MiniHub - I am a total wuss.

Yes, you did hear me right. I am a wuss. A complete and total wuss. I can admit it, now, too.
I'm not particularly scared of anything. Not spiders, not the dark, not even Linsey Lohan or Flying Spider Monkies from Mars.

No, I'm a wuss because when given a chance to succeed, I just hold back. I don't gun on forwards and take every opportunity I'm given. I sit back, quietly, waiting until one day everything will turn out alright. But when confronted with a task or chore, I do it straight away. No hesitation. Why? Why can I do seemingly unrewarding tasks without a moments thought but throw away chances of great success?

I don't even think I'm alone. Everyone seems to hold back. Casually cowering in the corner, just waiting. And waiting, then waiting some more. Hell I thought I was shy, but some of the people I've met, and assumed were outgoing just aren't.
But when using the metaphorical "edge", I'm far from it. But the action isn't here, where I am. It's at the edge. The edge is where you make it, or break it. Where you get the kicks. Where you find a fortune. I don't want to be caught behind, wondering what could have been. I just want to get up and go.

So now I've decided for good, I'm going to stop being a wuss. I'm going to do something major in my life, that I will enjoy. That I will be proud of. I've already started by joining the Police. Now I'm gonna try my very best. I'm going to be successful. But more importantly, I'm going to be goddamn happy. And you know what? It's worth the risk. It all is.

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Comments 21 comments

The Odd Spartan profile image

The Odd Spartan 5 years ago from Hamilton, NJ

Dude everyone has been here and I certainly know I tend to drift in and out of it every so often. But school and the love of my life keep me from feeling negative in any way and I am beyond thankful for them. Congrats on pursuing your law enforcement career and I truly wish the best for you man. Turn that pursuit of happiness into a hunt of happiness! Only YOU can make yourself happy. The juice IS worth the squeeze.

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Thanks for commenting Old Spartan!

You're probably right, I'm just finding myself and this might take me a while. It's just such a strange feeling. I felt compelled to a.) let it out, b.) see if anyone feels the same way and c.) announce it to myself so I might do something about it! Or maybe look at it in a different way. Ah well!

But excellent advice, thanks a lot!

mayhollinger profile image

mayhollinger 5 years ago

Your hub really shot straight to my heart. I hear you, I am in the same boat, or corner, cowering. I wish their was some way to push us, the cowards, forward towards our goals. Thanks for writing.

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

It's such a strange feeling really. I think in reality you just need to stop caring about what others think of you and more about what you want...That's what I've been trying to do the past few days anyway!

Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

HI Ryan, sorry for my delay!! I'm doing tons of spring cleaning and trying to change my house around, it's ENDLESSSSS!!!

I know what ya mean. I have started 2 things in my life that were VERY VERY important to me, and neither of which have got off the ground, so how can they succeed if they don't get started? Right!

One was I took Journalism before I went to college because I wanted to have MY VERY OWN NEWSPAPER! Mine mine mine! I started it, I had some friends send letters to it for my first publishing, everything! I'd done it all, my teacher LOVED my idea of naming it "The First Amendment" because it was going to be all about people writing in with their thoughts on everything! I had my first REAL publication to go! I had an old computer, a 286, it was slower than a snail in the winter! :P lol, But I NEVER could get my fliers put out, or give my cards I had made up, given out.. I was at a complete standstill!

Then (this is back when I was married) my husband said to me "I know why you're not doing it".. I, of course said "WHY?" (thinking, you Mr. Know it all) lol.. he said "you're afraid it's going to WORK and you won't know what to do next that's why"

Wow, did he know me or what!!! I thought about it, and that is exactly why I never could go put my fliers out, I couldn't get it off the ground. FEAR! But FEAR I WOULD MAKE IT? Strange..

Now, here I sit, I have a hub for the upcoming contest. It's finished, and it ends at a place where it could be an ongoing story! But it's just sitting there! I followed ALL the criteria to a TEE! My own photos, my own concept, everything MINE! I was going to write a children's book with it years ago and see if it'd take off! In my mind I could see it... oh the kids, they'd want to know what happened NEXT!

But.. there it sits.. done, ready to hit publish.. and well, the only thing I haven't done is bitten my nails to the quick!

How would it ever get off the ground and get a start if I don't start somewhere!

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Hi Kath! It's okay least your house is now nice and clean!

Well that sure is pretty unfortunate! Perhaps the reason you couldn't let yourself become successful is because the further you climb the further you think you'll fall? It's a shame because that sounded like a good idea!

Maybe you should just crack on and get through it? :) It's never too late is it?

I keep telling myself I'll get my car fixed...And I'll book my theory test so I can finally get my driving licence...But I keep putting it off...And off...And off. Perhaps I'm afraid of hard work (Although I work on the railway, it's all hard-work!), but the main reason I think is I'm just too scared I won't live up to my own expectations and will come out disappointed...Well that changes I'm doing it now!!

Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Well I can say yeah, I believe my ex was right, I was afraid it would become too big and I'd not know what to do! I was younger, like duh HIRE PEOPLE!! Work harder, get it to grow! Of course now I see that, but look, now there is the internet, so it's not much chance of it happening now unless I own my own server to give people the freedom of speech.

As far as the contest, nope, it's not too late, it's just sittin' there.. awaiting me to press that "publish" button! If it could stare it'd be staring back at me saying "WELL????" LOL

I think your theory on I'll get disappointed and I won't win not even the bottom prize, and well, I know there's lot of great writers out there, and mine IS different.. and I'm absolutely SURE it's NEVER been covered before! I mean, it's a one of a kind thing, and something that cannot be planned so I have that in the hole!

You however should get your car fixed regardless if you become a police or not, just for your own safety! I dunno, some people thrive on hard work and it gets them everywhere, and some people work hard and get no where. I feel like I'm one of those kind of people! Although I worked hard and I got my house! I did it myself! Here I sit in my own recliner, "I" bought, but it's not the same, nobody was in competition with me! Maybe that's it, you will be in competition with others to be a police, and I will in the writing contest. They are the same, and different. My worst outcome is losing, your worst outcome is losing to a criminal, so there's a lot more to lose.

I've won things before, contests, photo contests (like doesn't my new avi make ya want a big bite?)LOL.. Yep, I made it, and yep I won "photo of the week" as I have with others. I won a dart trophy, I won season money at pool, but I was a fill in. I didn't know I was good at either of those. I didn't even know I had won at darts until the little girl who was my teem mate ran up to me and said "it's your turn, hit 3, 20's and you get the high dart trophy! Well, people were wanting hot dogs at the stand, and she jumped behind and started taking over and said "go hurry they're waiting".. and I grabbed the darts and 1,2,3 right in the 20 small spot all three darts! Then I raced back to take over the hotdog stand. I heard her say "stay out there and get your trophy".. "HUH"? lol! But but.. they were drunk, I wasn't! Tomorrow when you get back, let me know how it went and if you did it, I'll post LOL.. j/k.. I'm going to post.. it is the fear of disappointment though.

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Well at least you've won competitions before Kath! I've not won the lottery yet but it'd be nice to ;)

Perhaps you're right in saying that you're more scared because you don't know what to do next...

I haven't fixed the car because i'm scared I'll end up breaking it. It's my first, and I've not even got a licence so even when it's fixed I can't drive it yet...

But I wrote a hub on procrastination and I suppose in some ways it relates to this subject!

I don't know why we're like this in the end though Kath, I really don't...Maybe we're just lazy ;) LOL

glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 5 years ago from Northern California

You may think that you're a wuss, but I think it's positive to take the time to make realizations like this and to set goals for yourself. Your next chance to take on these opportunities will be today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and so on. Good luck!

Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

I think Glass is pointing us in the right direction, now if only we get pushed over the edge... well, yeah I won, but I was young then. lol So don't wait until ya get too old, you get lazier. Sometimes more scared. Well, some do, maybe not you. ::ahemMEahem:: lol

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

You are right glassvisage very wise!! :) And thanks!

and LOL Kath surely you aren't lazy! You don't seem the lazy type :)

Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

Ha... thanks Ryan.. someone I barely remember put "ambitious" on classmates as "what they remember me as." It kinda felt nice someone said that. I think I'm either a total mental case (ok that's not even questionable lol) because there's SO MANY things I want to do, but no matter how early I get up and late I go to bed, there's just NOT ENOUGH hours in a day! My ex once told me I could never do anything without him. So I left him and bought a house. (the house is 10 rooms on an acre)LOL! That could be construed as "over-doing" it? lol! I think everybody procrastinates to an extent, but I don't think you're lazy either, maybe...MAYBE you're the same way. Too many things to accomplish. Um, whose that saying by.. let's see.. Oh yeah.. "TRYING, it's the first step towards failure" -Homer Simpson LOL! Only 2 things can happen to get you moving, fail, or get it done! (that was a push) :)

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Ahh Homer Simpson, a wise man who inspires us all!

Thanks for the push though Kath! :)

Hey perhaps you're right. Personally I've come to the conclusion that whilst I may not find the motivation to do every task, I care about who I am and what people think. That's what I am. That's probably who I am! I'll probably just accept that now though.

Or maybe my opinion will change (My favourite film changes like, every week!)

An Aberrant Taste profile image

An Aberrant Taste 5 years ago from Hamilton, NJ

You did great! Letting out what you feel is a good start. You are not a wuss, but someone that just needs to take your mind off of all of the negative things that come along with success, which is normally--failing. I've been in retail all of my life, since I was about 13 (yes, not a legal job per se) and still, I'm 20, and I am a service cashier/file clerk full time at a car dealership. Well, now I have found my metaphorical balls and found what I want to do. Sales. I will be starting next week. Trust me, I am shaking in my little red booties because it has a lot to do with customer interaction and knowing how to talk to people, but I figured, 'hey, if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work' there will always be things out there that aren't for you, but you'll never know until you try them! You can't go anywhere but up, and that's only if you LET yourself! So fill yourself up (with helium, of course) and float away! I wish you luck with all of your endeavors!

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Thanks Aberrant Taste! Really appreciated your little pep-talk! It actually helped a hell of a lot!

I hope you do well in sales, and I'm glad you got your 'metaphorical balls' and took that massive step!

Also, thanks for commenting :)

Naomi's Banner profile image

Naomi's Banner 5 years ago from United States

Everyone grows at their own pace. You cannot judge yourself by what others are doing. Some of us don't bloom until wait late in years. If your afraid of success then start out small. Achieve small successes and continue to challenge yourself a little more as you go until before you know it you are doing far above what you ever thought you would. Nice Hub and welome to Hub Pages.

Katharella profile image

Katharella 5 years ago from Lost in America

AAT seems to have a great attitude. Some people go through years of college changing their minds! Ya know Ryan, I bet you'll be that guy who, once chooses a calling (or yelling lol) then it'll be the thing you wake up everyday and are happy about getting to work. It's hard to find that job for people who end up actually looking forward to their day... who knows, maybe procrastination will pay off in the long run! Just don't stop running :)

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Haha! Thanks guys, it's nice to know what people think and that they've been in the same boat...But thanks for all the brilliant feedback!! It is very much appreciated from all of you :)

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

I enjoyed your hub and I like your positive outlook! I hope your mission is going as planned :)

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 5 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Thanks for commenting Sunshine :)

Scarlett My Dear profile image

Scarlett My Dear 5 years ago from Missouri

Are you done with this line of questioning yet, officer? Sorry I'm so late to the party!

So, you think you're a wuss. Or you thought you were yesterday. I know a little bit about that. I am forty-three after all, and for years thought I'd lived a life of mediocrity.

Then, I grew up a little and realized that, of course, I have, but I've also achieved some pretty great things. And, "pretty great" is good enough for me. What am I trying to prove and who am I trying to prove it to anyway?!

A Life Lived in the Absence of Fear

(Yes, I know it's also a Jewel song. Great minds and all that.)

Here's the thing, I don't know that it's humanly possible to live without some fear. It is the Human condition to struggle with our own mediocrity. The Human condition, however, is also perfectly balanced with our desire and our ability to rise above it!

YOU, Ryan, are talented! You're witty, intelligent and introspective. Three essentials in rising above mediocrity are right there in YOU and you're already using them. Even if you've only called them out to test the waters so far, there is no mistaking that you know how to wield those *powers*.

If only we weren't so worried with those pesky fear-driven, mediocre, eeyore kind of thoughts...

"Oh, bother! I'm... not... good... e-nough."

When you hear THAT little voice whispering over your shoulder or screaming into your nose hairs "You SUCK! You're WORTHLESS! You were born MEDIOCRE and you're gonna die MEDIOCRE!"... Just repeat after me (and Stuart Smalley)...

"Because I'm good enough.

I'm smart enough.

And doggone it, people like me."

In my experience...








Shapes your LIFE!

Be IT. Own IT.

And you will always be successful... in ANYTHING you do.



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