My Retirement Plans
All this talk about the demise of Social Security has made me think. I started to think about retirement plans and what I am going to do. I have no 401k, no rich husband, no poor husband, no stash of cash and nothing but my wits and good looks...something that along with $4.50 will buy me a latte at Starbucks.
So, what to do, what to do. I thought about some of my options and came up with three: Homelessness, Prison and a bamboo hut in Belize living off of Hub-pages. You think I'm kidding? Well, here are the proverbial pros and cons.
I thought about traveling the world and seeing all the places I've never seen, sleeping in the great outdoors, being accountable to no one and having more freedom than a person could shake a stick at. Sounds like a dream...this is the homeless option! There are definitely benefits to homelessness. There is no one to tell you when to get up, when to go to bed or what to do, you are free as a bird. The only problem with homelessness is that you are also free to starve or freeze to death. So I'm not too sure that this would be an ideal retirement plan. But, then nothing is perfect so let's look at my second alternative.
My second plan is Federal Prison. I know, I know you might say how awful and it is but let's look at the facts here; free medical care, free room and board, lots of companionship and you can even get a law degree. Now I thought I would look into federal prison because I've always heard of the term Club Fed for all the politicians who got sent up the river so to speak. I hear those prisons are pretty swanky so I thought if I am going to make this a retirement option I would definitely seek out the more accommodating surroundings. I also figured you really wouldn't have to do something too terribly bad to get put in a Federal Prison..something like holding up a Post Office or some other federal building...that should do it and if I happened to enjoy my surroundings should I come up for parole I would just tell them I would do it again. I think of everything! In any case this is definitely an option..who knows maybe I could try the free wheeling homeless retirement plan and then when I get tired of that go to plan B..Club Fed.
OK, my last but not least option otherwise known as Plan C is retiring on some tropical island in some bamboo hut while wiling away the hours writing hubs. I think this is a pretty good plan but there is only one problem....I'm not sure if those islands have internet access, and if they didn't it would throw a wrench into everything! The couple of bucks I make from Hub-pages would pay for my incidentals and I could enjoy the sand and surf with the best of them.
Whatever your retirement plans are I hope they do not include Social Security as we all know that probably won't be an option. You say you are depending on your 401k's? Well, last I heard the government was going to start dipping into that pot, yeah your pot, too. I think you'd better start making your plans like I have, and feel secure in knowing that security is an illusion anyway. All these plans we make and we might just get hit by bus tomorrow while crossing the street!
Start saving for your retirement, write for Hubpages!
**If you would like to earn money writing for hub-pages click here:http://hubpages.com/_earnmoneywriting
Related articles by Brie Hoffman
- Retire On Less Money Than You Think by going Off the Grid!
A lot of people put off retirement because they think that they need some ridiculous amount of money to live on. You can retire now with very little money if you go off grid. The reason I say this...
- How much money does it take to go Off-Grid?
How much Money does it take to Go Off Grid? There are 10 things that you need to consider when going off grid. water land shelter food communication power warmth ...
- Social (IN)Security
January 1st 2011 marks the date when the Baby-boomers turn 65 and can start drawing on social security. The major news media have started pounding the proverbially drum regarding the demise of social...
- 21 Steps Towards Fixing the United States of America
Abolish the Federal Reserve & the IRS and give the power to create money back into the hands of the duly elected Congress. Legalize and Tax all drugs, see my other hub for more information on this...
- How To Survive Unemployment & Actually Save Money
I have been unemployed for some time now. Surviving unemployment requires a certain mind set. The very first thing you should strive for is an attitude adjustment. When the real unemployment rate is around...
Do you have enough money to retire on?See results without voting
Government to confiscate 401ks & IRAs
- Government To Confiscate 401(k)s and IRAs For Mandatory Savings Tax?
Under the pretext of combating the financial crisis, Democrats in Congress have been conducting hearings on proposals to confiscate private retirement accounts and turn them into government-controlled accounts managed by the Social Security Administr
More by this Author
Are TV Commercials and Ads driving you crazy? Do you want to know how to eradicate them from your lives? Read on and find out how.
So you think that all things Disney are just innocent movies and theme parks aimed at entertaining children? Think Again!
Times are hard and getting cash can be even harder. Here are 30 practical ways to get money in one day or less, online and off, needing little or no money to invest.