Plant Racism: Hatred in the Garden and the Humans Who Condone It

Introduction:

In a land that prides itself on equality and acceptance of all, the United States has a bad habit of touting its respect for life while standing on the throats of one group of living beings or another all the time.

Now, while I accept that the fight for universal freedom in the U.S. has been (and is) a process - great things don't happen overnight - and while I respect that at least we, here, have allowed that process to take place, I would like to point out that we are not quite there yet.

Our people are free to pursue their dreams now, and that's great. We are even taking great measures to fight for the rights of animals now too, our animals are getting their due (albeit in many cases way too late). But what about plants?

Did you know that right now in America there are hundreds of thousands of plants that are being systematically persecuted, tortured and destroyed? That's right, you heard me, hundreds of thousands of species being wantonly killed for no other reason than the fact that they belong to a specific race of plant. And it's not just humans perpetrating this racist behavior, but other plant species as well. Frankly, it's an outrage.

In the light of a Hubmob project meant to encourage plant growth, health and happiness, I am here to speak out in the name of humanity, in the name of plantanity, to defend these voiceless victims of premeditated plant hate.

The Victims

To begin, we need to look at who is suffering. I think it's important to put a face to those being persecuted, poisoned and plucked out. The truth is, the numbers are so huge, I can't even include them all here, but I will include some of those that you might be most familiar with, the ones living amongst us all, even with you in your neighborhood.

Do you recognize any of these?
Do you recognize any of these?

The Perpetrators

Those above are the abused and the victimized. They are the victims. But who is at fault? Who is behind the misery and death? The attempted plant-genocide? Well, below are a few of the main culprits. Not all of them, mind you, but a good enough sampling to give you an idea. Perhaps enough to make you think about what you might have growing in your yard, or whose farming or business interests you might support.

Are you supporting plant hate? Are any of these close to you?

Click thumbnail to view full-size
Coffee.Peppermint RoseWheatCornYour LawnMorning Glory Vine.TomatoDaffodilCarrotsLantana.IrisOrangesRed Rose.TobaccoBanannasLilac.StrawberriesSunflowerFern.Truffle.
Coffee.
Coffee.
Peppermint Rose
Peppermint Rose
Wheat
Wheat
Corn
Corn
Your Lawn
Your Lawn
Morning Glory Vine.
Morning Glory Vine.
Tomato
Tomato
Daffodil
Daffodil
Carrots
Carrots
Lantana.
Lantana.
Iris
Iris
Oranges
Oranges
Red Rose.
Red Rose.
Tobacco
Tobacco
Banannas
Banannas
Lilac.
Lilac.
Strawberries
Strawberries
Sunflower
Sunflower
Fern.
Fern.
Truffle.
Truffle.

The numbers are large.

Yes, all of these are in on it. As you can see, there are many, and again, these are just a small sample to give you an idea of how large this problem is, how common it is. Do you recognize any of them? I bet you do. I bet you've even worked to ensure the survival of some of these particular plants.

It may seem innocent enough to you that you do it. It's normal behavior, taught to you by your parents, who learned it from their parents who learned it from theirs and so on throughout modern history. But, just because something has been done a certain way, just because attitudes lean toward particular "reality" does not mean that these attitudes and behaviors are right, fair or true. To understand this further, we need to examine the history.

Plant artillery at work.
Plant artillery at work.

The History

Prior to what humans believe to be "their time atop the food chain", and even prior to the "domination" of the planet going back to the time of the dinosaurs, there began a great plant war, known as The Great Flora War. Plant species for reasons lost to the ages began separating into factions, the Plants and the Weeds.

Now anyone who knows anything about horticulture or even just basic gardening can tell you that a "plant" is, well, a plant: a thing that grows in the soil utilizing nutrients from the ground and from water and developing itself through photosynthetic processes. A plant is a plant. There is no distinction between a plant and a weed other than a matter of opinion.

Plu

Forensic artist's rendering of "Plu," as reconstructed from archaeological evidence.
Forensic artist's rendering of "Plu," as reconstructed from archaeological evidence.

However, way back in history, a few species of plants decided they didn't like some other species of plants. One of these, a huge and thorny rose bush known only as Plu, began a movement to rid the great garden of the plants he did not like. He built quite a following and soon all his friends and favored species began running around trying to pluck out any plant they didn't like, just pulling them up where they grew, no matter where, be it forest, jungle, mountain or plain.

Besides plucking out his enemies, Plu found a useful tool in language. He and his conspirators coined the term "weed" to distinguish and isolate those plant races they did not like, a label to apply to some plants but not others. By continued plucking and by using this epithet "weed," Plu and his followers were able to marginalize the Weeds and push them to the edges and outlands of the great global garden, out into the rocks and infertile soil. It was an insidious plan, eventually to be called the Plu Plucks Plan, which ultimately became the cornerstone of the Plant hate group the PPP.

PPP members.
PPP members.
Weeds relegated to the rocks and shitty soil.
Weeds relegated to the rocks and shitty soil.

The Weeds Fight for Freedom

The Weeds weren't stupid, and they grew tough as well. Out there amongst the rocks and shitty soil, the Weeds made allies with the snakes and other reptiles that were cast out of the great garden (yes, the Eden parallel is not lost here, and there is a whole line of theological study that supports everything I am saying now regarding why there was only one snake in there by the time Adam and Eve came into the picture. But that's another story).

Well the Weeds fed the lizards and snakes with all their might, developing exotic chemical compounds like THC and opiates to give their dreams of retaking the garden palpability. The weeds fed the lizards and snakes with great enthusiasm, making themselves as palatable and nutritious as they could for reptilian digestive tracts. They gave all the energy they could until finally the lizards became HUGE, evolving into "dinosaurs" or "terrible lizards" (more accurately "fearfully great lizard," but I digress).

Weeds conversing with dinosaur ally. (Notice there is no "garden of Eden" for these Weeds and creatures, they live in barren climes.))

The Weeds and their formidable allies the dinosaurs moved back into the garden of Eden - if you will allow me the term - and began wanton destruction on the Plants, bringing retribution for all the years of being marginalized. A single dinosaur could eat hundreds and hundreds of pounds worth of Plants every day. Ultimately the Weed armies were successful and the once arrogant Plants fell into considerable decline. What followed was The Great Age of Weeds.

However, unbeknownst to the Weeds, the Plants that survived learned from the Weed strategies and began making animal allies of their own: with the mammals, and foremost amongst them, Humans.

Plant deception technique #1
Plant deception technique #1
The plot became insidiously complex.
The plot became insidiously complex.

The Plant factions wooed the humans in much the same fashion as the Weeds had wooed the reptiles, by feeding them. Plus, the Plants played on the humans' weakness as well to control them even more tightly than the Weeds did their dinosaur friends.

Plants recognized immediately how female humans loved the sweet scents and pretty colors of some flowers and they went out of their way to encourage the more aromatic plants to thrive. In addition, Plant studies showed that male humans were total horndogs of enormous proportions. Some of the more manipulative Plants began convincing male humans that they could get laid more frequently by giving female humans bunches of these aromatic and colorful flowers, which ultimately proved to be a highly successful tactic - so much so that human males became entirely dependent on it for reproductive success. This Plant strategy eventually lead to entire human industries of flower arrangement, perfume and other scented body products that are still in use today.

The greatest of the Weed allies was no match for even an old and blind Plant ally. The mammals prevailed on behalf of their Plant masters.

Humans Make the Difference

Ultimately, the Plants and their large-brained, opposable thumb-wielding allies threw the Weeds and their reptillian compatriots back to the edges of the great planetary garden.

Afterwards, Weed allies, the dinosaurs, were systematically starved to death as the Weed numbers diminished after the end of the great assault. The Weeds simply could no longer keep their giant friends alive on their own, not while under siege. And the Plant factions intentionally made themselves indigestible to dinosaurs until they finally died out almost completely, excepting for a few stunted varieties that survived as carnivores, angry and deranged.

Plants have continued to manipulate humans into doing their dirty work for them over the millennia and even used them to create made-up stories about what "really" happened to the dinosaurs to cover up for all the cruelty they perpetrated against the Weeds and the dinosaurs. Nothing is different today. The lengths to which Plants will go (through their stooge humans) is cruel beyond measure.

The PPP still practicing hate today.
The PPP still practicing hate today.

Plant Hatred and Extremism

Victory was not enough for the Plants and they still fight to keep the Weeds down to this very day, and they practice elaborate secret ceremonies to keep the hatred fresh in their angry Plant hearts.

They deploy their human minions to poison weeds mercilessly, to pluck them out of the garden if they do get a family started, and even to try to eat them when they can. For the most part, Weeds have done a good job copying the old Plant strategy of making themselves inedible to humans in order to survive the last of these attack techniques, but sometimes, in the example of the poor Dandelion, humans will still eat the young leaves out of spite.

What is worse, the Plants are arrogant and rub the misery of the Weeds in their faces every chance they get. Most humans aren't even aware of how cruel their Plant masters are because they aren't trained to see just what it is that's going on. However, I, being a horticultural savant, have seen the taunting and find it sickening at best.

Look at the following picture as an example. What you see at first seems merely to be an Iris. I'm sure since most of you reading this are human, you will probably see nothing untoward in this image at all.

But have a good long look and then I will show you what you missed.

Just an Iris, right?

Dandelion family trying to live in peace.
Dandelion family trying to live in peace.

Alright, harmless, right? WRONG. This Iris is caught red handed giving "the finger" to a pair of Weeds who are merely trying to get a family started in a small unused portion of a garden. (This is a gesture learned from humans, by the way, as there is no evidence of this gesture prior to recent times in Plant or Weed history.) You'll notice that it's even doing it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN!

I realize some of you may not have the trained eye that I do, so I will outline the gesture for you. Look carefully at the picture below, and then the side-by-side-by-side that follows that, and you will see clearly that the gesture is exactly as I say it is. You just have to know what you're looking for.

Here is my "translation" of the Iris' gesture for you to see.

Side By Side ... Can you see it now?

Coincidence?  I think not.
Coincidence? I think not.

Well, the connection is pretty clear at this point, and it points to an ongoing conspiracy being perpetrated by the Plants. The only question is, can anything be done?

End the Great Flora War

The answer is, "Yes, something can be done."

As you can see, there is clearly a Plant cabal going on here and, to be honest, it makes me sick. Now look, I'm not advocating for the overthrow of the Plants. I'm not. What would that do but start yet another cycle of hate and violence?

My point is that Plants and people need to recognize what it is they do. This labeling of "Weed" is nonsense. We must stop using the hate-filled language foist upon us by the Plants and give the word "Plant" back to all of them.

(And no, the fact that some Weeds call each other Weed does not make it right.)

Stop the hatred. Bring love and peace back into the world. End The Great Flora War. It's gone on long enough.

Looking Forward

Some of you may not care. Some of you may have read this far and be thinking, whatever, I like corn and asparagus, and I like roses and the way my wife's lilac shampoo smells when she gets out of the shower at night.

Fine. Keep that attitude up. Do it. But let me just show you one more thing.

This is a Morning Glory Vine

This is supposed to be one of our Plant allies.  Isn't it pretty?
This is supposed to be one of our Plant allies. Isn't it pretty?

But what about this:

Doesn't that seem a bit invasive of this patio? Doesn't this seem a bit aggressive from a so called "ally" to move into my patio?

Yes, it is.

And that's not the worst of it.

Plants are watching us. They're not stupid you know. They've been running things for millions and millions of years, playing dumb, acting like they just grow all, duhhhhh, in the ground. But they watch.

Just last night, after I wrote the first draft of this article, I went out with my kids to start the barbeque.

Look what happened.

When Plants attack!

Plant Nark
Plant Nark

It almost ate my daughter!

It's not so funny anymore is it? Yeah, I don't hear you laughing so loud now, Oh Skeptical One. A picture is worth a thousand words and some pictures just bring it home, don't they?

So there you see it: the Plants attacked. They won't tolerate a rebellion, and they know we ( or at least I) am watching. I'm not sure how this Morning Glory found out about the article, but I'm thinking the Ficus in my den narked me out.

We were able to save my daughter this time, but next time we might not be as lucky. This is not a game. Stop the hate before it is too late.

More by this Author


Comments 158 comments

t.keeley profile image

t.keeley 7 years ago from Seattle, WA

LOFL

Hilarious.

I'm in.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

"Plantanity" and "Plu Plucks Plan" are but two pearls on a long strand. Very funny! So many gems to unearth, it keeps the reader involved wondering what could possibly come next. I had no idea of this history. You are indeed an expert.

(P.S. How do you do that thumbnail thing?)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Thanks, T. Kelley, the Weeds need you.

And Christoph, trust you to find my favorites too. (The thumbnail thing is actualy an option IN the photo module, just look and you'll see a drop down menu for it. Then all you gotta do is load up some pics.)


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

*smacks my forehead*

I have one question and one question only...

How long did you spend giggling as you taped those little PPP caps onto that poor plant? LOL! You are seriously demented and I wish I lived closer so I could have that kind of fun too! :)

Btw...I love weeds. My backyard is a haven.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

We must end the plant prejudice today. I personally love native Southern California flower plants as opposed to having a perfectly manicured lawn. These flowers and plants are desert hardy and require less water than green, green grass.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Spyte, I'm still giggling. lol.

Yes, SweetiePie, way to be truly open-minded AND care for the environment. While your lawn may have been popularized by the propagandist regime of Plant dominion, those flowers are true blue. /salute


Jewels profile image

Jewels 7 years ago from Australia

I will never look at my bearded Iris's in the same way again!


pgrundy 7 years ago

Is that you in the vines on your patio? You are a handsome devil.

And you blame the vine.

Clearly you were begging for it.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Plu plux plan and I thought I was confused. Shades this is a brilliant hub. A mind like yours needs to be removed, encased in glass and fed a diet of pure oxygen. It of course also requires a direct radio link into a computer (or two or three) so that that your prolific ramblings and writings can have an outlet destination, without being distracted by the humanities. perhaps it can preserved in alcohol (beer) which improve the functionaity. Also this would be for your own safety, to save you from the attack of the killer patio vines.

Or, you are a fruit of the vine, in which case your avatar betrays you sir.

Great hub.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida

HA!!! This was great!!! I decided long ago to let the weeds do their own thing. It makes gardening so much easier. And really, what is a weed, but just a wildflower. It grows there for a reason. Great hub!!!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Shades, wow! How in the hell do you come up with this stuff? I am blown away.

I had no idea that my Irises where giving me the finger. I have a yard full of them as they are they only plants I have not killed and that's the gratitude I get. I am pissed now. I'm gonna mow them down. Ok I probably won't but I won't be as nice to them. The part about females loving the sweet scent and pretty colors reminded me of a story. I worked at the local newspaper typing stories, my husband sent me a dozen roses for Valentine's day (which is also our anniversary) and my boss came into my office and saw the flowers and said Damn, you must sw----w! I laughed so hard over this. He was always saying stuff to make me laugh.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Still laughing now, and I loved the picture of the Morning Glory in attack mode. I guess it is true what they say, 'a weed is simply a plant growing in the wrong place'.


kerryg profile image

kerryg 7 years ago from USA

Ha! You are awesome!

Personally, I've always been rather fond of dandelions. They're so cheery. One of these days I'm also planning on giving my neighbors a heart attack by deliberately planting more clover in my remaining lawn as well... Clover >>>>> Grass


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Yes, Jewel, but the truth has set you free!

Pgrundy, unfortunately, no, that lean youthful figure is not me; it's my kid.  If the vines had attacked me it would have looked more like somone had the Stay Puff Marshmallow man stuffed into a butterfly net.  But I do appreciate that moment in your mind where I was svelt again.  :)   lol

Sixty, I'm totally down with the preservation in booze part; I'm actually working on that now.  I'm not sure I'm up for removal though.  I'd be like one of those people in the jars in that cartoon Futurama.  I like my tactile, visceral stuff too much (especially food and boobies).  Thanks for the words of encouragement, your approval only bodes more of this absurdity from me in the future.

EXACTLY, Anna Marie.  YOU, madam, have a progressive mind, and you'll be welcome in the garden by all plant factions.

Gwendy, I have no idea where this crap comes from.  I think Thalia gets really drunk and I'm like her booty call or something; this is the crap she pukes into me when she's done giving all the publishable comedy to Hollywood.  Speaking of puking, um, so do you sw----w?  ROFL  (j/k, don't want to know).  (Ok, that's a lie, but don't tell me anyway.) (Unless you want to.) (Damn, I need to get out of here now.)

Misty, yes it's true.  One man's weed is another mans, uh, plant.  Ok, so I won't be creating any new addages today. 

Kerryg, I hear clover tastes better to critters too, so you'll be providing your fellow mammals will sweeter salads. Nice work. (And thanks for the kind words.)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

You know if you guys shot cheesecake out of that thing it wouldn't be an issue. I think I will keep that my secret!


cgull8m profile image

cgull8m 7 years ago from North Carolina

Shades, it is hilarious, you made our day here. Cheers :)


Bob Ewing profile image

Bob Ewing 7 years ago from New Brunswick

The weed underground is growing, weeds unite!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

We're working on it, Gwendy, don't think we aren't.  Two straight days of nothing but pineapple and pineapple juice does come close though.

Cgull8m, good, I'm glad.  /Cheers!

They are, Bob, they are!  Thanks, and Power to the Weeds!


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

My, what a fertile imagination and green opposable thumbs you have! Magical!!!

Reminds me of a poem written to me by Eric Waldron in the 3rd grade:

Susan Reid, you're a weed, and how does your garden grow? As a weed, you should know!

Guess there's no hiding which side of the shitty soil I'm on. If my experience can in any way help the downtrodden yet overgrown, I'm more than willing to share it!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

THe voices tell me what to write; I'm just their secretary, MM. And what a sweet, sweet poem that guy wrote. No wonder you still remember it today. Power to the Weeds!


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 7 years ago

GREAT Hub Shadesbreath!

Too funny for words!! I've been working with an artist friend all week promoting his artwork - a colorful watercolor titled, "Water It Anyway!!"

My friend was sitting on his back porch looking at an odd misplaced red flower of some kind he couldn't identify!! While deciding if he should pull it as a weed, or fertilize it as a flower, he realized its beauty transcended category!! So he watered it anyway!!

Thanks for sharing!! Again GREAT Hub!!

Blessings always, Earth Angel!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

See, it's all a matter of perspective. If that ole raggedy Plu hadn't put the weed idea into our heads, we might all have those pretty red flowers growing near by. :)

Thanks for the nice words, and blessings to you too.


Melissa G profile image

Melissa G 7 years ago from Tempe, AZ

Shadesbreath, it's such a relief to finally see someone addressing the countless years of genocide that have been inflicted upon the poor, defenseless Weeds because of the tenants set forth in the hate-filled Plu Plucks Plan. We need more courageous people like you to take a stand against the obscene gestures made by Irises everywhere, and the brutal tactics used by Morning Glories to take over our lands and threaten our personal freedoms.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Yes, someone had to do it. I take this responsibility on at great personal peril (or at least great peril to my daughter, lol poor thing had to go take a shower after that there was so much stuff in her hair lol), because I am a concerned citizen of the Earth and stuff, etc.


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 7 years ago from California Gold Country

Good stuff, Shadesbreath,

If you could see my garden now you would know there is hope-- The weeds are fighting back and have overun the cukecumbers. (P.S. Thanks for the featured Hubber nomination.)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

DOWN WITH THE CUCUMBERS!!! THEY MUST PAY.

And you're welcome. I got my newsletter and read your interview and then checked out your Earthquake article. Great stuff. You deserved to be featured.


mumz 7 years ago

PPP LOL!


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

A weed is just a flower that you have not found yet. A rose is a rose is a rose and a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. It took me a while to figure out what sw----w mean't. Ok I'm slow.


Constant Walker profile image

Constant Walker 7 years ago from Springfield, Oregon

Hilarious. You truly are disturbed... to proportions as yet unseen in mankind. One has to be concerned...


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Sixty, sorry it took you awhile, I'm pretty sure that could have gotten this hub shut down as some comments on Brainstormers hub got his shut down. BTW has anyone seen him aroung lately? I've missed him.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

I was wondering what had happened to Brainstormer too he hasn't written a hub or commented anywhere in ages.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Don't feel bad Sixty, I had to think about it for a bit too. Did Brainstormer's whole hub get censored oecause of comments? Or just the comments? And yeah, he has been sort of MIA lately.

And thanks CW. I might be a bit over the top, but I can't help it, so, I've learned to live with it, as have those who endure me on a day to day basis.


2chevys 7 years ago

Wish I had found this way to justify not doing yardwork before I attacked the killer weeds yesterday, SIL


pylos26 7 years ago

i read it too shades and found it truly intertaining...pylos26


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

But now you have that excuse, so you're good for next weekend and all the weekends to come!

And thanks Pylos, appreciate your support. :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Checked it out and Brain's hub is still there, but the last time he joined a fan club was about two weeks ago!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Okay, have left a post on on his hub 'Hot Hot Hub to Oblivion' asking him to let us know where he is here on this hub, so hopefully we might hear from him :)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Maybe he went on vacation or something. Us brain avatar people have to watch out for each other, you know?


funnebone profile image

funnebone 7 years ago from Philadelphia Pa

You think you are all high and mighty don't you? Mister eco-buddy, defender of the wilted, the uprooted and the sheared. Well let me ask you this Mr. green heart, how much love would you have for a plant if it rendered you useless on perhaps one of the greatest nights of your life?

Prom night 1988: Sally Rufo and I sneak off behind the barn and in the cover of darkness disrobe and run through the meadow, expressing our potential love and present intoxication. As we embrace under the watchful moon we fall to the ground, interlocking ourselves to stave off time. We roll and tussle in a playful battle, each attempting to gain the higher ground. Her fight gave in as I rolled her onto her back and admired the light as it glistened off her retainer. I reached behind her head and pulled her to me in a forceful kiss and her fingers dug into my back. The harder I held her, the mightier her grip, clawing into my flesh and moaning into my soul. The pain of her grip was welcome, but the biting of my tongue was unexpected and harsh. I drew back and grabbed my mouth, shocked and bleeding. She shoved me with both hands to by back and jumped to her feel with a howling scream. She slapped at her delicate rear end and dancer in circles, crying to the midnight sky. The burning in my loins became powerful as I looked at her precious skin and wondered if it was blood droplets that i saw. The pride of taking her womanhood began to sink in until she she screamed to be " I have thorns in my ass you idiot" Imy ego and manhood soon began to deflat yet the burning in my loins was now reaching a fevorous level and itching was replacing the sting. She started crying as I started scratching and we both began running.

I spent the next 2 weeks housebond with calamine lotion on my body.

I never saw her again, thanks to your cutesy, pretty plants.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

LOL

I mean, not "lol". Of course that is a horrible story and I would never laugh at such an unfortunately circumstance, particularly one so exquisitely told and including romantic details like light reflecting off of retainers.

However, as unfortunate as this story is, the truth is, how does the behavior of those weeds surprise you, given how poorly weeds are treated by your species, humanity? Hmm?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

LOL. I would laugh at Funnebones expense as I would at anyone elses. And I did.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Yeah, I laughed too, I was trying to pretend I'm nice and stuff.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

oh, sorry. didn't mean to blow your rep for you, my bad.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

You're forgiven. This time.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

oh Shades, not only are you brilliant but merciful too.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

I could never argue with a lady.


livesolutions profile image

livesolutions 7 years ago

Absolutely Wonderful.


Brainstormer profile image

Brainstormer 7 years ago from Australia

Funny as Shades.

I loved the PPP and I wish them well although I could never publicly support all their methods.

I think the difference between weeds and plants may be related to their after life. When a plant dies, which they seem to do ever so easily, they wilt and sag and fall to the ground where their life essence is reabsorbed as mulch back into the ground. When a weed dies or is killed, which is not all that easy to achieve, it comes back with a vengeance and usually with a few mates. Weeds reincarnate and when a weed dies it simply becomes thorn again.

Apologies for being MIA. I have been working hard to keep the business on the right side of profitability. Thankfully Summer has arrived in the Land of Oz which means I can get out of my office and go play in the bush. We make most of our money fighting bush fires.

I have missed you all and all your good humour.

Great hub Shades

P.S. I killed some weeds yesterday, and I liked it.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Thanks Livesolutions. :)

Brainstormer, great to see you man. Your ears must have been burning. heh. But, seriously, you are a Weed hater. How else do you think they would act, given how you treat them? And plants die easily because they have grown soft in their dominance. The Weeds are toughened by their sparse lifestyle while Plants grow fat and doughy luxuriating in gardens that are tilled for them and strewn with fatty fertilizers. Of course Weeds are hard to kill.

Glad to hear you're still profitable. I'd say have fun fighting fire in the bush (and I'd make a crude bush joke, but it's too early for that here.) Good to see you.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Great to have you back Brain :)


Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 7 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

Very enjoyable read :)

Stop racism now!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

In all its forms, it's never pretty!


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA

Hahahahaha....I had so much fun reading your hub...How do you see the way you do? That is my question! LOL


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Dottie, it boggles the mind doesn't it? I wonder the very same thing. I am begining to question wether he is even human. He is such a great writer, funny, forgiving, imaginative, and sexy (that brain just does something for me). That's more good just than one mans body can handle. I think we better take a closer look and find out who is really behind this man called Shadesbreath.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

To quote William Shakespeare: "one swallow does not a summer make" besides you guys are going into winter and we are going into summer. So I am watching out for the migrating swallows but the finches are decimating (there I 've used the word) the plant new growth population to build their hanging nests!

I guess the march of the weeds are bit like that of killer tomatoes!Somewhat unstoppable once they get going.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Dottie, I believe the answer to your question resides in the grip of my avatar's left hand. lol. I'm glad you enjoyed this hub, I had a blast writing it. The truth is, I have no idea where these ideas come from, they show up, I put them down and often think the same thing when I read back over what came out. I'm like, "What the hell? Where'd that come from?" I credit Thalia for everything that works and blame myself for the rest.

Gwendy, all I can do is blush and say thank you.

Sixty, were there 10 plants for the decimating? or were the finches killing every 10th one? lol. (I can only assume you're making fun of Paraglider picking on me the other day.) And you know what, somehow I never got to see that movie, you just made me put it on my Netflix. I'd forgotten all about it.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA

Shadesbreath...I was thinking the same thing while I was reading....what the hell, where did that come from?  BTW what is that exactly in your left hand grip...And don't just tell me it's beer....LOL

 

Gwendy...I can understand your thoughts about wondering whether or not he is human...I mean look at his avatar....is that human?  where is it from?  how old is it?  is it suffering?  does he need help?  so many questions that need answers.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

The funny thing is someone speculated that the "tail" coming out of the brain was a sperm tail. It's been called a stick too. When I drew it, I was going for a spinal cord, but, well, this is why I'm not an artist lol.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Errr...I knew it was a spinal cord. And you actually drew that? I'm impressed...don't go saying you aren't an artist.

Didn't realize how many comments I missed on your hub so I'm catching up right now while I wait to see what nastiness ol' "J" will spew next on the forum. :) I also wonder sometimes where your muse comes from and after seeing something you write, recovering from an extreme bout of word envy, I smack myself in the forehead and say "Of course! Why didn't I think of that!?"

I may have to find a way to kidnap your muse. I'm sure you understand if I borrow it for a bit...really...just for one hub or maybe two?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I thought it was a brain stem. It needs tennis shoes.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

I'll go with brain stem too. Hmm , tennis shoes, I just don't know how he could fill them, and besides he only has one stem, he would have to grow another appendage to fill the other, or just use one shoe.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Ahh, lets wrap him around a pogo stick and call it a day.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

That's all we need, shades on a stick, all bouncy and stuff. That could rattle that brain and then we might not get great hubs like this anymore. I think he's better in tennis shoes, you shock absorbtion and all that.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Perhaps we could just plant him in the garden and hope he grows some roots?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

LOL, You would have to take care of him Spryte, I have read how well you do with plants. If I had to take care of him, he would die. :(


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

I guess I could just install a keg next to him and one of those self-watering spikes. :) He'd do pretty well I think...


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

I am pretty sure that is all he would need to survive. That mental image just cracks me up. he better hope the weeds have read this hub and don't take him out.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Bah! I bet Shade would consider himself a weed at heart...but that doesn't mean he'd share his keg.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I hardly think the weeds will mistake that thing for a flower. More like their leader (so we can all follow him, right?).


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Keg or no keg, I don't want to be planted anywhere. Christoph he probably will be heralded as their leader, I guess you can join him if you want, you must really like beer.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

I dunno if I want to be known as some mindless follower...*snark*

Please, Shade...tell me your brain is cooking right now even as we speak.  If I might be so bold, perhaps a piece on why you could be the new hub religion.  *bows to her new deity*

Where would I be without you to follow...*wipes a tear from my eye* 

It just all sounds to me as if Jerrico is incredibly jealous of your talent and wishes he could have friends too. 

There! I said it...I dragged that forum into a hub.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

roflmao. Sorry bout that. I was pissed!


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

You were pissed?  I was livid!  I would have done the same thing for anyone that I consider a friend on here.  I thought Shade was rather gracious in expressing his opinion...even though I couldn't help falling off my chair laughing when he compared Jerrico to a blood sucking insect.  If "J" thought to offend me by accusing me of being a follower...he didn't.  I just know who I have fun with and of course I'm going to see what they're up to and if I can join in on the merriment.  How dull it would be to sit around thinking I knew everything and waiting for the world to come to me. 


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

He's a ding dong. Let's talk about something else. Anybody ever read "The Fall of the House of Usher?" Just curious.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I never get involved in stuff like that and even I had to say something. I would step in to help any friend in a fight, regardless of the outcome.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

I agree Spryte, you, shades, christoph, misty and a few others are fun. That's why I am here. I like to read all the hubs you guys publish and have fun when it comes to comments and the crazy things we do (sorry Christoph). It is fun. I just don't think things need to be taken so seriously. He was acting like a child, a spoiled, rotten child! I take care of children who act more mature than that. Even after Shades helped with his other forum post, and created traffic to it after he had already got pissed and told people they sucked for not responding as soon as he thought they should, then he verbally attacks the person who helped him. I'm just blown away by what an ass he is making of himself!


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

:)

Well of course I have...being a Poe fan.

But I don't wish to discuss novels at the moment. Perhaps spiritual gospel music would be more appropriate. I wonder if Shade's real name is Joshua...


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Where can I find this forum post everyone, as I have missed it somehow???


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Well, he certainly "built a battle" this time.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

*spryte coughs into her fist and it sounds oddly like 'check the forum for something by someone asking their fans to become fans of his new site'...but perhaps it was only a cough*


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Hey, A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

hmmm, did I see wheels turning in shades brain avatar? I think I did. I'm giddy with anticipation.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Well, you people have been busy lol. 

To catch up,

Spryte, I'll gladly share Thalia with you the moment I figure out how to get in contact with her when I want to.  So far, we're doing everything on her time.

A pogo stick would slosh my beer.

A keg would be great, and I'd happily share as long as replacements were lined up.

Yes, I did draw it, and, you'll notice the great care I took to include a beer belly lol.

Um... and I'm done with that forum thread.  It wasn't my intent to lambast him endlessly, I just wanted to point out that it's annoying to be spammed, even covertly.  My point was about respecting the reader, and that doing all that self promotion is insulting, says "I don't care about you at all, but I want to take up your time."  I suppose it's my love of writing in general that got pissed off; it's like so few people think of the reader when they write anymore.  But hey.  (Although, I confess, I haven't looked at it in a while, so I guess I should go see what you trouble makers have stirred up.)

And I am a Poe fan, Christoph, and I have that book, just haven't gotten to it yet.  Why you just finish it or something?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

By the way, Spryte and Gwendy, y'all did very well. I was proud of you. And of course Shades, well, I've come to expect nothing less than brilliance from you and I was not disappointed.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

*passes a fresh cold one to Shade*

Drink that and then re-think Christoph's comment...and then mine...and it'll become clear gwasshoppah.

Christoph is a master of subtle "in your face" comments...and it took me a quick trip to Wikki before I realized it wasn't the story that was really important...just the title.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Yeah, ok, he's got issues, but best to let him be. I like happy stuff. Let's make fun of Christoph's avatar or something :)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Thanks Christoph, I was proud of you too.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Been there, done that.

I, for one, would love to see another 5 page tirade.


Single arab 7 years ago

Are you guys arabs? Are you single? That yellow thingy on the top says "Chat to single arabs HERE", but you don't sound like ones... I am disappointed :(


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

But it's so much fun Christoph. You cute baby beast you.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Okay okay...so it's a leftover from my "spryte...sick 'em" days. I actually enjoy dismembering people that offend me greatly. But if you want happy stuff, *sigh* okay...happy stuff. Let me think...

Puppies, kittens, snowball fights...no...wait, that is too borderline...umm...puppies...


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Single Arab, Spryte is a single arab chick. She's very hawt and willing to break almost all religious laws.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

any of you guys play Texas hold em?


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

I do, but I'm horrific at it.  I drink too much and I'm chatty, so I forget to furrow my brow and be as anti-social as possible while focusing on the cards.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

I wished you lived closer, I am thinking about getting a game together tonight. I am home alone and bored again, it's either that or bingo.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

*waves to single arab*

I got burkhastock sandals too!  If you have oil in your backyard, perhaps we can make a deal.  Just none of that harem stuff...I don't share.

Oh! And thanks Gwendy...you just knocked another story loose from my brain...gotta write that down.

But for now...I am sentenced to go grocery shopping...alone (thankfully) and will return later this evening. Try to stay out of trouble...or at least give me enough to comment on when I get back.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Man, this is getting confusing. Ok...Spryte, yours could hardly be called a tirade; it was thoughtful, well organized, and well deserved. It was the other person whose tirade I was referring to. Also, who keeps calling you "Duuuude!" Do they know something we don't. And thirdly, who is that Single Arab up there? That's a joke, right? Which one of you is doing that?


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Gwendy: I can come over, but only if we play pin the tail on the hawt redneck chick. Or if Spryte comes, we can play pin the tail on the hawt Arab chick.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

hmm, I'm curious if she is gonna write about Texas hold em, bingo or sexy single arabs.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

*grins* I didn't think it was a tirade...just a well-earned tongue lashing.  And of course I know that you were referring to him...you love me and I know that. 

I dunno why I keep getting called dude...it happens in my gaming as well.  But at least in World of Warcraft the chances that the really hot chick toon is a guy is pretty high.  Obviously Mr. J has not really read anything I've written and is taking a stab in the dark on that one.  :)

It wasn't me...but I figure Shade let him post for the sake of amusement.  Damn...I'm such a follower.

(And no...it's sorta about poker...ummm...spryte style)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Christoph, I don't even know what to say to that. I didn't know pervs came in such small packages. You might try getting that diaper rash taken care of first before you go playing pin the tail on the hawt redneck chick (blush) , it could be a real turn off, even for a redneck.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

oooh, the volcano is about to blow!!!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

ROFL @ mental image of that baby chasing Gwendymom around, little chubby legs churning, diaper making that plastic crinkly sound as Christoph's little cherubic hands groped after her. That's funny stuff.

And maybe Spryte's going to write about hawt arabs playing poker?

And, what server, Spryte?


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Norgannon :)

And sorry...Jerrico just tweaked my nose and I couldn't resist. I'm so damn weak.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

well thanks for giving me that mental image.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Okay...seriously now...I'm off to Safeway, home of the Stepford Clerks that follow you around and constantly ask if you've found everything you were looking for...

*shudders*

They scare the snot outa me.


Single arab 7 years ago

Oh, it's getting hawter over here. If not arabs, at least some pretty chicks :D

I don't have oil in a back yard here, sorry - but my family does! We can strike a deal, but Muhhamed (PBUH) said you have to share. I'll be nice with you, don't worry :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

A tongue lashing can be such fun...... sigh!!! (wistful expression on face)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Arab, you'll have to chase her to the Safeway now. 

I'm off too.  You kids play nice now.  Really. 


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Have commented on a certain forum if anyone is interested :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Misty: Saw it. You've already been requested to quit a certain fan club.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

a tongue lashing can be a lot of fun!!!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Just like that baby in "Roger Rabbit".


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

lol, Shades said to behave. That isn't any fun though. Hey Christoph, want to play pat-a-cake?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

haha, he has posted another thread in the forums, what a loser.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Man! That guy just doesn't know when to quit. ok. Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker man...la, la...


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

no, he doesn't. I haven't seen anyone make such an ass out of themselves since....last night. The bartender at applebess had a meltdown.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

He must have removed the comment where he told me to get educated. what an ass! oh yea, pat-a-cake pat-a cake......


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I saw it. Hee-haw.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

I didn't know people could do that.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Hey Christoph, where did he request I leave his fan club? (Although I probably may still do so unless he changes his attitude). I have re-read the posts and he doesn't seem to have answered mine directly unless I missed something :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Hey Christoph, I'll give you a tongue lashing any time, just like most mothers do :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Gwendy: You're right. I didn't think they could do that either. I went and looked and I can't find it. I went back to see if I could take off a post from my forum thread, but it can't and I don't think it can be done. I don't know.

Misty: You're right too. I guess that was Gwendy. It gets hard to follow him. Now, about that tongue lashing....


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Maybe the moderators took the post off if they are watching the comments!!

Christoph, better not chance the tongue lashing until you are a bit older, say in 5 days or so :)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

hmm, maybe, but I don't understand why they would remove that specific one. It makes no sense to me. I think he typed it and then regretted it and somehow removed it. By he telling me to get educated and then conme back and reply to his thread he caused damage to himself in more ways than one. First by name calling and then by presuming he was smarter then me.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Do you have so many minutes to edit a comment on the forums, much as you do on a normal hub?? Could this be what happened, i.e. he changed it quickly before his time limit ran out?


Single arab 7 years ago

You actually have about 4 hours to change or delete your post on forum :P


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

maybe, I don't know too much about the forums, I have not posted there very much. It does make sense though. I wish I would have known that, there are a few things I would have changed, not on that forum but on others.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Yea. It wasn't any worse than lots of other ones. Not to keep kicking a dead dog, but he's always referring to his "fan base" and his "quality hubs" and "giving us the juice," etc. He desperately needs to think he's "somebody". I only ever read one of his hubs and I think he needs to learn how to write first. Had no need to quit his fan club cause I never joined.

I don't think so, but I saw it. He said to go back and read Shades original remark and then come back and answer "educated", or something like that.

Can't wait till this baby thing is over.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Ahh, so you can. Thanks single arab dude.

Good one, Gwendy! Hadn't even noticed that. Aren't you stuck with your comment as soon as someone posts behind you? Did you just get rid of them in time?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

I retracted my last comment because this is not my hub and I don't have the right to say anything about that kind of stuff. So I will let it go, but glad you saw it Christoph.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Also interesting that Single Arab commented on the yellow single arabs ad at the top of the page as though that was what brought you to the page, since you would have to be here to see it in the first place. Who's doing that?


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Re-reading the posts by the 'certain person' on a 'certain forum', I notice his spelling has slipped somewhat compared to normal, and I am now inclined to wonder if maybe 'he' has been drinking, and this is where all this rage and frustration has come from. I could be wrong, but I know my own typing goes to pot when I have more than a couple of drinks, (plus I become more short tempered). Perhaps this is a problem that only rears it's ugly head once he has had a drink or two, or three etc. I kind of hope I am wrong though!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

it seems that you have a certain amount of time to change your comment and it doesn't matter if someone else posts ahead of you.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

4 minutes and I can still change my comments.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Gwendy: Yeah, but you left your name behind. Wait. His posts are still there.

Misty: Ahh, What's up, Doc?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

5 minutes looks like the cutoff point. Yea, I see them, maybe I have lost my mind.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

This is getting tiresome. I'm going to try to find a new thing to write about. Catch you later, Gwendymom!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma

Yea, your right it is getting tiresome and old. I'm heading to bingo, catch ya later.


Single arab 7 years ago

@Christoph

Couldn't arabs just broswe the site and see the SIGN? ;)

@Shades

I run through all Safeways around and did not see her. Can I chat to other chicks here, they look hawt and arab, too?


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

I'm back! Hmmm...where did everyone go? I brought ice cream sammiches...

Okay. I'll save yours and eat mine now. Mmmmm....


Single arab 7 years ago

I am still here :)


Single arab 7 years ago

Nobody wants to chat with single arab :(

Will go drown myself in my family oil pond...


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

I am on a different time zone. made a post and came back to the firestorm!

I was still back at Sprytes " I have a bad case of word envy" (to Shades) and was haoping hat we were going to have some fun.

Oh well I guess that 's what happens when you are not logged on. Peace to all brothers and sisters (tongue firmly in cheek). i have decided not engage in this battle. As i always say ignore and it will go away.

Remember Joshua fought the battles of the lord and the trumpeting caused the walls to come tumbling down LOL


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Yeah, you are on the far side of the planet from me, dude. You didn't miss anything though. Just a flame out. Frankly, I felt sorry for the guy, had no idea he'd pissed off pretty much everyone. Guess we reap what we sow.


DarleneMarie profile image

DarleneMarie 7 years ago from USA

FINALLY someone willing to talk openly about plant prejudice...Let them all be FREE!!

AWESOME Hub ;)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

Thanks, glad you got the joke. :)


naturesencore profile image

naturesencore 7 years ago from Chicagoland

OMG That's awesome! ROFL Now my yard has a purpose. When my neighbors boast of their landscaping talents, I can defend my own yard by stating, "I'm fighting for the rights of Weeddom!


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California Author

LOL, ok Naturesencore, I just imagined Mel Gibson's speech in Bravehart and mentally exchanged Weedom for Freedom and had a hardy-har moment. lol. Thanks for that.


salmon 7 years ago

I laughed at the PPP thing and the picture of the plants with masks. That's hilarious. It seems I'm a little late on posting, but this was very entertaining anyway.

Who the heck is Single arab?


LillyGrillzit profile image

LillyGrillzit 6 years ago from The River Valley, Arkansas

This is so funny, did your Ivy take over your computer and write this hub?


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California Author

Sweet! I was just today thinking about putting a link to this in something, and you heard it's call for attention crying out across the universe and read it. The poor, humble weeds thank you for bringing their suffering to light.


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

Shadesbreath, I am so glad you directed me here. As always, I love your humor. The evil plants! The poor weeds. You might think about reading my controlling metaphor and Winsome hub. It, though, is not funny.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California Author

I will be reading it momentarily. I almost read it yesterday, the title looked good but I had to go. I don't read many hubs during the week. Never have good, comfy sit down time to really enjoy them. Hit and run onsey-twosey usually, if at all, till the weekend. Then I can sit down with a few beers and just enjoy you people. :)


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

When I was young, I used to pretend I was a florist, making corsages out of dandelion weeds. I also had to pick them for us to eat. Ych, they were bitter. Thanks again for journeying to my hub! Happy weekend.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California Author

I keep telling myself I'm going to try dandelion leaves, but, well, I just never get to it. Maybe when I get hungry enough. Bob Ewing has a hub about making stuff with it that is really interesting that I remember reading. I should go find the link, but I'm too lazy. Worth finding if you're looking for something to read though.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

.

...... WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!

..... Signed: Plu Plucks Plan


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California Author

I'm glad you read this, De Greek. This is one of my pet hubs. I laughed so hard when I got that idea, but, alas, it was destined only to resonate with a few. Maybe people here in the U.S. are just too hypersensitive for it.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working