- Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes
Collection of Funny, awkward, crazy, slapstick, weird and totally bizarre sarcastic quotes/one liners
- Sarcasm isn't an option, it comes with the package. If you can't handle it, don't come near me
- They say that good boys are found in the corners of the earth. UNFORTUNATELY, the earth is round.
- Just because I haven't reacted yet doesn't mean that all is forgotten. I'm just waiting for the right time and that should scare the hell out of you.
- After thinking it all through carefully, summarising each point and observing each tiny detail I have come to the conclusion that I couldn't care less...
- Would like to say sorry! To all the people that I haven't offended or pissed off today! Look at the bright side there's always tomorrow!
- To error is human, to love is divine, to piss me off is a mistake
- I love stupid people! Without them there'd be no way to measure my brilliance.
- Holy crap! Did you just feel that? I think the whole world just revolved around YOU!
- I think you should relax. Hey, why don't you take a long hot bath in gasoline and smoke a Newport :)
- I never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if I have to leave them alone in order to do it
- Surgeon General warnings shouldn't say "Women shouldn't drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy". It should warn that drinking alcohol may lead to pregnancy
- I'm NOT any man's half-time, down-time, spare-time, part-time,any-time or sometime. so don't waist my -time
- I speak sarcasm fluently.
- If i ever wanted to commit suicide one day, all i would have to do is jump from your ego to your IQ level *splat*
- Dear haters, I'm sorry that your life sucks and my life is so blessed... wait no I'm not, get your own life and stay out of mine... have a nice day
- look it's my cup of care \_/ oh look it's empty. well I guess you're out of luck then. :P
- Awwwwwwww you don't like me? how sweet! i don't like you either! I'm glad we got that straightened out!
- Making a few changes in my life. If you don't hear back from me, you are one of those changes!!
- Stupid people are everywhere, it's like trying to dodge raindrops!
- So sorry to burst your bubble...but, I don't play games with people I care about. It's called being a grown-up. You should try it sometime.
- Everyone knows that I am an angel..dam, hold on a min..sorry, my tail was tangled around my pitchfork, and my horns were tangled in my hair..now, where was I.
- oh joy...it's Monday again...who's in line to piss me off first?
- Careful. I have a black-belt in Sarcasm.
- Hi... can I borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye with it.
- Awww..do you need a tissue for your issue?
- The main difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that the optimist is happy and the pessimist is right.
- Can you be annoying a little later I'm still cleaning the gun...
- Be careful, my sarcasm switch gets stuck in the on position...a lot.
- When you figure out what you want, Let me know, 'cause I can't wait to say: IT"S TOO LATE!
- What do I care about what you say about me. you don't even like yourself.
- How about you fix yourself instead of breaking me... That sounds more like a plan.
- Everything is just wucking fonderful, thanks for asking ;)
- For My SANITY and your SAFETY ...SHUT UP!
- More Mean Sarcastic Quotes
Plethora of collection of mean, crazy, bitchy and hellova sarcastic Quotes.
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