Movie Review - 2012 (2009)

If you haven’t seen this movie this review will be filled with spoilers. I am a disaster movie fan. I’m not picky about how they destroy the world just that they do it. Disease, Celestial bodies looking for a planetary booty call or the always popular human screwed it up scenario. The more widespread the destruction the more interesting it is for me. After chatting with some friends we decided to call such movies. Catastrophe porn. Thus making me a disaster fangirl. They thought disaster slut gave the wrong impression.

According to the Mayan calendar the world will end on the winter solstice in 2012. That means if you have anything important to do, you have two years to get it done as your chances of survival are going to be pretty darn slim. From what I’ve learned from this movie is that unless you are a billionaire and/or have a highly useable skill you can kiss your future goodbye.

Made by the same guys who did the Stargate Movie and Independence Day, the world gets nailed big time. Earthquakes, super volcanoes and tidal waves pretty much wipe out all the works of man rather thoroughly. The earth’s core is super heated by record solar flares that release some sort of radiation. And it all might because of some great galactic alignment.

The concept of the movie is based on the Mayan calendar which comes to an end on that date. Or we’ll enter a new age. Or aliens will land on the Nazca lines. There are many schools of thought and not all make sense. It’s all very confusing. Chariots of the gods redux.

For disaster effects, the movie fairly rocked. California drops into the ocean. Yosemite turns into a monster super volcano. Tidal waves and Tsunamis (they are the same thing) reaching the Himalayas. The magnetic poles shift. The South Pole is now somewhere in Wisconsin.

Don't you love how the radiation from the super solar flares seem to have no effect on anything else in the world. No global rash of sunburn or wilting plants. They call them neutrinos. I thought that had something to do with warp drives.

While the effects were great the characters were two dimensional and dull. John Cusack plays Jackson Curtis who is a divorced science fiction writer and limousine driver. I have never imagined Cusack as a sci fi action hero and he doesn’t quite measure up. Amanda Peet as his ex-wife did a better job in the Whole Nine Yards. Woody Harrelson’s presence in the movie added nothing other than a vehicle to put a map in the hero’s hands. Characters died and it had little impact. On the other hand Chiwetel Ejiofor as Adrian Helmsley was a pleasure to watch as a passionate scientist who actually cared about trying to save people.

Great arks are being built in the Himalayas. Tidal wave comes through. Afterwards I found myself wondering if I was watching Waterworld again.

It was a great watch but it could have been so much better. There is a rumor that there is going to be a series based on the movie. That should be interesting. Emmrich is probably miffed about losing the franchise on Stargate and is looking for a new vehicle.