5 Ways to Passive-Aggressively Annoy Your Significant Other

For extra evil...

• Dip the spoon in water and then roll it in flour each time before replacing it in the sink. This concoction is difficult to clean, especially after an hour or two.
• Coat the spoon in oil, which will get all over your significant other's hands each time he or she picks it up.

You will need...

• A few spoons
• A boring day when both of you are at home
• Lots of passive aggressive rage

The Spoon Trick is a sure way to increase the blood pressure of your significant other and maybe even make him/her question the sanity of the universe (or themselves).

1. Wait until your significant other has cleared the sink of dishes.
2. Take one of your spoons and set it in an obvious part of the sink.
3. Wait.
4. When your partner returns to the kitchen and clears the sink, put another spoon in the exact same spot.
5. Repeat until there's rage.

You will need...

• Ninja stealth skills
• A working bath or shower
• No respect for universal karma

The Missing Towel Trick has small up-front rewards but profound long-term rewards, if practiced diligently. Smart passive aggressive activists know to make the missing towel look like the partner's doing.

1. Wait until your significant other enters the shower.
2. Enter the bathroom and remove all nearby bath towels.
3. If your significant other has brought in a towel specifically for the shower, move it to somewhere inconvenient but where he or she might have realistically set it on accident. My personal favorite: the closed toilet seat on the other side of the bathroom.
4. Repeat for as many showers as possible until significant other begins hunting for towel gnomes.

For extra evil,,,

• Grab several of your partner's favorite pairs of socks and mix them up with your own socks. Then, exclaim loudly that someone has mixed up all your socks. Blame your spouse.

You will need...

• Pairs of your significant other's socks in different colors and patterns
• An intense desire to bring evil into the world

The Mismatched Sock Trick leads to paranoia and confusion on the part of the significant other. If he or she asks whether or not you're responsible, always say "No." If the significant other does the laundry, remind him or her that matching socks is not your responsibility.

1. Wait until significant other has left the room or house.
2. Find as many of your significant other's socks with differing patterns and colors as possible.
3. Hastily remove one sock from each pair and unite it with one from a separate pair.
4. Repeat every laundry day until death.

You will need...

• One unwieldy shoe belonging to your significant other
• Cat-like movements
• No desire whatsoever to procreate in the near future

The Misplaced Shoe Trick is the sort of passive aggressive perfection that unites true annoyance with a small chance for minor injury.

1. Wait until your significant other is occupied elsewhere.
2. Sneak into his or her shoe selection. Pick out a truly inconvenient shoe. Personal favorites: hiking boots or high heels.
3. With all the stealth and grace you can muster, place the shoe in a well-traveled area, preferably one you know your significant other plans on using soon.
4. Significant other will find shoe, possibly even trip over it, and express consternation that it's out of the closet, at which point he or she may even return it.
5. Repeat. For fun, try a different shoe each time! The smaller it is, the more likely it is he or she will trip. The larger it is, the more inconvenient it is to step over and put away.

For extra evil...

• Hide all the underwear and leave nothing in the laundry bin to save your partner. You may want to find a convenient reason to leave the house after this one.
• Switch all the dirty underwear in the laundry bin with the clean underwear in the drawer.
• Hide all the underwear with the unfolded clean laundry, where he or she will look last, in confusion.

You will need...

• All of your significant other's underwear.
• The household laundry basket
• Grade school or better hiding skills
• A psychotic hunger for passive aggression

The Inconvenient Underwear Trick is perhaps the most evil of all the methods. Beginners who don't plan on an immediate divorce should start slow.

1. Wait until your significant other is out of bed but not yet dressed for the day.
2. When he or she hits the shower or the bathroom, sneak over to their underwear drawer and remove ALL clean pairs of underwear. If possible, remove all clean underwear from the laundry room, as well.
3. Use your super hiding skills to hide all but one pair of underwear somewhere nearby and ultra-secretive.
4. Jump up and down on the one pair of underwear until it looks wrinkled and worn. Throw it on top of the laundry basket.
5. When your significant other goes to put on underwear, he or she will find nothing and resort to the laundry bin, at which point they'll discover the "dirty" pair you planted.
6. Before you secretly enjoy the knowledge that your significant other thinks he or she is wearing dirty underwear, replace all the underwear in the drawer.