Secrets You Should Take to the Grave

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Honesty is the best policy... right?

I am one for being totally honest all the time. Some of my friends (and certainly my enemies) would say I am brutally honest to a fault. However, there are some secrets I think people should just keep to themselves. There is no need to share too many details with too many people. For that matter, you don't need to share some facts at all. I say, just take some secrets to the grave. It is best for everyone.

Some thoughts and feelings we have are just too evil. I have a theory even the nicest people are walking around thinking or doing some things that would make the rest of us cringe. Sometimes silence is simply golden. There are some secrets that are OK to keep! We live in a time of over-sharing. Maybe we were better off as a society when we were a bit more private. For instance, here are a few things I think are better left unsaid:

You are in love with a family member.

OK, so it is totally normal to love your family. However, it is not so great to be in love with a family member. Strangely enough, I do think this happens from time to time - probably more often than you think! Sometimes cousins have crushes on each other. Sometimes brothers and sisters are not raised together, so they feel a close bond (maybe too close) to each other when they do meet.

Guess what? Don't mention it! Most people think it is weird. There are laws against it in many states. So just keep it to yourself. The last thing you want to do is get drunk at your aunt's wedding and blurt out your undying love for your Cousin Pam. Keep it silent and keep it in your pants! And for goodness sake, don't hit on her while she is trying to eat some wedding cake in the corner in a desperate attempt to avoid you.

Of course, there are exemptions to every rule. Most people can look past distance cousins getting together. Sometimes a step-brother and step-sister that did not grow up together might find there is an attraction to other. Every now and then you even hear of a mortifying situation with a brother and sister hooking up since they never realized they were related. Yeah, it happens sometimes. However, you know when wrong is wrong, so just calm down and don't mention your unhealthy obsession with family members. Chances are, you will outgrow it at some point in your life. Save yourself from the humiliation.

You can't wait for your uncle to die.

Clearly we've already determined some people have major family issues. Maybe your problem is not that you love too much; maybe you love too little. Let's get real, we all have some annoying family members. Often, we still care about that family member in some way, but sometimes that is not the case. If you hate a family member and can't wait for him to kick the bucket, you might want to zip your lip about it.

Maybe Grandpa was a mean old geezer that never allowed you to have Jello after dinner. Perhaps Uncle Bubba gave all the other kids chocolates for Christmas, but gave you lumps of coal. Or maybe, just maybe, you are simply a greedy jerk that is waiting for rich Aunt Hilda to die so you can cash in. Shut up about it!

You are not going to win anyone over with your stories about how you can't wait for Cousin Fred to croak so you can inherit his boat. Believe it or not, some guys even hit on women with pick up lines about the amazing inheritance they will get with their parents finally die. To any guys out there using that as a pick up line (and you know who you are), there is a special place in hell reserved just for you.

You had sex with the president.

I know, I know, it must be tempting to tell everyone you know you are having an affair with the president or any other politician for that matter. However, if you actually like that person, you just need to keep your mouth shut. No one needs that drama. Do you want the president to get kicked out of office? Would you like to see your face all over the tabloids? Do you want his opponents to obsess over your affair rather than focusing on all the good he has done?

Personally, I think it is terrible for a guy to cheat on his wife. With that said, it is not my business. As long as no one is cheating on me, I don't need to know. Really. Please. Don't tell me!

As long as a politician is doing his job, I don't care what else (or who else) he is doing on the side. If you are opting to do some dirty deeds with the president and it is not illegal, shut up about it. Don't get some president thrown out of office because you just have to let your big-mouthed friend in on the secret. Trust me, the whole nation will thank you for it.

Source

You have super weird, but harmless habits.

Let's face it, we all do weird stuff when we think no one is looking. Maybe you having some strange bathroom habits or you like to munch on chalk or your nose picking habit has reached new heights. None of us want to know about it.

Chances are, you have a really weird habit. You know... the kind of creepy weirdness you've searched for online only to find out that people don't even want to talk about it there either. It is OK. We can all be a bit strange sometimes, but there is no need to tell the world about it. This is especially the case if you enjoy something others may judge as immoral or sick, but it harms no one else.

I say, as long as you are not messing up anyone else's life, you go ahead and be as freaky or wacky as you want to be. But hey, please leave me out of it. If your weird habit is going to make me want to throw up, I don't want to hear about it. Please take that one to the grave with you.

Keep it quiet!

I realize discussing the issues you are having in your life can be very therapeutic. That is why I recommend finding a therapist if you really must speak to someone about any of these secrets. Yes, you can tell your therapist. No, you don't need to tell me. Nor do you need to tell Jerry Springer or any of his guests. Nor do you need to tell the people stuck on an elevator with you or the person sitting next to you on the bus. Let's make sure some secrets stay secrets.


Copyright ©2014 Jeannieinabottle

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Comments 37 comments

bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

Jeannie, you're always good for a good, hearty belly laugh. I have a weird habit but didn't know it until my ex-husband pointed it out. I won't go into details because you've asked me not to. Suffice it to say, every time I perform this perfectly healthy, normal daily function I'm reminded that I'm different - apparently.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Although I am now very curious, it is true. I did ask people to stop telling me weird habits. ;-) I doubt it is too weird though. Men just think some normal stuff is weird. Thanks for your comment!


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

At the risk of embarrassing myself (or having other women say, "what's weird about that"?) I will reveal my idiosyncrasy if you so deem. Then, I'll tell you the weird thing he does in the same instance! Hell, what do I have to lose? I divorced him and he's on wife number 5, so she's discovered his odd behavior as well! I feel a wicked moment coming on..........!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

This sounds really exciting, bravewarrior...


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

You haven't given me the go, Jeannie!


rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 2 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

I agree! My first cousin wanted to fool around when I was a teenager. YUCK! I didn't tell anyone what he had tried!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

bravewarrior, I am officially giving you the go now (even though I am already going against my own advice above). ;-)

rebeccamealey, I knew it! I think cousins do that type of thing more than people talk about... especially in their teens.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

Thank God you wrote this, Jeannie. Who knows when my last day will be, and I sure am glad you saved me a ton of embarrassment. Mum is the word for this boy...especially that sex with the President thing. :)

bill


lambservant profile image

lambservant 2 years ago from Pacific Northwest

Brave warrior, hurry up, I can't stand the suspense!

I can be an over-sharer but not about things so extreme as you mention. For example, I've never told anyone I have a crush on...oops, almost spilled the beans. And I never will tell anyone about the time I went to _____ and did _____ and got thrown out of ______ with ______. There I can keep a secret.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

I chicken out, Jeannie! :-)


lambservant profile image

lambservant 2 years ago from Pacific Northwest

BW, you have ruined my day. lol


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Jeannie.....Another very funny hub......yet on the other hand, you have a very good, serious point here! There really ARE many things we simply need not share. In the 1st place, it's never a smart move to self-disclose 24/7 and the other IMPORTANT fact is......Does anyone really CARE to know a lot of these things? I say, "No."

I can say without question...I have been told some things I'd have been so much better off just NOT KNOWING!!

Great hub, Jeannie........Up++++


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Bill, how scandalous! I never knew about you and the president. Don't worry... your secret is safe with me! ;-)

lambservant, I know! I can't believe we are not going to find bravewarrior's embarrassing secret. Also, I can't believe you are not willing to share your exciting secrets with us. Guess you are following my advice!

bravewarrior, it is OK. I forgive you. It makes it all the more interesting now that you won't share it. In my mind, it is some wonderful and gross secret, like you blow 24 carat gold out your nose or something - disgusting, yet profitable. Hehe.

fpherj48, I know what you mean. There are so many things I'd like to "un-hear" in life, but I can't. People tend to tell me more than I would ever like to know. Thanks for the vote up!


Weekend Reader profile image

Weekend Reader 2 years ago

Well, there go all my regular conversational gambits.

Any advice what I *can* talk about?


sheilamyers 2 years ago

Hilarious! I definitely don't want to hear about these things from people. In fact, now that I read them, I hope I can get them out of my mind so I don't even think about them.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 2 years ago from Pacific Northwest

This is kind of an overshare of sorts. I was kickin back in my recliner some time ago with a blanked over me, but my bare feet were sticking out and up, reminding me of feet sticking out of sheet in the morgue. So I took I photo with my phone and sent it to a friend with the caption "Can you come pick me up? I'm at the morgue and it's freezing in here." Problem was, I sent it to someone else by accident. This gal doesn't know my sick sense of humor. She texted back something to the effect of "OMG, you scared the crap out of me." Then another text, "My heart is racing. You really shook me up." Now we laugh about it, but it wasn't funny at the time. I was so embarrassed.


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

Very funny. You're always good for a laugh. My curiosity is definitely piqued by bravewarrior's comments, but some things we were never meant to know.


aethelthryth profile image

aethelthryth 2 years ago from American Southwest

Hurray for keeping some mystery in life!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Weekend Reader, talking about the weather is usually a pretty safe bet. ;-)

sheilamyers, there are so many things that are better left unsaid. I would prefer people kept even more unsaid, but these are the main points.

lambservant, I appreciate your sick sense of humor. It is funny that message went to the wrong person. Oh well! It is nice sometimes to have an inside joke.

FlourishAnyway, thanks so much. I am curious, too, but perhaps it is best we never know.

aethelthryth, you are so right. Sometimes it is even fun to be mysterious.


Smilealot 2 years ago

I will be honest about this hub, it was a great read, and it made me laugh thank you


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thank you! I am glad you liked it.


TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

TIMETRAVELER2 2 years ago

Now I know I'll never tell! Thanks!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hahaha, TIMETRAVELER2. Some secrets are best kept secret.


no body profile image

no body 2 years ago from Rochester, New York

Jeannie, you are so right and I'm sure we all can think of a million other things better left unsaid. Privacy exists because we are all lacking or not lacking in weirdness. I was personally considered weird in my past because all the kids knew I Didn't do any weird stuff. That labeled me weird, person with no life, goody-two-shoes and many other hurtful (at the time) things. I was tempted at that time to make up some strange things. There was a time when I saw something strange on a vacation to Florida. I tried to tell the kids I saw an upside down house attraction in North Fort Myers Florida. Finally I had something strange that involved me. None of the kids believed me so I was even worse labeled. So I say, yes, say nothing weird. Keep secrets to yourself and always use your common sense, if you have any. Voted Up, Funny, Awesome. Bob.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

That upside down house sounds pretty interesting. It is a shame the kids did not believe you. Oh well. I guess there are some weird things that are better left unsaid. ;-) Thanks for your comment!


no body profile image

no body 2 years ago from Rochester, New York

I was in third grade when I saw it. I'm not sure that it even exists anymore. No one I mention it to has ever heard of it and there is no Google on it that I can find. It was so cool though. I remember there was a ramp built to walk into it. It was a crude ramp so that the people who toured could plainly see that was not a part of the house. The house had a peaked roof pointing straight down to the ground and the ramp led into a garage where you were standing on the garage roof looking up at the floor where a very new car was hanging on the floor above you (with the keys inside). Then you went through the door that connected the garage to the house and the first room was a living room with the overstuffed couch, laz-e-boy and television overhead. The next door's top led into the dining room with set table above and a chandelier hanging straight up from the ceiling you are standing on. That is all I remember but this is what I reported in my written essay we were to do called, "What We Did On Summer Vacation." Well, as you can plainly see, I am scarred for life. : ) I will check to see again. It has been a long time since I checked Google.


no body profile image

no body 2 years ago from Rochester, New York

Now that I say this I see that China is doing finishing touches on a house that sounds exactly like what I saw as a kid. Now I am scarred and embarrassed. Bob


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Don't worry... I think China finds out about all the cool stuff in the U.S. and then makes it cheaper. That is probably what they are doing now with the house. ;-)


no body profile image

no body 2 years ago from Rochester, New York

I think so too. They do that because people are all accustomed to living with less. But I was so surprised to see the pictures. It was like I was a kid again looking at a memory. It did not have the garage with the car with keys in the ignition like the one when I was little but you can't have all memories renewed. Take care Ken.


Country-Sunshine profile image

Country-Sunshine 2 years ago from Texas

I'm constantly amazed at the things people wish to share! I got a good laugh from this article, as I know so many people who tell stories like this. Trust me, I really do NOT want to know!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I know what you mean. There is so much I wish my ears could "un-hear" but it is just too late.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 21 months ago

I wish a lot more people would take your advice to heart. While it is true that the good old days where not always that good, I still liked it when someone would ask if you wanted to know about their sex lives rather then getting on the nightly news and demanding that everyone knows the details. I was quite happy not knowing about that famous star's penchant for the famous goat of that other famous star.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 21 months ago from Baltimore, MD Author

You are so right! We used to have a choice in learning about certain private matters, but nothing seems private anymore. I would rather people keep it to themselves unless I specifically ask about it or go looking for information.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 19 months ago from Dallas, Texas

So many things fall under the category of Too Much Information, particularly in the news today. You have it right about taking some things to our graves or just sharing on a need to know basis. Voted up and funny.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 19 months ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much for the votes, PegCole17. There are so many times in life now I sit listening to someone and think, "Why on earth are you telling me this?" People really do need to take some stuff to the grave!


temptor94 profile image

temptor94 19 months ago from India

Interesting hub. I think many people have had at least one crush in our lifetime, which may be totally inappropriate. And oh yes, the uncommon and super-exciting thing we like or act crazy about, which seems totally unexciting to everyone around us.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 19 months ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Yes, I realize most people are guilty of at least a few of these things. And yes, sometimes we need to just be quiet and not give people the details. ;-) Thanks for your comment!

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