Rantings ramblings and general bitchyness

I'm having a bad day. I have decided to give anyone who cares to take the time to read this the details of this bad day, so get prepared. For those of you who do not know, I run a small daycare out of my home. Yep, somebody trusted me with the care of their children. I can't explain what they were thinking when they decided I should be the one that their children should be spending their time with. I knew what I was thinking though and it went something like this. I was tired. I was tired of working all day at my current job and then coming home to a dirty house with my kids and husband wanting to know what's for dinner. I felt like I was not accomplishing anything. The house was already a wreck, I wasn't making enough money. I was missing out on my kids sports meets. I was just tired of the old 9-5. I have had experience in childcare. I used to work at a daycare center when I was pregnant with my oldest child, I had volunteered at a head start program to help with children with autism, and I had raised three of my own children and they have turned out pretty good. I am not saying that I was a super mom, I was and am an average mom. I figured that they were all still alive so I guess i've done ok.

I know now that hindsight is 20/20. I wish there are some circumstance that I can blame on my behaviour here, but there is not. I made my decision with careful consideration. I listed my pros and cons and made what I thought was a well informed decision. Ha, was I wrong.

I went into this thinking that I had my plan in place. I would set a schedule, I would have lots of fun activities. I would be super daycare provider donning a pink cape with a big SDP on the front of my spandex unitard. I would have a well balanced meal in one hand and child smiling with delight in the other. I have since learned a few things, like kids are cute for a reason. It's a defense mechanism. Anything red will end up on your carpet and will stay there forever. Kids are picky eaters. It's hard to force a 3 year old to eat anything nutritious. Force feeding a child will result in said child biting you. Toddlers have sharp teeth and so and and etc.

This now brings me to the point of this hub. I did warn you guys with my title that there is some rambling in here. Sorry if you got this far and decided that there is no point to this. I would ask you to stay, read a bit more, I will have a point eventually, but in all honesty I don't know that I will have a point. And there I go getting farther from the point, but lets circle our wagons around for a minute and get back to my bad day.

Ha ha, you thought I was going to get to my day didn't you? Sorry once more. I really do have to let you in on some more information before I go any farther so hang in here with me for just a bit more.

I have two chihuahuas. those tiny little yapping dogs that look similar to rats. I adopted my first chihuahua about two years ago. I fell in love with my little girl I call Bella. She is my constant companion and a very loyal friend. She knows all my secrets and has never told a soul any of them. Now we need to journey into my crazy way of thinking. I had started to feel bad for Bella, she seemed so alone, her little world revolved around me. She was at my side constantly and she would tremble and whine whenever she was not around me. I decided that she needed a companion, a boyfriend. So I set about looking for a male chihuahua. I found him. He is younger than Bella by about a year and a few months. He is cute, but kind of timid. Bella is an in your face I'm the boss kind of girl. Churro,as my son named him (don't ask, I have no idea why he came up with this name) is a timid and shy little guy. I picked him because she liked him.

Now just at the point where you think I have lost my mind and will never get back to the story I have made a full circle.

The day started out like this. I woke up late. I have been waking up late more and more lately. To tell you the truth I just can't get to bed before 1AM. I am on sleeping medication and have been for over a year now. I blame the whole time change thing. It messes with me every year. Just about the time when my body adjust to fall back then here comes the spring forward thing.

So on with the story. I woke up late, but I didn't just wake up late and rush to get ready and get my pot of coffee, nope, I woke up to a child running around my house. The parents actually dumped them off and ran. Not that I blame them mind you. If I could drop my kids off with someone I would drop them and run to, but I can't. They are teenagers now and have drivers licenses and know their way home.

So that is the start to my morning. I got up and made my pot of coffee. I had to think fast and get my priorities lined out. If I didn't have my coffee things could turn ugly and this poor child would be witness to it all. So I drank my coffee and tried to turn on the news. Of course the child whined and cried for kids programming, so I switched the television. i would have to do without my morning news. I headed back to my bedroom, trying to get to my bathroom, and saw a trail of finely shredded tissue all over my bedroom floor. I followed the trail to the bathroom and to two chihuahuas with guilty looks on their faces and toilet paper hanging out of their mouths. I then yelled at the chihuahua and they looked at me with those puppy eyes and that sideways glance dogs do. Another thing learned. Chihuahuas have defense mechanisms too. The chihuahuas ran away playing like the whole incident never happened.

After I cleaned up the toilet paper mess I returned to the living room where I considered wrestling the remote away from the child that was in my care but then decided I didn't need my daily dose of news so bad that I was willing to have a child abuse charge filed against me. So I sat down at my computer. I was preparing to type in the web address to the site I wanted to visit when I noticed a foreign object on my computer screen. I looked at it once. I thought that can't be, can it? I looked again, yep, that's what it was, a nice slimy booger. That little booger pickin toddler had boogied up my computer screen. Of course she looked at me with those sad puppy eyes that toddlers learn how to use from watching the chihuahuas. I walked to the kitchen to get some cleaner.

While in the kitchen the booger pickin toddler asked for some cereal in a cup. This is the thing she asks for everyday as she eats her breakfast at home but always wants chocolate cereal in a cup to snack on. I got her a cup of cereal and decided to have my breakfast of a yogurt and a banana. This is my usual breakfast. I open the refrigerator door and am immediately pissed off. Last night I made a cookie bouquet for my nurse practitioner. My husband had forgotten to fill his prescription for his blood pressure medication on Friday and Saturday morning when he is supposed to take his medication finally remembered. Now you have to remember that I ive in the boondocks. I called the pharmacy to see if by chance they were open. No such luck. I called a friend of mine that worked at the clinic and she then told me to try the pharmacist at home and he might be willing to go to the pharmacy to let me get his prescription. Of course the pharmacist was not at home. I called back to my friend who told me to call our nurse practitioner who answered her phone and called my husbands prescription in to the closest pharmacy that was open on weekends. So I got to make a nice little drive to Kansas. Now back to the original point of this. I opened the frig door and there was my cookie bouquet being smashed by a gallon of milk. I had spent hours baking and decorating this bouquet for my NP. The icing on the cookies were ruined. Another lesson learned. Kids like eating cookies on a stick and it doesn't matter what the icing looks like.

After I ate my yogurt and calmed down a little bit. I finally got to read a few news headlines, and then I realized that today was payday for me. But wait, the guy who writes my paycheck had dumped his child at my door earlier that morning while I was sleeping. Ok, I can tolerate many things, dumping yours kids off while I'm sleeping, boogers on my computer screen, ruined cookies, but I was not going to tolerate this. Nope I was gonna get paid. I called the runaway parent and of course only got voice mail. I decided to leave a strongly worded message and it went something like this. Please, please bring me my money. I would have threatened to hold his children hostage but I don't think it would have done any good.

Now it was getting time to pick up two more children from school. They both attend school for half a day. I walked outside to start my vehicle and of course the chihuahuas followed, almost knocking me over on my way outside. I started my vehicle and let the chihuahuas play and use the potty while I waited for them to get their business done. I then went to the door and opened it for the chihuahuas to go back into the house. Bella went into the house just fine but Churro had other ideas. I chased that chihuahua around my house at least five times which in turn made me late for picking up the children who were in my care. I arrived at the school with wind blown hair, a wild look on my face, and what I later learned a booger on the butt of my pants.

I then went to the local grocery store to buy the things I would need to make more cookies for the bouquet. Before entering the store I explained the rules of grocery shopping to the kids. No touching, grabbing, asking for things, and running. I later learned that I should have explained the no spinning rule too. While shopping for groceries I was looking for a nutritious snack to feed the kids after their afternoon nap. During the time that it took me to look for the snack one of the children started spinning themselves in a circle. This then made child dizzy who then fell into a shelf of canned green beans. The shelf and the contents of the shelf then went tumbling to the floor. After I had cleaned up the mess and paid for my groceries I loaded the kids into the vehicle and headed for home.

I returned home and proceeded to make lunch for the kids. During my cooking session one of the children came running into the kitchen. The child said that Churro was choking and for me to please come and save him. I ran into the living room and didn't see the little chihuahua, but I heard a very loud retching sound coming from behind my couch. I looked behind my couch and sure enough there was the little dog making the awful noise. Churro was not choking, nope, he was throwing up all the toilet paper he had eaten this morning. There is nothing worse than the smell of bile, dog food and wet toilet paper right before lunch. I then cleaned up the mess, washed my hands and went back to preparing lunch. I made spaghetti and meatballs for the kids, it's a meal that I normally fix for them. I should have known better though, this was not a normal day. Close to the end of their lunch one child flipped their plate onto the table and had a big red saucy mess on the table. I cleaned this mess up and before I could make it back to the kitchen with the cleaning supplies another child had flipped their plate but this time it didn't land on the table. It landed spaghetti side down on the floor.

I cleaned this mess up also. I put the kids down for their nap and walked over to my computer and began to write. I guess I never really got to a point for this hub. It feels better to just get it out.

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Comments 52 comments

goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

Sorry about your day GM but I could barely make it to the finish because I was laughing my ass off! Yes, I feel your pain!

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

GT, I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Glad you share in my pain too. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

You poor thing! You're much braver than I could ever be in taking care of toddlers. My happiest day on earth was the day my two kids stopped wiping their noses on me and could wipe their own asses. No more! I'll have no more of it ever! Boogers, spinning, tearing things apart, seeing if their sandwich will fit in a dvd player...I miss none of it! lol!

I give you major props, and I hope your sleep returns to normal and that a really good day comes pronto. :) This was a fun read Gwendy! Oh, and I'd like to have one of those cookie arrangements please. You don't have to ice them either, but it would be nice. ;)

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Hmm Pam I don't know if I would call it bravery. I think it's called stupidity. I'm telling you I think these kids know that I am teetering on the edge of insanity and they want to see how far they can push me before I just lose my mind. You would think it would be at the booger on my computer, but apparently I can tolerate a little more than I thought I could.

Pam, i'm surpeised you would still want a cookie arrangement aftert he boogery kids and barfing dog incidents I figure my career in baking is over before it even begins.

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites 7 years ago from USA

Every sexually active teenager needs to read this hub.  Keep it away, however, from the pregnant ladies. 

Now, me, a former foster mother of 250 kids, not all at the same time, thank god, I can relate. 

I fantasized many days and nights over perfect parenting.  Now, much grayer and wiser, I realize the perfect parent is one who made it thru a day like this with no formal felony charges and a somewhat shaky smile on their face - I can hear it, it's there.  =))  oh yes, one more rule, never ever feed a toddler or 6 year old, spaghetti. I've banned it from my table even from my grown kids.

you are WONDERFUL.

A big hug to you, and wishes for a hot bath, a good book, no kids for a night, and long sleep.  =))))

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

LOL Marisue. If only someone had let me know it would be like this. I know my kids did things like these and probably worse but our bodies seem to have this thing that helps you forget traumatic moments.I think I'll do a few shots this evening. LOL. I'm not really a drinker but a day like this makes me want to become one.

It's funny that you dropped in as I was just wondering if you made it back to Oklahoma yet?

pgrundy 7 years ago

OMG it all came back, my childrearing days. You poor thing. This too shall pass...but not soon enough! lol!

Seriously, hats off to you. You are doing a hard job. You deserve a big raise. (Or just to get paid, that would be a good start.):)

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Pgrundy, that would be a good start. I go throught this every week, tracking down parents for payment. I really should learn to get some colateral before taking these kids on. Thanks, thats sweet.

I really do like kids, I'm just getting older or bitchyer or something. Maybe I need stronger sleeping pills or I should look into that shoyts for tots program that CA hupperpants was talking about on their hub. The day would definetly be easier and more entertaining.

Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom 7 years ago from West Coast

GM - Wow what a day. I thought it would never end. I laughed and cried, simply because I feel your pain.

enlydia listener 7 years ago

My husband and I raised 8 kids (the youngest is 15) and I did childcare also...recently we were faced with the possibility of taking in a 10 year old whose adoptive parents didn't want her anymore...we were torn, we wanted to help her....but the thought of spending 8 more years in child raising was too overwhelming...I just couldn't commit to another 8 years....taking care of children is not as easy as it seems....I was always looking over my shoulder for human services, in case one of the kids had to go the hospital again for some normal childhood injury. and trying to continually think of fun things to do...forgettabout it.

cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

ROFL hope you finally got paid in the end!

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

TM, I didn't think it would ever end either. I do have to say that I got my money though, that helped.

Enlydia, I know what you mean. It's hard to make the decision to devote that much time and energy, but I would probably do it, actually I know I would do it. I guess i'm just a glutton for punishment.

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Cindy, I did finally get paid. It only took a big guy named bubba and a sledgehammer.

Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

This was very funny Gwen. Great one-liners that built upon each other and had me rolling in my own boogers!

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks CR. It's all true unfortunatly.

spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

*snort, giggle, guffaw, swiping tears from my eyes*


Damn woman but you make me laugh! :)

R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Tip for you...and by the sound of things it would surely work....tell them if they don't pay you....you are going to return their kids. Forget about holding the little crumb crunchers hostage.....who's that gonna punish???

Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA

I hope you feel better Gwendymom. I used to do the daycare thing also so I can identify with your bad day. Your story had me laughing hysterically, sorry! I didn't laugh when it was happening to me but you made me laugh looking back on the whole scene of little boogie noses, LOL!

In all seriousness though you have the POWER in your hands to significantly change the course of a childs life from a little brat to an age appropriate cute little darling! Did I say that? LOL Well anyways you get the point, right? I wish you a phenomonally fun day tomorrow with ice cream and cherry on top!

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 7 years ago from Central Texas

You made me tired just reading this hub!

I have a better plan. Tell them you're sending their children home with musical instruments (flutes, drums, tambourines!) unless they pay up! That'll get 'em!

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 7 years ago from Central Texas

Reminds me of this Lonestar music video.....


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Spryte, that a huge compliment. To make some one as funny as you laugh, weel it just doesn't get any better than that.

R. Blue, thats a good idea, but I think tthey might outrun me, heck they just throw em out the car door on the way by my house.

Dottie. Mmmm, Ice cream! It's ok now. I drowned my sorrows in a diet coke and screwed up sugar cookies.

KCC, Thats funny! That probably will work.

SirDent 7 years ago

At least you didn't have a stalker.

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

haha Kcc, that looked alot like my day!

Hey sirdent, are you stalkingme?

SirDent 7 years ago

I would never stalk you or anyone else. (A)

Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

gwendymom, don't you feel better after having got that off your chest? Hang in there... :)

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Dang it Sirdent. I was hoping I finally got me a stalker!

Feline, yes I do. I hope next week goes better!

SirDent 7 years ago

*quietly sits staring at Gwen through her window*

paulkoson profile image

paulkoson 7 years ago

Rantings ramblings and general bitchyness

I like your hub. I think it very good.

Ashley Joy profile image

Ashley Joy 7 years ago

Wow what a day!! My mom used to babysit in our home when I was little so when I got older and had my own kids I knew this was not the way to go to make money from home.

G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

I also am with you...did childcare for like 40 yrs.  and could totally understand you...Bad day? hell they were all like that...

The last 15 yrs. tho I wised up...I only took babies one-two at a time from 4 months old and usually till they were in first grade...they became my grandchildren and since I had them most of the time they were good for me...

Now I have such an extended family and is wondrful...I have many stories I could tell...but am not so good at it, like you are...Thanks for the grins :O)  :O)  G-Ma Hugs

marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites 7 years ago from USA

Oklahoma bound...but not there yet....we'll have to get together and celebrate when I get there LOL

looking to arrive end of may or june...waiting on $$ and middle son's personal issues to be settled, he's the only son going with us.

can't WAIT.

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Marisue, I will be waiting with a bottle of plum wine!

Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

This explains alot, Gwendy. I knew you and I got along so well for a reason. :-)

\Brenda Scully 7 years ago

Enjoyed all the confusion that goes with toddlers, just glad it was in your house and not mine...

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Brenda, there does seem to be tons of confusion when you got toddlers around. Those kids are like the energizer bunny, they just keep going and going.

ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

still laughing at your day - with you not at you, you understand - TG that is all in the past until of course we are lucky enought to get grandchildren - btw upended spaghetti really is the worst isn't it GM., doesn't come out of beige carpets easily and then on top of that to wonder about payment from the parents of the boogie throwing ankle biter is too bad - very very funny hub - thanks and cheers

advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing

Well, I can totally relate!

Cute story! I know it was frustrating, but sometimes it looks so funny looking back!

Linda Trempe profile image

Linda Trempe 7 years ago from Colorado Springs, CO

Great post! I empathize with you. I have my grown daughter and her 3 kids, ages 3-9 all living in my home. Additionally I've 5 cats, a grown son and a husband with a miserable disposition, lol. Your day sound just like everyday at my house. Bless your heart!

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Hi Gwendy, not sure how to contact you as I don't seem to be getting the option to post fan mail, or contact you via Hubpages. Missing you (and many other missing fellow Hubbers), where are you and are you coming back on hubpages soon? Hope to hear from you. :)

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

PS. Just went back and read this hub of yours and it had me laughing all the way through. It was definitely a good idea to air your frustrations here just for the grins and giggles it will have given all your readers.

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Where are you Gwendy, have the aliens finally abducted you for good???? :(

gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

hey Cindy, I am still alive and kicking. I have been kidnapped by children and a wild band of chihuahua puppies. Don't let their cute little innocent looks decieve you, they are very mean little rascals. Their only demands seems to be an unlimited amount of beggin strips and squeaky toys. The kids haven't made any demands, I think they are still trying to come up with a plan.

Honestly I have just been home a lot!!! My daughter got married and I had my mother here for a three week visit, so haven't had much computer time. I had been pretty bored before that, I was getting so angry and depressed about watching the news everyday so I quit watching it, now it's seems like I don't have anything to talk about. I have become pretty boring. I have kids all day so I don't ever go anywhere, it's a pretty sad existance really.

I don't know where everyone else went to, I haven't really got to talk with anyone. I did talk to CR not too long ago and I think he has been working on a film project. That's all I know.

I have missed being here, miss al my friends, but like I said I don't have anything to talk about, it's so boring here. I will try to get back here as soon as I have something interesting to say, not sure when that will be though.

So how have you been? Everything going good for you? I think I have you added as a friend on facebook, maybe we can chat there sometime. Thanks for wondering about me. I promise I will be back, soon hopefully!

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Pleased to know you are okay, I was accusing Shadesbreath of having eloped with you yesterday LOL. Hope you get on here more soon, as I rarely go on Facebook in spite of being a member, so much to do, not enough hours in the day, you know how it goes! Your chihuahua puppies sound so very cute though, I just adore dogs of all shapes and sizes, in fact I am out tonight simply to meet a mate of ours in the pub because he is bringing his dog with him for a change :)

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Hi Gwendy, if you have a couple of mins free do you fancy popping over to Spryte's hub


as she is getting a bit of a hard time from some TROLL, and I reckon she could do with the old gang to help back her up, (it will be just like old times).

Thanks :)

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Troll is back Gwendy (07 Nov at 04.55 am) on Spryte's hub if you are up to defend her. Cheers.

mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Hi Gwendy,

Might be wrong, but I suspect the Troll is back on Spryte's hub, but now calling him/herself Debs. Fancy checking in???



sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 6 years ago

That's why I've always felt a job is an escape for mothers! And that's not a criticism of working mothers, it's just the truth.

samboiam profile image

samboiam 6 years ago from Texas

Thanks for sharing this with us. I enjoyed it.

Michael Shane profile image

Michael Shane 6 years ago from Gadsden, Alabama

We need to get you on the comedy tour! Funny stuff! Thanks!

Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Great hub. I enjoyed it lots.

movingfinger 6 years ago

For a self confessed non writer, this is a pretty good hub. Sometimes its just great to read something with no specific aim...this hub fits the bill..:)

As a stay at home mom's job is concerned, its tough...I dont think people realise how demanding it is...well.this hub shall remind them...keep it coming..:)

sallybea profile image

sallybea 23 months ago from Norfolk

This made me smile. I heard someone say on the radio the other day, that looking after children must be the most boring thing in the world to do. U can't say that I agree with them at all but taking on two chihuahuas at the same time probably must liven things up!

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