Pretty Little Liars -- Happy Birthday To Me!

Emily reaches new levels of unlikeability as she becomes one of those controlling girlfriends that are labelled emotionally abusive if she were a man. And Aria holds the runner-up, this week, as most annoying liar. However, no liar has the chance to surpass the super annoying Emily this season.

Spencer and Aria are researching how to remove the chip from them. Okay, if you were a normal person and not one of the liars wouldn't you like go to the police and tell them your kidnapped put a chip in your head? And couldn't they [I'm not sure if you can do something like this] maybe trace the transmitter back to his source and finally nab this psycho? Or couldn't they at least go to computer whiz Caleb to do it? But, I'm forgetting, Princess Emily has declared none of those are options are available since they all must protect her new squeeze Sarah who with the exception of Spencer, I don't believe any of the other liars have even had any kind of conversation with. Yeah, this is probably the lamest reason not to tell the truth they've had yet.

Ken takes Ali out of town. He's afraid Charles is going to come after both of them. Jason, he leaves to fend for himself, as usual. I don't know if it's ever been made clear, but does Ken know that Jason is really Peter Hastings son? Which means Charles is also Peter's son. And does Charles know who is really his daddy? In short, shouldn't he be focusing on Peter instead of Ken? And if I were Ken and I knew I'd make sure Charles knew I wasn't his daddy, so blame your real daddy for what happened to you and leave me out of it. Since Chuckles is supposed to be all-knowing, dude should know this.

Ashley tells Hanna she found the money Hanna needs to go to college. My first thought was, "Okay, Ashley, who did you steal it from, this time?"

Sara's friend, Claire, asks Emily about Sara and per usual, Emily acts bitchy and snarky. Claire says she wants to see Sara. Emily doesn't seem to happy about that, either.

Toby's back! Boo! She doesn't tell the truth, and he demands the truth. Says they don't do secrets. Yeah, right.

Leslie doesn't show up at the planned meeting that Mona claimed she agreed to. Did she ever really agree to show up? Again, we only have Mona's word on it and Mona is not reliable or trustworthy.

Emily offers to come with Sara to meet Claire so she can run interference for her. Not to mention keep an iron grip of control on her hostage. Sara went from being controlled and imprisoned by Charles to having the same done by Princess Emily.

Sara asks Emily if she dreamed about them kissing and she said it really happened and it will, again. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Lorenzo comes looking for Ali. Jason says she's out of town with their father. After he leaves, Jason finds a red balloon and a blue toy frog with an invitation to his birthday party on his front porch. Seems his twin is finally reaching out and touching him. Is that good or bad?

Aria seems obsessed with dolls. First at Mona's and then her own doll collection. Not really sure why. Probably has something to do with A. Maybe she thinks a camera is planted in the eyes or something. Maybe the reason has been evident, but lately I haven't been paying that close attention to the show as I once did.

Mike asks Aria if she's the reason Mona won't see him. She says no.

Hanna discovers the place she got a scholarship isn't listing one. The people who paid for it are the same who paid to shut down Radley. She starts to worry about there being a DiLaurentis connection, in particular Charlie DiLaurentis. After the freak tortured her, why would he pay for her college? Maybe as a way to further control her?

Emily is an intrusive third wheel who puts a stop to Sara and Claire bonding. She acts like a jealous obsessive control freak because they're getting on good. Seriously, if a guy behaved the way Emily did he'd be labelled abusive. And just how long has Emily known her and they're not even in a real committed relationship.

Spencer wonders if Charles was the one who funded Hanna's scholarship. The girl Spencer asked for some magic brownies leaves a little care package for Spencer and Hanna doesn't notice. She's too busy staring pensively at her computer screen.

Ali calls Spencer. She tells Spencer that Charles is coming home for his birthday and she's worried Jason could get hurt. Ken asks if Ali can't give him one day to figure out what to do when he just found out his psycho son is still alive.

Sara tells Emily she's going to go stay with Claire. Emily tries to poison Sara's mind against Claire by saying she said unkind things about Sara. And how many unkind things have you said about Ali, Spencer and Hanna and they forgave you? Thankfully, Sara doesn't listen to Emily's trash talk and moves out and you'll be better for it.

Aria, Spencer and Hanna go to see Jason, but he's gone. Spencer sees a red balloon.

Mike is waiting for Mona in her room. She says she doesn't want to see him. He eventually wears her down and gets her to relent. Can I say how not interested in these two I am?

Spencer wants to remove the chips so they can track down Charles, but Aria and Emily are against it. Aria and Emily are getting on my nerves. Sorry, if I knew something was planted inside me to track me like a dog, I'd want it out.

Spencer calls Toby over to tell him everything. Of course, @ss wipe doesn't want to keep it a secret from Tanner. Yeah, and Tanner was so open to the truth last time Caleb came to her. She tells him that Charles is A. He also eyes her special candy and take it. Why does it take it and gobble the whole thing down? Did he think Spencer got it for him? If so, shouldn't he wait until she gives it to him? Anyway, Toby insists on handling the whole thing.

Mike gets Mona to kiss him.

Of course, @ss wipe starts lecturing Spencer for not telling him. Toby insists they can't go and he'll go himself. Yeah, I trust him like I'd trust an alligator. Of course, super cop finds the magic brownies, as well.

Toby eats Spencer's “candy” and drags his partner Lorenzo into things without telling him anything. I thought he was going to handle this on his own?. The liars should have never let idiot handle this. Especially, since idiot is now going to be high as a kite, unless he faked eating the candy.

All the liars decide to go anyway, when Spencer freaks out because her boy hasn't called her. Honey, you seem to forget your boy makes a habit of this. Like when he let you think he was dead and you went cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs and when he got mad because you wouldn't keep lying to your friends for him.

Jason arrives at Charles' birthday party and is followed by someone in a hoodie. While Ali plots her escape from her over-protective daddy Ken by drugging his coffee.

Mona comes and gets Ali. Talk about strange bed fellows. Again, why do they trust her? I guess for the same reason they're lying to all their loved ones all to protect a total stranger. Because Sara and Mona were prisoners in the Doll House.

Someone calls Jason, but he ignores it. It's Ali. He calls for Charles.

Ali does something smart. She calls the cops and tells them Charles is her brother and is A. She didn't get indoctrinated in Emily's mantra we must lie for Sara.

Jason is about to meet Charlie when Toby storms in and he goes on the attack. No doubt thinking Jason tricked him. He turns on a bunch of video arcade games which sends Toby on a bad trip and Charles escape. Jason wants nothing to do with Spencer because she ruined his reunion with his twin.

Ashley is furious that Hanna tried to find Charles. Hanna tells Ashley she doesn't think she should take the scholarship. She has a bad feeling about the money. But Ashley already deposited the check.

Aria's in her room crying. Mike tells her he talked to Mona and they're going to try to work things out. Mike says a letter came for her while she was out.

Spencer goes to see how Toby is. Toby tells her to leave.

Aria also gets a letter saying she's a winner of a scholarship from the same place Hanna got hers from. That's two on the hook. Guess Spencer and Emily are next. No doubt Charles way of keeping them together when they go to college, so he can continue to watch and torture them.

Ali catches Jason about to start drinking. They hear a young boy calling to Jason to come play with him. It's an old home movie of them with Charles and the note, I wAnted to trust you. Yep, he thinks Jason sold him out.

Meanwhile Chuckles is looking at a framed photo of the three of them together. Well, I'm glad Jason's been added to the mix as the whole sick ickiness of wanting to be Ali's boyfriend was really creepy gross.