Review of 2014 Shark Movies
It's official: 2013 was The Year of the Shark Movie, thanks to the surprise success of "Sharknado." When the Asylum's campy, ridiculous-on-purpose horror/disaster film first aired on SyFy in July of '13, it unexpectedly blew up on the social media sphere like Amanda Bynes after a six pack of Red Bull, giving the notorious B-Movie studio the closest thing they've ever had to a bona fide mainstream blockbuster. "Sharknado's" massive fanboy approval led to numerous re-airings on SyFy and culminated in a one-night-only nationwide theatrical run, complete with the film's cast members and celebrity guests walking a red carpet in Hollywood. In other words, the Asylum and SyFy had captured lightning in a bottle. Eager to capitalize on the notoriety, SyFy reportedly green-lighted a "Sharknado" sequel before the film had even completed its first airing.
However, the Asylum crew are not the only low-budget shark movie makers on the scene. Just like real sharks do when they smell blood in the water, other studios have jumped on the bandwagon and have unleashed hordes of finny flicks in recent years, like "Swamp Shark," "Jersey Shore Shark Attack," "Sand Sharks," "Super Shark," "Sharktopus," and "Spring Break Shark Attack," to name just a few... and it seems like new ones are being cranked out on a near daily basis!!
Below you'll find a selection of upcoming shark movies that are due to be released in 2014, either via the SyFy channel, on DVD, or your nearest video-streaming service. Will any of these flicks recapture the mania of "Sharknado," or will they be chopped to pieces and thrown out for chum? Only time will tell. (Cue "Jaws" theme...)
"Mega Shark Vs. Mecha Shark"
"Mega Shark Vs. Mecha Shark"
It seems fitting that The Asylum fired the first shot in the 2014 Shark Movie Wars, since many film buffs credit (or blame) the studio's now-legendary "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" (2009) for kick starting the current craze for low budget shark movies. The film's trailer was an early viral video success for The Asylum and until it was eclipsed by "Sharknado," "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" was the studio's most notorious hit. The third (!) film in the series, "Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark" was released in late January 2014 and rounds out a trilogy that now rivals Christopher Nolan's "Batman" films in terms of sheer awesomeness. Following its battles with the Giant Octopus in the first film and Crocosaurus in the second, the Mega Shark's nemesis in this third go-round is a gigantic, top secret shark-shaped government submarine manned by D-list celebrities like Elizabeth Rohm of "Law & Order" and Christopher "Stargate SG-1" Judge. They even lured back '80s pop queen Debbie Gibson, who enjoyed a bit of a career resurgence after her appearance in the original "MS vs. GO," for an appearance as crusading scientist Dr. Nikki Riley!!
Even Bollywood is getting in on the act! "Warning" Trailer
"Warning" - Sharks from Bollywood!
The Indian movie industry, known colloquially as "Bollywood," has been known to occasionally borrow - and by "borrow," I mean "rip off wholesale" - plot lines and stories from American movies, so it's not a surprise that they'd want to get in on some of this sweet shark movie action. The only question is what took them so long? Witness "Warning," a 3D seafaring adventure that appears to owe much to the two "Open Water" films, as a group of attractive twenty somethings get separated from their boat while on an ocean outing... which naturally leaves them helpless when a horde of hungry sharks makes the scene. "Warning" was released in India in September '13 but is apparently set to hit U.S. shores in 2014. Since the trailer screams that "Warning" is "BASED ON TRUE EVENTS," I would assume that means there will not be any elaborate Bollywood style dance numbers featuring the sharks before they start munching on their helpless victims. Too bad, because that would be awesome.
"Avalanche Sharks" Trailer:
This epic from "Transmorphers: Fall of Man" director Scott Wheeler shows a "2013" release date on its IMDb entry, but I can find no evidence that it has actually surfaced on DVD or on SyFy's airwaves yet as of this writing, so I can only assume that it's been pushed back to 2014. Whenever it comes out, the awesomeness of "Avalanche Sharks" is already assured. Check out the breathless promotional hype that accompanies the film's trailer on YouTube:
"After a horrific avalanche, the staff at Twin Pines Ski Resort starts to receive reports of missing people and creatures that move beneath the snow.
As the body count piles up, the management tries to cover up the situation, which leads to disaster on their busiest day of the year: Bikini Snow Day."
I swear, I did not make that up. I don't know about you folks, but any film that features an event called BIKINI SNOW DAY automatically qualifies as a must-see in my book. Also, "Bikini Snow Day" would be a great name for a band.
"Shark Exorcist" (?)
This audaciously titled flick from notorious no-budget gore director Donald Farmer (of "Chainsaw Cheerleaders" and "Dorm of the Dead" fame) has been in the works since at least 2011, but its IMDb entry says it's finally getting a release in 2014, for whatever that's worth. Details about the film's plot are sketchy (read: almost non existent) but from what little I've been able to glean about the film from the internet, viewers are in for a bizarre mix of sharks, voodoo, demonic possession, witches, and exorcism... and of course, girls in bikinis. Gotta have those. One wonders how a shark could be demonically possessed to begin with, and how you would go about exorcising one, but I would imagine that both of those questions will be answered when this flick finally hits the shelves. Maybe.
"Sharknado 2: The Second One"
The sequel to the Asylum's surprise hit premiered on SyFy amidst much hoopla on July 30, 2014...and yes, it was just as awesome as you probably expected. The film's New York City setting gave the Asylum's CGI artists a workout and screenwriter Thunder Levin, who had said that he wanted to see "sharks in the subways" and "a shark impaled on the spire of the Empire State Building," was as good as his word. Original cast members Ian Ziering and Tara Reid returned for round 2 (because seriously, what else do they have to do?), and they were joined by two "Independence Day" cast members (Vivica A. Fox and Judd Hirsch), onetime MTV babe Kari Wuhrer, comedian Andy Dick, rock offspring Kelly Osbourne, and rocker turned TV personality Mark McGrath among a host of other celebrity cameos. Sadly, Cassandra Scerbo, whose portrayal of gun-toting bikini waitress "Nova" in the original earned her a worldwide cult of fanboys, was not asked to reprise her role in the follow up.
The film's underwhelming title, by the way, was chosen from submissions sent in by "Sharknado" fans via social media. I was severely disappointed that none of my dozen or so suggestions - which included "The Shark Who Shagged Me," "The Shark Knight Returns," "A Good Day to Shark Hard," and "Sharknado 2: The Revenge of Tara Reid" - were considered. Sigh! I might get a second chance to use one of these, though, because SyFy and The Asylum have announced that a "Sharknado 3" is already in the works for Summer 2015!!
They may have survived "Sharknado 2," but the population of New York City comes under shark attack again in "Piranha Sharks," a horror comedy in which a miniature, genetically enhanced hybrid of sharks and piranhas - bred to become the next big designer-pet sensation - escapes into Manhattan's water supply and begins breeding like crazy. You can probably figure out the rest. The two biggest names in "Piranha Sharks" are Kevin "Hercules" Sorbo and disgraced baseball legend Jose Canseco (?)...with casting like that and Leigh Scott of "Transmorphers" fame in the director's chair, you just know this flick is gonna be quality.
Which of these Shark Movies will you watch?See results without voting
Will There Be More? Of Course!
I doubt that these six flicks will represent the entire Shark Movie genre for 2014. There are probably many more bizarro ideas percolating in the minds of screenwriters and low budget studio heads as I type this article. As long as SyFy keeps its checkbook open and Redbox and Netflix need fresh material, the Shark Movie craze will keep marching on. If any new contenders for the 2014 Shark Movie crown turn up in the coming months, I will add info about them to this Hub. Until then, make sure you stay out of the water, off of airliners, away from the snow, and don't go out during a tornado. You never know where one of those pesky sharks will turn up. (CHOMP!!)
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