Once Upon A Time -- Snow Black

Original Airing: March 3, 2013

I understand the ratings were pretty low for this episode. Maybe I’m not the only viewer tired of The Charming Family Is All. Since it seems like every other episode is a Charming-centric episode, this week it was all about Snow Blight’s birthday.

Before I get into this week’s episode, I’ve just got to comment on The Blue Fairies outfit. It makes her boobs look like a couple of over-inflated balloons just waiting to pop out of her dress. Maybe it’s not her wings, but her two helium-inflated knockers that enables her to fly. You know, you really have to see what a wicked sense of humor Regina has. Bluesy generally looks like she should be hanging out under a street lamp singing, “Love For Sale,” to become a chaste nun in Storybrooke as her alter ego is hilarious.

The backstory this week was how the Queen Mother died on Snow’s birthday. The child actor that plays Snow was back, and I have to say I find her more tolerable in the role than I do Ginnifer Goodwin. Probably because she’s a better actress and puts more into her performance that Goodwin does.

Anyway, turns out Snow Blight wasn’t so nice when she was a child. She was horrible to the servants and believed the whole world was supposed to cater to her every whim. In what had to be the most unbelievable moment of the night, the Queen Mother gave her a five second lecture on her behavior and she instantly morphed from Nellie Olsen into Laura Ingalls. Then the Queen Mother fell ill.

Johanna the servant suggested that Snow turn to the Blue Fairy for help in using magic to cure her mother. In the eye-rolling moment of the night Little Snow declared how her heart was true and proved it by refusing to use a candle to choose who would die in her mother’s place so her mother could live. Snow returned to her mother and told her how she made the right choice to let her die and her mother praised her before kicking off.

So, Snow’s mother died on her birthday and Snow wore her birthday tiara with a black mourning gown as she sat in front of her mother’s coffin. After she departs, Cora shows up revealing she pretended to be the Blue Fairy and tried to get Snow to kill someone. She also was behind the death of the Queen Mother by poisoning her. Cora vows to the dead queen she’s making it her life’s mission to turn Snow White into Snow Black.

Adult Snow doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday and gets a blast from the past when she’s contacted by the servant, Johanna, who gives her her birthday crown. While visiting Johanna, Snow spots Cora and Regina in the woods looking for Rump’s dagger. She confronts Regina and urges her to do the right thing or else.

I had to agree with every word Regina said back to Snow Blight. Just what makes Snow the good one? Regina said it was Snow who started referring to her as the evil queen. She also pointed out how she tried to change and the Charming sycophants couldn’t wait to blame her for something she didn’t do the first chance they got. So, suck it.

Meanwhile, Hook does the only thing that’s ever got me cheering for the miscreant. He knocks out Uncharming to steal his hook and sails his invisible ship to New York where he stabs Rump with his hook. Rump blames Henry for what happened, because the blind witch with eyes in the palms of her hand said Henry would be his undoing. Will Rump ever stop being tricked by these magical creatures? It’s listening to these magical creatures and not cowardice that’s his real problem. It’s what’s caused him all his problems in his life.

Seeing Rump’s life in danger, Neal vows to return him to Storybrooke to save his life. He says he’s met Hook before and he knows how to drive his ship. My same theory for how Jefferson could be Bae, is how Neal explains it, as the real world wasn’t the first world he traveled to. Apparently he’s also been to Neverland.

Emma gets a call from her parents wanting her to get Rump to tell them where he’s hidden his dagger. I’m guessing Rump agreed on the proviso that it not be used against him. However, the minute Pompous got the dagger in his paws he started braying about he was going to use it to make Rump dance to his tune. So, how is the supposed good ones getting their mitts on it any better than Regina and Cora getting it?

Cora and Regina showed up at the clock tower with Snow’s beloved servant, Johanna, and forced Snow to hand the dagger over to save Johanna’s life. But once Cora had the dagger she tossed Johanna out of the clock tower, killing her. Snow also finally put together from what Cora said that she poisoned her mother and masqueraded as the Blue Fairy to try and get Snow to kill someone to save her mother.

After Cora and Regina vanish with the dagger, Snow goes on about how someone always dies when she makes the right choice. So she declares she’s going to kill Cora. She’s done playing by the goody goody code of ethics. In short, Snow wants to kill Cora for killing her mother the same way Regina wanted to kill Snow for Daniel’s death.

She, however, hasn't put together that Johanna was working with Cora. It's the only explanation. She most likely poisoned The Queen for Cora and she was the one that suggested Snow go to the Blue Fairy and where to find her, when Cora was dressed up as the Blue Fairy. And she got Snow to meet her just where Cora and Regina were conveniently looking for the dagger so Snow could see them and figure it out.

Meanwhile, Regina is also putting the pieces together. She realizes her mother set the whole thing up for her to save Snow on his horse so she’d be made queen. She also says they can’t use the dagger to make Rump kill all The Charmings because Henry will know they were behind it, but Cora says to just wait until Rump gets back to town.

As bad as it is to have Cora have Rump’s dagger, I’d rather she have it than Pompous. Having to watch that self-righteous pompous donkey making Rump his slave would have been intolerable to watch.

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