Movie Spolier: The Last Airbender

Movie Spolier: The Last Airbender

The first airbender built a legacy that was difficult to live up to. He mastered the art of manipulating air, earning the equivalent of a graduate degree in airbending. Perhaps he ate at White Castle every day for year; we can only speculate as to the source of his airbending expertise. Where did he practice?

Airbenders provide a valuable service to the general population. These folks work to maintain the delicate balance between the 4 basic elements of the world: air, fire, water, and Oprah. The Last Airbender must learn his craft in Summer School because he didn't pay attention the first time around.

Life offers few hard and fast rules, but one generality we can generally depend upon is the blue forehead tattoo rule;

Never expect a kid with a blue forehead tattoo to save the world.

Naturally, the corrollary is;

To be fair, the kid probably has seniority at Starbucks and a cute apartment in Greenwich Village, but that's still a long way from being an airbender.

The Last Airbender shatters this maxim. Blue Tattoo Boy gets up to speed on the nuances of bending air and wire fighting. With the help of Merry and Pippin, he restores balance to the world without violating curfew.

Who is The Last Airbender?

The little fellow called Aang (no, that doesn't pass my spell checker either!) grows up in the suburbs. He enjoys playing with his Nintendo, watching Nickelodeon, and doing a little air bending on the side. He attends air bending camp where he is discovered by professional agents who convince him to go pro. Aang voluntarily gives up his amateur airbending status in order to save the world. He places an ad on Craigslist to find other benders. He teams up with a waterbender and Bender from Futurerama, forming the most formidable elemental bending squad since Penn and Teller.

What Actually Happens in the Movie?

Air gets bent. Water gets bent. Fire gets a little peeved, but fire was always a hothead as far back as anyone can remember. Aang saves the day. Elemental elements bend together in perfect harmony. Stand by for a sequel:

The Last Airbender II: The College Years.

Several AirBender spinoffs are in the works

The Last FairSpender: With restaurant tipping at an all time low, Aang takes a job at Applebees to restore balance to the retail food industry.

The Last SpareMender: Vandals litter roads with shards of glass: Aang masters the art of emergency radial tire repair and teams up with a rubberbender to restore balance to the highway system.

The Last WareSender: Aang puts up a BitTorrent peer on a fiber-optic pipe connected directly to the Internet backbone. He teams up with an HTMLbender and restores balance to software piracy.

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Comments 3 comments

Simply Redd profile image

Simply Redd 6 years ago from Canada

"He teams up with a waterbender and Bender from Futurerama, ..."

Good hub, made me laugh! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

It's amazing, nicomp, how much fodder an otherwise dismal movie served up for your creative touch. Especially enjoyed "air bending camp" and fire described as a "hothead."

You're the man as far as I'm concerned.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: I'm the man!

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