Please Get The Perfect Out Of My Television Shows

MEET TWO STARS OF CBS' BLUE BLOODS

WILL ESTES (BACK TURNED) WHO PLAYS "JAMIE REGAN" AND TOM SELLECK, WHO PLAYS POLICE COMMISSIONER AND JAMIE'S DAD, FRANK REGAN.
WILL ESTES (BACK TURNED) WHO PLAYS "JAMIE REGAN" AND TOM SELLECK, WHO PLAYS POLICE COMMISSIONER AND JAMIE'S DAD, FRANK REGAN.

The Human Factor Needs To Be Seen In These Celebrities

I LOVE BEYONCE. AND HER SINGING, BUT I'D LOVE HER MORE IF SHE WOULD FORGET SOME LYRICS NOW AND THEN, LIKE ELVIS PRESLEY, AND SEE WHAT IT DID FOR HIM.
I LOVE BEYONCE. AND HER SINGING, BUT I'D LOVE HER MORE IF SHE WOULD FORGET SOME LYRICS NOW AND THEN, LIKE ELVIS PRESLEY, AND SEE WHAT IT DID FOR HIM.
DAN PATRICK, SPORTSCASTER EXTRAORDINARE, FORMERLY OF ESPN, COULD FLUB-UP A FEW TIMES ON HIS SHOW ON DIRECTTV.
DAN PATRICK, SPORTSCASTER EXTRAORDINARE, FORMERLY OF ESPN, COULD FLUB-UP A FEW TIMES ON HIS SHOW ON DIRECTTV.
KAT DENNINGS AS "MAX" ON CBS' "TWO BROKE GIRLS," COULD ACTUALLY DROP A PLATE OF FOOD ON SOME POOR DINER'S HEAD.
KAT DENNINGS AS "MAX" ON CBS' "TWO BROKE GIRLS," COULD ACTUALLY DROP A PLATE OF FOOD ON SOME POOR DINER'S HEAD.
PRETTY MISS LINDSAY LOHAN, MOVIE STAR AND FREQUENT VISITOR TO REHAB. JUST ONCE, I'D LOVE TO SEE A STORY ABOUT HER BEING CLEAN AND SOBER.
PRETTY MISS LINDSAY LOHAN, MOVIE STAR AND FREQUENT VISITOR TO REHAB. JUST ONCE, I'D LOVE TO SEE A STORY ABOUT HER BEING CLEAN AND SOBER.
MATTHEW GRAY GRUBLER PLAYS "DR. SPENCER REID," ON CBS "CRIMINAL MINDS," AND SOMETIMES I WISH  HE WOULD BE PUZZLED ABOUT ONE CASE.
MATTHEW GRAY GRUBLER PLAYS "DR. SPENCER REID," ON CBS "CRIMINAL MINDS," AND SOMETIMES I WISH HE WOULD BE PUZZLED ABOUT ONE CASE.
PATRICK WILSON DOES SURGERY WHILE CHATTING WITH HIS DECEASED WIFE. "OOPS, OH THAT NICK WON'T HURT." WISH HE'D SAY THIS IN HIS SHOW.
PATRICK WILSON DOES SURGERY WHILE CHATTING WITH HIS DECEASED WIFE. "OOPS, OH THAT NICK WON'T HURT." WISH HE'D SAY THIS IN HIS SHOW.
PATRICK WILSON OF CBS' "GIFTED MAN" IS TOO PERFECT, TO ME, TO BE HUMAN.
PATRICK WILSON OF CBS' "GIFTED MAN" IS TOO PERFECT, TO ME, TO BE HUMAN.
SCOTT PELLEY CBS EVENING NEWS COULD MAKE A FEW ERRORS AND BE POPULAR.
SCOTT PELLEY CBS EVENING NEWS COULD MAKE A FEW ERRORS AND BE POPULAR.

To be totally-honest with you . . .

we have all been had. Hood-winked. Conned. "Taken for a ride." Had the proverbial "wool pulled over our eyes," and taken advantage of during our numerous years of enjoying our buddy, "television," and it's first cousin, "movies made for theatres."

I'm not kidding . . .

what we have been led to believe was quality television and films, were nothing more than some ultra-powerful men and women in the entertainment industry who got together in a secret locale many years ago and decided among themselves to lure us, the television and film-watching pubic that mistakes, bloopers, and screw-up's were bad for their product. When in fact, they are not. To me, mistakes, bloopers, and screw-up's are far more interesting. Funny. And honest.

So why the "Perfect Illusion"? . . .

simple. We believed the illusion of all the television and movies that we've enjoyed since these two vehicles of entertainment were infants, had to be perfect in order to be successful. I hate to use the following off-color words but, "bunk," and "hog wash"! To the Editors of HubPages, I offer my sincere apologies.

I mean why is it . . .

that a television show or movie has to be just right. "On the money." "All their ducks in a row"? Oh, I suppose that these same secretive entertainment brokers, whose names are well-hidden from public view, joined forces with the powerful Hollywood, New York and Los Angeles society who calls the shots in fashion, books, music and shoes and agreed. Television shows and movies are either perfect or they don't get aired.

Then explain to me why Dick "The Ageless One" Clark and the late Ed McMahon experienced truckloads of success with their NBC show, "Bloopers and Practical Jokes"? The show was hilarious. I mean I was glued to the screen every week that the show came on. I never missed it. Why? Because "I" love mistakes. Flaws. Imperfect people in imperfect situations. Plain and simple. I personally am far from a perfect human being. And so are the so-called celebrities that we have come to love, adore and dream about taking home to eat lunch with us because for over the years, "perfection," has been the standard for excellence in television and movie performances.

I realize that I've ruffled a few feathers . . .

with my honest observations, but I simply cannot go any further--living this secret lie of telling my friends just "how much" I enjoyed the latest performance by Jamie Foxx or Jay Leno because sadly, I didn't. And that has eat at me for years. I was afraid that if I came forth and confessed my love for the off-center. The missed lines. Forgotten lines. And forgotten lines, I would be drummed out of the human race. And I still might be if the powerful people in the "entertainment industry machine" were to read this hub. These people, I tell you, wield more power than President Obama. Even the C.I.A. I truly believe there has always been a strong connection between Hollywood and the C.I.A. over the years to make sure that men like me are kept quiet when the truth needs to be published about television shows and movies.

Now that I'm out in the open . . .

I might as well "go for it," and tell you the unvarnished truth on how "I" would love to get my bag of microwave popcorn (another secret tool of the C.I.A. and Hollywood to see what people like me are doing in our homes) and relax while watching my favorite television shows, but with the "human element" being left in these shows and do away with that ridiculous perfection attitude.

WHAT WOULD MY "HUMAN ELEMENT" DO FOR TELEVISION AND MOVIES?

  1. Relieve the massive pressure that's on the actors and when the pressure to be perfect is done away with, their performances are much more believable and enjoyable.
  2. Make the working conditions on the sets of television shows and movies more relaxed and give them an air of relaxation thus making a better entertainment product.
  3. Do away with screaming directors and writers.
  4. People such as myself would come more apt to spend our hard-earned bucks on movies and stay loyal to shows on CBS (for I do not watch ABC or NBC).
  5. Advertisers would love this new concept and buy billions of dollars in ads for television and even sponsor the films that Hollywood churns out at record pace.

THINGS WE DO NOT SEE TODAY ON TELEVISION SHOWS AND FILMS

  1. Actors saying, "Excuse me folks, I need to visit the 'john.'
  2. Actors actually talking like day-to-day people--walking into the room of a scene and say, "Hey, buddy. Wanna go and grab a few beers and get drunk?"
  3. Dogs or cats being scolded for urinating on the floors.
  4. Actors actually paying bills to television doctors for their medical services.
  5. Actors doing human things such as belching after a huge meal.
  6. Horses answering "nature's call" in westerns and films.
  7. Guns in westerns never running out of shells.
  8. Cars in movies and television shows getting "egged" by teen vandals.

Follow me further down this "New Path of Redesigning Television and Movies" and read

THINGS I WOULD LOVE TO SEE ON TELEVISION AND MOVIES

  1. The lovely Beyonce forget a key lyric when on a television variety show.
  2. Dan Patrick, the sports talk show icon, getting told off on the air of his own show.
  3. Kat Dennings "Max," on CBS' "Two Broke Girls" "really" drop a plate of hot food on some poor diner's lap.
  4. The alluring Lindsay Lohan appear in public CLEAN AND SOBER and get as much press as she did when she was drunk and on drugs.
  5. "Dr. Spencer Reid," Matthew Gray Grubler on CBS' "Criminal Minds," to actually be confused and unable to solve that week's crime dilemma. I would love this.
  6. Patrick Wilson of CBS' "A Gifted Man" make a mistake when performing surgery on a patient.
  7. For CBS' Evening News Scott Pelley to sneeze during a newscast.

You see, ladies and gentlemen, this is all about being human. Being honest with us, the viewers. And being true to our mortal existence.

This is nothing difficult. Deeply-philosophical. Or even metaphysical. Just providing us the honest television and movies that we crave. I would have loved to see Cary Grant, Paul Newman or even Sean "007" Connery, lose a fight to a thug and lose a girl to a rival playboy.

Do you think my idea has merit? Would viewers watch shows with the honest, human element?

Well to prove a point. Remember all the drama surrounding Oprah Winfrey and her overly-dramatized and publicized weight loss problem?

Need I say more?

PS: Sorry, but you do not get a FREE new car just for reading this hub.

More by this Author


Comments 16 comments

Mark Pitts profile image

Mark Pitts 4 years ago from United States

Scott Pelley makes mistakes all the time...but that would be a completly different Hub!


ib radmasters profile image

ib radmasters 4 years ago from Southern California

I don't see anything perfect in TV or the movies.

What I do see is unreality, but maybe you call that perfect.

Sitcoms on the other hand are not perfect, nor are they meant to be perfect or realistic. They are meant to be funny. It is a hard mark to reach based on the very limited number of them that are truly funny.

Cop shows, doctor shows, lawyer shows, and similar types of these shows are neither perfect, nor realistic.

I try to focus on sitcoms, and funny dramas like burn notice.

Thanks


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Mark . . .I wouldn't know about Scott since I stopped watching CBS' "Fluffy Bunny News," and watch TBS with King of Queens and back-to-back episodes of Seinfeld. Talk about imperfect. Love these shows.

Thanks for the uplifting comment.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, ib radmasters . . .You have a great point here. What I tried to express was let the characters be like US in daily life . . .stumble on the torn carpet, mis-pronounce someone's name. And so forth. Maybe I need to approach Spike or TruTV about my concept, huh? Thanks for the feedback. Its much appreciated.

Kenneth


ib radmasters profile image

ib radmasters 4 years ago from Southern California

Kenneth

I agree with your goal.

Unfortunately, real life can suck.

My wife keeps telling me that it is only a story.

I tell her but they should have the facts as well.

I guess that I will have to stick with humor.

Thanks


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

I think it is hard to see perfection and imperfection exist in pop culture but I agree that some people put up the perfect facade a little too well. My favorite shows have flawed characters who have something to prove like The Closer and Psych. Great hub! It gives alot to think about.


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

Lol...Interesting bone you're picking here! With all the perfection you see - I can't help wondering why the programs themselves are such shit? Interesting read! Thanks


RGNestle profile image

RGNestle 4 years ago from Seattle

I agree. TV thinks it has to insert foolish graphic sex and violence and foul language to be more realistic, but they can't seem to get the human factor right. CSI: Miami is such a good example of this. The stories are interesting, but the Horatio Caine character seems to be semi-omniscient. Every time his team brings him evidence he already knows who left it, what it is and what it means to the case.

Even the cops in Dragnet were more realistic.

Of course, some shows are imperfect in other ways (visible cameras and equipment, plot holes, and such). The many Star Trek series are a good example. I even wrote a book about the mistakes in the TV show "Monk". It has so many funny and interesting mistakes.

It's just too bad that the more serious of the TV and movies out there want the characters to be so unrealistic. But it's also so sad that so many movies and TV show still use flimsy premises to get their characters started on their adventures.

Loved the Hub!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

I think that's why Seinfeld was so popular because it was about everyday life and we could all relate to it. Interesting hub, Kenneth!


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Kenneth,

Great hub my friend. The Carol Burnett Show came to my mind while I was reading this. I just loved when Harvey Korman would crack up in a skit with Tim Conway. The dentist sketch was a classic.

Voted up up and away!

I hope you are enjoying the weekend.

Take Care :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

ib, you are right. So is your wife. Real life can suck. And so can shows that insult our intelligence. My example of a real life show: Criminal Minds scene at a murder scene.

HOTCH: Reid, you and Morgan, uhh, hey, check out the neighbors to see if they have some, uhh, information.

You see, Hotch forgot his lines and still pulled it off with none of that "CUT" from the director. I liked MY version better.

But my lance is dull from tilting so many windmills. What is the use anymore?

Thanks for your input.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Alecia . . .so true. Closer and Psyche are two of my must-see shows as well. Loved it. And on the last runs of M*A*S*H I did see an overhead microhphone start being lowered in one scene with Klinger that wasnt cut from the show...I loved it.

The mistakes sometimes make the show.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, ImKarn . . .you have a solid point there. I wonder that also. Guess what it really boils down to is MONEY made from the advertisers...Two and a Half Men is a prime example.

Thanks, KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, RG,

I agree with you also. CSI: Miami is a great show. With human flaws and imperfections sometimes in the cops too. Remember Rick, the IA guy who was always after Haratio? He was running a pay-off scam during the time he was after Haratio. He is no longer on the show. What would be a great show is have Rick come back from prison and rehab and be given a job working for Haratio. Some plot, huh?

Come back soon.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

you are right. Seinfield is the great example of life itself. And one event links to another. What brilliant writing. And Kramer always the buffoon. Id love to have seen George finally get THE GIRL of his dreams and keep her and have a great job...not the puny one with the Yankees, but a high-paying job. But the show did good without me, so why should I moan?

Thanks, cat!

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Susan . . .girl, you nailed it! Why didnt I think of Carol Burnett? And the dentist sketch, even today, is still the funniest sketch of record. Tim and Harvey could never be in a sketch without Harvey cracking up...it was brilliant of the producer to leave the crack-ups IN the show.

Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

Kenneth

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