Once Upon A Time -- You Found Me, You Always Find Me

I couldn't help myself. They even had Regina saying some version of that moldy old phrase. Then we had Snow and Uncharming saying it. It's more annoying than live together, die alone.

I actually forgot to watch the episode until now. I'd completely forgotten that I'd taped it but never watched it. I think my mind was conveniently letting me forget because I was dreading watching an episode that features all four of the dreaded Charming clan so prominently. I don't think it's a good thing. These four lame characters that are hogging up all the story this season have really made this show go down hill fast.

I remember last season when they said they would feature Snow and Uncharming heavily at first, but it would be about other characters and stories, as well. When does this show stop being about them? I've had overload of them and then I read Josh Dallas who plays Uncharming saying there's so much more back story to explore for Snow and Charming. You've got to be kidding me. They've already dominated the show 24/7 this season. Aren't we ever going to get a break from them?

A better title for this episode might have been the episode they really screwed Aurora over in. Phillip spent how many years trying to find her and never giving up on her? And one scene that made her totally unworthy of him by her wanting to go to Storybrooke and finding a new true love. Granted, I get why they did it. No fairy tale love story can outshine their beloved Snow White and Pretender Prince. First they added Mulan to Sleeping Beauty and now this. I'm sorry, but if you're not going to do the story decently why bother doing it at all. They've really done a hatchet job on the Sleeping Beauty fairy tale. At least when Cinderella sold her first born to Rump it was because she didn't read what she was signing.

The episode starts with Hook climbing down from the beanstalk to confront a not-pleased Cora. Love that Cora is totally immune to Hook's non-existent charm. Also loved her rising up an army of zombies. I don't want her to beat Rump and Regina, but I'm loving her messing with Hook, Emma and Snow. Cora is the only thing that's saved ATCFTL [After The Curse Fairy Tale Land] from being a total snooze.

The wonder twins, Emma and Snow, get Aurora to go back to sleep to give Henry the message to enlist Rumpelstiltskin to help them find a way home and that Cora is planning to come to Storybrooke through the portal. Don't you just love it? All The Charmings love to spit on Rump, but when they need something they go running right to him expecting him to help them. One of the many reasons I loathe each and every one of them.

Regina goes to Granny's to find Rump where he's having a hamburger date with Belle. She tells him that Cora is planning to come to Storybrooke. Rump said Regina showed him Cora's body and she was dead, but she obviously conned both of them. Ah, the plot thickens. I thought Regina and Rump saw the last of Cora when she went through the looking glass. Guess not.

Anyway, Rump tells Henry that the ink Snow and Charming got Cinderella to use to trap him is in his cell and it can trap Cora, too. He tells Henry when he goes to sleep to tell Aurora that. Unfortunately, when he tries, a disembodied voice starts calling Aurora's name. For a second I thought and hoped it was Phillip trying to contact Aurora. I even thought it was Cora trying to prevent the message from being delivered. It was actually Mulan messing everything up.

Mulan hasn't been done any favors being added to the show, either. She's mostly used as a useless prop to prop-up Snow White and to show how awesome she is. They even made Snow leader over Mulan, who would seem more qualified for the position.

Mulan saw that Aurora's arm got burned in the Flame World and she tries to protect her by waking her up because she promised Phillip she'd protect her. She also takes off with Aurora when Cora's army of zombies attack. Unfortunately, Mulan gets knocked out and Aurora gets abducted and taken to Cora.

You really got to see how selfish the wonder twins are when Snow decided she would go to sleep and enter the Flame World and Emma was worried about her, but she didn't give a crap what happened to Aurora so long she could use her for her own selfish gains. But don't feel bad Emma, because you're daddy doesn't give a crap about you, either. When Henry awakes burned Prince Pompous declares he will have himself put into a sleeping spell so he can...wait for it...I'll find you, I'll always find you...his beloved Snow. All he could yap about was finding his wife; he never mentioned his daughter. Face it, Emma, you're the kid a couple has so they can harvest your organs to save the prized but sick child. There's only one person Pompous cares about and that's his beloved Snow. He forget all about his mother who just died to save his beloved Snow from being barren and whose dead body was lying about a yard away while he did a happy jig because Snow White was harvesting his seed in her womb.

So Pompous pricks his finger on Rump's spinning wheel to put him into the sleep spell, because he's sure once he finds his beloved Snow in the Flame World, it'll break the spell. Me, I'm celebrating the fact he can no longer be acting sheriff anymore.

Once he finds Snow in the Flame World he lays on that hideous line and tries to lay lips on her but his body goes right through hers like she's a ghost. No wakey-wake kiss for you, Uncharming. After he delivers his message about the ink Snow vanishes and he's trapped in the Flame World. As for me, I'm cackling, "Burn, baby, burn!"

Meanwhile, Mulan runs afoul of the wonder twins when she steals the compass to save Aurora. God knows neither of those two selfish heifers care about saving the woman they'd been using for their own gains. In a patently ridiculous scene, housefrau Snow White easily took down Mulan and took the compass from her. Then Aurora showed up to reveal Hook had double-crossed Cora and let her go because he has feelings for Emma.

In reality, Aurora was only saying what Cora was telling her to say, because Hook had ripped Aurora's heart out and Cora now controls Aurora. I'm sorry, but I thought only magical people could rip people's heart out, and last I check Hook is not magical. Anyway, the foursome heads off to find the ink in Rump's cell to trap Cora.

Okay, first off, how come the great braggart Emma and her magical lie detector power didn't detect something was up with Aurora? She hasn't been able to tell when someone's been lying so much it's got to be the biggest joke when she starts bragging how she's a human lie detector. Looks like she needs to get her gauge fixed.

Secondly, why would the ink that trapped Rump in the cell be in Rump's cell? The Blue Fairy gave Pompous the magic quill and when Rump used it it was supposed to trap him. Now we find it was actually the ink in Rump's cell. That makes no sense, unless he trapped himself. Since Rump and the Blue Fairy loathe each other and she didn't want the curse to happen, they couldn't have been working together. Is it possible Rump used his magic to impersonate the Blue Fairy. For the curse to be enacted did he need to be imprisoned? After all, if he hadn't been imprisoned Snow and Uncharming couldn't have gone to visit him and have him tell them their daughter would be able to break the curse.

The episode wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Rump, Regina and Cora are strong enough characters to make up for the story and character deficit that is The Charmings.

One last thing in Flame World Snow wondered if all her future with Pompous entailed was them finding and losing each other. Sounds like the writers have been listening to the viewers complaint about the repetitiveness of their story. It's what their entire story is about and without it they have no story. Or were the writers laying ground work for a possible break-up between Mama and Papa Charming when Snow gets tired of the endless cycle?

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