My Intex Pool Rocks

Zee Awesum Poolio!!!
Zee Awesum Poolio!!!

Last summer I ripped off Target, pretty bad too. But meh, it was their fault.

Yah see they went and placed an 18 foot round metal frame Intex pool on sale for $149.95.

Being June I figured this had to be an error, an error in my favor. See they got these laws that say if something is advertised as said price, thou mustif givith to me at that price. Normally this sweet gem ranges in the $500 and beyond prices. Prices my ass just can't afford.

Granted I could afford it, but we wouldn't be able to wipe our asses for months, we'd have to sacrifice toilet paper and eat Ramen noodles for the rest of the summer.

Eh hem...anyhow. When the dude rang me up at $499.99 I had to create a polite scene and pin pointed where they left the sign. 10 minutes later after watching a manager argue with an employee over the sign, I walked off with my pool. (Well I actually made some of the sexy employees carry it out for me, and rig it to the hood of my car. Man you should have seen those boys work. I wanted to tip them, really I did. But I just spent my last $150.00 on this glorious pool.

I did invite them over for a pool party though, tee-hee!

Man I felt rich. Granted the pool is as ghetto looking as they come, I could care less. I knew this deal of a lifetime would provide me with endless lazy summer swim days.

I got to work immediately. I was flying high with visions of my fat body flopping into this tracing paper thin pool. I hoped it didn't bust. Tee-hee... uh-duh.

Setting the thing up was a cinch, and frankly I was pretty damn surprised. A few click, click clicks of the white metal bars, and my pool was all set up. It took about an hour.

The only issue I have with it is the slim slender ladder! I mean hello, you seriously don't even have to be fat to get your ass stuck trying to go up these micro-steps.

I mean I know this pool is mostly for kids, but shit... us adult folk swim too... they could have widened the steps up a bit, made em more efficient for us larger butt-ed folk.

It took a good 24 hours of water waste-age to fill the pool up.

Anyhow once Big Blue was all filled up I asummed I could just flop right in. Well it turns out hose water takes longer than 24 hours to heat up to the air temperature.

I wanted a pool heater now. I checked craigslist, but people were trying to sell pool heaters for above ground pools for nearly $1,000. Hello!? Seriously?

Obviouslly I'm poor, thats why my pool is like a big giant ugly click and go puzzle.

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Comments 1 comment

trex 6 years ago

too funny! we have this getto pool too! and I could've written this. i feel bad for our neighbors who have to see it but we aren't rich either

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