rapper!.

Cheers. Michael.

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England Author

Hi, michael, I did it again this week! opened my mouth and put my very large foot in it! I should have your photo! loll thanks again nell

amillar profile image

amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK

That rap artist inside your head seems to have some kind of Tourette Syndrome lurking ready to catch you out unaware. I know how you feel, there’s one in my head too.

Up and funny

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, amillar, thanks! I do wish it would stop though, it is driving me mad! lol

John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Hysterical - thanks Nell, I needed a good laugh!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, John, thanks for reading, glad I made you laugh! cheers nell

attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Hi Nell i see what you mean, you did go to town and gave that cloth eared bint a going over. I like m n m too, as his music has melody and great lyrics. My wife used to have client with tourettes syndrome and she would shout out whatever she actually thought. It's a good job you don't suffer from that terrible affliction. Very funnt though. Cheers

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, attemptedhumour, I sometimes think I do have tourettes syndrome! well, that's my excuse! lol

D.A.L. profile image

D.A.L. 5 years ago from Lancashire north west England

Hi Nell what a pleasure it is to read your hubs. There is so much humour involved in your talent. If it was not for that "voice in your head" we would have been denied this great piece. Best wishes to you

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, D.A.L, nice to see you! thanks so much for reading it, I do have these funny moments! lol take care nell

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK

Oh my god! I laughed so much at this! You're just like me! I surprise myself sometimes, it's like i've spoken before my brain has engaged! I have to say, I tend to lash out when I feel it's richly deserved. Here's an example. In Macclesfield where I live there seems to be a huge amount of scally blokes with numerous children and the status symbol 'staffordshire bull terrier' to make them look and feel 'hard'. I was walking Rupert my 3 legged dog in the park and saw two lads of about 18 throwing stones at ducklings. A red mist decended and I ran up to them telling them how disgusting and cowardly they were. They hurled abuse at me (surprise surprise) and said they would set their staffy on rupert to rip him apart. I said 'You must have an extremely small penis to want an aggressive dog like that' The looks on their faces was priceless! Naughty I know but I felt good after! Tara

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England Author

Hi, Peanutritious, Ha Ha! that's hilarious! I would love to have seen the look on their faces! brilliant! I am so glad that I am not the only one with a runaway mouth! thanks for reading, and the laugh!

Shinkicker profile image

Shinkicker 4 years ago from Scotland

Trust a woman to blame a man for her behaviour!!!! LOL

I like that expression 'residential rap star' it's got a ring to it. I think I've got a Punk Rocker in my head. Or maybe even a Death Metal vocalist screaming at daft lassies blasting out pop-tunes from their mobiles on the bus while I'm trying to read my morning paper.

Funny Hub Nell, keep fighting the good fight

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Nell Rose 4 years ago from England Author

Hi, Shinkicker, don't get me on the mobile phones! lol! if there's one thing I can't stand is young women nattering on about parties and boyfriends at the top of their voices when I am trying to get past with eight bags of shopping! haha! so yes I totally agree with you on that one! thanks for reading, cheers nell

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