Mary Hart Needs To Act Her Age, Especially Around The Jonas Brothers
I don’t know how anyone still watches Entertainment Tonight. I also don’t know how the Octuplet Mom became fodder for an entertainment show but apparently like the sideshows at the old carnivals she’s considered entertainment (to some). I also am amazed that Entertainment Tonight, The Insider and there’s one more that I can’t think of at the moment all run right after one another and they’re really the same show with all the same stories. Whether it’s Mary Hart yelling at you in HD or the other blonde chick yelling into the camera on the other show, I can only imagine that since they’re in a studio with no live audience that either they have a sinus problem or that they have ear buds in for the director to tell them what to say, they can’t hear and are screaming at us. But recently my television rested for a moment on Entertainment Tonight and there she was…Mary Hart. And she was more embarrassing than I remembered. Mary Hart needs to act her age, especially around the Jonas Brothers – Don’t Get Me Started!
I remember decades ago when I watched the show regularly, Mary Hart had to be singing every two days on the show as she tried to get her wraparound dressed self a music career (meanwhile her co-host John Tesh got the music career and the radio show – though why I’m sure I don’t know). She wasn’t a bad singer but honestly, outside a church of white people trying to sing gospel, I see no need to listen to Mary Hart sing. But that was thirty years ago when there used to be a show and now, much like the character “Lola” in the Barry Manilow classic, “Copacabana” ol’ Mary seems sort of sad as she tries to stay “hip” (without breaking one).
As she was interviewing the “Jo Bros” (something she shouldn’t have been calling them - but did continuously - because it seemed like some old lecherous grandmother who says she wants to feed you cookies but really wants to TOUCH your “cookies” instead) was zipping about with the boys on a Segway. As she tried not to fall, she continually called them “the Jo Bros” and said “Awesome” more than she should have been saying the word “Awesome” as it hasn’t been popular since the time when Bart Simpson first burst onto the scene with a well placed “Cowabunga, Dude!”
Look, if you’re going to write to me and bitch saying that I’m being sexist or ageist you can save your Cheetos stained fingers from dirtying your keyboard. I think Mary Hart is a pretty good interviewer but please, if she’s going to be interviewing tweens then just go ahead and conduct the interview as the adult in the room. You don’t have to stoop to their fourteen word vocabulary or act like one of the teen girls that run around after the “Jo Bros” all the while betraying yourself at every turn with a “this is like the crowd for the Beetles” as all three “Jo Bros” look around with vacant expressions not knowing what Beetles are other than bugs.
Finally, after watching most of the interview where they stayed for the entire episode I’d like to make a plea to the “Jo Bros” – now we all know that the old statistic is that one in every ten men are gay. (I think it’s much higher, especially with all the Pastors and Republicans getting blown by guys but let’s just go with that number for the sake of argument, okay?) I’m just hoping that one of the “Jo Bros” is gay. Now according to the blogs on the Web apparently there is one that is in fact gay (and dating an older man) but for cash and his Pastor father’s sake he’s staying quiet about it. Some say it’s Joe Jonas that is gay (wow, say that three times and tell me that alliteration isn’t fun) and if it is I say it’s time for the boy to start showing the way. I’m not a Perez Hilton fan or think that anyone should “out” anyone else, I’m just thinking what it would mean to young boys and girls who find themselves attracted to the same sex to have someone that everyone in their world looks up to and admires say, “It’s okay, I’m gay too.” Not in a big showy way but a quiet, no big deal sort of way. Some may think I’m taking this too far but there’s a lot of teen suicide among gay teens and maybe what they need is not a thirty-something Lance Bass to come out years after he was someone anyone knew and instead have someone who is popular and hot now show them it’s no big deal and shouldn’t be for them either.
Plain and simple, I think it would do a lot for young gays. The same way I think it would do a lot for women to see Mary Hart leave her trying-too-hard-to-seem-young-that-it’s-uncomfortable ways aside and become more of a Barbra Walters type. She can still have perky boobs and eyes (courtesy of her doctor) but for God sakes Mary, stop all ready with the trying to be twenty-two, you aren’t and we’re all okay with it and wish you were too. Mary Hart needs to act her age, especially around the Jonas Brothers – Don’t Get Me Started!
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An acquired taste, like Tab cola, Some Like It Scott is one gay man's experiences with love, life and things that make him crazy, all done to a musical theatre soundtrack.
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