Reasons Why You Should Never Go Grocery Shopping While Half Asleep

Source

It's Too Hot For Groceries

I've often heard you should never go grocery shopping while hungry because you buy too much food. I've also heard you should never go to the grocery store after just eating a big meal because you'll barely buy anything, even if you need it. But did you know you should never go to the supermarket for groceries while half asleep? Oh yes, this is true and I learned it the hard way.

Let me tell you how I stumbled upon this important information. Three factors played a part in this discovery: extreme heat, sickness, and Atlantic City. Yes, this is amazing! Who needs scientific data with factors like these? Basically, I have not been feeling so great lately, but I have been toughing it out by going to work and not letting anything drag down my planned day trip to Atlantic City. On top of that, it is has been hot. Really hot. Really, really, really, hot. I don't think I can stress that enough.

Yesterday, I went on a lovely day trip to Atlantic City. Thankfully, a bus took us, which was in my best interest since driving has never been my best skill, and navigating probably isn't my thing when I am exhausted and not feeling so well. It was a great day, but it was really hot. I think we've already established this earlier on. Really, really, really hot.

After being sick, suffering from the extreme heat, and wandering around all day in Atlantic City, my Sunday should have been spent sleeping late. However, that was not going to happen. Do you know why? Because it is really, really, really hot in Maryland and I needed to get up at the crack of dawn for groceries, that is why. I needed to get up as the sun was coming up so I could "beat the heat" and walk to the local grocery store. Oh, the fun that awaited me!

Wait, Where Am I Going Again?

You can imagine the joy I was feeling as I rolled out of bed this morning to get dressed at the crack of dawn to go to a supermarket I wasn't even sure had reopened yet. After all, just last weekend, no stores had any power in that area because of a monster storm that came through and knocked out the electricity in Maryland. Stupid, evil storm. For this reason, I was running kind of low on groceries anyway. It was getting serious in my fridge.

I knew my mission was to get to the grocery store as fast as humanly possible and return before it started to hit the 90s. This was all easier said than done in a zombie-like state. I was inspired though since I had just eaten the last piece of cheese, and I refuse to live without cheese. We all have our limits and I had hit mine.

At any rate, I was off to the grocery store. It is not even my favorite grocery store, it is just the cheapest one that opens at the crack of dawn. Also, they sell cheese. It was important to get cheese. I also wanted popsicles. This is important to the story as well. I am really getting off topic right now. Perhaps hubs should not be written while half asleep either.

A Grocery Store Zombie Apocalypse

After stumbling towards the grocery store for 15 minutes in sleepwalk mode, I finally arrived at around 7:15 in the morning. The scene I found there was similar to any zombie movie I'd ever seen. People were roaming around also looking like they were sleepwalkers. If I were to use one word to describe how folks looked, the word "energetic" would not come to mind.

Let's face it, no one should be up at 7:15 doing grocery shopping on a Sunday morning. But yet, we were. I felt a special kinship to the other zombie-like customers. Perhaps they also needed cheese, popsicles, and medication to make their Sunday a little brighter just like me. Honestly, it looked like most were just leaving the night shift from somewhere else and getting groceries before going home to sleep. At any rate, we were in the same "wish we were in bed snoozing" boat.

Shopping List, What's That?

I had been compiling a grocery shopping list all week in anticipation for that awesome moment when I finally got to acquire actual groceries from a store that finally had electricity and fresh food. I was not planning on being nearly asleep when this happened, but nonetheless, I remembered the list and was proud of this achievement.

I really did intend on sticking to the list, but somewhere along the way, I found myself improvising. This is the first reason you should not go grocery shopping while half asleep (hey, am I getting back on topic now?)... grocery lists mean nothing to you when you think your entire shopping experience could all be part of a dream.

Potatoes were on my grocery shopping list. Somehow in my dreamy state I interpreted this to mean I needed boxes (yes, plural!) of Au Gratin potatoes. Imagine my surprise when I came home, took a nap, and then starting unpacking my bags. Did I mention I have radishes, boxes (yes, also plural!) of Jello, strawberries, and hot dogs? They were not on the list at all. I think the radishes were on sale. I am not sure about the rest.

Lost in the Moment

I also noticed this morning I got lost a lot in the grocery store. This would be the next reason why someone should not go shopping while almost asleep. I went to get granola bars three different times and ended up in the wrong aisles buying other stuff. I suspect this is when the Jello somehow ended up in my basket.

I also nearly ran into other shoppers while I was shopping. I mean, literally almost ran into people. It would have been embarrassing if any of us were actually awake to notice this happened more than once. It was OK. The details at this point are blurry for me and I am sure everyone else there this morning can say the same.

Crying Over Popsicles is NOT Acceptable Adult Behavior

I have been craving those red, white, and blue popsicles for weeks. However, due to extreme heat (walking popsicles home when it is 103 degrees is not possible) and 7-Eleven's inability to carry delicious red, white, and blue popsicles (Jerks! The rainbow kind is not the same!), I have not been able to satisfy my desperate need to eat these popsicles.

Finally, I was armed with a Target cooler bag and ice packs this morning. It is amazing how much effort an exhausted person can put into preparing for one trip to the grocery store when popsicles are so important. This was the day I would get my red, white, and blue popsicles! I was as excited as one can possibly be when half asleep.

At the end of my grocery shopping / sleepwalk adventure, I went to pick up my popsicles before getting in line. Much to my dismay, there were no red, white, and blue popsicles. I don't know if you've ever seen a grown woman cry over popsicles before, but it certainly almost happened this morning. All of my frustration and exhaustion boiled over and I almost openly weeped in the middle of the frozen foods aisle.

I somehow managed to pull myself together and accept the fact that I was not getting these delicious red, white, and blue popsicles. I wasn't even picky about the brand! Anything that was red, white, and blue would have worked! But oh no, apparently no one is patriotic anymore in this country when it comes to their frozen treats. This was simply not meant to be for me!

I finally decided to get some similar popsicles made with yogurt (perhaps this would help my stomach anyway) and move on with my life. After all, I was able to purchase plenty of cheese, so that helped my mood. Oh, I suppose my point with this is you can easily cry over ridiculous matters when you are half asleep. It is better to stay home and not subject the world to your madness. Yes, there... I knew was attempting to make some type of point.

Thank You For Making It This Far

Thank you for taking this ridiculous journey with me. I do realize perhaps I am still not quite able to function as I should considering this does not even have an actual list with reasons in it as to why you should not grocery shop while half asleep. However, I don't really have the time to ponder over how bad this hub really is since another storm seems to be brewing outside, and no doubt, I will need to shut off the computer in case the power goes out suddenly. So please, enjoy my insanity.... at least until I have the time to edit all the craziness out of this hub.

Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle

Atlantic City was fun... and hot.  Really, really, really hot.
Atlantic City was fun... and hot. Really, really, really hot. | Source

One Week Later:

Thank you, Target!
Thank you, Target! | Source

More by this Author


Comments 26 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

I'm exhausted after reading this; you poor thing! I felt guilty laughing but this was hilarious, Jeannie! I certainly hope you are feeling better now and you've gotten some rest.

Great hub!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Haha! this really made me laugh! the thought of getting up and out by 7.15 approx was hilarious! I would have been one of those zombies! I am useless at getting to work at 8.30! in fact my friends at work laugh when I say, good morning at ten, been there for nearly two hours, only awake for about half hour! oh those popsicles! on a serious note, yes really really serious, please please please send us some of that heat! we are drowning over here! we have had more rain in three months than we have in a century! I look like a duck! my feet have got webbing on, and its driving me quakers! lol!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Bill, it is OK to laugh. I can laugh now, too. It just didn't seem that funny this morning. I have taken a couple of naps, watched some Harry Potter movies on the Family Channel, and drank some coffee. I am much better now. :-) Thanks!

Nell Rose, yes, the goal was to get there at 7, but that just couldn't happen. I am so grateful they were open at all. I guess I am lucky they had food considering they probably had to throw out their frozen foods because of the loss of power. At least, I hope they did! I would be more than happy to send you some heat if I could. We are having a drought, despite the harsh thunderstorms we get here and there. We should make a trade! Thanks for the comment!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Gee, we live just down the Road (DownBeach) from A.C. You could have said Hello and I would have taken you to "Custards Last Stand" they have EVERYTHING Mary. But, Alas, you didn't know that a Female Hubber lives so close by. And yes, it is Insanely HOT in NJ, by the Shore.

I too used to live in Maryland (Small world)...Going shopping at that UnGodly time for Food Mary...all I can say (gently) You are OUT OF YOUR MIND, GIRL FRIEND! I now look forward to Following your Fun Filled HUBS!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Well, gee, I could have just dropped by and enjoyed some air conditioning at your place for a while. :-)

Yeah, I just had to get food and it was the only opportunity I would have to get it before the temperatures went crazy. My mother told me it was 92 before 9 a.m. today. I love summer, but this is getting out of hand.

Thanks for checking out my hub and for the comment!


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

I am exhausted, because it is almost bedtime here for me, but felt all your pain and frustrations while reading. Seriously, I laughed so hard I was crying. I am voting up and sharing too.


josh3418 profile image

josh3418 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

Jeannie,

You totally rocked this hub! I was laughing the enitre way through! And I am right there with ya....No Red, White and Blue popsicles????? I would have had to go back into the store to buy a box of Tissues for goodness sake! That is an emergency, a code-red! Shame on those stores, and shame on 7-eleven, aren't they supposed to be a convenience store? Sheesh! That was not very convenient for you, or people like myself who love those patriotic popsicles!!! ROFL Great hub Jeannie,and I cracked up even more when I read the part about you mentioning that you weren't really even giving your readersa list, which your title clearly stated. LOL That made your hub even the more awesome and funny! I loved everything about this hub! Keep up the awesome work here on HubPages! :)

Many votes and sharing!

P.S. really sharing, really really sharing, did I mention I was sharing! :) Have a great night Jeannie, take care!


B Lucy profile image

B Lucy 4 years ago from Podunk, Virginia

Hahaha! Girl, I feel your pain. We officially hit 108 here in Virginia today and I too had to hit the store super early . . . for Diet Pepsi. Caffeine headaches are THE worst. After spending 80 bucks, I realized when I got home, I didn't get Diet Pepsi!! (Guess who brewed some sweet tea?!) LOL! Love, Love, Love this hub. Thanks so much for giving me a much needed laugh while waiting for the cold front to roll through!!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

Really, really, really, this is funny! Even when I'm not hot and tired, I'm not happy when the main things on my grocery list aren't there! What is a grocery store for after all?

I loved your "ridiculous journey" and don't think it was ridiculous at all. It was enjoyable, well written, and above all - funny!

Voted up and funny.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest

I don't think I've ever shopped that early or while that sleepy. But I am a very slow waker upper and I do some pretty dumb things when I get up in the morning. If I didn't live alone it would be embarrassing. Recently I have gone out with backwards or inside out clothes and mismatched socks. BTW, did you notice any difference in your grocery bill, as in more or less than usual?


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Janine Huldie - I am happy you enjoyed the hub. Thanks for voting it up and for sharing!

josh3418 - I am glad you laughed the whole way through the hub. I feel like my writing is funnier if I am not feel well. I am not sure why it works that way though. :-) Yeah, what is up with people not having the red, white, and blue popsicles? You can't run a grocery store without them! Thanks for checking out my hub and thanks for sharing it!

B Lucy - These temperatures have been ridiculous lately. At least today is a little cooler. I can actually breathe outside. Hooray! Sorry about your Diet Pepsi. I've done that before, too. Thanks for the comment!

tillsontitan - Thanks so much for the votes! I know what you mean... those red, white, and blue popsicles are important and every supermarket should have them. :-)

lambservant - I've shopped that early every now and then, but I've never been that exhausted before. It was a unique experience. And yes, now that you mention it, when I looked at the receipt I was quite surprised at how much it was. I spent about $30 more than usual. Shesh! Thanks for the comment and thanks for checking out my hub!


DeborahNeyens profile image

DeborahNeyens 4 years ago from Iowa

Huge bummer about the popsicles, Jeannie. I feel your pain! Thanks for sharing your story and for the laughs.


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

I don't know whether to cry for you or laugh!

I just can't imagine doing the shopping first thing in the morning in a zombie state - you did brilliantly!

no popsicles was just tragic....

Thanks for sharing this great fun story, loved it and voted up.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

DeborahNeyens - Yes, it was a sad moment in my life. I suspect all the good popsicles melted when the electricity was out for days. :-( Thanks for checking out my hub!

Movie Master - I am now actually surprised I managed to do what I did and not fall asleep in one of the aisles or something. Thanks for the comment and the vote up!


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Another one that made me laugh out loud. Ha!ha. The scariest thing about shopping that early in the morning (at Wal-Mart) is that people actually seem to be wearing their pjs to the store. Not too pretty. Oooh. I love popsicles. We've been on a fudgecicle binge and have actually made some extra trips to the store armed with our cooler bag to hold big quantities.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Oh yes, I have been at Walmart early in the morning and I know exactly what you are talking about. I always feel like I've achieved a lot just by putting on clothes before going to Walmart. I know I am doing better than most the shoppers. Thank you for your comment!


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

Somehow I missed this one Jeannie, but after reading this I see what you went through. It's been very hot in NC since April pretty much and doing anything is exhausting but being half-asleep does not help anyone's situation on top of that.

I've been to the store on little sleep- enough so where I can focus and get everything. But not half-asleep thank goodness. I have been dumb enough to go hungry. I try not to do that if at all. This hub is proof you need to be healthy, mostly awake, and alert when you go shopping. Great hub!


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I try not to do anything important for at least an hour after I wake up. My brain is in a fog....Takes a while for it to clear up. Glad you finally got your popsicles. Maybe you should stock up on the kind you like.

I voted this Hub UP, and shared in all the right places.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Oh, it was such an extremely hot summer this year! I can imagine NC was even worst than MD. You are right... it is best to be alert and healthy when grocery shopping. When I finally looked at my purchases, it was almost as if a whole different person went shopping for me. I did not remember picking up half the stuff I'd gotten. Thanks for checking out my hub and sharing it!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

mary615 - That is a good idea... not doing anything important for the first hour of waking up is probably the right thing to do. I am usually a morning person, but not a crack of dawn morning person. ;-) Thanks so much for sharing and voting my hub up!


everymom profile image

everymom 4 years ago from Massachusetts

Jeannie, I, too, LOVED this Hub! Just what I needed as I started dozing here at my computer, trying to procrastinate...er, write/work...and this Hub woke me right up and had me on the floor! Thanks!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hahaha... I am happy I could wake up with this. :-) I am half asleep typing this comment right now. Thanks for your comment and thanks for checking out my hub!


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

O, my. Too funny....glad at least you found SOME popsicles...even if they were not the ones you really wanted. And the cheese too must have soothed the raw edges.

A great way to begin my reading on hubpages today..thanks for the smile.

Sending Angels to you and yours. :) ps


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! I still remember that being a really rough day at the grocery store. I am happy I was more alert this weekend while grocery shopping.


PaisleeGal profile image

PaisleeGal 3 years ago from Memphis, Tennessee, USA

As usual.. Funny and entertaining! I will be sure and NOT go grocery shopping if a nap would be better for me!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! I remember being exhausted when I wrote this hub, too. I would, however, like to say that it can be interesting to write a hub while half asleep... the grammar might be awful, but other than that, a good time. :-)

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle (Jeannieinabottle)1,161 Followers
    440 Articles

    Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 5 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - anything from hamsters to office work.



    Click to Rate This Article
    working