Phil Spector Murderer Or Just Victim Of Bad Hair

Phil Spector Murderer? I don't know but that hair is killing me!

(Sung to the tune of "Dear Mr. Gable") Dear Mr. Spector, I am writing this to you and I hope that you will read it, so you'll know. My heart beats like a hammer and I stuttered and I stammer every time I see the hairstyle you chose. I guess I'm just another fan of yours and I thought I'd write and tell you so oh, oh oh. Enough. I don't know if he killed someone or not but I do know that whoever has been doing the hair of this music legend needs to be shot. Phil Spector, killer or just a victim of bad hair? - Don't Get Me Started!

For those of you who have no idea who Spector is (other than a freaky looking defendant) he created the unique Wall of Sound with his 60's girl groups. He was truly a genius (and a Jew) - I know you're thinking that Einstein was the only Jewish genius (kind of fun to say) but there have been many and Phil Spector was one of them in his time. Unfortunately, now it's all about the murder that took place in his house. While some would focus on the murder, I prefer to discuss the real issue, his hair.

I too have been the victim of hair don'ts through the years (look no further than to the right side of this page). And to his defense, when you're trapped in that chair getting your hair done, the person with the scissors just seems to make so much sense. It's like buying jewelry in a store, always take it outside into the light of reality before purchasing (even if you have to do so with the salesperson attached to your hip) because they know exactly how to light those places to make things look better than they truly are in reality. The same can be said for some hairstylists, while they're cutting away, chatting about their bad relationship (if you know what's good for you, you will engage in as little conversation as possible because the more they talk, the more they cut) and spin you around in the mirror, things can look half way decent. That is until you get out into the light of day.

One of my worst experiences was a perm. Now several "stylists" have talked me into perms through the years. What can I say? I was foolish, I was young, and while I had poker straight and thin hair my brother's was what I thought I wanted, the complete opposite, thick and curly. You always want in life what you can't have and for some reason you think that that although you can't have the perfect mate, car, or anything else in your life, a stylist can make what you think you should have a reality. What you don't realize is that there's a reason you shouldn't have what you think you should have in some cases. Hairstyles are definitely one of them. Well, I got the perm that was (according to the stylist) supposed to give me volume and make my hair so much thicker looking. Instead I looked like Harpo Marx. Because the bitch had left the solution on too long, my hair color had lightened about three shades from dark brown to a dirty blonde and because my hair was so thin, you could actually see where she had rolled the rods up. I looked like a human Q-tip with track marks in his head. (See Spector "before" picture, think me at thirteen). I remember going to meet my father and brother for dinner after the perm. As my mother and I sat down at the table in the restaurant I remember looking across the table to see my brother desperately trying not to laugh and my father calculating how long this "phase" would last. (Thank God for all parties concerned this "phase" did not last long at all. I can't say the same for some others.)

The thing is that when you sit in a stylist's chair they can talk you into all sorts of things so Phil I want to say that I feel your pain but Dear Mr. Spector you've gone to the other end of the spectrum now and someone needs to defend you from your stylist, yourself or maybe both of you. Whoever is doing your hair has taken you from that permed, palmed out huge do to the 1977 Dorothy Hamill. This "new" style will not make you seem more normal to the jury, in fact, I'm afraid it's going to make you seem all the nuttier. (From the musical Mame when the characters Mame and Vera are singing the song, "Bosom Buddies" Vera: Though now and again I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting. Mame: Though often my frank observation might scald; I've been meaning to tell you for years, you should keep your hair natural like mine. Vera: If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald!) I too have made bad hair mistakes but your life really depends on it this time so get rid of the John Denver blonde do and go for something more natural like mine Because as my mother always says, they'll forgive you anything if you have a strong finish and at the moment, you need someone who knows how to finish that hair of yours! Phil Spector, killer or just a victim of bad hair? - Don't Get Me Started!

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