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If you are a cupcake hoarder living as a bachlorette with a real housewife of New Jersey You may be getting ready for a Big Fat Gyspy wedding this weekend. If so, then you need to get your hair done at the Gatsby by Tracy and your makeup done by Olivia but beware because the Glam Fairy may smack you with her makeup brush and rip your project runway reject dress.
At the wedding be sure to pay the meter or it will be parking wars as you try to get your car out of impound! Once at the wedding be sure to have your gift wrapped copy of The Super Nanny ready to give to Bridezilla who said yes to the dress, she will need that book since she is 16 and pregnant! She walks down the isle with all The Sister Wives. Be sure to complement the 5 simple ingredient cake shaped like the grooms Ice Road Truck and made by The Cake boss paid for with ultimate coupons!
The wedding guests The Kardashians will be babysitting for Kate's eight and all The Gudger's in the lounge so please give them a smile as you head to the reception in Hell's kitchen. Mythbuster! The bride and groom are NOT The Littlest Couple, they are Too Fat for 15 and think they can dance with the stars but really they are The Biggest Losers! But you are a wedding Survivor! Your date Anthony Bordain makes you do shots and eat Strange Foods at the bar! But you live in the Real World and realize he has a queer eye for the straight guy so you leave him to hang with the Under Cover Boss and The Mob Wives in the Kareoke lounge! After a long night you lose the voice and leave to find your American Idol Tori Spelling!
It has been a long day so time to see if the parking lot attendants were able to Pimp your ride. You head back to your Clean House at the Jersey Shore and go to sleep having sweet dreams of your extreme makeover in the morning! You need to look good because tomorrow you will be Trading Spaces with a couple interested in having a Wife Swap! Even though your not a kinky girl you are a Born Diva so you are willing to take a risk! Now get back in your Monster House before the bad girls led by Snookie stage an intervention!
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The End of Days are coming so screw it, I am going to eat chocolate and hang out in my underground shelter watching reality TV until Dec 21st 2012! Read more of my Armegeddon plans and join my party!
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