Project AccessoryS1-1: Accessorize This?! Review

If you haven’t seen the episode, don’t read any further since this is a review of the Project Accessory’s first episode, including who won and who was booted. Spoilers Below!

The premise is simple. Project Accessory is to accessories what Project Runway (PR) is to clothing. The show is hosted by supermodel Molly Sims and the two permanent judges are Kenneth Cole, designer extraordinaire and Ariel Foxman who is an editor of InStyle magazine. The role of Tim Gunn, er mentor, is being played by Eva Jeanbart-Lorenzotti, who apparently doesn’t have a catchphrase yet, but I’m sure she’s working on one. I love the idea of this show, but I may hurt someone if I have to keep hearing the word ‘bling’ all the time. Anywho...

The premiere episode starts off with a gift of jeans and a t-shirt from someone named M. Most the designers think Madonna and I think Fritz Lang, of course we’re all wrong so our reward is a trip to Jersey. The designers are brought in front of a storage facility where they finally get to meet Molly and Eva. The designers are told that inside, they will find two storage bins filled with the materials to make three accessories to go with their jeans and t-shirt. And what do you find in a New Jersey storage bin? Junk. The accessories must be a necklace, belt and another piece of the designer’s choice.

What I find amusing is that there is always some gal who must wear high heels and a short skirt to these things. Don’t they know producers like to see them run and sweat? They’d also prefer to see them fall, but that was not meant to be this time around. Ah, the stereotype. You gotta love them.

The designers are taken to their workroom in Studio NYC where they are shown the Swarovski Wall of sparkly stuff and the Ebay Wall of sponsored stuff. Seems like they have all the makings of a good time: Brother sewing machines, leather machines, metal working machines.

As an avid PR watcher, I found the most interesting part was watching the toughened, more hardcore look to the designers. It was like casting searched for people who could physically kick the asses of last season’s PR designers and called it a day. Not that this group isn’t considerably more talented, they appear to be, but talk about rough edges. I do like the array of materials and the fact that there are blowtorches. It always seemed like PR was missing something.

But what is Project Accessory missing? Well, besides a host with charisma to spare, helpful feedback from the mentor and synergy between the judges? Oh, I know! Interesting catchphrases like "Make it work", "See you on the Runway", "You're Aut". Hopefully, the show will find its footing and the witticisms will become as plentiful as the bulky necklaces.

We found out some interesting things about the designers. Nicolina, our resident rocker chick, will be our drama queen who can’t stop crying. James will be our social butterfly. Nina will be our constant, “I just started doing this recently” or as I’ll call her Anya. (Those of you who watched PR know exactly what I'm snarking about.) As for everyone else, we’ll just have to wait for their edit. I’m sure it will be riveting.

In the end, they followed the PR format pretty closely. Guest judge was Debra Messing who was there to stump for her new tv show, Smash. It was clear she wasn't there to critique anything or actyually wear any accessories on a show about accessories. But, I digress.

There were three on top and three on the bottom. It sounds kind of kinky, but you know where I'm going with this.

Nina, Brian and Diego were on top. Brian made some apocalyptic mess makes me question 2 out of the three judges taste levels. Ugh, I’m already here. 

Nina won and though I favored Diego’s simply elegant pieces, I can see why she won. She was more innovative with the materials she used: matchsticks and a rat trap.

Cotrice, Nicolina and James were in the bottom. Nicolina made some simple black leather stuff anyone could find at Hot Topic.

James made a Hawaiian lei belt, an OK necklace and I’m told there were earrings, but I’ll just have to guess since it was so difficult to see them.

Lastly, Cotrice was sent packing for a simple chandelier necklace and bracelet and bedazzled belt. Her poor model looked like Nene from The Real Housewives Atlanta. So sad.

So will I watch this show again? You better believe I will. There were some pretty pieces (like the pretty belt to the right made by Kelly) and as a whole it has a lot of potential. I remember the first seasons of Project Runway and remember how rough around the edges it was. Time will tell and I'm planning on sticking this one out unil it figures out how to make it work.