Sorry Jobs For Super Stars

Some things in life literally “fit like a glove.” They go together like a complex jigsaw puzzle. Always a pleasure to be in a “fitting like a glove” situation.


Dating, marrying the right girl or guy, having the best choice in friends, clothes and yes, even jobs, are all “fitting like a glove,” situations.


Then there’s the world of work. And with that observation comes a serious question: Ever take time to just stop and observe people at work? I tell you. Lessons about life and either fitting-in or being out-of-place can be learned rather quickly.


I’ve always enjoyed associating with people that you “just know” are made for their jobs. Carpenters, plumbers, lawyers, and doctors, even preachers to name a few.


Then there are people who seemingly struggle with their jobs when asked to do the most-remedial tasks like walking across the office to give an estimate on a job or explaining the difference in textures of concrete. Purely amateur gigs if you ask me.


I mean, I was never that deep into construction, but at least I “do” know the difference in cement and concrete.


I said all of that to say this.


The same principle can be applied to Hollywood iconic film and televison stars. Some are “just” made for a certain film or primetime show because as I’ve already proven that they “fit like a glove” when entertaining their audiences. Easy, free-spirited and with no sweat to show for their labors.


Example: Red Skelton. Can you really see Red driving a diesel truck from coast-to-coast for living?


Or “sex kitten,” Sophia Loren working as a receptionist in a plumbers supply company.
Didn’t think so. Case closed.


With this story, I wanted to present a few more Hollywood iconic film, television, singing, and athletic stars who are “right” for whatever area of entertainment they perform.


They do their jobs with such ease that I think they are “phoning-in” their acting, singing or feats they do on the gridion or baseball field.


But what if “the tables were turned,” and the superstars (in photos in this story) had, for some reason, not chosen show business or professional athletics for a living?


Ever thought of that? I have. I just love to sit around and think of things like this. Why? Well, I don’t see anyone else doing it.


Read and compare what I have come up with as my story is entitled, “Sorry Jobs For Super Stars,” and see if “I” have answered my true calling or just “whistling in the dark.”

This lovely creature is Catherine Zeta-Jones

actress, wife of Michael Douglas, and former spokeswoman for T-Mobile.
actress, wife of Michael Douglas, and former spokeswoman for T-Mobile. | Source

JOBS MS. JONES WOULDN'T BE MADE FOR ARE:

Fortune Teller, Snake Charmer, Bank Teller, Tomato farmer and Day Care manager.

OTHER STARS AND JOBS THEY WOULDN'T BE CUT-OUT FOR:

TOM BRADY, QUARTERBACK, NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
TOM BRADY, QUARTERBACK, NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS | Source

TOM BRADY WOULD NOT BE GOOD AT THESE JOBS

  1. Televangelist
  2. Dog Food Salesperson
  3. Emcee for some off-brand variety show
  4. Hobo

ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. FILM STAR
ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. FILM STAR | Source

ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. WOULD NOT BE WELL-KNOWN AS

  1. A Marine Corps drill sargent
  2. Skipper for a tugboat
  3. Snake-Handling preacher
  4. Rodeo Clown

THE LOVELY PRINCESS KATE MIDDLETON
THE LOVELY PRINCESS KATE MIDDLETON | Source

PRINCESS KATE WOULD SOON BE FIRED AS

  1. K-Mart employee
  2. McDonald's manager
  3. School teacher for girls
  4. Librarian in an obscure London hamlet

OPRAH WINFREY, SUPER STAR, WEALTHY WOMAN.
OPRAH WINFREY, SUPER STAR, WEALTHY WOMAN. | Source

OPRAY WOULDN'T MAKE IT AS

  1. Cattle rancher
  2. Sports arena maintenance worker
  3. Sportscaster
  4. Census taker

MATT DAMON FILM STAR, GOOD GUY.
MATT DAMON FILM STAR, GOOD GUY. | Source

YOU CAN FORGET MATT DAMON MAKING A LIVING AS

  1. WWE wrestler
  2. Valet for Brad Pitt
  3. Stand-up comic
  4. Janitor

MARK WAHLBERG, FILM STAR AND GREAT GUY TO KNOW.
MARK WAHLBERG, FILM STAR AND GREAT GUY TO KNOW. | Source

CAN YOU SEE MARK WAHLBERG WORKING AS

  1. Newspaper delivery person
  2. Hospital orderly
  3. Kindergarten teacher
  4. Bouncer for a seedy club

PRETTY KATIE COURIC (ON RIGHT) FORMER HOST OF NBC "TODAY" SHOW AND NOW STAR OF HER OWN SHOW ON ABC, "KATIE."
PRETTY KATIE COURIC (ON RIGHT) FORMER HOST OF NBC "TODAY" SHOW AND NOW STAR OF HER OWN SHOW ON ABC, "KATIE." | Source

KATIE COURIC WOULD BE IN TEARS IF SHE HAD TO WORK AS

  1. Pizza Hut employee
  2. Security guard on night shift
  3. Baseball field maintenance worker
  4. Runway model for hats

THE SUPER-HOT JESSICA ALBA, FILM STAR.
THE SUPER-HOT JESSICA ALBA, FILM STAR. | Source

POOR JESSICA. HAVING TO MAKE A LIVING AS

  1. Female impersonator of famous female movie stars
  2. Traveling motivational speaker
  3. Historian
  4. State highway employee

AARON ROGERS, QUARTERBACK FOR GREEN BAY PACKERS
AARON ROGERS, QUARTERBACK FOR GREEN BAY PACKERS | Source

AARON ROGERS WOULD BURN-OUT IF HE HAD TO WORK AS

  1. Grunge Rock singer
  2. Traveling salesman
  3. Farmer
  4. Animal wrangler for movies

To show you that I am a good sport, here is a complete list of jobs that I KNOW that I would have "bombed" at doing

  1. Gang member
  2. Back-end of a two-man horse for costume parties
  3. Political adviser
  4. Go-fer (for famous people)
  5. Railroad engineer
  6. Scarecrow designer
  7. Animal intestine inspector
  8. Landfill supervisor at night
  9. Competitive power-walker
  10. Animal sound impressionist

Now, what jobs are not made just for YOU?

This is super star, Mark Harmon

star of CBS' NCIS where he plays "Leroy Jethro Gibbs," head of a Naval Crime Investigation Service.
star of CBS' NCIS where he plays "Leroy Jethro Gibbs," head of a Naval Crime Investigation Service. | Source

JOBS MARK HARMON WOULDN'T BE CUT-OUT FOR ARE

Research Scientist, Dog Trainer, Circus Clown, Oil Rig Rough neck and Cab Driver

More by this Author


Comments 20 comments

JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

I laughed my way through your lists, Ken, (including your own), then decided to make my own short list of jobs I would not have been "cut out for" at all:

Wall Street stockbroker

Medical lab technician

Supermarket butcher

Home Depot employee

Nail salon tech

I'm sure there are many, many more at which I would have stunk, but those came right to mind.

As for Oprah working in the cattle industry, that's really a hoot after the cattle association sued her several years ago for saying on air that she'd never eat another burger!

Voted Up and Funny!

Jaye


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Okay, okay... you got me. I am retied, but I thought it might be fun to be a cook at Mcdonald's. 1) It was hard to land this job. With persistence and luck I got my chance. It was fun. 2) They had to let me go. I have A LOT of friend who came to see me at McDonald's. This became disruptive to business. I got fired at McDonald's! :))


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Another hub chock full of amusement and hilarity. Although being a die-hard Mark Wahlberg fan, I can imagine him doing just about any thing.....as long as I can watch him doing it!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Kenneth, very funny hub! They could do a reality show putting famous people in everyday jobs, but make it so no one knows who they are. That would be entertaining!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

This is such a good post on what if's. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the mentions. You are so right on with most of them.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

I always though I'd make a good actress however if I didn't make it it always worried me what I would wind up doing. I know I couldn't be a construction worker scared of heights and I couldn't be a deep sea diver don't swim well at all. Maybe even at my age Hollywood is calling. lol


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Jaye,

Your list is hilarious. Now you being a nail tech might be okay. At least you could sit down while you work and if you were to get a following of rich women, hey, the commissions would hit the roof. I appreciate you reading this hub and leaving such a funny comment. Thanks, Jaye.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MHatter99,

No worries. If I had went that route, the moment I viewed one of my old chums at the drive-thru, I would have done the same thing. I just cannot say "no" to talking to old friends. And hey, there's always Burger King. See ya' there.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, shiningirisheyes . . .I will see what I can do for you. Hey, I got a big house I want to build in Palm Beach and I will hire Mark and his brother, Donnie, to be construction workers. I will send my private leer jet to your home each day and get you. Will that work? So what if they both dont know anything about carpentry, the collection I take up from the crowds who gather to see them will more than make up for the lack of talent. LOL. Thanks for your sweet comment.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

Great idea. So why don't you call-in some favors from CBS, NBC and ABC and see if YOU and I can produce a famous star doing an everyday job? But you and I get the big bucks for the idea? What do you say???


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

teaches12345,

A BIG Thank YOU for your kind comment on this hub. I want you and all of my followers to know that IT'S ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS THAT HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH EACH DAY. AND IT'S ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS WHO MAKE MY EXPERIENCE ON HUBPAGES THE GREAT TIME THAT IT IS.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Gypsy Rose Lee . . .Hey, I would watch you in any show or Broadway play you were in! I mean it. And if you never think of failing, how can you fail? As for your fear of heights, I got the answer. Just buy the construction company and let someone else do the climbing. Problem solved. And Gypsy, love ya' for the comments. :)


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Great idea Kenneth! Now if I only had friends at networks...


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

Thanks, and I am working on that very thing, getting us friends at the networks. I call them all most everyday and tell them HOW talented YOU and I, and MY FOLLOWERS are. Sooner or later they must respond. Or send the cops. If that happens, I am then going by the name, "Cicero Gongalez."


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Hahahahaha!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Thanks, catgypsy. I will be here all week. Be sure tip your waitress. Uh, oh. Showtime. Need to make my entrance . . .

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce to you, for a fifth-consecutive week, the "toast of Hamilton, Alabama, a man who thrives on being the 'center of attention,' a man who REALLY needs professional help . . .Mister Cicero Gooonnnn---gaaaa-lllezzz!


sweetie1 profile image

sweetie1 4 years ago from India

This is funny Hub Kenneth. I remember we had an heroine Neelam who was born outside India and had foreign accent and she played one who runs a road side Dhaba ( very down market restaurant) which is usually run by mostly illiterates. Think a sexy girl running that and talking in European accent. It was really funny.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sweetie1,

I agree with you, and thanks for your "sweet" comments. A sexy girl running any market and also a heroine is great reading. I hope you and I will stay in touch, for I love my followers.

Merry Christmas!


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 3 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

I don't know, Catherine Zeta Jones might make a pretty good snake charmer lol! Very funny and entertaining Kenneth! I enjoyed it! Kathi :O)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Fossillady/Kathi,

Hey, girl. Thanks so much for your sweet and uplifting comment. I appreciate your interest in my works.

And I thank you for following me, but in the next day or two, I am going to send YOU a Personal Note of Thanks for doing that.

Your following means the world to me.

I just hope that you continue to like my hubs. Thanks again, and I am going to pull a "sneak attack," (not "snake attack" by Catherine Zeta), on your hubs and sample your writing.

God bless you and keep you.

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