Seduction in a Construction Zone

New water lines were put in my town last year. At first I was put off because that meant a construction crew would be taking over the main road through town making a two minute drive to the school at least a ten minute drive. Oh I can hear you scoff at me over complaining about an extra eight minutes when it takes much longer than that to get from one point to another in large cities. However, this is a place that has no stop lights. There’s one blinking light in the whole county and most of us aren’t even aware it’s there most of the time. Anyway, the main road through town is the only way for me to take my daughter to the high school. There is no short cut or alternate route, so four times a day I had to make my way through the orange construction cones and past the man who holds the powerful stop and go sign.

From the very first day of construction the stop/go sign guy, whom I began referring to as “cone man” because he was always standing by a large orange construction cone, started giving me the eye. You know, the kind of eye that says, “Yo momma, c’mon over here and let me show you some lovin’ construction style.” My daughter caught sight of this immediately. She was dumbfounded and grossed out all at the same time. “Eeewww mom! That guy is so totally checking you out!”

Now it wasn’t that this cone man was gross or anything. In fact, I was quite impressed that his jeans fit him so nicely and revealed a backside that was rather round and fit looking. He was an average looking guy. Not hard on the eyes, yet not crash-my-car gorgeous. My daughter’s problem was that cone man was probably in his late twenties, while I am a forty-something mother. I guess that kind of makes me a MILF, although I didn’t know what a MILF was until someone enlightened me not so long ago. For anyone who doesn't know, it's a term used by men to describe a woman who is a mother that one would like to have sex with.

My daughter was still laughing as we reached the school, and before she got out of the car I told her to not be so hard on my cone man which sent her into tear producing laughter. Secretly I started wondering what could be wrong with this guy if he was indeed checking me out. I mean, I was old enough to be his, um, much older sister or something. I wasn’t totally sure yet, but I was about to find out because I was approaching the construction zone and cone man was already looking in my direction.  As I passed him, I decided to look at his face instead of his buttocks to get a clue about his intentions. Sure enough, he was staring hard, and then he smiled and waved. I flipped up one finger, the pointer finger, to acknowledge his gesture. Yes, he was checking me out. I saw his eyes linger just a little too long on my headlights. There was no mistaking his intentions. He was flirting with me.

I must admit that this little flirty incident put me in a very good mood, and my stomach had butterflies as I went about my normal routine of picking my daughter up that afternoon. Again, as I approached cone man, his stare became intense, then a smile came across his face, and he waved at me. Not knowing exactly how to handle the situation, I smiled and gave him another finger wave. Okay, now I’m getting dangerously close to leading this guy on even though I was only doing what any southern person would do by acknowledging his friendliness. Friendliness? Maybe, but his eyes were saying something that was much friendlier than “Hello lady, have a nice day.”

After picking up my daughter, we headed back through town, and as the construction cones slowly came into view, my nerves started getting all jittery, and I was feeling kind of tingly inside - a feeling very similar to having a first date with someone. This time cone man stopped us so that traffic could come through from the opposite direction. Now I was trapped. My mind started racing over what I would do while sitting helpless in my car waiting for the cute cone man to flip the sign to “go." My eyes were darting around trying to fix on something away from him.

Don't look at him! Just look at the bank or the oncoming traffic or the corner store...anything but him!

But I had to end up looking at him so I’d know when to go. After all, he alone was in control since he held a sign that clearly stated when people should stop and when they could go. I slowly looked at him, and he was smiling as he gave me a familiar wave. This time I waved back with my full hand.

Now I’ve done it. I’ve given him a full hand wave that evidently in his language means c’mon big boy show me what you got.

He then broadened his smile and gave me a big head nod.

My daughter was livid. “Mom! What are you doing? This guy totally has the hots for you or something!” The only thing I knew to do at that moment was to diffuse the steamy situation with humor, so I casually replied, “Cone man can’t help it. I’ve still got it, all the women in our family have it, and it’s kind of like a curse.” Of course she howled with laughter, which was part of my plan to get her attention away from the evolving construction seduction.

The MILF Family Tree

From there, we had plenty of laughs over the next few weeks. I was able to back up my claims about having a curse that brings out animal attraction in men no matter how old the women in my family get. I told her about how my mother has been married three times, and the third husband fell under her spell when she was in her fifties. My daughter’s eyes got wide with wonder over that one. I mean, being fifty-something is old…to a fourteen year old anyway. The story that finally sold her was how my grandmother, my mother’s mother, was also married three times only her husbands died. One by one, they died, and I’ve always joked with my family about how Grandmother was too much woman for those men to handle. The really interesting thing is that at 85 years old, my grandmother put yet another man under her spell, and he begged her to marry him. For years he begged, and for years she told him no. I think she was worried he might die too.

After two solid generations of pure MILF women, I suppose this makes me a third generation MILF. At least that's what I'd like to believe. My daughter will be the fourth generation to carry on the tradition or curse, and I warned her to be merciful by only choosing men with strong hearts and the mental and physical strength to withstand the power of the curse. 

Will Sweatpants Bring Sexy Back?

With my daughter sold on the notion that the women in our family have an irresistible, sometimes fatal charm that arouses animal passion in men, we looked forward to driving down Main Street to see what the cone man would do next. One day he stopped us when there was no traffic coming from the other side of the road. There was no reason for him to stop us, yet he did. We gave each other our usual big smile and enthusiastic waves, but this time he began to undress my car with his eyes. Very slowly, he peeled away every inch of the vehicle until there was nothing left but me and a steering wheel. Now I was really nervous. I was used to making the top half of myself presentable, but I always neglected the bottom half since he couldn’t see it, and there I sat in my old sweatpants and flip flops. OH MY GOD! Maybe that’s why he switched the sign to GO so quickly.

Hit and Run

I was expecting cone man to quickly move on to another MILF after that, but I was wrong. As I approached the construction zone for the 3rd time that day, there he stood…my cone man holding his sign and giving me the eye. The MILF eye. It was a perplexing situation because the cones had been moved, and now they were zig zagging all around and I couldn’t figure out how to maneuver around and out of them. As I was trying to figure this out, I looked over at my cone man, and he winked at me.

How did it progress to winking after only a few weeks?

He was a bold cone man, and I was flustered beyond belief. So I inched my way out looking for a safe exit to make my turn, and he waved for me to go on while giving me another seductive wink. The second wink sent me into an emotional tailspin, I mashed on the accelerator a bit too hard and plowed right over one of his construction cones. Glancing back, I could see the cone was completely flattened and flopping helplessly in the road. I was a cone killer!

I couldn’t stop. I wanted to stop and apologize, but I was too embarrassed, so it was a clear case of hit and run. However on my way back through town later, I did stop. I rolled my window down and before I could open my mouth, he said, “Hey honey, you ran over my cone!” Apologizing profusely, I stammered, “I…I...I don’t know what I was thinking, or doing, and I’m so, so sorry for, um, you know, running over the cone, I...I…” Thankfully he stopped me in mid-babble and waved for me to make the turn down my road, and he was laughing the whole time. He knew what he’d done. He was toying with me, seducing me in his construction cone man way and getting me all flustered and distracted. As I was rounding the corner, I glanced over and cone man gave me a nod, a smile, a wave, and a wink. It was almost like those signals coaches give to baseball players. I laughed, waved, smiled and gave a little wink back.

Unrequited Love

Sadly, that was the last time I ever saw my cone man. There was no warning that it was over…no teary goodbyes…no last chance winks…no more undressing my car with his eyes… nothing. I miss him terribly, and I’m sure he misses me too. He can’t help missing me, you know, since I have the curse. Now there is more construction in our town, and I can feel those butterflies fluttering in my stomach every time I approach the "zone" and those men in their orange vests. I've looked in vain for my cone man, but he has clearly moved on. Now, as I look at the construction cones peppering the lonely roads, the sight of them makes me yearn for my cone man. Just this morning, as I passed the man who holds the stop/go sign, I refused to look at him. I couldn’t. He would only break my heart as the last cone man did.

Disclaimer: No, I wasn't really in love with cone man (although the events were real), and I do not consider myself a MILF in the least. Although my mother is a MILF and my grandmother was a MILF for sure. :)

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Comments 132 comments

Jerilee Wei profile image

Jerilee Wei 7 years ago from United States

That's way too funny.  Don't think at 60 I'll be having your problem anymore, it's more like the 12 year old in the back seat looking at least 17 or older that I gotta whatch the cone men on.  Great entertaining hub.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks Jerilee! Don't be so quick to dismiss your inner sex goddess. My grandmother was an irresistible man magnet well into her 80's! Thanks for coming in to read, and for the nice comment. It's good to see you. :)


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Pam

Okay so now we can comment! Just a word from me: COUGAR!

:D


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Cris, LOL! Okay, one word from me, "Grrrrooowl!" or maybe that should be "meow." ;)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I can say unequivocally...another Pammy Whammy!  So funny!  I was laughing out loud at you and your cone man (sorry...I don't mean to make light of the situation...I know how much the cone man meant to you.)  I love your daughter's reactions too.  I could picture her and she kind of helped put everything into perspective.

You built this up so well that eventually all you had to do was say "He was a bold cone man," and i was rolling. All you have to do is tell a story in your style and it becomes a masterpiece of humor.  It flows so smoothly and natural...just like your talking to you're best friend.

I think Cris has it right.  You're a cougar...Rrrroooooaaaaarr!  And that reminds me...I have only ever gotten the finger wave from you.  When do I get the whole hand? 

I'll be waiting...over on hwy. 51 where they're replacing the asphalt.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I think it'll depend on the cone! *wink*


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Christoph, first...*full hand wave along with wiggly spirit fingers* :) You humble me with your comment. I appreciate it so much, and it's because of your very supportive comments (like this one) that keep me motivated and inspired to continue trying to write some humor. You are the king of funny, so if I happen to get lucky enough to tickle your funny bone, then that makes my day. Thank you!

Cris, I'm not as particular about cones as one might think. :) lol!


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Thinking of taking up a new occupation....Cone Guy....the works pretty easy....and I can check out the MILF too!!!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

R. Blue, I think you'd make a dandy cone guy! But this is serious work you know. I'm pretty sure those guys who direct traffic with the stop/go signs have to go through some rigorous training, like some kind of boot camp traffic school. ;) No doubt you can handle it though. Just be careful with the MILF's...don't go breakin' hearts! :D


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

Now this is a story I can relate to but in the opposite spectrum. I have never been the cone guy and when I delegate that task to someone, he is usually the slowest and chubbiest guy in the crew and that person is always happy to be cone guy, and now I know its not only his lazy attitude that he shows such enthusiasm as there are milfs and cougars driving around!

I was talking to a guy yesterday and how the guys on the crew take the slightest interaction from a female as a sign that she wants to hook up and the guys will go out of their way to say hi, try to engage in conversation, outright flirt, yes cone guy was definitely with an agenda with you and with your curse, how could he help himself? Its in both his construction background training and your seductive powers, he had no chance.

And can you believe its my job to go interrupt the dating game session before any guy slips and exposes his true intentions? Its cool to be supervisor at that point, as it then becomes completely obvious to everyone, she is impressed by my authority.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

Oh Pam, from one 40+ mom to another, I loooooved this. You are a total crack up. I would have acted and felt just as you described had I been in your place. If fact they do road work on our country highway every summer. I'm sorta looking forward to it now. I think your a pretty fast mover going all the way to a wink in just two weeks though.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

goldentoad, I appreciate you giving me the inside scoop! This is handy to know. You know what? I think that these cone guys also get off on the amount of control they have over women. We have to stop when they flip the sign to stop, and we can't go till he switches it over to go. It's like a dominatrix in an orange vest!

They must have fired the chubby guy on this crew cause this one was just right. ;) Oh how he toyed with me, but it's good to know this is universal. Although I thought we had something special. *sniff* ;) Not really!

Ooooh! I'll bet you give some of those MILF's and cougars something to think about after you assert your authority over the cone guys! You're bound to be the subject of many, um, dreams. :)

Randy! Thank you, and it sounds like you're going to have a really interesting summer. :) Hey, now that we know the scoop from goldentoad, use the cone guy to get to the supervisor...that would be the one with the real cone. Yes, I'm afraid that I was rather aggressive with that winking, but he seduced me first! Thank you for coming in, I ALWAYS enjoy hearing from you. Have a very fun summer! :)


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

This was funny funny funny. He was a bold and manly cone man, indeed. Wish I could type more about this Chaucerian tale of love!


Silver Freak profile image

Silver Freak 7 years ago from The state of confusion

OMG!!! This was just hysterical Pam! I just have one question. What does MILF stand for? *Picture me sitting here with a confused look on my face*


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Teresa, thank you, thank you! I appreciate the fact that you were able to type anything at all with your injury. :( So thanks again for coming in and leaving a comment that I hope didn't hurt too much!

Silver Freak, thank you so much, and I'm glad you got a kick out of it cause I sure did. :D Okay, now I'm not sure if you're pulling my leg about not knowing what a milf is, but I didn't know myself until a short while ago, and there may be others who don't, so here goes...

Mother I'd Like to ... um... I can't say the last word, but, you know, have sex with.. There! :D

Thanks for coming in to read. :)


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 7 years ago from Hell, MI

So I didn't waste my money on this stop sign, and orange vest? Wooho! I'll be out on highway 51, bumping Christoph into the ditch! See ya soon!!


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

Well Pam, you must ben an ohm (One Hot Mamma) and probably made cone man's day


Frieda Babbley profile image

Frieda Babbley 7 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

Well darn it! He might show up again sometime. I know, I know, I read your disclaimer. But still. Great piece. I forgot it wasn't a book and totally freaked out at the end. Dangit dangit dangit! You sure do know how to tell a story.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

B.T. that was a great investment! Women love a hawt construction guy...even the jackalope kind. :D The best part is that you can make the uninteresting ones go on by and stop the cute ones. You hold the power in your hands with the handy dandy stop/go sign!

Cindy, lol...he made my day for sure as well as my daughter's day. She was constantly rolling with laughter over seeing some guy flirt with mom. LOL! It was fun. ;) There's some construction going on now (again), and she'll see me scanning the guys with my eyes, and the other day she said, "You really miss your cone man don't you?" LOL!

Frieda, thank you! Alas, I think he's gone forever! I feel so cheap! He used me like an old snot rag and flung me aside. ;) I should have known better than to fall for a rambling man in tight jeans...always on the road. :D

Thank you all for coming in to read!


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Did I have fun with this read!  Mama mia, cone men and construction workers in general do know how it's done!  And you, too, smokin' hot, sweetpant, flip-flop wearing mama!  Laugh!

OK, now I have to ask the most stupid question of all, and I apologize for it, but what is a MILF? Mind you, I've googled it, but I have to ask because the results are... ahhhhh.... how to say it..... would it be enough to mention they make me think of you in all sorts of non PG-13 manners?

Cool interview, BTW, and thanks! :-)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Elena, thank you! Ah maybe I shouldn't have used MILF because it isn't terribly nice, but it seemed to fit for this particular case! lol! MILF stands for "Mother I'd Like to..." I'm sure you can guess what the "F" stands for? *blush* I couldn't really use "cougar" because my family tree only has one cougar. That's another hub! MILF's are another story!

Thanks about the interview (Christoph made it lots of fun), and you're welcome!


peace_maker profile image

peace_maker 7 years ago from Quebec Canada

I liked your story it has a lot of reality and cheers to it u have a catty way about ur self so tonight I enjoyed reading ur stories thanks so much to take the time of writing them. I at least read 3

 


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

peace_maker, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read 3 of my hubs. That's very kind, and I certainly appreciate your comments! Cheers is correct, and I'll take catty as a compliment especially since my avatar used to be a cat. :) Thank you again!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

This is a fatastically good story and much fun to read.

But what's wrong with *my* city? - Lots of contruction and no cone men, no stop/go guys, only crocodiles collecting in the rain in the dug up streets.

Accckkkkk!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thank you so much Patty! No cone men in your city? Crocodiles? Wow, maybe you should contact goldentoad and see if he can't spare a crew to send to where you live. If that isn't possible, this sounds like good reason to call upon a hot crocodile hunter for assistance. :)

Patty, thanks for coming in!


hairy A.S.S. 7 years ago

Strewth in another life I was a lollypop man,(we call em that ear). Just checkin me diary, was I ever in Va. Only me and the diary will know. I don't flirt and tell. ;-)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Hairy, you rascal you. I have just dispatched a crew of undercover agents to scour the outback and apprehend your diary at all costs. I will not stop at nothing to find my cone man!


hairy A.S.S. 7 years ago

Geez i no me grammer ain't all that crash ot. So you may jest havta exlpin somefin . So if ya will not stop at nothin wat wllya stop at ?

Only pullin ya leg. I nose wat ya mean.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I'm starting to believe that your curse leaves no stones unturned as far as the kind of men it works its black magic on. From doctors to cone men - now that's quite a wide field. Of course in the middle you'll have what? Plumbers, nurses, teachers etc etc. Now I say you're definitely a walking heartbreak waiting to happen! LOL "D


hairy A.S.S. 7 years ago

Cris wear do you think Aussie sheep shearers would fit in you list ?

my gestimate would be up round Brain Sturgeon somewhere!


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

hairy A.S.S.

It doesn't really matter as it seems nothing and no one can escape the curse. And I think Pam would know better where sheep shearers rank :D


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Hairy, the truth of the matter is that I will do nothing to find him because the genealogical curse that is deeply rooted in my family will reach out and remind him one day...no matter where he may be, and then he will have no choice. :D

Cris, you're right, there's no escaping the curse, it can even make a priest fall in love! How did you know that?? You must have the curse too only the man kind. There are no boundries or stones unturned. I should be careful here, because there might be another hub coming on, but I once had a male nurse drag me into a supply closet, and then there was the mailman, a policeman, my son's gym teacher....oh it's a wicked, wicked curse to see in action. lol! :D

An Aussie Sheep Shearer would be a new one, but that profession is not immune to the curse. There is no cure. I'm so sorry. :D


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 7 years ago from Canada's 'California'

Some of us got it and some of us don't ;) if you do? LOL enjoy the hell out of it! Funny hub...thoroughly enjoyed it!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Enelle, thank you so much! You're so right, and that means you must clearly have the curse too. ;) :D

I appreciate you coming in to read and for leaving such a nice comment. :)


bunyip named sue 7 years ago

Er excuse me miss, just wondering like. How are you with Bunyips.

I actually got off the leash tonight so I'm free. Well until I get nabbed anyway.!


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Pam Hilarous. I loved your story and the build up. A modern fairy story but the prince (er coneman) had to go. I can imagine you wandering around with the crushed cone going from site to site to see where it fits. someday my cone man will come!


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

Such great tension. Such gentle release. LOL You're an excellent story teller.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

bunyip, I'm not sure what a bunyip is, but I'm going to find out! :) I think you're friends with a jackalope, and if that's the case, then any friend of "the" jackalope is a friend of mine. :) Thanks for stopping in here after your escape from the leash! :)

sixtyorso, thank you! What a funny thought about the flattened cone, like the lost glass slipper in Cinderella. :) I think he should have at least given me that cone as something to remember him by. *heavy sigh* ;) I've looked at other cone men lately, but they simply don't fill his shoes or vest or jeans. :D Thank you so much for coming in to read. It's always my pleasure to hear from you!

Tom, you've changed your avatar again! Very nice! I liked the other one a lot too. Next time you should put a construction hat on or a traffic cone. That would be hawt. ;) Just teasing. ;) Thank you so much for the very kind compliment. I really appreciate it. :)


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

If the Cone fits wear it?


Jewels profile image

Jewels 7 years ago from Australia

Good one Pam. I'll remember your experience the next time I see a Cone man in my area. Very visual.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

sixty...ROFL! Now I'm speechless! :D

Jewels, thank you, and just be careful when you see those cone men. Eye contact will get things rolling very fast, but remember they're rambling men who will break your heart!


Frieda Babbley profile image

Frieda Babbley 7 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

Darn those ramblin' men.


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 7 years ago

This was great Pam! I can definitely relate. Although I didn't get into a flirty thing, I did approach a construction crew by bringing them coffee and donuts on a cold winter morning, which I wrote about in my Random Act of Kindness. Trust me, I would much rather have had your experience :)

Something about truck drivers, construction workers and men in uniform, well, what can I say! :) I may be older but surely I'm not dead LOL


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Trish, thank you! What a nice thing you did by taking the crew donuts and coffee. Now I'll have to read that hub to see how it turned out! I hear you about being older but certainly not dead. lol! Thanks for coming in Trish, I appreciate it, and I can't wait to read about your experience. :D


Lifebydesign profile image

Lifebydesign 7 years ago from Australia

What a sweet story Pam. I hope you get your cone man. :)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks Lifebydesign. :) Alas, I'm sure he's moved on, but there are more cones in the sea. :D Thanks for coming in for a read. :)


logic,commonsense 7 years ago

Pam were you attracted to his cones or did you just have an intellectual attraction? :)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Logic.commonsense...ROFL! Okay! Okay! I admit that I was very shallow and was swept away by his cones, but you should have seen them! :D Thanks for coming in, but thank you more for the huge laugh! :)


MellasViews profile image

MellasViews 7 years ago from Earth

Pam youre hilarious! I love it! Check craigslist under missed connections... youre cone man may be looking for you. lol. If anything check craigslist anyway under missed connections, the stuff you will find is hilllarious!!!! Great enteratining Hub Pam! ; )


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks Mellas! Craigslist...YES! That's very smart thinking OR you're a woman who is experienced in such matters as seductive cone men. :D I'm going to check out that missed connections section of Craigslist! lol!


bunyip named sue 7 years ago

As someone once famous once said "why dont you drop in and see me some time big boy". No that's not it. What about " Frankly my dear I don't give a damn" . No..........stuff it just drop in any time you want , I do cones to die for. And you probably will !!!!! ;-)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

bunyip, ROFL! Do you do scones too? Cones AND scones are a nice combination. ;) I don't think I want to die yet, and it sounds like you have the curse too! We might both die!!! :D

Thanks for coming in to read. :)


mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

Yo mama, that was too funny! You still got it going on even with the cone man.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks mayhmong! :) It was a funny experience for sure. I appreciate you coming in to read. :)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

badcompany, what an incredibly kind and wonderful comment! I truly appreciate it, and you have me blushing with gratitude. :) Thank you!


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

Oh Pam that was a classic hahahaha. You are one hell of a writer.(hugs)


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

I have to read this and comment later! I am so sorry I have missed your stuff!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

BP, thank you! It's always a joy to see you! :)

Pest, no worries! I'm just happy to see you and hope you're doing well. :)


KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 7 years ago from Central Texas

Great story, Pam!  My daughter thinks it's hilarious when guys flirt with me.  She, of course, likes to think they are only flirting with me to get to her.   Mauahahahaha.....she's not yet been introduced to the MILF 'curse'.  She and I recently had a nice dinner out.  For the majority of our visit we had a nice waitress, but they had a shift change and we ended up having two fine young gentlemen wait on us.  One was training the other.  The experienced waitor was most definitely checking me out.  He had incredible eye contact. The kind of piercing direct contact that made me squirm uncomfortably.   Fun feeling though.  *wink*


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

KCC, you've got it going on for sure! Work it girlfriend! :D What you said about your daughter is so funny because mine has said similar things, like "He's only being nice to you because of ME." lol! So I call her my "wing"...she reels 'em in and the curse takes over from there. ROFL! ;) Of course, I'm kidding, but I do call her my "wing" now (like in the Pickup Artist show). ;)

Thank goodness for shift changes and hot waiters! :) It is a squirmy yet very flattering feeling, and what a fun story. You've got the MILF thing going on for sure! Heck I'll bet you got all kinds of extra good service that night. :) Thank you for sharing that story! It sounds like an experience that would make a very entertaining a hub. :)

Thanks for coming in to read AND for the great story. :D


Janetta 7 years ago

Another great hub, Pam! I'm so sorry you lost the love of your life, Coneman. :( And don't sell yourself short, I'm sure he was hot for your body (well the upper half he could see at least) because you are totally a MILF! :) I like to think I'm a MILF too, though I'm sure that's not the case...oh well, I will never go into a construction zone the same again LOL


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Janetta, thank you so much! Yes, it was hard getting over a cone man like that one. It took a whole dang year before I could even write an account of our love without crying all over my keyboard and getting electrocuted or something. :D

Hey, I'll bet you ARE a MILF, and you're just being humble...a very good trait for a MILF to have cause that means you'll have mercy on your men. Maybe. :D LOL! Thanks for coming in to read and for making me laugh. :)


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

Pam, I'm disappointed that I missed this 2 weeks ago! Very funny, and I can just hear your daughter! Janetta's right. Construction zones will never be the same. We have one going on on our main road that's supposed to last over a year. I'll think about your cone man every time I pass the sign-flipping guy.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

LM, I'm just happy to see you now! It's always a joy to see you. So you're going to have over a year of construction guys in your area. Wow! Okay, be very careful if you make eye contact! I'll bet you're quite a saucy, milf-ish kinda gal, and it's going to drive that sign flipper guy nuts. Keep me posted! A whole year could mean an entire series of hubs for you to write. :D

Hey wait a minute...what if my cone man ends up being YOUR cone man? Hmmm. I only have a mental picture of him, so we'll have to compare notes!

Thanks for coming in LM! :)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California

A delightful story written with wonderful style and taste. A true joy to read. And, a perfect experience too, all the delight and ego balm you could wish for and no prolonged conversation to ruin it.

I read this and just grinned thinking, "Yeah, I missed this little corner of cyber space." Nice to see you haven't lost your grasp of craft.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

@ Shades Hi there long time no see!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Shades! All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you! You humble me, you make me smile, and I'm tickled beyond belief to see you.

Sixty...ain't it grand? Shades is like a huge breath of fresh air. :)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California

Sup Sixty! /cheers


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

So far, Pam, I haven't seen one that matches the description in your hub, but then you really only described one physical 'asset'. So I'll just stay on the lookout. I'll consider it research. Good thing the speed limits are so slow in construction zones, huh?


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

LM, maybe this will help...under his hard hat he has blonde or brown or auburn hair that wisps around his neck with seductive waves. His eyes are green or brown or maybe blue. Um, he wears an orange vest that fits rather snug over a shirt (unbuttoned low) that threatens to show pectoralis muscles that you want to thrust your body against and his biceps flex slightly as he turns the stop and go sign. He has a boyish grin and always seems to be glistening with sweat. ;)

With that said, if you see one who looks like the vampire construction worker in Shadesbreath's hub (Washboard Vlad), then forget cone man and snag that one real quick! He is HAWT!

Thanks for your help! :D


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

"but there are more cones in the sea".But Pam and this is the big one - only if you don't drive over them!  this was a laugh out loud hub - great - so funny....cheers


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

ROFL ajcor! You got me good on that one! What an embarrassing moment, but there was something in his expression that told me I wasn't the first woman to drive over one of his cones. ;) lol!

Thank you! :)


santoion profile image

santoion 7 years ago

Very good hub.Thank You !


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks CabinGirl and santoion! I appreciate it. :)


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

Before I say what I came to say, I have to recover from laughing at the ad at the top of your hub. "Find a Sperm Donor". OMG!!!!

Okay, I've been through six construction zones since 7:00 this morning. Only 3 had sign flipping guys, but I think I may have found your man. He was not quite 6' tall, his body proved that sign flipping isn't his regular job, his jeans fit very nicely, and he had the mirrored shades. I jotted down your profile address while I was waiting for the flip and tossed it at him as I drove by. When I came back through, he pulled the glasses down and winked. You'll probably be getting an email. :-)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Laughing Mom! All I can do is ROFLMAO over and over and over!! You are hysterical, and I THANK you for giving me such a hard laugh!

Eek! Sperm doner ads? What's google thinking? The next thing you know my hub won't even be readable or viewable for all the donations splattered all over the danged place! I'm outraged! ;) lol!

What a dandy detective you are, and I think this qualifies you as my new best friend since you went to such lengths to find my cone man! And what a quick thinker you are to give him my profile address! I'll be sitting by my email night and day breathless with anticipation. :D

I have to ask...did you run over a cone when he winked at you? ;) He has that kind of charm you know. ;)


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

Shh....you weren't supposed to tell about the cone thing. Actually, I took out a couple of them before I careened up the pile of gravel and flew over the front end loader. I was a bit breathless myself. But the kids thought it was cool. It was all worth it, Pam, if you get even just one word from him.

And if today is the day you finally got enough clicks to get a check, you'll know someone around here is desperately seeking some....sperm. :-)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Laughing Mom, you've made my day! What a strong, dedicated, daredevil of a woman you are to risk your life in such a way! Now you've made it on my Christmas list! :D

ROFLMAO AGAIN! Now I'm gonna have to keep an eye on those dicks...I mean clicks (hey typos happen!) and hope lots of women need, um, sperm. Hey, I heard it's really good for your skin too...it gets rid of cellulite overnight! Really. Go click and see for yourself. :D LOL! I think we're both so bad in a really fun way! ;)


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

I think you're just exhausted from the packing.  I'm not that funny.  But keep your eye on those c-l-i-c-k-s, you may get rich someday.  Watching the the others will probably only lead to trouble.  Fun, perhaps, but trouble. As for the beauty advice, let me know how it turns out for you. I need testimony before I'm willing to be THAT guinea pig!!!

Miss you, too!


R. Johnson profile image

R. Johnson 7 years ago

Really funny! had me literally laugh out loud. thanks for sharing..


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thank you R. Johnson! I appreciate you coming in to read and for the very nice comment. :)

Laughing Mom, I might be tired, but you are that funny. :D


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

wonderful, just very, very funny!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

LondonGirl, you made my day and put a smile on my face, so thank you! :) I appreciate you coming in to read.


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

Hey Paaaaaaam!! We miss you!!!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

{{{LM}}} Thanks! I really, really, really miss you all too! I move tomorrow, then hopefully it won't take long to get things in order so that I can hub and catch up with what's going on. :D Take care and thanks again! :)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

Pam how are you haven't you been here a lot miss ya x0x0x


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

{{{blondepoet}}} Hugs to you! I moved to another town that's over 3 hours away from where I was, and I've been unpacking boxes like crazy! I'm almost done though, and I hope to get my hubbing back on track very soon. I've missed you! XOXO : )


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Welcome Back Pam....did you move North, South, East or West?


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Hey Blue! I moved north, but I'm still technically considered south. ;) lol! But seriously, I moved from southern Virginia to the more northern part, and I love it. Thanks for asking, and I'll look forward to being more active very soon! :D Take care!


ralwus 7 years ago

Yer a MILF. I know these things.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Hehe ralwus! I know you know all kinds of things especially these things, but I'm afraid my MILF days have abandoned me. :D It's good to see you!


lxxy profile image

lxxy 7 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

Embrace the MILFness.. =P Very captivating and funny read, thanks for sharing with us! =)


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin

That is the BEST laugh I've had today!!!! thank you. Though I'll never look at our cone man the same again.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thank you RGraf! I don't know why or how your comment didn't show up in my inbox, but it didn't. So I'm sorry for the long delay in telling you how much I appreciate you stopping in to read. :) Hope you're doing well!


nutuba profile image

nutuba 7 years ago from North Carolina

What a fun hub! I thoroughly enjoyed this and found myself laughing out loud. It makes me wonder though ... I grew up in the Midwest, where it's normal to wave at everybody you see on the street or sidewalk. I still have the tendency to do that ... and now I wonder if my wave is ever misconstrued. If I'm ever a cone man, I'll have to be careful about how I communicate (unless of course I really am trying to flirt. :-)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Thank you so much nutuba! I understand exactly what you're saying about living in an area where it's normal to wave or even to say hello to everyone you see even when you don't know them. It's very warm and exceptionally nice. :) But do be careful! An innocent wave can ignite a flame in a woman's heart when mixed with those flirty cone man eye signals. ;)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Hi, Pammy!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia Author

Chris! My writing muse and inspiration of all time! I've missed you! I must dash off to see what you've been doing or writing here!


Money Glitch profile image

Money Glitch 6 years ago from Texas

What a great story, I am still LOL because I can relate really well. There's nothing worst than finding a "heart throb" of a cone man and then losing him. LOL!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks Money Glitch! It's always good to know when someone can identify. :D LOL! Cone men can be such heartbreakers. ;)


Info Help profile image

Info Help 6 years ago from Chicago

Hi Pam :)

Great hub! We as women get finer with age, just like wine. Great story. I am a fan :)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

Funyyyyyyyyyyy......... :-) No, hilarious!! I loved the "he began to undress my car with his eyes" :-))

I am an instant fan:-)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia Author

Ah! Thanks De Greek! :)


iantoPF profile image

iantoPF 6 years ago from Sunny California

This is the first one of your hubs i've read and it's great. Never been a cone man but I've been a bus driver most of my life and the opportunity to flirt is hard to pass up.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia Author

iantoPF, I've read some of your hubs, and you're quite an impressive writer, so the pleasure is mine that you took the time to read this. :) Thank you!

I'm now considering the option of bus transportation. Today. Immediately. :)


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

You go girl! Being a MILF does not seem to be such a bad curse after all so you should not apologize for it, especially considering that it made De Greek notice you and eventually he married you because of it (or in spite of it?). Great story


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia Author

Ah! Thank you Petra! You're too kind! And I am thankful that this story lured my Greek Adonis to me! ;)


SilverGenes 6 years ago

VERY funny story! Oh, the embarrassment of that slow reveal of sweatpants!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia Author

Foolish me! I've learned my lesson now. ;) lol! Thanks for reading this one SilverGenes. :)


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

I've always been told that,"You're only as old as you think" and I think that I've been 20 for the last decade! You never fail to bring a smile to my face or get me to laugh. Reading your hubs is like having casual conversation with you Pam. You're all aces in my book ;) I enjoyed every word!

Dohn


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia Author

Dohn, that's the best thing you could have said to me, because I want what I write to flow like a casual conversation between friends. Thank you so much. :) And you're sincerely aces in my book as well.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Loved this well-written story. Thanks for sharing your cone man with us.

Love and peace

Tony


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Are you sure you are not a MILF? Funny write! Thank you!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia Author

Micky, lol! Thank you for taking the time to come in to read. I appreciate it!


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

Thanks to De Greek, I found this. Absolutely delightful! I loved the humor, especially your daughter's reactions. I think I'll start looking for a cone man! I think I'll start following you. I love your humor.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia Author

Thank you mysterylady! I appreciate you coming in to read and De Greek for sending you here. :) Be careful with the cone men, they're smooth!


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 5 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

LOL - Life's little treasures. A simple flit can brighten a day - for both the giver and the receiver!

By The Way "I'ld say you are a MILF"

Love - Light - Laughter

Neil


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Hello Neil, yes, and I'm sure he got some laughter out of it too! Wonder what his version of the story was? That would be interesting wouldn't it?

Thanks for coming in to read!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

A nicely constructed story, Pam. It just flowed, and I must say I was enjoying it so much I wanted more. Your daughter was drawn to perfection. Thank you.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Ah! You! How can I thank you for the kind comment? It's very much appreciated, and, coming from you, I'm humbled.

About my daughter...she aspires to be a queen, but I see that Prince William is taking care of that with another woman. Hmpf. There's one more prince over there though...one down, one more to go...I'll have to find a queen school real quick. ;)

Thank you again. :)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

This was brilliant Pam. The Cone Man story was so delightful.

Your writing is effortless and fun to read. I also loved learning about MILF. I was laughing out loud at a Caribou Coffee. Thanks for making my day:)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Ah, I should be thanking you for making my day (night/morning) with your kind comment. :) Thank you! MILF is such an awful (like abrasive) yet funny thing to me, so I struggled with whether or not to use it here. Thanks for taking it lightly. ;)


primeis 5 years ago

(Keep in mind, I'm 39.) When I grow up I want to write like this, so effortless. It is a pleasure to read your work. Thank you.

Based on your picture, you just might more good looking than you think.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia Author

primeis, thank YOU for the generous comment. I will look forward to reading your hubs! For now I'll have to be content with admiring your shelves. :)


primeis 5 years ago

So you like my ... shelves. You've got some nice flowers in your picture as well.

I have some interesting counters upstairs too and I even put a basic bio on my profile.

A serious question, before I get to invested with this profile ID, would it make sense to scrap this one and make it W. B. Isley? I'm working on the background for a six book Sci Fi series. Is Primeis to unprofessional?


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Thank you for asking my opinion. I think if you want your profile here to be connected in any way to your book series or if you plan on sharing the series in hubs, then W.B. Isley sounds really good to me--professional, snappy, and like you're already an author. ;) Otherwise it's a completely personal choice on your part that depends on how you plan to use this account.

I wish you the best!

P.S. Yes, I saw your...um...bio. ;)


W. B. Isley profile image

W. B. Isley 5 years ago from Monett, MO

Greetings from the reincarnated primeis. Thanks for the advice, I took it. I'm looking forward to reading my hubs as much as you are. I read your muse hub and at this point I would welcome any gender of muse. I have Attention Deficit oooo shiny.

Anyway, have fun and may your muse whisper in your ear soon.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Oooh! Very impressive! I have my sneakers on ready to stand in line for the book signing. ;)

You have a great sense of humor and I hope to see some of that in your writing! If the shiny things distract you, well...I better help you find a muse quickly (one that isn't too distracting and can do a little carpentry). :D


W. B. Isley profile image

W. B. Isley 5 years ago from Monett, MO

Aw shucks. You'd put shoes on just fer me. Wow! I feel special and all. ;^)

Yes, carpentry is a must. I would definetly like to see my 'car' 'try' to 'pen' something for me. :D


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 5 years ago from Virginia Author

LMAO! Shoes are a huge commitment coming from me! :D


Ghost32 5 years ago

Ah, I could only laugh lightly at this one, for I too, am painfully aware of the curse, which is possessed in full measure by MY Pam.

When we lived in Sturgis, South Dakota--and not only during Motorcycle Rally Week, either--I used to tell people that I whenever MY Pam walked down the street, I had to follow...with a mop and a bucket, to clean up all the saliva drooling to the sidewalk from all those OTHER men following her down the street.

At sixty, she's still got it.


arusho profile image

arusho 4 years ago from University Place, Wa.

That was totally hilarious!

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