Once Upon A Time -- Hook's Revenge

This was the episode I started to wonder if the writers are having trouble coming up with stories for Storybrooke now The Curse is broken. The reason I began wondering is they don't really seem to be developing any stories for the characters in Storybrooke. Now suddenly the Dwarfs want to go back to Fairy Tale Land where they can be fairy slaves again, while others like it in Storybrooke and want to stay right where they are. Like Snow White. I noticed she's now calling her hubby David. Guess it would be a bit strange calling him Charming when he isn't and he isn't Prince James; he's the pretender to the throne. The big story between Snow and Uncharming now that they're not trying to find each other at the moment, is she wants to buy a house and settle down in Storybrooke while he acts like small house isn't big enough for his big pompous ego and he wants to go back to reclaim a kingdom that never even belonged to him in the first place.

It was hilarious watching the Storybrookians holding a funeral for Archie, who isn't even dead, when they didn't give two craps when Graham actually did die. You didn't see the whole town crying crocodile tears over Graham when he died. But then he wasn't a member of their exclusive little Charming clique. I had a real eye-rolling moment over Uncharming's grief over Archie. It reminded me of how little grief he had over his mother's death as he was dancing a jig a few feet away from her dead body celebrating the fact Snowy might be preggers.

The fairytale flashback story this week was of Belle after she left Rump. Dumpy when he was still Dreamy encouraged Belle to join a group hunting this monster with a name I'm not sure how to pronounce and one I definitely can't spell. Basically, it was a giant dog with a flaming collar. Anyway, Belle tracks him down but he gets away and she runs afoul of Mulan.

If you thought the tude she copped towards Aurora was because Phillip loved Aurora instead of her, then you found out she appears to cop that tude towards all women, since she gave it to Belle, as well. She mentioned how she was treated in her village because she was a woman; the irony is she turns around and treats other women the same way. So much for empathy.

Belle helped Mulan track down the beast, but when Mulan hurt her leg, Belle went to slay the beast on her own. When it wrote something in the dirt, she realized he was a man trapped inside the body of a beast. After sprinkling fairy dust on him, the beast turned into Phillip. He explained to Belle that Maleficent had cursed him and that he was looking for her true love, Aurora. Hearing this, it inspired Belle to go back and to not give up on Rump.

You got to feel for Phillip. First, he gets turned into this giant dog and then he gets his soul sucked out of him. Sorry, Uncharming, Phillip has got you beaten nine ways to Sunday. Not only is he a real prince; he also wasn't banging Mulan and Aurora at the same time. He also doesn't have some cheesy line about, "I'll find you, I'll always find you."

Anyway, it was Belle who introduced Phillip to Mulan and asked him to pay it forward. Since she saved him, she wanted him to save Mulan, while she went off to look for Rump. Unfortunately, Regina caught Belle and took her prisoner before she could do so.

Dumpy tried to claim that if you use the magic for good it didn't have a price, but I'm calling that bogus. Belle freed Phillip from his cursed state and she ended up becoming Regina's prisoner. Had she stayed where she was, Regina might not have taken her prisoner. So with all magic there's a price. Rump turned Smee into a rat out of revenge and Hook got his revenge by shooting Belle and causing her to fall over the town line and lose her memory.

In Smee's case he knows who he is but no one else will as he's trapped in a rat's body, much like Phillip was trapped in the giant dog's body. Meanwhile, Belle retains her original form but who she is has been taken from her.

In Storybrooke, Rump found a way to break the curse of the town line. He tested it out by shoving Smee over the town line after sprinkling some of his potion on his hat and he remembered who he was. Rump decided to let him go and let bygones be bygones, but the little rat helped Hook steal the last thing Rump had of Bae's from his safe, so in retaliation he turned Smee into a rat.

Meanwhile, Belle was bedeviled by Hook, or maybe it was the other way around. He went after her at the library and she had to knock a book shelf on him to escape. Then she figured out his ship was docked in the harbor and that it was invisible. She figured out where it was and found Archie and released him. Hook cornered her on his boat, and she knocked him out, again. Alerted by Archie where Hook is, Rump beat the crap out of Hook with his cane, until Belle got him to stop. Unfortunately, because Belle got Rump to spare the cretin he showed up at the town line as Rump was preparing to leave to search for Bae and he shot Belle in the back. Which caused her to fall over the town line and lose her memory.

Hook, however, didn't get off scot-free when a car came barreling at him as Rump was about to kill him. Hook went flying in the air, as the stranger crashed his car, bringing what the fairytale characters feared most, an outsider to Storybrooke.

Meanwhile, Archie showed up at Emma's and this in a nutshell is why I loathe the Charmings. He told her Cora kidnapped him and all she can think to do is take potshots at Regina. Henry then makes a bogus statement about knowing Regina didn't do it, when minutes before he said he was drawing a floor plan to protect them from evil Regina if she comes to kill them like she did Archie. You know, you'd think Emma might worry about Cora being in town since she got a taste what the woman is capable of. She might wonder who they buried in Archie's coffin since it wasn't Archie. No, all the peabrain can think of is making a nasty comment of needing to be protected from Regina's wrath. Yeah, I guess you don't need to worry about Cora, do you, brain trust? This woman has no business in being sheriff. No Charming Bot should.




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