My Wife’s Ass

May I just point out the little “e” next to my HubPages Profile picture and the hair rising caption “HubPages Elite” under my name? I have just been informed that I have been selected to be in this prestigious group, one of just only six mind you, and I feel like the Queen has knighted me. In consequence I shall no longer write frivolous and superficial hubs, but concentrate on stories which are calculated to Educate, Elevate and Cultivate, in line with my new prestigious title.

I have been on HubPages for some months now and have been fortunate in making a great number of friends here. Those of you who got to know me during this time know that the De Greek clan has considerable similarities to George Washington. More specifically, just like Washington, we cannot tell a lie. It is a great burden, I know, but there you have it.

I mention this not for the regular visitors who know me, but for any newcomers who might happen to be persons of bad faith and who might doubt my claims about my wife’s Ass. I use a capital ‘A’ advisedly when I write the word, because it’s HUGE!

I have no doubt that there are men of a lesser sort who would act differently if they were married to a wife with such a gigantic one, but the De Greeks are not amongst them as we are a gentle and tolerant breed of men who regularly read Schopenhauer. That in itself should speak volumes to you, but even we have our boundaries and our limitations and we draw the line at such an ENORMOUS one.

In fact, though the De Greeks are known to be men of steel with strong domineering natures supported by iron determination and incisive minds, we are, in truth, pussy cats when it comes to our loved ones and we tend to roll on our backs to have our tummies scratched whenever the situation presents itself. I know that Genghis Khan was the same.

Most of you know that my wife and I are from Cyprus and as is the custom in quaint little backwaters such as ours, we were betrothed prior to puberty, before we were fully developed and became aware of what was really good for us. And because the union was arranged by a professional match-maker, my wife and I did not meet each other until our wedding day.

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Those of you of a certain age will remember that in our day it was customary for brides to wear those long Victorian wedding dresses with the large extension at the back over the bottom, which gave a rather curvy, sexy and attractive appearance to the lady’s rear. She made a very attractive bride I remember and I could not wait for the honeymoon to start.

Little did I know at the time what awaited me and the amount of shock, surprise and grief her Asss would cause me. In fact the very next morning after our wedding night, I opened the window and called out to the matchmaker across the street and told her a number of things about herself which, while undoubtedly not news to her, must have been painful hearing nevertheless. Even to one such as she, who was used to hearing the unrestricted vocabulary that is the favorite in our village to this very day amongst the more unrefined element of the village. The ones living on the other side of the tracks in effect.

Of course my new wife later chose this specific incident to harp on continuously, setting aside my own legitimate grievance, in line with what I later learned is the practice prevalent world wide as far as women in general are concerned. No female life appears to be complete unless the party of the second part gives in to what seems to be a call of the wild, following which the female proceeds to torture her loved one to the point of watching him squirm in absolute humiliation, lost to all shame.

In a situation where the female of the species should be feeling nothing but mortification and embarrassment for her dastardly deceit, she proceeds instead to heartlessly and callously tear the innocent party of the first part to a million pieces and dazed and confused the poor chump begins to apologize instead of standing up against the inhuman deceit he has suffered.

And if you think that a blameless past is any defense against such female deviousness and cruelty, you have another thing coming. There is the poor male waiting for a lifetime to lay an unblemished heart at the feet of what he thinks is the love of his life, a heart full of the denied passion of a lifetime, only to have it kicked like a soccer ball by his love interest. Something like Akirchner-The-Insane-One” in her soccer hay days. Women simply wait patiently until love wakes in our hearts and we are even ready to try our hand at poetry, or we are ready to show off by diving off the springboard, only for them to remove the water from the pool while we are in mid air.

But I digress. For those of you who do not know our part of the world, let me just tell you that Cyprus is famous for it s big asses. In fact, when the Greeks want to specify something REALLY big, they refer to it as a Cyprus asss. Seriously. So had I known that my wife had such a big one, I would never have entered into this union, despite the childish and innocent love I bore her.

There we were, alone at last in the old house my new wife received as a dowry, with our newly bought bedroom furniture, two innocent virgins ready to experiment. I removed her top and I felt that God loved me and was kind to me. Then I removed her skirt and I received the shock of my life! The most atrocious braying began to emanate from the barn downstairs where her asssss was kept. The ground floor was always used as a barn in those days and that is where she kept it. And because it was such a big one, its braying was proportionally immensely loud. Not only that, as if by some perversion, every time I tried to touch my new wife, it seemed to sense it and began to bray more incessantly. This went on all night and though we tried to drown the sound with some classical music to put us in the mood, I can assure you that Bach and braying do not go well together. That witch of a match-maker had insisted that the donkey be part of my wife’s dowry and my father-in-law was only too glad to get rid of it!

Suffice it to say that it took us eight years before we managed to have our first child, so do you blame me for being upset?


Dimitris Mita

De Greek

More by this Author


Comments 105 comments

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Ohh...you !!


someonewhoknows profile image

someonewhoknows 6 years ago from south and west of canada,north of ohio

I take it your wife's biggest asset is mot her best asset.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

You poor things -- both of you --. Go to church and into the confession box and confess, "Father, I have lied to my readers." and do the penalty hahaha Great wrting and a joy to read.

Congratulation to be chose for the Elite Club.


TruthAwake profile image

TruthAwake 6 years ago from The Dirty South

Haha. Congrats on the elitism!


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

Congratulations DG...does your elite status mean you can write about things like your wife's ass and not have it removed by the HP powers-that-be? :D


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

An ass-stouding declination deems an exclusionary demeanor upon yourself DeGreek,I dare say,Lol;)


hafeezrm profile image

hafeezrm 6 years ago from Pakistan

Congratulation. Being elite you can do anything and get away with it.


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 6 years ago from new delhi

well well well I am glad i found fellow sufferer except that my wife's ass was cleverer .The ass waited till we had had two children before it decided to get hyperactive. by that time of course my wife was so convinced I was an ass that there was not much the ass could disturb.

superbly written


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Very funny! Congratulations on your Elite status.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- Melinda, My Love, I missed you :-)))

- someonewhoknows - Welcome here :-)

- Hello, I shall go to confession immediately! :-))

- TruthAwake, it may very well be a very short term period :-))

- FP, regrettably it means no such thing. On the contrary, it may mean that I am going to be under a microscope. But how could I resist a dig like this, especially after what they did to my wife's pussycat story??? :-))))

- Brother Mentalis, good to see you. :-))

- hafeezrm, I don't know that I have got away with it as yet :-))

- neeleshkulkarni good to see you here. Welcome :-))

- Pamela99, let's see how long it will take before they kick me out..... :-))


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Yup, I knew it, we will be in stitches whenever you're going to roll out your nugget hub...

As far as your wife's ass is concerned, ship it over here so I don't have to cut all that grass anymore...

hahaha you're a very devious man Sir Greek, funny but definitely devious

loved it

kindest regards Zsuzsy


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

If only I knew what a nugget hub is and how to roll it out, Zsuzsy :-)))


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 6 years ago from South Africa

LOL! You almost got me! Congratulations with your new title. Do we have to call you ‘sir’ from now on? I’m looking forward to your EEC-hubs. (Please note my politeness.)


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

LOL!!! How do you come up with devious articles like these? You have a good imagination! Congrats on being the elite status, now I get to rub elbows with the elite ones. :)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

'

- Martie, that's the spirit, just the right amount of reverence for us Elite. You may curtsy when we meet, but not the full one as you would do to the Queen. :-))

- Violet, one day you must tell me how it feels to rub shoulders with the Great! I envy you Child. What I would give to be in your shoes and to have me as a friend! :-)))


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Ah, Dimi - you led us down the Primrose Path with the ASSumption by ASSociation that you were writing about an ASS of another color.

But I forgive you since every ASSpect of your story was ASStonishingly funny and even ASSecxual as far as I can ASScertain.

FYI - my hub, Tale of Two Cocks, was once banned but then returned to life when I explained the subject matter. So if any higher power gives you any sASS, just mention my name.

On the other hand, after Fokk University, maybe not!!! :)


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Well my friend I thought you were making a complete ass of yourself and thought the next hub I would read from you would be that you were being served divorce papers for being an ASS man.

However reading till the end I just brayed like a beaten mule. I think I will now go back to the Focking University and take the newest course being offered there.

Hee Haw Hee Haw how to not tell your wife that she has a BIG ASS and live to tell about it. Hee Haw Hee Haw.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

Get her ass out there and plow some furrow, plant your seed, and other agrarian activities. :D

This is funny, but she is going to kick your ass if she sees it just on principle.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- drbj, the De Greeks are men of steel and now that we have also become Elite... the world is our oyster :-))

- Ken, the De Greeks rule the roost with an iron fist inside a velvet glove. Let there be no doubt about that. But of course we ensure that we have permission prior to publishing something overly adventurous :-))

- Shades, she read it first and laughed first and laughed the loudest. I am just plain lucky I tell you :-))


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

You are. My wife has a fine sense of humor too. Even images of her being blown across the room by an asstronomic boom don't bother her. We are both lucky. :)


ValerieH profile image

ValerieH 6 years ago

Sir Degreek I have been on hubpages for a few months now and have never come across smeone as arrogant as you sir, and I say sir because of your newly "knighted status", even though you may be kidding around your huge head astonishes me and I wonder how you have accumulated such a fan club. I guess they are knighting anyone these days. VH


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Your elite status is most impressive Sir, but not surprising. As a distinguished Fokk U graduate, the honor is well deserved and was to be expected. You made your wife’s ass proud.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Congratulations!! I was laughing...I missed to salute you. Salut!!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- Shades, when my wife wants to read my stuff she will not allow me to get up to make space for her to sit and read. She sits on my knees and does it and it's at such moments that I realize at last what is important in this life :-))

- ValerieH, the arrogance is due to the huge brain, child. You tell by the size 8 hat. As to the "knight status" what can I say? The world has a great shortage of heroes and they will anoint anyone these days. Thank you for passing by :-))

- Petra, yes, let us not loose sight of the impressiveness of the Elite status, which, combined with a degree from Fokk U, makes the world the oyster of the De Greek Clan........ Fokk U FOR EVER!!! :-)))

- Melinda, I don't love you any more. You have deserted me you bad girl and I rarely hear from you any more. I feel unwanted and unloved! :-))


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

De Greek, I love you regardless of whether you hear from me or not :-)

I shall see you at the Awards Ceremony for the Pulitzer, assuming you would invite me of course. Tickets are soooo rare..or perhaps I ought to visit you and the family in Greece sometime.

Anyway, I am sooooo proud of you!! Riding your coattails...!!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

Oh I forgot...you don't have to love me back. I love you anyways. Kiss.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

OMG all this love in here is going to force this Saddle to go go out and buy a little puppy dog to love. Sheesh LOLL:0))


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

I truly thought from the title that this hub was an autobiographical journey - but pleasantly surprised by all the braying and ass-a-nine story of the donkey in the barn. You are just too hilarious, Dim!

Good lord - elite status? Holy mother of asses - what is the world coming to? It shall be funnier and funnier no doubt and I'm very happy for your knighthood. Hopefully it will not go to your head - or your ass.

Thanks as always for the reference to my insanity - that must be why we get along so well....bowing now to our newest Elite.....I am humbled in your presence oh Lord of Asses.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- Melinda, when we move to our island place with the dreamed of sea view, we plan to have a special room available for wonderful friends like you to visit us. And I love you too, to the spite of jealous persons who shall remain nameless :-))))

- Ken, you are only jealous :-))))

- Insane Person, you know that I love you too :-))) Lord of Asses??? How did you come up with that??? :-))))


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

I speak in tongues of course, Dim - and I've known many asses in my lifetime (and occasionally succumbed and even BEEN an ass) so of course I can see a leader of asses when I meet one. I may be insane but of course I am not blind.

The best ass I ever met though was a fellow named Shove-It-Up-Your and he was strangely one of my best friends because I so loved to recount his name - over and over. He finally said he didn't want to be friends with me any longer - go figure!

Do you get a crown or a staff (not employees) to go with your elevated position? Or at least a manicure or a pedicure? I expect to see great(er) things now from you, Dim - being Lord of the Asses (or was that masses) has a grave responsibility and we expect to be led well. Congrats again on your promotion and I hope you will be a kind ruler.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Yes, well, we Great Rulers are so only in our own minds and simply get to bask in our self created glory. No other perks unfortunately........ :-)))


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

De Greek

Well done on 'elite'status...and well deserved too!

Brilliantly funny ...love this.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Dimitri oh the subtlety and duplicity of the endowed woman or in your case, en-dowry-ed woman. Or to quote your Shopenhaur--"Nature has had in view what is called in a dramatic sense a “striking effect,” for she endows them...with a richness of beauty and a, fulness of charm...so that they may...ensnare the fantasy of a man to such a degree as to make him rush into taking the honourable care of them, in some kind of form, for a lifetime—a step which would not seem sufficiently justified if he only considered the matter."

Let this be a lesson to all young hubbers to request, nay, demand to inspect the ass of your betrothed before rushing into matrimony.

Making you a member of the elite is only proper for who can better appreciate the trials of the neo hubber than one who has suffered so much from a big ass in the household. Our thoughts go out to you with our congratulations. =:)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- Itakins, you are being your usual kind self. Thank you :-)

- Winsome, thank you for your compliment. And try not to get addicted to Schopenhauer because he can choke you :-)))


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

I salute your unquestionable superiority in the elite department, De Greek-you are one of six, my lowly status is one of twenty-four. Yet, I am still elite, so we have something in common other than ass tales.

Perhaps we should discuss this over tea?? :)


MPG Narratives profile image

MPG Narratives 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

I must say welcome back and congrats on the 'e'. You've been away and you have been missed, De Greek.

You Greeks and your dowry, Italians have big ones too you know. :)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- Lorie what's this? Did you ever suspect for a milliesecond that I would not know that you are an Elite? Oh that hurts!

- MPG ever since Lorie and Nellieanna turned me down when I proposed marriage, I have been a shell of a man. I have lost my confidence and I do not know what is considered to be big any more.


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Great hub and funny. Congrats on your e rating


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Your shell is adorable, quit fretting! ;)


MPG Narratives profile image

MPG Narratives 6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Hey De Greek, I'm part of the 'e' club too, yehhh me! Oh, what about me, where's my proposal :( ... of writing a book together, not marriage.


MeGunner profile image

MeGunner 6 years ago from Lagos

Incredible you! Wow


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 6 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

Okay then, How many ASSES did you kiss to be deemed worthy of such a title as "Elite" on planet hubpages. This makes about as much sense as everything else on this site! Now are you still permitted to hang out with a peasant wench such as myself? What is next for you? Am I to discover next week that you are CEO of their company? I would ask you what new duties and privilages you get with this new "Status" but you probably don't even know.

All jokes aside, I am happy and proud of you. I am not at all surprised that you have excelled so quickly.

I loved the story. I was really fooled by the ass story. When I saw the title, I thought, Oh he is not going there. But you always have a clever twist and if I weren't so blonde, I might pick up on them sooner.

Have you finished your book? What is going on with that?

Love always.

Your humble, peasant wench


quicksand profile image

quicksand 6 years ago

When I read the title I knew you were going to talk about your wife's pet! Cheers!


RunAbstract profile image

RunAbstract 6 years ago from USA

ROTFLM-ASS-O!!!!


RunAbstract profile image

RunAbstract 6 years ago from USA

ROTFLM-ASS-O!!! What a great tale!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- Granny’s House, thank you for visiting and for your good wishes :-)

- Lorie, don’t tell me that you have designs on the De Greek Shell? ;-)))

- MPG, so you are an Eilte too? Wow, I am speaking with Greatness and my hair is standing on end! :-)))

- MeGunner, welcome and thank you. You are a man of obvious taste and a man after my own heart ;-)))


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- Lisa, My Angel, for the sake of Glory, the De Greeks are, indeed, willing to kiss ass! ;-))) But we are also men of steel and we draw the line at some things, so I refused to change my name to Sue!

And yes, you might be right and it may have been an insane act on the part of HubPages, in a moment of drunken lunacy to make me an Elite.

However, I am reliably informed that provided I meet you in secret, the Powers-that-Be will not hold it against me if I meet with the populace ;-)))

Also, you are quite correct in that I have no idea about what I am supposed to do and what is expected of me, but no doubt I shall manage to bluff and muddle through.

The book is going well. I have written about 22,000 words, about a fifth of the book, but I am in no hurry. I stop often to read up on how other Geni-asses of the literary world are doing things, in order to learn their secrets.

Whenever you are free and find yourself suffering from insomnia, ask me and I shall send you what I have done to date, so that I can put you to sleep without the use of any medication ;-))))

Kiss you my love


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- Quicksand, my high opinion of you would have suffered irreparably, had you not realised from the beginning that I was speaking of a donkey ;-))

- RunAbstract, your boyish enthusiasm is infectious. Thank you for visiting ;-))


mulberry1 profile image

mulberry1 6 years ago

Well, I almost chose NOT to read this, but curiousity got the best of me. I'm relieved to find that you would not discuss the size of your wife's anatomy with the entire world. I had seen pictures of her and was pretty sure it wasn't disguised in someway such that I had missed it's true proportions. A Donkey, whew.

Oh, congratulations on being named an "elite" member. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's great.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Oh, it's up there with the Pope :-)))


msannec profile image

msannec 6 years ago from Mississippi (The Delta)

Oh my, oh my, oh my!! ROTFLMBO! Hilarious, I love it!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Where have you been Msannec, you BAAAAAAAD girl? :-)))


A la carte profile image

A la carte 6 years ago from Australia

clever and funny..I enjoyed this :)


Sunny Robinson profile image

Sunny Robinson 6 years ago from Tennessee

Oh. WOW.

It took me a moment to get it. I'm such a blonde. This is HILARIOUS. Love the "subtle" humor. Bahaha. I even rated this 'useful' ... you know. Because reading about your wife's Ass is certainly very, very useful. Indeed. ;D


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- A la carte, thank you for your kind words :-)

- Sunny Robinson, it is an honor to meet a true blonde!!! :-)))


Sunny Robinson profile image

Sunny Robinson 6 years ago from Tennessee

LOL is it really? That's sweet. I think.


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

Hehe, Dimitris, you are so lucky your wife has good sense of humor - but I don´t have any doubt that you have qualities to deserve such great and tolerant wife.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

I don't know Greek....she looks to be years younger than you. How do you pull off such an arrangement? I guess you have to look at it in different ways. Everybody enjoys a little ass but no one wants to sleep atop a big ass! LOL! WB


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Ohmygosh -=- another of your humourous masterpieces! Having been out of pocket mostly for awhile, it's quite a treat to return and find that your style is primed as ever and that your newly achieved elite status has even better honed and assisted its assertions!

As for your asservation of truthfulness, well - - we'll just leave it to the Association to assay and then to decide whether to assassinate or to assume innocence. Possibly some sort of assorted community projects, assuring your proper punishment, while also assuming you will never deviate from sharing your assets among your Hubpeers to keep us laughing our collective asses off! (LOCAO) ;->

Good work & congratulations!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

.

- Tatjana, you are kind as usual. Too kind to point out to me my complete lack of talent and my need to bluff my way through stories :-)))

- Wayne Brown, please take hold of something solidly anchored to the ground, as I am about to shock you! I know that it may appear to you to be a base lie, but there have been recorded instances of women being able to resist a man in a cowboy hat!.....:-)))

However, there is not one single recorded instance of a woman being able to resist the man of her dreams, irrespective of age difference!..... Insane, I know, but the female mind is a great mystery, and there you have it :-)))))))))

- Nellieanna, I assume that your assertions. which are made with so much assertiveness, are assisted by personal assimilation of other assinine people’s asses? :-))))

And just in case you object to some of my spelling, we 'Elites' have special permission to spell as we want! :-))))

.

And no one has commented on my

"we tend to roll on our backs to have our tummies scratched whenever the situation presents itself. I know that Genghis Khan was the same." :-(


OrlandoC profile image

OrlandoC 6 years ago from Glen Ridge

Excellent Hub. Who could resist that title. And the pay off maore than lived to it.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Great and funny Hub, Dimitris, I loved reading this one! I always knew that you and the Khan had something in common! Thanks for letting us know what it is!

Love and peace

Tony


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Well, Brother Tony, where have you been???? Thank you for noticing the resemblance of the De Greeks with The Khan!

With respect, an important aside for you: I have wanted to phone you over the last few days in order to see if you are alright and whether you have disappeared for a good reason, but I was afraid that your wife would answer the phone.

In other words, after sixty, if we do not show any signs of life, it is very likely that there isn’t any. So please: Next time you want to disappear, do let us know, as we do not want to find ourselves in a situation where we have to console the widow over the phone. Besides overseas calls are soooo expensive :-)))))


Jane Bovary profile image

Jane Bovary 6 years ago from The Fatal Shore

Well I hope this ass doesn't go the way of your wife's pussy. If you're going to accept her ass as part of the marriage contract then it might as well be a big one!


Diane Inside profile image

Diane Inside 6 years ago

I was ready to hang you out to dry! I almost stopped reading, since my BP was rising. I truly thought "Jackass" several times. Then to my bewilderment that's exactly what I was reading about. Ha,ha,


BenjaminB 6 years ago

Hilarious Greek.my question would be how long will you be going without that Ass if your wife were to read this,lol.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

- OrlandoC, how kind of you to say so :-)

- Jane Bovary, I am very upset about Hubpages removing my wife's pussycat story. Very unfair one, I thought :-))

- Diane Inside, oh, ye of little faith! But what it means of course is that you are a baaaad girl and did not read any of my other stories :-))

- Ben, actually she has read it and laughed out loud, so there!.........:-)))


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

Does this make my butt look big, No dear your ass is HUGE! and that goes for you head DeGreek I guess I may no longer associate with your greatness as I'm but a humble villager... Congrats


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Katie!! How are you Kid? Don't worry child. We Elites like to associate with the peasantry, so I am still allowed to talk to you :-)))


cameciob profile image

cameciob 6 years ago

De Greek - first, congratulation on your new status. Second, what a funny story. I could not believe my eyes when I saw the title and then, just to conform myself that I was wrong or (as it often crossed my mind) you realy didn't mean it, I kept reading. By the time I was getting closer to the end i was totally swept into your story and didn't care anymore about my initial worries. So, nice trick so to say.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Did you mean other assinie people besides present company?

Here's an idea: - you exercise your Elite privilege to spell anything any way that pleases you and I'll exercise my every day privilege to not give a rat's a**. LOL. Now let's hope your privilege doesn't go to your head! In any case - or location - I am terribly proud of you! THAT, I do value! You've accomplished something and deserve the honors.

Of course when I read that you de greeks tend to roll on your backs to have your tummies scratched whenever the situation presents itself, naturally I thought of your wife's - er - PUSSYcat who loves to do that too. Was that the subtle association? If so, it seemed so totally assumptive by association, though - so, no, I didn't comment on it either. If not, I didn't comment on it either. Sorry. Sometimes you're just too subtle. Other times you're quite plain. ;-)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

We plain authors have just called you refined in a new hub but from your new language in the above comment methinks I may be called a fibber! :-)))


nighthag profile image

nighthag 6 years ago from Australia

I really enjoyed this, very clever use of words and humor.

Congrats for your elite status you seem to deserve it :)


shawn 6 years ago

Congrats on your elite status, apparently miracles do happen. You only have 30 articles so keep praising yourself lol. Its random, but its also apparent that your very controversial with your hubs. I've never seen someone that writes about someones ass, in fact it could be sexual herassment in some cases.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

.

- nighthag - the fact that you understand the play on words and the humor gives me a great deal of pleasure.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

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- shawn -

.

You are a gem! Obviously you are a man of great perception and intelligence. Thank you for passing by and for your comment :-)))

Apropos to your comment, "Ass" means 'donkey' or 'jackass' in the English language :-)))


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

Thank you for this hilarious gem. I love the twist near the end. For a while, I thought this Hub might get you the Lorena Bobbitt treatment. Whew! I hope your wife read all the way to the end. :D


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

James, it's such a pleasure to come across people who understand the joke. Many do not. :-)) - Many thanks for passing by :-)


SUNNY22 6 years ago

Very funny! Congratulations on your Elite status.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 6 years ago from east of the equator

It's a pleasure to read your article and share your enjoyment of your wife's Ass which most would be unwilling to share. Cheers.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Unwilling to share? Why do I get the feeling that you may have taken this seriously? :-))


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

HILARIOUS! Your wife is lucky to have such a funny man to live with. Humor is so important in life! Well, you have helped me because I laughed MY ASS off reading this hub!

All kidding aside-CONGRATULATIONS on your elite status. What a wonderful compliment and recognition. Well deserved. You bring much pleasure to the community. :)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Ahhh.... how kind, Denise. Thank you :-))


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 6 years ago from US

Sure got me there!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Gotcha! :-)))


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

De Greek,

Methinks as one lowly in stature that I must look up to you with eyes and ears upturned and scratch your Tummy as the De Greeks like tummies scratched. And I am not being an "Ass". Congrats on the E stature. Well deserved.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

The De Greeks can never resist tummy scratching...:-)))

Thank you for passing by :-)


dawnM profile image

dawnM 6 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

So De Greek, since you got me down the road of reading about the suspected bigness of your wife's ass, I was truly intrigued, considering how you praise your wife, but I came to the conclusion that I was made to be the ass after all...lol Cute article and congrats on your Elite status, should I bow down to you or will you make it possible for me to post questions about giving "BJ"'s on a man, really wanted to do a survey on it, can’t say the real word.....lol


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Wow child! I am a happily married man! And besides, I am easily old enough to be your father :-)


dawnM profile image

dawnM 6 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

De Greek, you are very cute, it was not a proposition and besides you are not old enough to be my father. As you know I think, I am married 11 years....any way I have a partner in my business, she is married too and we are both sexologists and I am a marriage counselor, have been for 15 years. We had a discussion the other night and she said if given a choice a man would rather have a bj than intercourse and said no I don’t agree if the man loves the woman he would want intercourse. So I wanted to post a survey, but I am sure that I would get kicked out of the forum. I am teasing and love to flirt but like you I am happily married and work on my marriage and have two beautiful children…lol


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Good to hear, Child :-)

And as for your survey, please consider the following:

As long as a man still counts (the number of women he has slept with), he is still a child. Only when he stops counting is he ready to meet the right one and when he does, then the connection is NOT separated into BJs or one thing and another. It is an all embracing one, with tenderness and hugging being an essential part of the whole. I know from your writing that you are a highly knowledgeable person on the subject and a very intelligent one as well, so I think that you understand what I mean :-))

Anyway, if you want to make a survey on the subject, let's make a separate Hub :-)))


dawnM profile image

dawnM 6 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

like your smiley faces...lol

thank-you and yes I know what you mean, and in fact my debate with my colleague, is quite interesting because she feels that it bj is the most selfless act you can perform with a loved one, and for me, making love is being able to both enjoy pleasing each other, but see, not all me are like you......that is the difference and your wife is very lucky…..if you know what I mean…


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 6 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

The only words that come to mind (and this is rare for me) are "Hee Haw" (reference: It's a Wonderful Life. Donna Reed's so-called beau Sam Wainright calling from New York when Jimmy Stewart comes calling.. and I guess we all know the rest on that story).

...as we now know the result of your happily-ever-asster marriage!

Great read.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Thank you Mighty Mom, both for paqssing by and for your good wishes :-))+


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 6 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Just to clarify, sir. I did not just casually pass by. Oh no.

I am in receipt of your two "offers" on two of my hubs and came over here with the specific intent to kiss your ass. But your wife's ass is fine (mighty fine!) too:-)!!!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Yes, kissing ass is a step in the right direction, but without hard cash, I don't think much of your chances. There is this 100 foot yacht I have my heart set on .... :-)))


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, Congrats Sir Knight! ha ha very funny hub, I hope she clipped your ear! hee hee


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Oh, you baaaaad girl! :-))


Johanna Baker profile image

Johanna Baker 5 years ago from Christchurch, New Zealand

Lovely read, well done! Clever and humorous, totally enjoyable... Congratulations on your promotion


De Greek profile image

De Greek 5 years ago from UK Author

Thanks, Johanna, glad it made you smile :-)


Sylvia Leong profile image

Sylvia Leong 5 years ago from North Vancouver (Canada)

You got me! I was horrified throughout this Hub thinking about whether your wife had read it & if she had, what did she say to you. Was she upset... etc. etc. etc.

You are funny!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 5 years ago from UK Author

i Sylvia,

I wish I was there to see your face :-)))


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

Very engaging hub, which happens to be funny to...

Thanks


De Greek profile image

De Greek 5 years ago from UK Author

Thanks, Louia, nice to meet you :-)


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 5 years ago from South Africa

I see this Hub is listed under "DeGreek's favourite topics"! I guess I shouldn't wonder!

It's a funny one, to be sure.

Love and peace

Tony

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