One Life To Live -- July 4, 2013

Matthew's got wall-to-wall chicks

I seriously think there should be a big cyber celebration if we're all lucky enough to have a One Life To Live episode that's Matthew free. So far, this dink has been on every episode and no other member of the cast can say that. He's even got three chicks all hot for him. He's not that attractive, he hasn't got a great personality and I've seen better naked chests than his. Is he related to someone who works behind the scenes, cause nepotism seems the only answer to this.

Anyway, Matthew was dancing with Michelle at Shelter when Dani came in and was jealous so she started drinking. Then she ran into Arturo, who bought her a drink. I sure called that one in advance. He told her about his relationship with Briana and she told him Briana was with another man the night he died, and he was so upset he took off.

No offense, but I could kind of care less about this Briana who was on for like one or two episodes crawling all over an extra. Seems she was a busy girl, as Cutter was also banging her. Nikki the bartender referred to her as a hooker. Shall we also pin that name on Cutter since he's after Natalie and banging Briana and Nikki simultaneously.

Anyway, Matthew and Michelle went to have ice cream and ran into Jeffrey and Destiny listening to the Night Bird's latest broadcast. Matthew and Destiny's eyes connected as a woman who got knocked up by a man by accident walked out on him and their kids since she just had enough. It hit a little too close to home, only the man that got walked out on actually did the right thing and was a good father, unlike Deadbeat Dad Matthew. This didn't escape Little Michelle's notice and she looked jealous. Didn't she learn about Destiny's Child while she was stalking Matthew?

One thing that hasn't changed from the network version of the show is the whole poor innocent [insert John or Victor] malarkey. Clint dropped by to say how sorry he was for what he did to poor innocent John. What I wished he would have said is why didn't John call you when he got the Dear John letter if he loves you as much as he thinks he does? Why didn't he call you when he got the restraining. If a guy really loved you, surely he would have called to try and fix things, but John didn't. And when he eventually decided he wanted to play Daddy he got a lawyer to contact you, but never did he act like a guy that really loves you. In short, Clint was right. He did her a huge favor. Unfortunately, Natalie refuses to take off her rose-colored glasses and view precious John for the way he really is, and the way he really is is toxic.

Speaking of seeing someone for what they are or not seeing them, Toxic Tea was shrieking up a storm, yet again. The only bright spot was Blair not kissing her butt and asking her where Victor is when the kids are in danger and pointing out Todd is trying to keep them safe which is a whole lot more than her precious Victor is doing. Yeah, Teahag, Victor is out looking out for himself, but since you don't seem to care if your kid gets killed as long as precious Victor is fine, I'm sure that's fine with you. The harpy even had the nerve of wanting to use Victor's fake death to get close to the kids. Why shouldn't he get close to the kids; they're his kids not Victors. Something that's got lost in the shuffle of this idiot is Todd had his life and children stolen from him, but that's just another thing that doesn't matter to this hag as long as precious innocent Victor is safe.

Destiny asked Jeffrey if he'll be her fake date for Natalie's double date with Cutter and he agreed. Seriously, Jeffrey is so much hotter than that pathetic dork Matthew, I don't know why she can't let her unrequited love for the dork go and make a play for Jeffrey.

It seems Dorian may not have been so off the bean to be jealous of Rama. David was getting a little too close for comfort with Rama, and it was mostly thanks to Rama nothing happened between them. Dorian should probably worry about Nikki the bartender as well. She looks like she might not mind serving the customers more than drinks if you get my meaning.

This episode seemed kind of like a filler episode to me. Nothing of real import seemed to happen. Doesn't seem like Arturo will be scoping out any of the older ladies as he seems to prefer the school yard crowd. If he starts dating Dani, will Tea even notice or will she be too busy sniffing a pair of Victor's underwear to care. Will Todd succeed in destroying the ridiculous Tea/Blair friendship? Blair seems to be getting very weary of Tea's tirades and her seeming lack of caring that all the kids are in danger, since all Tea cares about is Victor. Will Michelle reveal herself to be a crazed stalker chick? When Paolo Seganti was cast on the show they said he would be Jeffrey's benefactor. Has that story been dropped or is it still to be revealed giving him more to do than being a lecher. David seems to be getting ready to cheat on Dorian. Will finding out what she did to Viki or tried to do make up his mind for him? And just what all is Cutter involved with at Shelter and will it spill over on to Blair and get her in trouble with the law.? Then there's the biggest question of all. We we ever get just one episode without Matthew in it? Come on, he's not all that. He's actually the least interesting thing on the show. Come on, give him and us a day off from him.

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