Paco JB Rasta Adventure - Part 3

Thu Jan 15, 2004 4:09 pm

Holy chicken! You are not going to believe this but Paco and I were abducted by aliens. It was about an hour before the Duke game… around 7pm and this blue light came out of the sky while I was giving the site an update. It sucked me and Paco right into it. No one else who was around seemed to notice that we were floating up from the ground. I managed to hit the send button but it looks like it didn't go through.

The aliens were very hospitable, well at least to me. They strapped Paco down to this invisible table and prodded him in the anus with a probe. They did it several times. It was disturbing. More disturbing was that Paco didn't seem to mind in the slightest. They only did it several times at his request. He was telling me I should try it out but I said I'd skip it if the aliens weren't
inclined to do it.

The aliens said they often bring Stephen Jones up and probe him just for my benefit. They seem to have a fascination for me. They love the chicken. They love Chicken_Talk. They made me taste these nutrition cubes that they said they have to eat when they are back at home. It was terrible. So they said they come here to earth to get take out chicken. They can transform their ship to look like a car and they just look like ordinary people and they get chicken in the drive-thru and then fly back home.

They don't look like humans up in the ship. They looked like big eyed blue skinned bald freaks… pretty much like you see in a UFO Abduction documentary on TV. They said I couldn't be allowed to go on to Key West but wouldn't say why. So they took me and Paco back to Wisconsin and before I knew it I was back at work. No one seems to think anything is odd or anything. They didn't think I was gone but they didn't recall seeing me. It is about 3 hours before the time they took us. They said when they zip around they screw around with the time-space continuum but they don't give much of a rat's ass about that because it only messes with earth. And earth is pretty much only good for getting chicken take out. They said in the entire galaxy they haven't found a better place for chicken… they don't care if it is KFC or some local chicken shop… they feel it is all good.

They said after 7pm time, the time they grabbed us I wouldn't remember a thing and neither would Paco… so I had to get a note out. I'm pretty hungry too though. Famished actually. I gotta go get some chicken.

Thu Jan 15, 2004 4:12 pm

In http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/Chicken_Talk/, "seniorclucky" wrote:
> Holy chicken! You are not going to believe this but Paco and I were abducted by aliens.

<snip>

Erm, I don't know who you are and how you got my yahoo account but I can assure you that Paco and I are right here in North Carolina. I'm right in "Cameron Court" a nice little cafe, getting something to eat before the game which is only a few hours off. I think you've had too much chicken!

Thu Jan 15, 2004 4:24 pm

JB here in Wisconsin. Paco just read the anal probe thing and he didn't want me to share that with everyone. I can assure everyone that anyone subjected to the probe would enjoy it. It is equipped with an anesthetic type device which gives the "probe-E" pure pleasure. But jb in North Carlolina you'd better get ready... you are going to be abducted. Listen, I spilled a glass of water with dinner and it made my pants really wet and I didn't enjoy some of the space ride because of that. Could you be a bit careful when handling your water. And give my cell phone a call I want to talk to you!

Thu Jan 15, 2004 4:44 pm

JB here in North Carolina. Too late moron I already spilled the water. What the hell is going on? And you couldn't have my cell phone as I have it right here. If I call my own cell phone number I'm just going to get voicemail. Did I lose some brain function in the alien ship? And I'm not calling you from the cafe. What if you are me and I talk to you/me? The universe could end or something.  How come they take me before the Duke game? If they like me don't they want me to see the game? I've never seen a game live before.  It just doesn't make sense.

...wait my cell is ringing and it is my work phone...

Hey I answered the phone and the universe didn't end. The me in Wisconsin convinced me here that we are the same person. I'm kind of a jerk in Wisconsin. What's up with that? Anyway I have me on the phone now. It really isn't as cool as you'd think. I pretty much heard anything he has to say... if I had to listen to him for long I would fall asleep. He said I really should give the anal probe thing a try as Brandon is a bit upset that he is coming across in a way he doesn't want to come across and he'd feel better if I tried it. If I didn't do it, then I didn't do it... right? I can't change that or some bad thing that Star Trek warns ya against will happen... won't it? The Brandon here thinks I'm making the whole thing up... and he just wants me to try and be normal for awhile.  I'm normal. I told him to call his own self back in Wisconsin but
he isn't sure where he would be and he can call himself if he wants to from there since he doesn't have a clue about any of this from here. Pretty good logic from someone who thinks I'm making it all up to begin with.

I'm bitching on the phone while I'm typing.... "hang on - I can't do more than four or five things at once". Well, I'm going to go talk to myself some more. I'll be damned if I'm going to be  bducted by aliens. I'm going to see that game. I'm such a putz too... the me there wont tell me here where I was when they abducted me so I can avoid it. I can't even convince my own self. I hate to say it but I'm a real weenie sometimes. What is up with that? I am me. So just do what I say? Doesn't the me in Wisconsin want to see the game? Did the universe end when we talked to each other? Geez, Louise - what an ass I am. I'd like to go kick my own ass right now. I got some words for myself that I have to express.

later

jb
-chicken

Thu Jan 15, 2004 5:06 pm

Okay, this really isn't good. I'm a bit frightened actually. I've been thinking... what is going to happen to me? If jackass in N.C. doesn't do what I did then am I going to be here? If he does do what I did then what about me? I mean if there are two of us now and things happen as they seemed to have happened to me then by tomorrow I should be okay, right? It makes a line of progression... and nothing happens to him or me, right? We just go back into being one person like before? We merge? What is going to happen?  What?!?!?

Does one of die in a sense? What if that jackass changes some kind of timeline or something?  Will there be two of us? Is that better? What will my family think? Which one of us sleeps in my bed. I'm not sleeping with myself. I hope he doesn't have some kind of weird sex suggestions. I'm not touching myself when I'm another person... it be like incest then, wouldn't it? I wish I'd seen that Keaton movie where he was multiple people. Two of yourself doesn't work out. I mean sure he could go to work but if I know him... and I imagine I do - he's not  going to be the one who wants to go to work. Maybe we could alternate days? But I don't seem to know what he's thinking... it could get really confusing.  It would be very scaring to my daughter to have two dads. Two is just no good. But then does one of us cease to exist? I don't want to cease to exist. I'm not ready. No wonder Kirk gets all bent out of shape when they mess with the timeline!!!

If it is going to be him or me I'd rather it be him but I don't want my own self to disappear. It is all very confusing. I think I'm having a breakdown.

He/I wont answer my calls now. All he cares about is seeing the Duke game. Of course I want to see the Duke game... but I didn't get to see it. If he sees it that sucks for me somehow. I missed the game. This is all making my head hurt.

Thu Jan 15, 2004 7:18 pm

So here I am ready to be abducted by chicken loving aliens. Odd as it seems. Paco thinks the joke has gone to far and thinks we should get heading over to Cameron Indoor Stadium for the game. He doesn't believe we are going to miss the game. I don't know if I believe it.

He/me convinced me, actually I came to the same conclusion that it would be best for both of us or us - whatever - that I follow the same path he followed. We are both afraid for our lives and that if we do something different something bad could happen... and we could both be killed or made to never be.

He told me to keep the aliens from probing Brandon in his rear as it was embarrassing to him if the aliens felt that wouldn't change the time-space continuum... or do have it done to myself so he didn't feel like a freak. I don't think I'm going to go for an anal probe if I can avoid it. Not that I'm chicken or anything... but it just doesn't appeal to me - whether it is pleasurable or not.

If the blue light doesn't come soon, when the future John said then I'm going to go to the game and worry about the consequences of this mess later. I don't know what I'll do then. That other Beadle, he's an ass... and the feeling seems mutual. I don't think its easy to get along with oneself. Not that - wait okay that is odd. There is no roof on this place. No one else seems to care. It is night but the sky is hazy blue - I don't see stars. I feel tight a tightening a

Fri Jan 16, 2004 9:50 am

Okay, I don't want it said again that I have too much time on my hands or that I'm a troll. One of you has obviously gotten my yahoogroup password and has been taking us on a mystical tour ever since. It almost would have to be Happy Roostah because I got this odd letter from "John Street" (says it's from him anyhow) with a Philadelphia government address on it and everything. Anyway this whole trip to Philly and the Duke game and the alien abduction bit
was funny as hell but I changed my yahoogroups password anyway - enough is enough. It is odd though, I don't remember much since the Packers lost to the Eagles. Some kind of post traumatic syndrome or something? And I completely missed the Duke game last night. Last
but not least, my ass does feel great. Not to go into too much detail but man it feels good. Usually I don't feel much at all there or if anything it is sore from being sick, y'know what I mean? How often does it feel good? Never pretty much. But it feels like heaven in there right now. Very odd.

jb
-chicken

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