Perfect Parting Gifts - Gifts for the Newly Divorced!
The Perfect Ending...
...to a "not so perfect" relationship. After all.
Not only is the divorce rate holding steady or rising, couples that have been sustaining long term marriages are divorcing now more than ever. In 2009, over 600,000 people were divorced who were over the age of 50. The term "Gray Divorce" has been coined to reflect the number of people in this group who are getting divorced.
Some of the most significant reasons for divorce cited were based upon feelings that they had just had not found the "right" person for them.
Psychologists suggest that the length of life could be the culprit. Medicine is better. People are living longer and discovering that forever is just too long to stick with their partner after all. Now we have the "me" attitude and we own it. We live in a time where we are not expected to sacrifice our own happiness for another.
Thoughts such as, "I deserve to be free and live a happy life...I raised the children and served the equivalent of one life sentence already," are trending.
Divorce is now an event worthy of hallmark cards and showers!
In fact, according to Your Tango, the expert relationship advice website, they are hosting their third annual, "Break Up With Your Ex Campaign."
Break Up with Your Ex Campaign begins on February 1 and ends on February 13 as the final, break up target date. It is strategically planned to coincide with Valentines Day. These experts can guide you through a painful process that culminates with the cutting of all apron strings left between you and your ex, online and off.
Say Goodbye - Forever
Sometimes, it's just good to say goodbye forever. If divorce is in the future then the ex probably shouldn't be, unless there are children involved. Making a clean break is usually the fastest way to end your lingering feelings for the hasbeen.
One of the best ways to end a relationship is with a parting gift. This gift will be what your ex will remember as the last thing that you gave them so it's important to make an impact!
I have experienced the bitter end of a marriage and I hesitate to waste the ideas that I didn't use so I will be glad to share them with those of you who may need some helpful advice!
For the Person Who Cheated With The Sexitary
A high number of people cheat with someone in the office. For this reason, one of my top picks for the ex would be the game of "Clue - The Office Edition."
You could add a little tag that says, "it was your secretary! In the office! On the couch!"
For the Man with the New GF before the DE-Vorce
I love it when a guy starts dating a new girl before the divorce is even final or the ink is dry. For the guy who ditches the long time wife for the sexy college age girl, I'd send him a de-worming kit for dogs. I might add a note that I'd seen his skinny new girlfriend and I suspect she may have a tapeworm.
Or perhaps "Weener Kleener Soap" might be appropriate. You could add a personal touch by informing him that it did not come in a smaller size.
Gifts for HER (the ex HER)
I certainly don't want to pick on the men. There are a special sort of women that make me wonder if the man stays because he fears her. These are always those "in-charge" women that seem to brow beat their spouses. They do not fear letting the entire world know what a fowl up she was tricked into marrying.
For the men that find the courage to part, mailing a parting gift is a great way to avoid a final confrontation conversation.
The Hillary Nutcracker and a Bag O Mixed Nuts would be perfect!
Or maybe the Brass Balls Keyring would be better?
If you are concerned for her safety...
A Safety Flare is a perfect parting gift for the lady who continues to call you to help you fix her problems. If you are tired of coming to the rescue send her a safety flare and tell her to keep it handy and you are sure the "right" guy will see it and come to her aid.
For the woman who spent all your money at Wal-Mart? She might appreciate a roll of hundred dollar bills!
End it Perfectly
If your relationship turned into "Happily Never After," it might be time for you to sever the ties and move on with your life. 75% of people surveyed after a break-up admitted they were still having thoughts about their exes.
There is no better way to say a final goodbye than sending a gift. Make it perfect. Make it say all the things that you want them to remember you by and then, giddyup!
Jill & Kevin's Last Dance...
"Anybody who's been through a divorce will tell you that at one point they've thought of murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn't that major." ~Oliver Stone
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