Our Bathroom / Toilet Smells of Pee!

Our bathroom smells of pee,

I don't know why, it wasn't me,

I suspect my Husband may have missed,

Last Friday night when he was pissed,

A rotten habit that makes me crazy,

Missing the bowl is just plain lazy,

Staring at ceiling in mid flow,

Whilst God knows what goes on below,

A careless shake in any direction,

Leads to splashes upon reflection,

Pee is yellow, but so's our carpet,

(Unless it wasn't until he marked it!)

I've disinfected without success,

The odour never gets any less,

Febreze and Oust have proved no match,

Against the strength of this pee patch,

My Husband clearly has no shame,

As our cats he tries to blame,

He says they tiddle on floor,

Then make a beeline out the door,

I know of course this isn't true,

They prefer an outdoor loo,

It's human pee that I can smell,

Like Gent's urinals, (I can tell),

Recycled beer is not so fragrant,

Tough for any cleaning agent,

So all you men please have a heart,

Aim your willy before you start,

Until flow stops play close attention,

And one more thing that I must mention,

Shake off the drips but take great care,

Not to fling them in the air,

A gentle blot with toilet tissue,

Ensures your manhood does not cause issue,

Always put down the toilet seat,

These thoughtful actions keep Wives sweet,

Remember this and please take heed,

You won't regret it once you've peed.

More by this Author


Comments 26 comments

B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 7 years ago from Hell, MI

Ha! An ingenious poem about an all too familiar problem!As the proud owner of a teenage boy, I know the aroma of which you speak. I'm not convinced that he even faces the toilet when he goes!

Putting the boy in charge of cleanng the toilet and surrounding area seems to have improved his aim, greatly, though. Could be worth a try.

Loved the pics, and the joke at the end was hysterical! You never disappoint, Cindy!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks B.T. (Blushes), a truly lovely compliment coming from you :)


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 7 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

Ha, ha, ha, this is masterpiece, Cindy!

Your poem is fantastic.

Need to be translated on many languages....


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Cheers Tatjana, I enjoyed writing it although it took me a while :)


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 7 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

Why is it that women always complain "put the seat down, put the seat down." For Gods sake, what's wrong with you, haven't you got arms? How 'bout when YOU'VE finished PUT THE SEAT UP?

Cheers,

TOF


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

So not fair TOF :( After all, you leave the seat down when you have a dump don't you? We do too, plus when we have a pee, whereas only men leave the seat up for a pee. The maths mean the seat is therefore required to be down more than up, so more sense for it to be down than up when people enter the little room. :)


Hayley (Big Sis) 7 years ago

Great fun Cindy! Loved it. Funny how most men can't aim straight. After all, how difficult can it be? Lol. But can any of your male fans please settle another mystery while wer'e on this subject. When they have to stop the car to get out and relieve themselves, why do they always have to pee 'up against' something?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Good point Hayley, it is a bit like the thing where dogs cock their legs against a tree, men are no different. Pleased you enjoyed the hub :)


Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom 7 years ago from West Coast

Lol! Great hub!! This made me laugh.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Triplet Mom, it's always lovely to get positive feedback :)


mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

That was too funny! Especially the cell phone conversation. BTW, did you ever get the pee out of the house?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOl Mayhmong, Well, the odour is better than it was having heaped every product on the shelf at the carpet, but I can't say it has gone completely, (perhaps he is topping it up!!!).


mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

Have you tried spraying the carpet with vinegar? That usually works when my newest kitten was spraying everywhere


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

I might just give that a go Mayhmong, or to cut out the problem from the source perhaps I could just spray my Husband with vinegar instead :)


mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

Hmmm...That could work


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL Mayhmong, I shall seriously consider it :)


marcofratelli profile image

marcofratelli 7 years ago from Australia

I love the poem!! SO AWESOME!!! :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Cheers Marcofratelli, it was all my own work, so I am delighted you enjoyed it :)


tammyfrost profile image

tammyfrost 7 years ago from Oregon

lol...very interesting...Thank-you for the kind tips on being new here. I really appreciate it!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hey thanks Tammy, that was quick. Delighted you enjoyed this and welcome to Hubpages :)


JY3502 profile image

JY3502 6 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

Best joke I've heard in a while.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks JY3502, pleased to give you a laugh :)


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

OMG, this is hysterical. I don't think you left anything out! So much fun.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Sharyn, I am delighted you enjoyed this :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Very funny! I have all girls and my sister has one boy. I can always tell after he has had a visit:) lol I make him use the bathroom downstairs with the ceramic tile! lol lol


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL RealHousewife, yes boys are definitely a useless shot when it comes to toilets, and they don't appear to get much better as they get older.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working