Laughing Out Loud (lol) and Other Irritating Sayings
a bad case of wind
Funny Quotes and Sayings
Laughing Out Loud - or -
Lol: meaning 'laughing out loud'. How else would you laugh? Have you ever heard anyone los (laughing out silent)? You can smirk; you can smile; you can be silently gleeful, but if you see a silent laugh, it's probably just a bad case of wind.
Even a chuckle or a chortle is heard. A giggle is louder still; a cackle is verging on the same decibels as laughter, it’s a wee bit creepy, but it's loud enough to be heard above the washing machine. But, unless you have your hearing aid switched off, or you're twenty or more yards away from its source, laughter is always aloud. Although, it's not always allowed (lol)-:(
Anyway, what do you have to laugh at? You're an aging would-be geek, sitting at a computer, trying to be personable, and scratch a few pennies off the internet, because there's no proper jobs left in your part of the World.
And, I can’t imagine you working a QWERTY keyboard and laughing at the same time - and if you ever had to sneeze, driving round a hairpin bend, you'll know what it's like laughing out loud whilst fumbling for your specs and trying to text on a mobile.
Now teenagers, drive like that all the time. And, if I remember right, the convulsions you get sneezing are one thing; the kind you get with your girlfriend, while driving - are dangerous. You’re silently gleeful, of course, but for the sake of good manners, you’re not laughing out loud.
Contradiction in Terms: An expression used by clever smug boggers, who could just as easily say, "make your mind up". They could even raise one eyebrow, and say "make your mind up", in a supercilious, condescending manner, whilst sipping their tea with their pinkie in the air, and that still wouldn't be quite as irritating as a smug, self-opinionated twerp, going round pontificating, with “that’s a contradiction in terms”.
Buts: I'm going to put 'I'm sorry but', 'you say that but', and 'I hear what you're saying, but', all together, to save time. (Although, I'm not in a hurry - I could rant all day.)
'I'm sorry but', is used a lot in my locale; it's said in utter cold blood: "I'm sorry, but I've just clamped your car for being 2mm over the line". (Aye right, and you're fresh out the Mad Frankie Fraser School of Human Kindness.)
'You say that, but' and 'I hear what you're saying but'. Now, whenever I hear - ‘you say that, but’, I know someone's about to be called a liar, in a highly sophisticated manner, (as taught in UK public schools) and they're going to duck the question by saying 'I hear what you're saying, but'. Here, in the UK, politicians and media interviewers share these expressions as freely as dogs share genital odours/aromas, just before they rip each other's faces off (the dogs, I mean). About sixty million Brits are shouting at the telly. “Just call the rissole a liar, ya’ smarmy git! We all know what he is; he's a politician, and his lips are moving”.
Well, I've had enough for today, and I'm sure you have too. I had a list as long as your arm and I've only touched on about three irritants. (Why do people say 'a list as long as your arm’? Why don't they use their own arm to measure with? It’s closer at hand... Gawd, I've started again). I've also (I won't say got) an irritatingly, anal retentive computer that keeps pulling me up about my grammar - (it's not laughing out loud; it's laughing aloud - just saying, lol) so, enough's enough.
Computer laughing out loud
- That's a Funny Question to Ask the Queen
I've always thought it funny when people say who is this? when they're on the phone. Dont they know who they are? If I hear the phone ringing, the first thing I do before answering it, is find out who I am. It just seems good manners, when answer
- What Did The Baby Boomers Ever Do For Us?
So, you're 60 something, and you're fed up with all the red tape, the inundation of small print, the political correctness, and the kind of people who perpetuate clichs like political correctness...
- Mothers Nurture - Wives Have A Different Agenda
Sometime in the 80s, my wife unwittingly stumbled across the answer to all our modern Worlds woes. Now, shes a lovely lass, and shes the most selfless person Ive ever met, but if Im a fool,...
- Why Do I Always Get The Grumpy One?
It's that time of year again, when we have to go to the Post Office to get the cars licensed. In the UK, the Post Office is publicly owned - although probably not for much longer. My wife said she was busy,...
- Why Are Slow Drivers Always in Such a Hurry to Get in Front of Me?
Why are slow drivers always in a hurry to get in front of everyone else? The question above sparked off the following rant. Originally, it was to be the title, but when I read it through, after laying it...
- Don't Say 'Don't Be Stupid'
Don't say don't be stupid; nobody's stupid by choice - because anyone who chooses to be stupid would have to be stupid to make such a choice; and, if people were clever enough to choose not to be stupid, they...
More by this Author
Does anybody know who invented the beeping washing machine? I'm trying to imagine the thought process of the person or persons who conceived that spark of ingenuity. I bet they phoned home to their nearest and...
Knowing how to spot customers’ buying signals, is a great asset to sales staff, and it’s simply a case of tuning into your customers’ emotions. An experienced salesperson is listening for these...
Health gurus recommend whole grains nowadays, but quinoa isn't really a grain; it's a seed. It's more nutritious than grains, with: amino acids, fibre, vitamins and minerals, enzymes, phytonutrients and antioxidants....