My Life as a Male Stripper

That's not me.
That's not me.
I was supposed to be this.
I was supposed to be this.
Or maybe even play Hamlet. "Alas, poor Yorick."
Or maybe even play Hamlet. "Alas, poor Yorick."

How I Became a Stripper

Okay, the title is somewhat misleading. I was not a stripper per se. I stripped exactly one time as a part of a theatrical troupe I belonged to at the time named Lagniappe, a Cajun word meaning “an unexpected surprise.” What we did was party stunts, for the entertainment of the crowd. John Lovitz was a member of that group, and we thought he was a big goofball. As you know, he went on to stardom and the rest of us are either gone from show business or operating on the lowest most tattered fringes. One day, the founder of the group announced, “I got a call from the Cousteau Society today, and they wanted to know if we would send a male strip-o-gram to perform for the head of the New York office, Jacques Cousteau's daughter. Is anybody interested?”


Nobody jumped at the offer. Lot's of questions were asked though, especially “what's it pay?” I mean, if the money was right, lots of things might be done by a starving actor paying New York rent. This was at a time when all of us in the group had just graduated from the National Shakespeare

Conservatory, except for Lovits, and our iconic teacher Philip Meister had always said we should do the things we were afraid of to further our experience, which would contribute to our acting skills. No one was more afraid of stripping than I. So shy I was that I was uncomfortable taking my clothes off for a doctor, and when they start that hernia checking crap, the fiddling with my gravity locator spheres, well, let's just say I expected a nice dinner at the very least, and maybe a marriage proposal.

The Big Step Into My Disgrace

So I finally, perhaps regretfully, definitely meekly, I said voice a cracking, “I'll do it.” The group was slapping me on the back and congratulating me on my approaching embarrassment and demise, and it was then I realized I was doomed to a life of dirty sex and selling myself in Times Square. I couldn't sleep as the day approached. My nightmares were hideous, stinky old fat ladies with rotting teeth lining up for the newest whore in town for 5 bucks a pop. I knew to survive the ordeal I'd have to have a story, a theme, a plot if you will, something to turn it into acting. I could not take myself seriously. No strippers body had I. Just a normal guy. So maybe comedy was the answer. I called the guy who had booked me to see if I could get some information, anything I could latch onto and make a skit of sorts. And I think I found my answer.

Jacques Cousteau aboard the Calypso. The famous father of my stripping benefactor.
Jacques Cousteau aboard the Calypso. The famous father of my stripping benefactor.

The Plot Thickens (or is that engorges?)

He told me that she was having some unauthorized remodeling done to the interior of their rented quarters in the fancy high rise where they were located, including tearing down walls and Ms. Cousteau was terrified that the building managers would find out. That would be my catalyst. So I worked out a scene, including how she might react to any development and how I, in turn, would react to that. I practiced and practiced. What would I sing? I had always done a spectacular Elvis. Not the Vegas version, jumpsuit wearing, sweat flying, sequin popping, drug swallowing, side burn wearing, karate kicking version, but rather the young version, leather jacket wearing, girl fainting, hip swinging, rubber leg vibrating, sex oozing version. The Jail House Rock guy. My Elvis was spot on, both in voice and movement. It should have been. I was from Memphis and had started doing him when I was five. So Elvis it would be.

My Stripping Costume

The day arrived and I dressed in a suit and prepared my briefcase with it's secret stash. I looked like a young businessman as I walked across town to the Society. To say I was nervous would be misleading. I was trembling, but somebody once said the day you don't get nervous before you perform is the day your going to screw up. I arrived at the entrance of their office, took a deep breath and...took another deep breath and....come on, you can't just stand here all day taking deep breaths, you'll hyperventilate for crissakes, so I took another deep breath and knocked with only mild oxygenated dizziness.

The door to the office was opened by a secretary and I introduced myself as the building inspector. They knew the stripper was going to play the building inspector, so she automatically knew what to do. “Wait here,” she said, “I'll go get her.” She giggled and walked – nearly ran – down the long hallway to the big office overlooking the city.

This is what I looked like at the door of the Cousteau Society
This is what I looked like at the door of the Cousteau Society

I heard the secretary whisper into the office door, “The building inspector is here.” “What!” came the reply. “The building inspector...he wants to see you.” Quickly, Ms. Cousteau emerged from her office and made her way towards me. As she passed each office door, heads popped out to catch the show, knowing that the stripper had arrived. She introduced herself and putting on my smarmiest smile, I introduced myself as Michel LaCroix, Building Inspector.” I told her what I wanted. “I understand your doing some structural changes in here...would you mind showing me?" My shark smile got even larger. She led me down the hall and I could see the tenseness in her body and hear her brain clicking.

“Here,” she said, “We're tearing down this wall to.....” I cut her off. “Just a minute. I see lots of problems here already.” “What problems?” she said. I had opened my briefcase. “Well, first of all,” I pushed the play button on the tape player secreted withing my briefcase. Music from Elvis' “Treat Me Nice” began playing, and then I began singing. Her mouth dropped open. She couldn't understand why the building inspector was singing to her, but as I loosened my tie and took off my coat, it hit her: She was the proud birthday girl recipient of a baby male strip-o-gram. She covered her face with her hands and continued to watch the show between her splayed fingers. Laughing and enjoying herself and my spot on performance immensely. The group of people, who had followed us en mass to the scene of the crime did as well. In fact, seldom have I performed before a more appreciative audience. I stripped down to a muscle shirt with a dancing lobster on it and boxer shorts. Once, near the finale, I exposed my bottom to her and wiggled it. It was after all, my most pleasing physical attribute, but I never went any farther, instead going for the comedy.

If you've never seen Elvis sing “Treat Me Nice” it's worth watching and imagining - if you will - a stripping building inspector singing just like Elvis, attitude, voice, bedroom eyes and hips included, to Jacques Cousteau's daughter. From the film, Jailhouse Rock.

"Treat Me Nice" from Jailhouse Rock

I can't speak for you, but this is the only kind of stripper I want to see.
I can't speak for you, but this is the only kind of stripper I want to see.

A good time was had by all, though my heart was still beating at 500 mph, and I was invited to the following party. I attended briefly and had a drink, basked in their accolades and answered their questions, and had a wonderful conversation with Ms. Cousteau who called me, lovely, charming, talented and handsome. She didn't comment on my bum.  She was attractive though, and I wondered if there was any future for us, an out of work actor and the formidable head of The Cousteau Society.  Naw, I think not.  Perchance to dream.

Did the experience help my future acting? I'd have to say it did. I was asked to do a lot of things in the many years that followed as a professional actor. I still was nervous doing them, terrified in fact, but I never once balked, not once. Now I look back on all that stuff and think, "What a load of crap. I NEVER should have done THAT. Of course, I never did a strip-o-gram again, but I don't regret having done it. It has been one of my favorite stories to tell, lo these many years later.

Is this ever going to end?

At the rather persistent request of mistyhorizon, who felt I should post this in that it would have made a good stripping get-up for me in my stripping day (note the singular), I am posting it. Did I say she was persistent? More like rabid. Nag, nag, nag, she won't stop. Pus is running out my ears and all I hear is this incessant nattering with a Guernsey accent, which under ordinary circumstances would be pleasant, sexy even, but Noooooo, instead I get the harsh scraping of an incessant wasp, the drone and buzz and whine that makes one run for the hills, and so, here it friggin' is, so SHUT UP ALREADY!!

But seriously, I love ya', baby!

CHRIS:  There. Happy now?

MISTY:  LOL, nearly, but that isn't the same one as in the original version you were doffing your hat, (about to) in the picture "nag nag nag, whinge, moan etc".

CHRIS:  DOH! The hat doffing one? Oh gawd....!!!!!  Oh crap.  I'll have to go dig one out of a musty, moldy box in the basement...somewhere...(27 minutes later....) Damn! I got bit by a spider...probably a brown recluse.  Geez!  It hurts!  It's poison is working it's way to my heart.  I'll probably die and stuff, but don't mind me...I'll just see if I can get this stupid picture posted for you.

The Hat Doffing One
The Hat Doffing One

Chris:  Okay. There's the hat doffing one. Will there be anything else, Queen? Any messages to be delivered? Any battles to be fought? Shall I poison the Duke for you, or perhaps dispatch a dragon? Shall I feed you grapes?

I trust this is the picture you had in mind. Um...may I have the rest of the day off? I really need to go to the poison control center.

Misty:  Perfect at last, happy now, (please note big smiley face :) :) :D) ) Now just wait for the bookings to roll in.

Chris:  Glad you approve. For those wishing to "book" me, I can be reached at "The Mayo Clinic Poison Treatment Center," 200 First Street S.W., Rochester, MN 55905, 507-284-2511.




More by this Author


Comments 128 comments

billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

What a great ode to work experience. Wasn't sure this one was going with the village people/chippendale thing at the start. Great writing and enjoyed the hub. Michael LaCroix is a brilliant stage name btw :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

billyaustindillon: Thanks for the kind words. Glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment!


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

This was so entertaining to read, Christoph! You had guts, guess when I come to think of it, actors generally do have a lot of courage to play roles that are not always comfortable.

When living in NY, a few of us ladies took a co-worker to Chippendales, even an older woman joined us. I was a little shy,(I was in my 20's) I couldn't look at the dancers escorting us in, as they were gorgeous and not fully clothed, until we had a few drinks, and got into the mood,to cheer them on, I even gave dollar bills to the dancers. LOL! Those were the days! Chippendales was nice and clean, they didn't fully strip. I am pretty mellow now. My idea of fun, is a walk in the park and having a low fat ice cream. LOL.

Now off to watch Elvis.

Thumbs up!


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

You know when you get a HubPages notification that Christoph's written a hub that it's going to be fun! You never disappoint! Thanks for my Sunday morning laugh!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Hi Violet! You naughty, naughty girl! (clucking tongue) I had always heard that after the Chippendales performance, there was a bar which was open to the public, and men who went there had mighty fine pickins of the ladies who had just seen the show and were in various states of arousal. I never tried it though. Ha, ha! Maybe I should have.

I'm with you on the walk in the park and the ice cream. Sounds like fun! Thanks for your fun comment and the sordid details of you shady past! Ha!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Thanks old friend Shalini! Always a pleasure to see you. I'm going to be around a lot more now. I'll be sure to come by for a visit at your place, and Violet's too. Glad I gave you a laugh. I'm just getting warmed up.


Jewels profile image

Jewels 6 years ago from Australia

You are indeed a multi talented multi tasker Mr Reilly!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Hi Jewels: I meant to write you yesterday, or call even, to say hi, but got distracted. How are you? Let's talk soon.

I don't know if I'd call that talent. More like getting by by the seat of my pants...if I had been wearing pants. Har! Thanks for the comment and thinking I'm talented. I guess that hypnotism really worked!


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Christoph: Yes! After the performance we were invited to stay, as it was a nightclub with dancing and a bar and men were allowed, but we left though. LOL!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Violet: Sure you left, I believe you (snicker). No, actually I do. I should have tried it though, except I wasn't that lonely back then. Maybe you and I would have hooked up if I had! Ha, ha!


ltfawkes profile image

ltfawkes 6 years ago from NE Ohio

Thanks, Christoph, this was very entertaining.

L.T.


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Christoph, sorry can't stop laughing... with you, not at you... sorry 'at you' has to be the truth. This was way to funny once again.

kindest regards Zsuzsy


sabu singh profile image

sabu singh 6 years ago

Very funny and enjoyable read Christoph. Thank you.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

I need a strip-o-gram at 7pm sharp next Friday! Sing what you want and don't forget the dancing lobster. (I can't remember why I need one, but I'll have it figured out by then.)

Fabulous read! I loved it! You always deliver...gosh, I just didn't know you delivered so much! Thank you! :D


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 6 years ago

Christoph, I never woulda thunk it, but you never fail to entertain. And besides, I should have figured out by now that you have more skills than writing :)

You gave me an idea, I could write about the time I danced on top of a washing machine. Long story lol, perhaps another day.

Do you do private shows? :)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

Wow, that took balls man. Even if you didn't have to show them. I mean, if you did have to show them, that would have taken balls too. Literally, obviously, because you couldn't show them if you didn't have them. But I mean balls as in courage. That's what I'm trying to say.

And, I am so glad to see you back on here again. I LOVE your style and comfort with words. I had to stop and read a few parts to my wife they were so good. The gravity dectors thing was great, and:

"The group was slapping me on the back and congratulating me on my approaching embarrassment and demise..."

That's just good paradoxical writing. You rule! Great story.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

L.T. Glad you were entertained. Thanks

Zsuzsy Bee: Thanks so much for visiting. Always nice to see you and thank you for the kind words!

Thanks Sabu!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Pammy: Friday at 7:00, huh. Okay, I'll be there at 7:00 AM sharp with bells on...and a dancing lobster...and wiggling bum. Should I bring a bouncer or can you control yourself? And no sniffing!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Trish: Sure private shows can be arranged, but I'm expensive. Can you afford $7.50 plus cake?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Hey Shades: Thanks for the kind compliment. Still feel like I've got a lot of catching up to do. The humor and the writing is a little rusty, but getting there. Paradoxical writing? I had no idea.


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 6 years ago

hey Christoph!

I can do better than that, how about $10 with not only cake but champagne? :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Trish: Deal!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

Yeah, the comedic element of being "congratulated" for "embarassement and demise." Paradox and juxtaposition and all that stuff. You're like an artesian well of humor; it just comes out. (And I don't see much rust on this, dude.) How's your blog doing, btw? I keep telling myself I will make one, but know I probably won't.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

I am giving it a lot of attention, which it sorely needs. Over the past month or so, it has dropped from 2000 hits per day to less than 200, due entirely to inattention. Stories run their course, and if there aren't new articles to take their place, it will have disastrous effects. It's happened before, and with a little effort it will come up again. It is a time commitment, to be sure, and it can take time, sometimes two months are longer, for an article to catch on, where suddenly it rises from the depths into unbelievable popularity.


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 6 years ago

Good! name the time and place LOL


Jewels profile image

Jewels 6 years ago from Australia

A letter would have been warmly received. Been ages. Am working 4 days a week so may be reduced to skype type.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Trish: I'll check with my agent to see when I'm available.

Jewels: I'll write then, maybe tomorrow or late tonight.


Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Ah.. lemme dig in my purse.. there it is!! Do you take debit cards?? (for the strip.. then we'll discuss extra $$ for the humor!)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Candie: Sure, no prob. Lot's of extra's are available for a nominal charge, and sometimes they're absolutely free! Thanks for reading.


Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Nice!!! (Welcome back!!)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 6 years ago from Near the Ocean

Alas I'm sure I can't afford you! I'm thinking I'll have to crash Pam's to get look see at that famous bum of yours. Very much enjoyed, as always.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Can't afford me? Aww, I work cheap! And for you, anything, but you know that. Thanks so much for reading and the comment!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

Thank you Chris! You're true blue, but asking a woman not to sniff when in a situation such as this is like telling a kid not to stick his finger in cake icing. I'll do my best though. :)

Randy and her fabulous abs should come for sure! :) Leave your money at home. I get paid on Wednesday and money is no object! Well, money is an object, I've just always wanted to say that. BUT I can get my check cashed out in all ones and stack it in a really pretty pleather breifcase to make it look like a lot of cash. ;)

So Chris, the deal is a slick pleather briefcase stuffed (maybe not stuffed, but kinda half full or a third) with dollar bills (at LEAST $87.50), so stop saying you work cheap! lol! ;)


ACSutliff profile image

ACSutliff 6 years ago

Christoph,

And you never stop delivering! (Lol@ Pam!)

This hub is a stupendous addition to your collection. It even follows the same pattern of having more jokes in the comments to continue entertaining us. If you had been sitting beside me as I read this, you would have heard me say "Oh Christoph," while covering my eyes at least four times. (Don't be offended by that, I was merely trying to help my imagination along...)

Now, Reilly, you aren't trying to say that you operate on the fringes of entertainment?! How could you even imply that you are barely hanging on to the world of entertainment? Maybe I have missed something. Perhaps by fringe, you were referring to those loosely hanging, unraveled strips that so often adorn male strippers' places of work? In which case, I would have to agree, you do operate on the fringe of some very entertaining entertainment.

~AC


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

Ever since I have joined Hubpages I have lived with the dim hope of discovering virtues in you that are not immediately apparent to the casual observer. And I must say that to date it has been a waste of life’s springtime, without any sign on the horizon for even a modicum of success. To date you have left me cold and, please don’t take it the wrong way, speaking without prejudice and with no wish to be offensive, I would not have taken you as a gift to oblige a dying friend. In fact, for a small fee I would have happily murdered you and come and dance on your grave every Wednesday and Saturday. To date that is. Now, you have made me laugh out loud and I bless you Young Elvis! :-)))


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Pam: $87.50? Wowza! I feel like I hit the lottery! For that kind of dough, sniff away!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

A.S. Well, why wasn't sitting beside you as you read this then? When you covered your eyes I hope you peaked through your splayed fingers like Ms. Cousteau did!

No, by "fringes" of show business I meant at the very lowest...um...I mean, what you said. Yeah! That that thin strip male stripper adornment thingy. Yeah.

Thanks for the comment, kid!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

De Greek: Ahem. When you say you would happily murder me and dance on my grave every Wednesday and Saturday, how small a fee are we talking about? I'm worth $87.50 you know.

By the way, the last hubber who threatened to murder me was Rockin' Joe, and he disappeared for a year. I'm just sayin'.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

Haha Christoph - saw that on Hubfeed and I just had to come over. You can make him disappear? As in 'Poof!....gone?' Wow!!!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

Is that it? Is that all you can come up with after my brilliant repartee? I am shocked! I expected a lot more from the Great Christoph.

Next time I'll just write "Great hub" and be on my way,then :-(

And what's Hubfeed, do you know?


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

sumtin' that feeds on duh Greeks :D


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Shalini: Thanks for the visit and your support..especially during these trying times. Surely you remember the Rockin Joe death threat? It's detailed and proven in my Hub, Rockin Joe Wants to Kill Me. Feeds on De Greeks! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

DeGrak: I haven't time for verbal repartee at this time due to my rather late night battle with a nasty computer virus attack. It took three hours - till the clock stuck 6:00 AM - for me to chop it's head off with my trusty sword. Now I am pressed to write and submit my newest column, The Adventure Guy, to Copia magazine, who actually pay me for my skills and never insult me with jealous put downs to make up for their own inadequacies. I'll be back later with both Epee, foil, and dagger, so choose your weapons, Sir! May I suggest Epee and Dagger?


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

How about a simple pencil? :-)

And just like you not to appeciate an intelligent compliment :-)))


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

So nice to see you back and rockin'...you may please do that Elvis thing for me, any time. My name is not Cousteau, but who knows what it really is?

Love your writing and the back and forth it generates. Glad to see you here.


ACSutliff profile image

ACSutliff 6 years ago

Wow, Reilly,

I leave a comment and go to the movies, and by the time I get back, I have missed 9 comments! How humbling!!~ You sure do have many devoted followers.

Any time, Christoph. Oh, and if you do decide to meet DeGreek in an abandoned alley in Italy, make sure you take the katana from my fireplace mantel with you. It will surely protect you. Oh and watch out for his "one step back" move, it's a doozy!

De Greek, since I was your fan first, but have come to love both of you, I must say that I wish you both success in the coming duel! That of course means that you both need to knock each other out at the exact same time. Or I will be mad at both of you!


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

Great Story--I wish I was there, I would've given you a standing O.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

DeGreek: Please, enough of the dramatics. I certainly do appreciate an intelligent compliment, and yours too.(Touche') Okay,okay, thanks for the compliment.

Sally: Nice to be here. I'm quickly getting booked, but you know I'll fit you in somehow. (And I certainly do know your real name, as you know, but it shall remain a secret.) Peace on Earth and pass me some of your soup!

A.C.: I have been here much longer than you, my dear. You'll catch up and surpass me, I have no doubt. You would route for DeGreek? I am heartbroken.

Paradise: You sweep through like a gentle tropical breeze, smelling of coconut and suntan lotion. Intoxicating, and it makes me crave a coconut cream pie. Thank you for visiting and the nice words!


ACSutliff profile image

ACSutliff 6 years ago

Well, gosh,

I was trying to remain impartial, but if you must make me choose sides, then you know I would back my biggest fan.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Ha, ha! It's okay, you don't have to pick one. Were not going to dual anyway. We actually like each other...I think.


Candie V profile image

Candie V 6 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

OY! The money-waiving-female line is growing by leaps and bounds.. I can outlast all of them!!!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Candie: Easy ladies! There's enough Michel LaCroix for everybody!


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

Christophe, as always, your writing is fantastic! I want to write a long comment about a student, but I have a friend demanding my attention. I may come back later...or maybe I'll do a hub on it and dedicate it to you!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Mysterylady: Um...how about both. You're not going to tease me about coming back and then not show up are you?

Thanks for the really nice words. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment so thoughtfully! Hmmm, I must dedicate something to you!


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

I'll tell you about my student first. Hw was quite brilliant and -- I thought -- rather shy. When I had group performances, he starred in EQUUS, and, though not a drama student, showed tremendous talent. When he got to the nude scene, he began stripping. I thought, "Oh my, what am I to do?" Quickly I decided to trust him. If he bared it all, so be it. He stripped all the way down to his underwear! Whew!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Ha! Hw was wise beyond his years, or perhaps crippled by embarrassment as I was. But heck, it was high school, yes? Would they even allow nudity? The man who designed the movement of the horses for Equus on Broadway, the choreographer if you will, was my movement teacher in New York. Gawd, the things he could do! Taught me a lot too.


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

I am so, so impressed that you learned movements from a choreographer for "Equus" and that you met Cousteau's daughter. Wow!

The most famous person I ever met was Pat Conroy. I sat next to him on a plane after he had spoken at an English conference. Have you read any of his books? I love them.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Mysterylady: No, I have never read him. Seen a couple of the movies, of course. The Great Santini was on just the other night, but I couldn't watch it. I find it...um, uncomfortable. I should read the book.


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

My favorite is "Prince of Tides." You MUST read the book. As a teacher I loved his earlier "The Water is Wide." Though none of my business, I wonder why Grear Santini" was uncomfortable.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Mysterylady: Now this is very mysterious indeed. I've just returned from dinner at a certain X's house (I took a gourmet dinner with me for us,) and wonder of wonders, she gave me a couple of books to read. (It is our habit to give each other books after we have read them.) Would you believe one was "South of Broad," by Conroy? I almost fell over! Did you do that to me? Some kind of funky witchcraft?

As for Santini, it was quite a while ago I saw it, and my recollection is that Duval (as the character) was such an over-bearing and cruel father, that it made me uncomfortable. Very, very powerful though. Just didn't feel like putting myself through any heavy emotion that night.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Excellent Hub as always Christoph. I only came across it by chance. So funny, and I loved the picture of the events that your words inspired my imagination to produce. Wonderful, (still missing your cowboy hat avatar though, so appropriate for this kind of topic LOL).


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Did you want to see a stripping cowboy, Misty? Naughty! Thanks for the great comment...and support!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

LOL, why not, a stripping cowboy sounds pretty sexy to me. You should add that picture to the bottom of your hub so others who never saw originally it can understand why I reckon it would have been ideal for this kind of topic. What do you reckon?? ;)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

But...but...I'm not naked in that picture. Maybe I'll make one especially for you and send it privately...but don't let hubby see it! (Actually, I would NEVER do that. I have too much respect for you! LOL!)


film critic profile image

film critic 6 years ago

So the shaking bum was the Lagniappe...


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

film critic: Hmmm, I'd like to think the whole building inspector turning into a stripper as the Lagniappe,but you have a point. Let's call it the cajon spice on top! (or bottom, as the case may be...)


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

I haven't yet read "South of Broad." If it is like his other books, including "The Great Santini." it is somewhat autobiographical. Conroy's father was a harsh, domineering a-hole.

Yes, you guessed it. I am a bit of a witch.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

? Wooo hooo witchy woman, see how High she flies

Woo hoo witchy woman, she got the moon in her eye ?


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

Watch out! I am polishing my broomstick, ready to fly your way!

Btw, did you ever read my response to your comment on my "Better than Sex Pie"?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

LOL, no, I don't want the naked version of your picture dressed as a cowboy Christoph, my imagination (and everyone else's) can do the rest. Just the head and shoulders would do just fine, (as well as reminding me of the time when a whole load of us got ourselves photoshopped into your profile photo wearing your cowboy gear, much to the bemusement of those not in on the joke who logged on to your hub only to find virtually every poster was wearing the exact same outfit, hat etc as you were in your profile pic. That was so funny, truly!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

God, I forgot about that. It was really funny. I never felt so made fun of...or loved. The cowboy picture can still be viewed on another hub at the top, HERE: http://hubpages.com/entertainment/Help-Me-Choose-M...


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Excellent, I hope all those folk reading this are now curious enough to go take a look see at the very sexy picture of you in your cowboy hat.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Of course, it's the defaced version like they do in school yearbooks, with the arrow through my head and some blacked out teeth. Ha, ha!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Oh no, that isn't any good, I want the sexy version, (stamps foot and pouts) :(


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

I'll send you one. Autographed, if you like. Hey...I think I will! Will you get in trouble?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

LOL, no, I won't get in trouble, but you will be depriving countless women here on hubpages from seeing how gorgeous a stripper you could be if you chose that very same gear to wear :) (swoons privately)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

You are slightly delusional (but I appreciate it.) Are you growing poppies out back?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

LOL, no, can't grow poppies, too many veggies in the way, so no delusions here, you just need to humour me and add the original image to this hub so that you can share your sexiness and stripper potential with the masses of frustrated women (as well the rest of us) here on Hubpages :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

There. Happy now?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

LOL, nearly, but that isn't the same one as in the original version you were doffing your hat, (about to) in the picture "nag nag nag, whinge, moan etc".


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

DOH! The hat doffing one? Oh gawd....!!!!!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

There. You sure there's not a different one? Maybe doffing a hat AND dropping my drawers?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Perfect at last, happy now, (please note big smiley face :) :) :D) ) Now just wait for the bookings to roll in.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Glad you approve. For those wishing to "book" me, I can be reached at "The Mayo Clinic Poison Treatment Center," 200 First Street S.W., Rochester, MN 55905, 507-284-2511.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Hopefully the bookings will arrive after the swelling has gone down!..... Actually, perhaps you would be more successful if they booked you while the swelling was up, depending on where you are swollen of course LOL.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Hey, I never thought of that! Maybe I should go back to the basement and look for that brown recluse spider!


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest

I've only exchanged a few comments with you before now and when I read this, I said to myself, yeah I could picture him doing that. How do I know you so well? So you didn't get me on the shock factor, but you got an A+ for entertainment.

Cousteu's wife- wow. I grew up watching her husband and I even sing my little 3 yr old daughter to sleep with "Calypso" by John Denver. Somehow I'll have a different picture in mind from now on.

We should compare notes- I think I've done more or less for more or less. lol. Great hub! Thanks for a laugh.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

That spider could make you a millionaire, well, a Dreamboy or Chippendale at least!!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Issy: Hmmm, how do you know me so well? Cause I guess I wear my heart on my sleeve. Ha! (I's better put it back; my doctor warned me about that!) Thanks for the A+ too.

It was Cousteau's daughter, not his wife, but Of course I'm tickled you'll think of me when you sing Calypso, but I don't know if you should think those things in front of your child...maybe when you're in a bubble bath or something?

You've done more or less for more or less than I? Oh yes, we MUST compare notes!!!

Thanks for your enjoyable comment!

Misty: I found the spider; it was dead. Looks like I poisoned HIM.


spryte profile image

spryte 6 years ago from Arizona, USA

Christoph *hug*!

I just love your life stories...LOL! Just the fact that you PREPARED for this gig ...it was so....you! :) I found myself clapping my hands together like a giddy little child being given a favorite treat. Thank you!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 6 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Am I too late for the show? At least, a tip o'the hat?

Please, Pepe, please, please!

It tickles my little hubber heart to see so many of the "old gang" showing up here.

Then again, they (ok, "we") always were a perverted bunch! Glad to see some things don't change!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Spryte: Of course I prepared. I was scared shi-less! I love your comment! It's so YOU. Better than anything on this page, honestly. Your style and grace are like a beacon. So....what happened in Vegas, hmmm? Thanks so much for the visit. It put a sparkle in my eye and a flutter in my heart! (which means I need to take my meds!)

Oh...I was sent a link by a friend to a humor piece by that guy - David Thorn is his name - that you turned me onto. His hysterical series of emails? have you read this one about the missing cat, Missy

http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html?

Had me rolling!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

MM: How nice to see you! It's interesting you would say that about the "old gang." I was just reading a book that got me to thinking about that very thing, and I thought how difficult it would be to explain to new hubber what it was like around here in this echo chamber back in the day. Lawd, how naughty and funny we were, and what fun we had!

Thanks so much for dropping in! And thanks to for the comment!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Isn't it just great to see some of the old crowd all in one place again. Somehow hubpages seemed more fun in those days, (although I still enjoy it now).


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Misty: Yes..a part of it anyway, but remember how we'd all be at on a hub at the same time, shooting comments back and forth? That was something!


spryte profile image

spryte 6 years ago from Arizona, USA

OMG...roflmao! I hadn't read Missing Missy, thanks for sharing that link. Being at the office, I had to keep slapping my hand over my mouth to keep from squealing out loud (especially with the movie poster and the basset hound with no legs used as a remote control toy). Does this mean I have a truly twisted and sick sense of humor?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Spryte: Ha, ha! I thought it was hysterical and have sent it to lots of people, and posted the link in a few places too. Yes, you do have a sick sense of humor, and I do too! Some of the subtlety was brilliant too. When he was explaining the first poster and said the cat "was occupying the negative space," I cracked up. It's so "Art Designer."


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida

Reading your stuff is one of the things I miss most when I am not on here. It's been a while, and this is just what I needed to remind me why I love this place!!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Anna: ...and your visit reminds me of what I was missing about this place! So great to see you! I've just returned recently and am still in the process of saying hi to all my old friends, so a big HI to you! A sight for sore eyes, for sure! Thanks for dropping in. Next time, stay for dinner!


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 6 years ago from Florida

Does dinner come with a show? Repeat performance, perhaps?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

I think you'll want the Executive Package: Dinner, Private Show, Dessert with the Star.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

I just had to come back after finally getting around to following that "Missing Missy" link you posted http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html Christoph, it was hysterical and I laughed all the way through it. I was so impressed I even emailed the link to about 10 of my friends. Thanks for sharing it.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Your welcome. I think it's outrageously funny too!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Actually I bookmarked his site, and since then have been back and read some more. They are all brilliantly funny and I loved the one about the Flat Warming Party, you should so read it if you haven't done before.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

I've read many of them, Misty, but not all, but have the Flat Party. Yes, they are very clever and hilarious! There's some interesting stuff about the writer on the Internet, David Thorne. Google him and see.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Took your advice and Googled him. Wow, he is quite a celebrity isn't he. Fascinating to read more of his background, especially as I have just spent a very amusing hour or so reading more of the articles on his site.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Yeah, I was surprised with all of it too. It's a great example of somebody becoming famous(kinda) from posting some funny stuff on the Internet, though his stuff is exceptionally funny.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Amazing, but he sure deserves the fame.


meow48 profile image

meow48 6 years ago from usa

and i thought working at a Krystals restaurant on the UT strip was tough every saturday night, wowow. impressive.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Yeah, Meow, but did you do it in your undies?


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada

I'm smiling...actually, more like laughing. This is quite the story and I can just visualize you singing and dancing! I'm not laughing at the thought of you doing this, just at how crazy and hooting those women must have been! You're the man!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

Hi Beth! In this case, you SHOULD be laughing at me singing and dancing. That's one of the things that made it so funny, not that I can't do those things, but doing them will taking my clothes off is a new one on me! I can't even visualize myself doing this! The more serious I was about it, the funnier it got.


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA

LOL, you are too hilarious! TOO HILARIOUS! That's all I can say.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis Author

kaltopsyd: If you really want a laugh, book me for a private show in your home. I'm sure your mom will like it!


kaltopsyd profile image

kaltopsyd 6 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA

Um... no thank you. hahahaha.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 5 years ago from St. Louis Author

Can't say I blame you.


To Start Again profile image

To Start Again 5 years ago

I am totally expecting a stripper gram for my birthday. Its in August. I'll be waiting.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 5 years ago from St. Louis Author

But my birthday is in August too, so I'll expect you to return the favor.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

Thought I popped in on a hub... shit I don't even remember what w called them! It has been too long I guess. Hubjacking?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 5 years ago from St. Louis Author

Hi Randy. Well, hubjacking is where a group of people attack a hub at the same time, making many comments back and forth to each other, usually without the writer of the hub present. I would say what you did was hubpeeked. Thanks for the peek! Happy Valentine's Day!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia

LOL! Peek-a-boo hubbing! Love it! And I'm glad it happened cause I got to read this one again. ;)


To Start Again profile image

To Start Again 5 years ago

Pam! I didn't know you were on here again!! :) I'm going to find you right now...

Oh and Chris- I will return the favor but I will need to borrow your Elvis tape. I have one of those big plastic Elvis hair hats so I won't need to borrow your hat, just the tunes.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

I think its a hub-revival!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 5 years ago from St. Louis Author

Something is amiss. Hi y'all!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Wicked, I loved this Hub first time round too :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 5 years ago from St. Louis Author

Something wicked this way comes...Howdy!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 5 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

It is always a pleasure to touch base with you Christoph, well wicked ;)


Patricia Costanzo profile image

Patricia Costanzo 5 years ago from Behind the Redwood Curtain

Wow, just like old times. Chris surrounded by women.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 5 years ago from St. Louis Author

Yeah. I must be dreaming. I thought I saw Patricia Costanzo a second ago!!!!!!!

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