Once Upon A Time -- Prince James And The Beanstalk

Original Airing: February 10, 2013

I got a bad cold that left me bedridden for a week and I finally managed to catch up on all the shows I was behind on. I can’t say I really missed much where Once Upon A Time is concerned; which is a sad thing to say, as last season this was one of the best new shows around. Unfortunately, this season the writers and their out-of-control obsession with The Charming family have really sunk this show to the point I don’t see it being a show that will last for the long haul.

Another problem this show has is the writers seem to be trying to turn it into a fairytale version of Lost, bringing on a lot of the actors from Lost. The latest is my least favorite, Jorge Garcia. I hoped when he turned up as The Giant it would be a one-off. Now they’ve found a way to shrink The Giant and induct him into The Charming Cult and make him integral to the story by planting magic beans so they can go back to Fairy Tale Land.

He was sort of entertaining when he was trying to squash Uncharming like a bug, but of course that couldn’t last. It wasn’t long before that paragon of perfection saved The Giant’s life and he got Charming-ized like most of the other sycophants in town. He revealed he could plant and grow magic beans and Dumpy volunteered the dwarves to help farm the land. They live to be slaves in one form or another and since the mines have been destroyed, and they can’t harvest fairy dust, they’ll now harvest magic beans so they can all go home.

The Giant aka Tiny aka Anton aka Hurleybird was of how he climbed down the beanstalk and met up with evil Prince James. Yep, in what seemed like a total rewrite to make the Pretender Prince look good and more deserving to be the Prince than the real prince, Prince James was an evil, greedy and malevolent creature who tricked the silly giant into thinking he was his friend and leading him back to Giantville so he could slaughter all the giants and steal their treasure. The Prince James we saw in season one showed no evidence of being anything like this. I think the rewrite was to silence people like me complaining about how the Pretender Prince stole a throne that didn’t belong to him. Per usual, Josh Dallas was one-note as evil Prince James, as he played the role with no subtext or pathos much like his paragon of perfection, Uncharming.

The twist that Jack was actually a woman seemed incidental since the story they told was more Evil Prince James and the Beanstalk instead of Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack was just Evil Prince James bed bunny who was just as evil as he was.

We also learned that while everyone else in Storybrooke got new names to go by, Uncharming is so special he was going by his real name, which is David. Meanwhile the good people of Storybrooke don’t like that Belle keeps asking about the magic she saw, so they’re keeping her heavily sedated aka they’re keeping her brains fried so she doesn’t become a problem for them. Unfortunately for them, Mr. Mendell, the stranger who crashed into town, compares notes with Belle on what she saw.

You know, I thought the way Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof destroyed the ending of Lost to make their pet character Jack the big hero was the worst character pandering I would have the misfortune to witness, but it’s nothing compared to the Charming garbage these writers are pulling. They’re completely ruining this once great show in their sick attempts to turn it into All About The Charmings.

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